Chapter 10

Assumptions

 

“You’re doing great.”

Mandy had turned off most of the overhead lights, leaving only a small amount of light, and with the door closed it was surprisingly quiet in the room.

“Have you ever been hypnotized before?” she asked.

“No,” I answered and continued to concentrate on rubbing Sally’s head like she’d told me to do.

“It’s not like what you see on TV. You won’t fall asleep or even be sleepy. Hypnosis is a state of focused relaxation. It’s simply a psychological state, a different kind of awareness, where your brain will be more open to memories. Your focus will change from perceived expectations to the actual event.” Mandy’s voice was soft and soothing as she spoke. “I want you to continue to pet Sally. Relax and only think about how soft her fur is. Good. It’s soft and smooth. Now slow your breathing - deep, slow breaths, good.”

Mandy’s voice gentled as she spoke, and it was becoming difficult to concentrate on her words. The sound alone was calming. Sally’s head had long ago rested on my lap; it was heavy and warm, anchoring me to the chair I was sitting in.

“Keeping your eyes closed, I want you to tell me what you had for dinner last night.”

“Orange chicken and white rice.”

“Meadow, what did you have to drink with your orange chicken and white rice?”

“A Diet Coke out of a can.”

“Tell me what you were drinking at the Blue Bird.”

“Gin and soda.”

“Did you have lime or lemon with your gin?”

I thought back to that night. I had to wait to get the bartender’s attention. When I finally did, I ordered gin and soda. The noise level was so loud I had to yell over the bar for extra lemon.

“Extra lemon.”

“Where were you when you ordered your drink?”

“At the bar.”

“Tell me about that night. You ordered your drink, what happened next?”

“The bar was packed. Wall-to-wall people. I picked up my drink and headed to a table that a waitress was clearing. I sat down and checked my phone. My friend Maya was late, and I hated being there by myself. I sipped on my drink, and after a few more minutes I checked my phone again. I had a missed text message. Maya had a fender bender and was tied up with the accident and had to cancel. There were so many people looking for an open table I felt bad and went back to the bar so someone else could use the table. I finished my drink, and I ordered another. I was talking to someone.”

“Who were you talking to?”

“I don’t know. They’re right there at the bar, but I can’t see.”

“Okay. Skip it. Can you remember what you were talking about?”

“Purses. The bartender had filled a beer glass too full, and some had spilled when he was passing it to a patron, and it got on her purse. It was expensive. She called the bartender a clumsy idiot. I was horribly embarrassed at how rude she was. I wanted to leave, but then she apologized to the man, and I felt better. So, I stayed.”

“What kind of purse was it?”

“It was a four-hundred-dollar Coach Edie Shoulder bag. She told me it was a gift from her boyfriend. I thought it looked like a waste of money.”

“You’re sitting at the bar talking about purses. What happened next?”

“She was telling me the purse was a gift. The only nice thing her boyfriend ever gave her. I was bumped from behind and spilled some of my drink on my shirt. I looked behind me, and someone had fallen. I got up and helped the drunk girl to her feet. Her friends apologized for her bumping into my stool, and I sat back down and finished my drink.”

“What else did you and the woman talk about other than purses.”

“She was flirting with the bartender, but he wasn’t paying attention to her. I couldn’t understand why she was hitting on the man when she had a boyfriend. I wasn’t feeling well. I’d only had two drinks, but I thought I was going to be sick. She helped me up and took me past the line to get into the restroom out the back door, so I could throw up. My head felt fuzzy, and if she wasn’t holding me up, I wouldn’t be able to walk.”

“Where are you?”

“In an alley. We walked out the emergency exit. The door was propped open.”

“Did you throw up?”

“No. I thought I was going to, but the fresh air felt good. I was so hot inside the bar.”

“Where is the woman now?”

“She’s yelling at me. I tried to cover my ears, but I can’t get my arms to work. My head is pounding. She won’t stop screaming at me. Over and over. My head is going to explode. It hurts.”

“Focus on her words.”

“She’s really mad. So mad. I don’t want her yelling at me.”

“Focus on only the words. Not the pain or anger. What is she saying?”

“She called me a bitch and a thief and pushed me on the ground. I landed on my hands and knees but couldn’t hold myself up. I rolled onto my back, and she was standing over me.”

“Tell me what she’s saying.”

“I don’t know. Her lips are moving, but she is fuzzy. I can see her but I can’t. I know she’s talking.”

“Okay, skip it. Relax into the moment. What are you doing?”

“I’m begging. Please don’t do this. She kneeled beside me and said, you think because you’re so pretty you can have whatever you want. Take and take. Steal what doesn’t belong to you.”

“Good. What do you see?”

“She has a big kitchen knife. She raised it back to her shoulder. I told her I didn’t steal anything. I begged her not to hurt me.”

“What hand was holding the knife?”

“Right hand.”

“Look at her hand. Focus on her fingers and tell me exactly what you see.”

“I don’t know. It’s too hazy, and I can’t see clearly.”

“Does she have light skin or dark skin?”

“Light.”

“Good. What happens next?”

“Pain. Pain everywhere. I feel every inch the knife is pushed into my stomach. Everything hurts. It’s too much. I want it to stop. I can’t make it stop. I’m hot, and I can’t breathe.”

“Skip it, Meadow. There is no more pain. What is she saying to you?”

“You shouldn’t take what isn’t yours, you dirty bitch.”

“Then what do you see?”

“Nothing. My head is pounding, and I can’t see anything. I can hear her breathing heavy. I can’t see her. She’s right there. Right in my face. She is right there!”

“Meadow! That’s enough. Open your eyes and look at me.”

“She’s there, right there looking at me. I can feel her. Why can’t I see her? The image is so close; I want to see her.”

“That. Is. Enough.” Mandy clapped her hands in front of my face, and I opened my eyes.

Unlike what I’d seen in movies when someone is hypnotized, and they wake up not knowing what’d happened – I could remember everything I’d told Mandy.

“Take a breath and relax. Let the image go.”

“I can almost see it, Mandy.”

“It doesn’t matter. You did great. Give your mind a rest. The harder you try to force yourself to see it, the fuzzier it will become. Leave it.”

She was right. The more I tried, the less I could see.

“A woman attacked me.” I had never taken into consideration it had been a woman who had hurt me. All these years I’d assumed it was a man, refusing to remember anything but a few sentences from that night. “When I dream about what happened in the alley, I hear her yelling at me. But the voice is never the same. Sometimes it’s high-pitched and shrill, and other times it’s almost robotic. Same words, different voices.”

“Is the voice always a woman’s voice?”

“No. Male and female both. I always thought it was a man.”

“The mind is programmed to process information in the way we perceive it. That’s why I wanted to try to hypnotize you. All that happened was we removed the expectation and your mind was free to remember.”

Holy shit. All these years I’d thought a man had tried to kill me. I wasn’t sure how to feel about the new revelation. A woman!