Chapter 9

Brandt

It was Monday, and I was back to work after a weekend that had felt like it lasted forever. After I had walked in the park, I went back home, and Sicily and I spent the evening watching movies. On Sunday, we had lunch with Mom and then got ready for school the next day. It was a normal weekend, like nothing had ever happened on Friday night, but my mind knew differently. I couldn’t break myself out of the spell Emma had left with me. I was sitting there at my desk and hadn’t been down to the lab at all that day. I couldn’t get the girl out of my mind. I had tried all weekend, and by that point, I was exhausted from fighting it. So, I let my mind wander, hoping I would get it out of my system.

Later that day, when I finally had gotten into the groove of at least answering emails, Trevor knocked on my doorframe, leaning against it with a smile. He walked over to the chairs and sat down, looking around the office. I hadn’t texted him back, and he still had no idea what had happened to me Friday night. I was pretty sure, though, by the grin on his face, he had some sort of idea.

“I texted you all weekend,” he said.

“I know,” I replied, still typing. “I got busy with Sicily, and it slipped my mind.”

“So, are you going to tell me what happened on Friday night, or am I going to have to beg?” he asked with a chuckle. “I saw you with that girl for most of the night, and then poof, you disappeared. Both of you disappeared actually. Where did you go? I don’t usually lose you like that unless you’re preoccupied. I know you weren’t with that Missy chick. I saw her drunk at the end of the night.”

“No, I wasn’t with her,” I said, remembering my conversation with her. “I was at home with Emma.”

“Emma.” He smiled. “I like that name. So, what happened?”

“We had amazing conversation. She’s a spitfire with this heart of gold,” I said. “Then, we had sex. It was fucking amazing, by the way. She was like some sort of goddess in my bed, and when it was done, I watched her go out to get some water, still butt-naked.”

“That is fucking awesome, man,” Trevor said. “I’ve really been worried about you. You need to take this girl out again. I can tell by the look on your face that you really enjoyed your time with her. I knew you’d get over this whole thing with your ex eventually. It just takes time and the right woman to pull you out of it.”

“Yeah, well I’m not finished,” I said with a sigh, leaning back in my chair. “She went to get water, and I passed out. When I woke up the next morning, she was gone. There was no note, nothing. She just dipped out without a word. In fact, I don’t think she ever actually got back into the bed. I think she dipped out as soon as she realized I was asleep.”

“That’s weird,” Trevor said. “Did anything happen?”

“No,” I said. “Nothing happened. We connected on a personal and physical level, not just a physical one. We hadn’t argued, she didn’t see put off by anything, and she was in a really good mood when she went to get something to drink. I looked everywhere to see if she left her number, but there wasn’t anything.”

“What about with the front desk? Maybe she couldn’t find anything to write on,” Trevor said, pulling at straws.

“I checked,” I said. “Nothing left there either. There was a notepad on the counter. She had ample opportunity to leave me something, anything, but she didn’t.”

“Dude, you have to find her,” he said. “You have to contact the club and see if they have any information. Or find the place she said she worked. What does she do?”

“She’s a graphic artist,” I said. “In Maine.”

“Oh, damn,” Trevor said. “She doesn’t live here?”

“No, she’s from a small town in Maine called Camden,” I said. “I know that and her first name. That’s it. Besides, what is the point of searching her down? If she wanted me to find her, she would have left a note, let me know how, but she didn’t. She left nothing behind. All she did was dip out just like my ex-wife. All women are the same. I’ve been telling you this the whole time. She seemed like an amazing girl, someone I clicked with, but apparently, I repel the things I want, not attract them.”

“You can’t blame yourself for this,” Trevor said. “It’s obvious she had her issues. Maybe she has a husband and twelve kids at home or something.”

“I doubt it.” I chuckled. “Either way, I’ll never find out, so that’s the end of that.”

“Sorry, man,” Trevor said. “Hey, why don’t you come out for happy hour? I’ll buy you a drink, we can hate on women all night, and then you can feel better. Nothing cures a disappointment like whiskey and dumb bitches to talk about.”

“True.” I laughed. “But I am going to have to pass on this one. I want to spend some time with Sicily, actually put her to bed tonight. I don’t really feel like being around all of those people anyway. They just piss me off.”

“All right, man,” he said. “I’ve got to get to a conference call, but you know where I’ll be if you change your mind.”

“Appreciate it, brother.” I gripped his hand briefly before he left.

I went back to work, trying to get it off my mind, and finished up the paperwork that had been piling up since the week before. When I was done, I went down to the lab for a little while, knowing tinkering with my inventions always made me feel better. After a half an hour of not feeling better, though, I gave up and headed out of the office. My mom was at the apartment cooking dinner, and I didn’t want to be late. As the car drove me back, I caught myself checking every face on the street, wondering if I would see Emma. I didn’t know when she was leaving, and part of me wanted to confront her to find out what happened.

When we pulled up in front of the complex, I sighed, realizing it was stupid of me to think it would help having her tell me to my face that I wasn’t good enough. When I got upstairs, Sicily greeted me with a big hug and my mom smiled, setting the food down on the table. I washed up for dinner and joined them, listening to Sicily talk about the experiments they were doing in her science lab and how she got to see the Ebola virus under a microscope because the guest speaker from the EPA came by and did a presentation. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the Ebola virus, but I was glad she was enjoying school.

“All right,” I said, looking at Sicily. “Grandma and I will clean up dinner. You go jump in the shower and get ready for bed.”

“Okay,” she groaned, getting down from her chair and kissing me and my mom on the cheek.

I smiled as she ran away, grabbing her pajamas and heading to the hallway bathroom for a shower. I couldn’t believe how grown she was getting, and I could tell my mom was thinking the same thing. She sat back in her chair and looked at me with a knowing stare.

“What’s up?” she said. “You’re looking more dismal than normal.”

“Nothing,” I lied. “I’m just beat from the weekend and work today. There was a lot of catching up to do.”

“Did you meet anyone at the party you went to? Maybe a woman?”

“No,” I scoffed, still thinking about Emma.

“I know you don’t want to talk about this, but I do,” my mom said. “You need to open up a little, find a woman who can love you and Sicily. She’s getting older, and it’s the time where she’ll need a woman in her life.”

“That’s why I moved you here,” I said, smiling.

“She doesn’t need an old lady,” she scoffed. “She needs a mother figure or at the least a strong woman role model who can be her friend and confidante.”

“That sounds fantastic, Mom. Do you know where they grow women like that?”

She ignored my sarcasm. “I loved your father with everything in my soul. When he died, my entire world came to a screeching stop. You were already old enough that you didn’t need another figure in your life, and I knew there would never be another man for me. That was a hell of love story. I couldn’t even imagine living with anyone other than your father, and I still can’t. Josie, your ex, was not that kind of love for you. You still have the chance to be happy in life.”

“I know.”

“No, I don’t think you do,” she said. “There is love and then there is life-changing love. The kind of love that stops you in your tracks, fills your mind, and almost drives you crazy thinking about it. That was the kind of love your father and I had, and I still feel it every day of my life. I want you to find that kind of love, the kind that stops you in your tracks and forces you to rethink everything.”

“That would be great,” I said, shaking my head. “I just don’t know if I’ll ever find that.”

“Well, you better start looking, old man,” she said with a chuckle. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have got to get this old body into bed. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I watched as my mother walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind her. She only lived a few floors down, which I was glad of since that was part of the deal of moving her to New York City. I cleared the table and did the dishes, waiting for Sicily to get out of the shower. I tucked her into bed, kissed her goodnight, and then headed to my bedroom to relax. I lay for a long time staring up at the ceiling and thinking about what my mother said to me. She talked to me about the great love, the one I knew she had with my father, the one I thought I would have with Josie, but things didn’t turn out like I’d thought they would.

I was starting to think Emma might never get out of my mind, that I would spend an eternity with her laughter echoing through my head. It was a confusing feeling, not knowing what to think about a woman I barely knew who’d left without a word. I was conflicted because though I knew my thoughts were trying to push her out, my heart was keeping her there. I wanted her, but I didn’t, and it was driving me nuts. Emma might have been the love my mother was talking about, but I’d missed it. I’d let it slip right through my fingertips in a haze of whiskey and champagne. I turned on my side and stared at the clock, wondering what Emma was doing, curious to know if she was still thinking about me too. Probably not. I was probably a tiny whisper in her past, a fun guy on vacation, and if I wasn’t, I had no idea if I’d ever see her again.