Chapter 8

Sally

 

“Take a few days and think about it. I’d like you to read the information I gave you on hypnosis.” Dr. Mandy Brown had a calming grandmotherly appeal, though I didn’t think she’d appreciate me thinking of her as grandmotherly; she looked younger than my mom.

“Thank you for not thinking I’m crazy,” I told her.

“Why would I think you’re crazy?”

“For starters, I drove here in a complete freak out because I saw the news and had convinced myself someone was watching me then…”

“Wait. You thought someone was watching you? What do you mean?” Her posture suddenly changed, and her smile disappeared.

“See? Crazy. I get the feeling a lot. When I talk to my friend who is also a survivor of a violent attack, she says it’s normal, that I’ll always feel that way and I should ignore it.”

Veronica Venus has been my rock over the last few years. I would’ve become the hermit I’d joked with her about becoming if it wasn’t for her talking me off the ledge. The first month I went back to work was the worst. Every time I stepped foot into the office, I could swear someone was staring at me. When I broke down and talked to Veronica Venus about it, she laughed and said, of course they are. It took some getting used to, everyone staring at me and watching me. After a while, I was able to push it back and ignore it. I still get the creeps sometimes, and all the hair on my arms will stand up reminding me that I’m a freak.

“Tell me about this time. Where were you? What were you doing?” Mandy asked.

“It really is my imagination. I was getting ready for work. I clicked on the TV to check the weather and news about the girl that was found last night was on. When the broadcast showed the alley, I dropped my coffee. All I could think about was I was found in an alley. That could’ve been me. No one was watching me; it’s all in my head. I know it, but it’s like there’s this disconnect between my brain and my body’s reaction. I can’t explain it.”

“I think you explained it just fine. Where were you in your house?”

I was sorry I’d brought up my silly notions about imaginary people watching me. It was nothing, something I’d learned to live with.

“I was in my living room – alone. Safe and sound; the only threat to my well-being is my overactive crazy thoughts.”

She seemed to contemplate what I’d said and thankfully dropped it.

“I think you did the right thing coming here. It is always better to be safe than sorry. You have my numbers. Use them if you need to, day or night. And please, Meadow, if you ever think you’re in danger – drive here immediately. The lobby of this building never closes.”

“Thank you. But that won’t be necessary. I know you can’t tell me anything. Nick explained the case is ongoing, but do you think the same guy that attacked me killed all those women?”

That was the question I needed answered the most.

“I think there’s a strong possibility.” Mandy didn’t bother to sugar coat the news, which I appreciated.

“Do you think you can hypnotize me?” I tried to fight back the tears, but when one rolled down my cheek, I angrily swiped it away. I’d given this asshole too many tears. Too many sleepless nights. Too much!

“Yes. But I still want you to think about it.”

“Okay.” After all this time, of trying my hardest to forget that night, it was time to dig deep and push through the pain of the memories. If my suffering could save one woman’s life, then it would be worth it. “Thank you for taking the time to explain everything to me. I’ll think about it tonight and call you tomorrow.”

“You’re very welcome. Would you like to talk to Nick before you leave?” she asked, and I felt my cheeks heat.

I didn’t want her to think I was some kook who was stalking her partner or making stuff up to get close to him.

“That’s alright. I don’t want to bother him,” I said regretfully, even though I wanted nothing more than to see him one more time.

“Don’t be silly. He’ll want to see you’re okay before you leave anyway.” She smiled.

We found Nick across the room, not that I hadn’t been tracking his movements around the room the entire time Mandy had been speaking to me. I couldn’t help it; my eyes had always been drawn to him. Even in the busy coffee house I could look through the crowd and zero in on him immediately. But now that the deep rumble of his voice had been directed at me, it seemed whatever weird connection I’d felt had locked into place, and I couldn’t stop looking to him for comfort. Just knowing he was close made my body tingle and come alive, a feeling I hadn’t had for a very long time. More than that, he made me want to be brave. I had to know something that would help them catch the man that was killing these women. Hopefully, Mandy could unlock the memories I’d worked hard to bury deep in my mind, in a vault with double padlocks where I could never access them.

“Everything okay?” Nick asked when we approached.

“Yeah.” Mandy laughed. “Meadow is getting ready to leave.”

Nick’s features softened when his gaze landed on me. “I’ll walk you to your car,” he offered.

“Oh no. I’ve taken up enough of your time. I don’t want to bother you.”

Now that I’d calmed down, I was embarrassed I’d rushed over here and made a fool of myself, crying in my car like a complete freak.

“No bother. Besides, I was leaving anyway,” he told me, pushing away from the desk he’d been leaning against.

“Going to pick up Sally?” Mr. Gonzales asked.

“Yeah. Lazy girl was still sleeping when I left.” He smiled at the other agent. “I’ll be back in thirty minutes.”

Shit. I was so stupid. Of course, someone as good looking as Nick Clark would have a girlfriend or wife. Damn, I was a total bitch lusting after another woman’s man. Not that I’d ever thought he’d give me a second glance. Not only was my face hideous but I had nothing to offer a man. I’d help the FBI as much as I could, then I’d slink away and go back to my pitiful, lonely existence, where my only source of friendship and human interaction took place over the internet.

I continued to mentally berate myself all the way to my car. Nick was quiet and watchful and waited for me to unlock and open my door before he spoke.

“Are you okay?”

“Other than being mortified at being a drama queen and having a panic attack, which led me here, where you got to witness me freaking out and crying? Yeah. I’m fine. I’ll call Mandy tomorrow, and we’ll set up a time for her to try and hypnotize me. Hopefully, I can remember something helpful.”

Nick took a step closer, closing the already small space between us.

“Red, I’m happy you came here. You are not a drama queen. Whether you remember details that are helpful to our case is not what’s important. Maybe it will help you put what happened behind you.”

I stiffened at his closeness. I could feel his warm breath on my face as he spoke. Too close. Nowhere to go. No way to escape. I was trapped between his hard body and the door jamb.

“Whoa, Meadow. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s umm… it’s fine. I’m fine. I’ll let you get on with your day. Thanks again for all your help.”

I maneuvered into the driver’s seat and quickly shut the door. I knew it was rude, and I’d cut him off as he’d begun to speak, but I couldn’t bear to stand next to him a second longer.

It hurt.

I physically ached from the closeness.

He was everything I could no longer have.