Chapter 8

Andrew

 

As promised, I joined my parents for dinner after they’d rested a bit from the Valencia excursion.

And surprise, surprise—I couldn’t get Eric out of my head.  Like, at all. In fact, it was kind of ridiculous. I met my folks at their cabin, and as we headed to one of the bistro restaurants for dinner, we passed by the sundeck where I’d seen Eric tanning before I’d gone into Mallorca yesterday. Just like I did then, I nearly stumbled over my own feet. Had that really only been yesterday morning? And since then we’d met up, hooked up, and spent several hours kicking around the ship like we’d known each other forever?

Christ, was it time for us to meet up at the bar yet?

Get a grip, Andrew. Plenty of time later. Spend some time with Mom and Dad, for God’s sake.

And besides, Eric’s on the rebound. From someone he almost married.

That thought made me both uneasy and calm. Uneasy because rebounds could be messy. Calm because this meant whatever we were doing was probably just a vacation fling. The end of the cruise would be the end of this, and in the meantime, I was more than happy to help him get over his ex.

After I’d spent some time with my parents.

As my folks and I sat down in the bistro, I said, “So, how was Valencia?”

“Oh, it was lovely.” Mom beamed. She had a little extra pink in her cheeks, and that absolutely did not remind me of Eric’s now-faded sunburn. Oblivious to my mind wandering—again—Mom went on. “The monastery was amazing. You would have loved it, honey.”

I smiled. “Maybe someday I’ll get back.”

She frowned. “You’re not going to stay on the ship for all the excursions, are you?”

“No, no. Of course not. Just needed a day to…” See how many times I could come—I almost choked on nothing. “Just needed to finish shaking off the jetlag, I guess.”

Mom huffed. “Well, you’ll come out to Cartagena, right? The day after tomorrow?”

“Sure. Yeah. And I’m definitely doing the Gibraltar tour.”

“Good.” Dad paused to glance at something on the wine list. “We decided not to do the Alhambra excursion, but we haven’t canceled our tickets in case you still want to go.”

I thumbed the corner of my menu. “Isn’t that the one where we have to be off the boat by like five in the morning?”

“I’ve heard the Alhambra is worth it,” Dad said with a shrug.

I’d heard that too. And I really did want to see the Alhambra. But the thought of being ready to roll at five o’clock, a long bus ride, a walking tour in the heat, and then a long bus ride back? Meh. “I’ll think about it.” For about three nanoseconds. “Why aren’t you guys going?”

Mom sighed. “I’d love to, but my knee is giving me grief from the last couple of walking tours. Another lady told us the Alhambra tour means a lot of walking, and up and down a lot of stairs and hills.” Grimacing, she shook her head. “I’m worried I’ll be miserable the rest of the trip if I push it.”

“Fair enough,” I said. “Sorry you’re going to miss that one, though.”

“Oh, I’ll be all right.” She managed a smile. “We’ll do the tour of the Rock in Gibraltar instead. I hear that one’s fun and not as strenuous.”

“Long as a monkey doesn’t steal your camera,” Dad said, chuckling.

Mom actually laughed and didn’t seem all that worried. Damn, this vacation must have been doing her some good. She and I were a lot alike—we both tended to overthink things and worry about the most ridiculous details. That was why we’d clashed so much in the early part of our trip. Like when we were at O’Hare and I’d been worried sick about making it to our gate on time while Mom insisted everyone stop at the restroom. With what had seemed like miles to go until we reached our gate before our flight began boarding in half an hour, I’d balked at the idea of stopping even for a couple of minutes, and the head-butting had begun.

But now she was going with the flow. Walking tour was potentially too much for the knee she’d had replaced last year? Skip it. Monkeys on Gibraltar might abscond with her camera? Eh, whatever.

Yeah, she’d needed this trip. And so had I, now that I thought about it.  I’d been painfully wound up for the last few weeks—before and after I’d lost my job—and now I was…chill. There was a steady stream of worry through the back of my mind, and I still felt guilty for taking this trip at all, but at the same time, I was more relaxed than I’d been in I had no idea how long. A cruise to beautiful places apparently had that effect.

Right. Because it’s just the cruise that’s making me feel this good.

I shivered, squirming in my chair.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Mom asked. “Are you cold? Should we move away from this vent and—”

“No, no.” I put up a hand and shook my head. “I’m fine.” I picked up my menu. “We should probably order something.”

“We should, but are you sure you’re—”

“I’m good, Mom. I promise.”

Surprisingly, she let the subject go, and the three of us spent the next few minutes checking out the menus. After we’d ordered, Dad turned to me and casually asked, “So what did you do today?”

“Um.” I tried not to choke. “Slept a bit.” Mostly with— “And explored the ship.” And had some of the most amazing sex with—“Did you know they sell Rolexes on board? I can’t believe how much money people are willing to spend on watches.”

Mom laughed dryly. “I don’t imagine there’s much you can’t buy on a cruise ship. I think I even saw them selling other cruises.”

“Really?” I said. “I mean, I guess nothing really surprises me anymore.”

“Mmhmm. And speaking of, you know they had a shop in Valencia selling all kinds of things made out of cork?”

I raised my eyebrows. “Oh yeah?”

She nodded. “I guess they bring it up from the south. Andalusia or Malaga or something. But they make everything out of it.” She jabbed a finger at Dad. “Your father bought a wallet made out of the stuff, and I found a hat for your nephew.”

“A hat? Made out of cork?”

“Damnedest thing I’ve ever seen,” Dad said. “Lady said the best stuff is in Portugal, though. Almost makes me want to take a trip out there just to see what kind of things they’re making out of it.”

“Huh.” I picked up my water glass. “How about the paella? Did you guys find any?”

“We did!” Mom’s face lit up. “One of the shopkeepers sent us to this little hole-in-the-wall place. It was amazing.” She shot me a playful scowl. “You really missed out, Andrew.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

Can’t say I regret it, though.

 

***

 

I tried not to rush through dinner or through goodnights with my parents. I really did want to spend time with them, and I was grateful as hell they’d brought me along on this cruise.

But goddamn it was hard to be patient when there was a hot man meeting me in T-minus soon at the Starlight Bar.

Especially since being away from him gave my mind time to overthink things, and overthinking things just made me anxious. Less than twenty-four hours into this, and my brain was already working itself into a lather. What were we doing? What did Eric expect out of this? What did I expect out of it? It was just a…one-cruise stand, right? We’d fuck as often as possible until the cruise was over, and then we’d go our separate ways. Right?

And damn it, why did I feel so guilty for doing even that much? I wasn’t supposed to having constant, acrobatic sex on a cruise ship on the Med. I was supposed to be looking for a job.

On the other hand, I was already here. I was already on the cruise. Already spending my parents’ money every time I had so much as a soda. Already completely ignoring the countless websites I’d bookmarked with job openings. How much worse was it if I was also banging the hottest man onboard? Especially if it meant helping him get over his as-of-recently ex?

But what if I went back to Des Moines and couldn’t focus on job hunting because I’d let myself get too hung up on Eric? Because knowing me, I would. Didn’t matter that this was obviously a short-term thing.

Sighing, I took a deep swallow from my ice water. Why the fuck couldn’t I just relax, enjoy the cruise, and enjoy the man who was going to meet me at Starlight Bar in half an hour? Why couldn’t I just throw myself into being hooked on Eric while I had him and worry about the future when it got here?

Easy—because that wasn’t me. Never had been.

Except it would be this time. God knew when I’d have a sex life again, and I highly doubted the Here’s a Really Hot Dude for You fairy would bless me twice. Somehow, I was going to turn off that over-anxious voice in my head and enjoy turning on that Really Hot Dude while I had him.

And not a moment too soon, I had my opportunity to do just that. My parents and I finished dinner and said goodnight, and I damn near sprinted to the Starlight Bar. I was about twenty minutes later than I’d intended to be, and by the time I stepped through the door, I’d convinced myself Eric had gotten tired of waiting for me and gotten the hell out of—

No, he hadn’t.

Because there he was.

My gaze landed on him from across the crowded room, and it was just like when I’d found him last night at the mixer. Everything just…stopped. All the other faces blurred into a single featureless mass while he seemed to sharpen. Every detail of his face and the unbuttoned coat he wore over his T-shirt and the drink in his hand was suddenly high-res and vivid compared to the muddy blur of people around him.

The only difference this time? He was looking right at me. Watching me over the rim of his glass, he grinned, and my pulse went haywire. Holy shit. Him and me? Tonight? Really happening?

Well, not if I kept standing here like an idiot, so I found my feet and worked my way through the crowd until I reached him.

“Hey,” I said despite my pounding heart. “Sorry I’m late.”

Eric smiled, sliding a discreet hand over my waist under my jacket. “You were having dinner with your parents. I wasn’t exactly expecting you to ditch them and come running.”

Don’t think I didn’t consider it once or twice.

He bit his lip, then nodded toward one of the patio doors. “Want to go outside? I don’t feel like being…” His eyes flicked to my mouth, then at the throngs of people around us, before he looked right at me again. “Suitable for mixed company.”

I gulped. “Oh, I am totally on board with that.”

He motioned at the bar. “You want to get a drink first?”

“Nope. I just want you.”

Eric grinned, and the heat in his eyes made every inch of my body tingle. He led me out onto the patio. There were a few more people out here tonight—most of them apparently straight—so we kept walking until the bar’s noise faded behind us. We found our way to a deserted stretch of deck, and leaned against the railing beside a row of empty sun loungers.

“So much for hanging out at the bar,” I said.

“I just said we’d meet at the bar.” His lips grazed mine. “Didn’t say we’d stay there.”

“Fair point.” I pulled him closer.

The kiss went on, and we both relaxed into each other. Fuck, but I loved the way he kissed. We’d gone from zero to sixty last night, hurrying from a few kisses in the bar to sex in his stateroom, but now…now this.  Arms around each other, lips moving together in perfect sync like it hadn’t been less than twenty-four hours since our first kiss, we just made out in the warm evening air. My jacket was starting to get too hot now that we were out of the air-conditioning, but I kept it on. I liked the way it felt when he slid his hands under it, same as I liked how it felt to slide my own hands under his jacket. Like we were each copping a discreet feel instead of just tracing muscles and spines and sides.

Eric moaned a little as he kissed me. His beard brushed softly against my chin, occasionally tickling my lips or my nose. It wasn’t scratchy, though, so I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind anything as long as he didn’t stop kissing me.

In the back of my mind, I thought maybe we should have stayed at the bar and spent some time getting to know each other instead of darting out in search of something physical. But on the other hand, what was the point? We had less than two weeks. We could save 20 Questions for IMing on Facebook from five states away. Or shooting the breeze while we recovered between orgasms. And anyway, he was on the rebound, so why act like this was something it wasn’t?

Right now? This was all I wanted. I wanted his mouth against mine. I wanted the heat of his body and the firm grip of his fingers as he touched me all over, stroked my hair, kneaded my ass…

Thank God for the railing to keep me upright. My knees were wobbly, and I was sure I was one kiss away from melting into a puddle right there on the deck. The way he kissed me and touched me and fucking wanted me drove me wild, especially since I wanted him right back.

I turned us a little so my back was to the railing, then kissed him even more hungrily. He moaned, clawing at my jacket, and ground his hips against my dick. He had me pinned to the railing now, and I loved it. Only thing better would be when he pinned me to his bed, but we’d get there. For now, I just wanted to taste his mouth over and over while his hands roamed my whole body, leaving goose bumps in their wake.

As he rubbed his hips against me, I was distantly aware that we weren’t physically the same. I’d never really thought about being with a trans man before. I hadn’t dismissed or rejected the idea—just hadn’t thought about it. And now that I was with Eric, it only ever crossed my mind now and then, like when we were pressed together and he didn’t have an erection rubbing against mine. But the awareness only flickered through my mind, same as if I’d noticed if he was wearing a belt or had another shirt on under this one. I was much too busy kissing him and thinking about everything we’d be doing once we were behind closed doors and naked.

Eric twisted his hips a little, and fuck me, but now he was pressed against me just right to rub my hard-on with his hip. And judging by the way he was moving just slightly from side to side, that friction was not accidental.

Breaking the kiss, I whispered, “Jesus.”

“Like that?” he asked playfully, pressing harder against me.

“Uh-huh. You weren’t kidding about that whole not being suitable for mixed company thing, were you?”

Eric laughed wickedly. “Not at all.” He ran his palms down my back and onto my ass. “I was getting a massage earlier, after my workout, and all I could think about was having your hands on me.”

“Mmm. I love the sound of that.” I nipped at his lower lip. “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to be spending most of this cruise in your bed?”

Eric grinned. “You make that sound like a bad thing.”

“Oh no, not a bad thing at all.” I wrapped my arms around him and dipped my head to kiss his neck. “Your bed’s a lot bigger and more comfortable than mine.”

He burst out laughing even as he tilted his head to expose more of his neck. “I knew you had some evil ulterior motive.”

I nibbled just above his collar. “Hey now. Isn’t like the extra comfortable mattress is the only reason.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Nope.”

“Then why are we still standing here?”