Chapter 28

Veronica Venus

 

“Why do you keep apologizing? It’s not your fault.”

I was trying to be patient, but now I was getting annoyed. Nick had apologized no less than five times in the last thirty minutes since his uncles left.

“I should’ve gotten to you sooner.”

“Really? How? With your psychic abilities? You guys found me; that’s all that matters.”

Sheesh. Enough with the guilt already!

“She drugged you, and…”

“Stop. Enough. I know what she did Nick. I was there. I drank the coffee. I am the one who should’ve known better than to drink anything she gave me. She probably spit in it too. She hated me and didn’t hide it. Why I thought it was a good idea to take anything from her is my mistake. Now, please just tell me what her second phone had to do with how you found me, and why it’s a big deal?”

“Fuck, Red. You remember how she told you she had listened to you whine about your life for the past five years, and she knew everything you told Veronica Venus?”

“Yeah. She had to have hacked my phone or something.”

“No, baby, Beth is Veronica Venus.”

“What?”

How was that possible? Veronica Venus lived in South Dakota. I met her after my attack on a message board. That didn’t make any sense.

“Beth was pretending to be a survivor so she could get close to you and keep tabs in case you remembered anything. We were also able to isolate messages from Veronica Venus and pings on her cellphone that she had been following you a long time.”

“That’s not possible. How would she know what message board I belonged to, or my handle?”

“When did you start messaging with Veronica Venus?” he asked.

“I don’t know; after my attack, I joined the message board.”

“Right, but when did VV21 pop up on the message board? Had you gone back to work?”

Holy shit.

“She said I should’ve been more careful using company computers. When I went back to work sometimes on my lunch break, I would sit at my desk and log in to the message board.”

“Why would she do that?” I cried. “Oh God, Nick, I told her everything.”

I didn’t care that Beth knew I’d called her names behind her back. If I’d been strong enough at the time, I would’ve said them to her face. It was all the other stuff I told her. I’d spilled my guts to the woman who hurt me, all of my thoughts and feelings about never having children, not feeling worthy of love or a man, and how I felt less of a woman. Oh, my God. I poured my heart out thinking she was my best friend; she knew everything about me. Everything.

“I’m sorry, Red, come here.” Nick tried to pull me closer to him, but I recoiled. I didn’t want him touching me, or feeling sorry for me - poor stupid Meadow.

“Don’t. Please just leave me alone.”

“No, Red…”

“Leave Nick. I don’t need your fucking pity.”

“I don’t pity you.” Then he sighed. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you yet. You needed more time.”

“More time for what? More time for you to laugh at me about what an idiot I am?”

“Enough. You’re not an idiot and I would never fucking laugh at you.” Nick’s face had turned to stone, and his voice was rough with anger.

“Great. Just great. Did everyone on your team read the messages?”

“Meadow, listen to me, it wasn’t like that. No one was reading the messages to invade your privacy. We were simply trying to find clues as to where she would’ve taken you. Then she powered on the phone and Kristy was able to ping your location.”

“So, everyone knows how weak and pathetic I am. Whining and crying to my imaginary online friend about how lonely I was, how I’d never have a husband or baby, how I was falling in love with you. Oh, my God, they saw what I told Veronica Venus, ugh, Beth, about our first date.”

“No one sees you that way, and no one cares what you told that bitch. I promise you they were not reading the messages to gossip. All we wanted to do was find you.”

“Please just leave. I need some time to myself,” I begged.

“No way, Red. I’m not letting you sit in here by yourself.”

I needed him to go. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t bear to look at him. How could I have been so stupid to tell my most inner thoughts to a stranger? So, I did the cruelest thing I could think of – the unimaginable.

“I don’t want you here. This is all your fault. Now leave me alone.”

I regretted the words immediately. Nick recoiled and hung his head before he looked back at me with more pain and shame than I’d ever seen in a person’s eyes. I did that, and to further twist the knife in my heart, I did it on purpose, so he would leave me to wallow alone in my self-hatred. I lashed out trying to make him hate me so I could in turn hate myself more. I didn’t deserve Nick. I was broken and weak. He needed a woman who was his equal, not someone who had nothing to offer.

I was destined to be alone the rest of my life.