Chapter 12

A date

 

Of all days…

Something had crawled so far up Beth’s ass, not only had it died, but it was decaying. From the moment I’d walked into the office after my session with Mandy, she’d been on my case. Her sales numbers had dropped this week, and two clients canceled their accounts after she’d missed a meeting with them. She blamed me, even though I didn’t keep her schedule. Bitch. I’d heard her in her office yelling at someone on the phone; and I hoped to God it wasn’t a client. If it was, I understood why people were canceling their orders and their memberships to our cloud storage service.

Beth had never been especially nice to me, but after my attack, she’d been even bitchier. And today had been no different. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but every time she made a comment, it was like a slap in the face. I’d heard it all, from how sorry she was I was now ugly, to what a shame it was I’d never have children. The woman was down-right mean.

I held my breath when five o’clock rolled around, and she’d stopped out of her office, prepared for the verbal vomit that would spew from her mouth. But when she’d placed her reports on my desk to file she didn’t say a word. In fact, she looked like she’d been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy and her normally perfect makeup was smudged. If she were anyone else, I would’ve asked if she was okay. But she wasn’t, and I didn’t. I watched in shock as she made her way to the door, with her purse hanging from the crook of her elbow and her coat draped over her arm, and silently left. No snarky comment about how lonely it must be going home to an empty house. No boasting about how perfect her boyfriend was. No bragging about how he’d been hinting at marriage. It was crazy a man would actually want to marry her. Today she was silent. I should’ve been grateful, but instead, I kind of felt sorry for her. When I thought about it, she hadn’t mentioned the boyfriend in a few months.

Trouble in paradise?

I had barely enough time to get home and change before Nick came over. I rushed through closing down my computer and grabbed my bag from under my desk and headed out. Now that I didn’t have Beth or work to occupy my mind, I was getting nervous. More than nervous, my palms were sweating the whole drive home, and by the time I pulled into my parking spot, I’d considered canceling.

Why was I doing this? It was a waste of time; nothing could or would come of having dinner with Nick. He was handsome, smart, and had a good job. I was sure like most men, he’d want a family. Maybe he wanted to have some fun before he settled down and found a wife. My heart sank at the thought of being filler. That’s all I could ever be, the filler, the space between when a man was playing the field and ready to settle down.

Before I got out of my car, I grabbed my phone and sent a message to Veronica Venus.

Me: Am I crazy for going on a date?

VV21: Meadow? Is this you? Have you been abducted by aliens? A date?

I couldn’t help but laugh at her response. I haven’t been on a date in years. Hell, I barely leave the house. I’m a twenty-six-year-old cat woman, minus the cats.

Me: Yes. With an FBI agent. He’s super-hot! ?? ??

VV21: FBI?

Me: Sigh. Long story. I’ll fill you in tomorrow. He’ll be here soon; I have to get ready.

VV21: Have fun. Be safe. And I want details tomorrow. Wait, the FBI guy from the other day?

Me: Yes.

VV21: Sweetie. Are you sure it’s a date and he just doesn’t want more information from you?

Ouch! As much as what she said stung, maybe she was right. Was I making too much of this? Nick asked if I wanted to grab dinner. He didn’t call it a date. He didn’t even ask, really. Just I’ll come by, and we’ll have dinner. Shit. I’d misread the situation.

VV21: I’m not being mean. I don’t want to see you get hurt. Don’t let him use you.

Use me? Nick wouldn’t use me, would he? I didn’t know him that well, but he didn’t seem like the type of man that would be dishonest or underhanded.

Me: No. You’re right. He didn’t call it date. He said “dinner.” I called it a date. I’m sure he’s being nice checking on me since I was hypnotized today and remembered some awful stuff.

How could I’ve been so stupid thinking that Nick wanted to go on a date with me? He felt sorry for me, that was all. He was a nice guy, and nice guys go out of their way to help broken women like me.

VV21: YOU REMEMBERED?!

Me: Not everything. I’ll message you later and tell you about it. I’m sure I’ll be home early from my non-date dinner. How lame am I thought he asked me on a date?! BBL. xo

I put my phone in my purse and headed to my door. How had I been so stupid?

“Hey.”

The voice behind me had me nearly jumping out of my skin. I dropped my keys and spun around so quickly I banged my hip on the door handle.

“Damn!”

“Shit, Meadow. I’m sorry I scared you. I thought you heard me,” Nick said, and picked up my keys holding them out for me to take.

I hadn’t heard him approach, I was too busy thinking about what a dumbass I was thinking that a man as good looking as Nick would ask me out, even as filler, I wasn’t good enough for him.

“What was that?” he asked.

“What?” I looked around and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

“That look. What were you thinking about? You went from being scared to sad,” he told me.

“I did? I didn’t mean to.” I busied myself unlocking the door. “Come in,” I offered and stepped to the side to allow him entry.

My apartment was small, but it had everything I needed to be comfortable. Well, most of the time. Except when I had nightmares, then it felt too small. A bonus was it was within walking distance to Sam’s and a grocery store. I bet Nick lived in a nice place, with a big yard, in an upscale neighborhood, with beautiful people who walked their dogs on Sunday morning. They probably had beautiful people block parties in the summer too.

“Are you sure you’re okay? If you don’t feel like going out, we can grab take-out and stay here or go to my place.”

The backtracking has begun. He finally realized what it would mean going out in public with me.

“I’m okay but staying in is fine. It’s probably easier any way.”

“Easier?” Geeze. Did I really need to spell it out for him? “I don’t understand.”

Apparently, I did.

“Listen. It was really nice of you to want to check on me. I promise I’m not going to have some weird mental break and freak out. You don’t have to do this.”

“Have to do what, Meadow?” he growled. Was he mad? He sounded mad, and now I didn’t understand. Why was he upset? “And why would staying in be easier?”

“Really? Seriously? You want me to explain?”

“Yeah, Red, seriously.”

“Do you not see the huge, gigantic scar on my face?” I unnecessarily pointed to it.

“Yeah. I see it. What about it?”

“What about it? You cannot be that dense. You’re a smart man. What do you think happens when I go in public? I can’t hide it. People look, and stare, and sometimes point and say shit. Everyone will see you with me and wonder what the hell the hot guy is going with the ugly chick.”

Shit. I hadn’t meant to say the last part.

Nick ate up the distance in three angry strides and cupped my face in his large hands, effectively rendering me speechless. No one had ever touched my scar and Nick had done it twice now. Well, the doctor had, but he didn’t count.

“Meadow, not one single person better point, stare or say shit to you when we are out together, or I’ll lose my shield in a quick-hot-minute when I shove my foot up their ass. Anyone who sees the two of us together and doesn’t wonder what such a beautiful, brave, smart woman is doing with the likes of me is a dumbass. Straight up Red, you need to stop filling your pretty head with bullshit. Do you think I care what other people think? Fuck no I don’t. I care what you think. And this…” He paused and ran his thumb across my scar, “means you’re alive. It takes nothing away from how beautiful you are. Your beauty shines from the inside out; scar be damned.”

If he hadn’t been holding me up, I would’ve fallen to the floor.

“Why are you really here?”

I held my breath and waited for his answer.

“Because I want to get to know you better?”

“Why?” I asked.

“Why? Do I need a reason?” I nodded my head and he continued. “Because I’m attracted to you and not just physically. But that’s not to say I’m not using every ounce of willpower right now not to kiss you. I’ve watched you for years like some weirdo in the coffee shop, hoping that you’d give some indication you’d welcome conversation. But you haven’t. And while the situation that brought me to you is fucked up, I’m not stupid, and I’m taking my shot.”

Wow. He’d watched me too.

“Say something Red. Have I freaked you out?”

“Is this a date?” I blurted out.

“Yeah. It is.”

“I haven’t been on a date since before. No one has wanted to date me.” Damn. Now I was making myself sound pathetic. Not that I wasn’t, but I didn’t want him to know just how pitiful my life was.

“You’re wrong. Men take one look at you and know they’re gonna get shot down, so they don’t approach. You have a wall built around you that is a mile high and just as thick. I’m not complaining. I’m pleased as hell no one has been smart enough to saddle up with a jack hammer and break through. But it has nothing to do with a scar and everything to do with you screaming stay away. Whether you mean to or not, it’s there. Just to be clear, Red, I have every intention of breaking through.”

“You can kiss me.” What in the ever-loving hell possessed me to tell him that? I think I was having an out-of-body experience. So, I told him just that. “I must be in some alternate universe or still under hypnosis because I think I may be floating right now. Are you real?”

“Yeah, baby, I’m real. And as much as I’d love to kiss you, we’re gonna take this slow. I have a feeling that once I taste your sweet mouth, I won’t ever get enough.”

“Wow.”

He leaned down and closed the distance between our lips and gently brushed his against mine. The contact was soft and brief, and after the touch I didn’t want slow. I want now and fast.

“You kissed me,” I breathed.

“Red, if you think that was a kiss, I hate to say it, but you’ve been doing it wrong,” he laughed. “Sally’s still in the car. Is it cool if I bring her in?”

“Shit, Nick. Why did you leave her in your car? Go get her.” I pulled back and gave his chest a shove. He didn’t move, he just stood there and smiled at me. “Are you wearing one of those bulletproof vests?” I asked.

“No. Why?”

“That’s all you?” His chest felt like it was lined with steel.

“All me,” he confirmed.

Damn!

“I’m gonna go get Sally before I forget we’re taking this slow and throw you on your couch.”

He left.

I paced.

By the time he got back, I still hadn’t had enough time to wrangle my newly-awakened sex drive under control.

“Hey, sweet girl.” I knelt to greet Sally. “Why isn’t she coming to me?”

“I haven’t given her the command yet,” he explained.

“Oh. Well, can you? Her tail is wagging so fast I’m afraid she’ll take flight.”

With a flick of Nick’s wrist, Sally barreled toward me and stopped just shy of knocking me over, waiting for me to give her love.

“How ‘bout we order a pizza and stay in,” I suggested.

“Meadow,” he warned.

“Because of Sally. Unless she can come in a restaurant with us. I don’t want her to have to wait in the car. I wouldn’t enjoy my meal worrying about her.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“Yes. Promise.”

I didn’t even have to think about my answer, it came immediately, and it was the God’s honest truth. For the first time in five years, I wanted to stay home not because of my scar but because I wanted Nick and Sally all to myself.

“Sounds good. Mind if I change out of my work clothes? All I have is my gym bag, so I’ll be grungy.”

Nick in workout clothes? Yes, please!

“Fine by me.”

Nick shook his head and smiled. I wondered if he could read my thoughts? He seemed to be awfully proficient at reading people’s facial expressions.

“Sally. Stay.”

Sally and I stayed. Sally, for her part, sat and watched her owner walk out the door. I did almost the same thing; only I was watching his rear end.