“Hello?” I whispered angrily.

“Hey, Leo. It’s Kathy,” she frantically said.

“I know it’s fucking you, Kathy. But why the hell are you calling me in at eight in the morning?” I crawled out of my bed carefully, making sure not to wake Mallory who was spread across my bed in a giant X shape. God, she was even fucking gorgeous even when she slept.

I choked the door handle when I heard Kathy speak. “Your dad called me.”

“N-Nico called you?” I looked back at Mallory before I closed the door behind me. I headed to my living room where I knew Mallory couldn’t hear me.

“Kathy? What the fuck did he say?” I tried to control the panic in my voice.

“Nothing. That’s the thing. He said nothing. He called me last night —”

“He called last night and you didn’t tell me ‘til this morning?” I couldn't control the volume of my voice. I paced around the coffee table a few times till I decided to take a seat. My leg bounced up and down as I tried to control my breathing.

“I was on a date with Jamie and I forgot until I woke up this morning. But Leo, he wasn’t mad or anything. He just wanted to make sure we were coming to dinner on Tuesday.”

“Where did you tell him you were when he called?”

“I said I was out with friends and he didn't question it. We made some small talk about how much he loved me being your girlfriend and how you finally found the right girl. It was the same talk we’ve had a hundred times. He mostly called me to arrange the dinner for this Tuesday.”

Why the fuck didn't Nico call me? Was this because I failed his dumb ass test? There was no way he found out about Mallory. I would have been skinned alive if he did.

“Leo, maybe he wanted to hear my voice or maybe he wanted me to pick the dinner date instead of you. I don’t know. But maybe it's nothing to worry about.”

“Are you positive he didn’t say anything else? Nothing about a girl? Or about work?”

“A girl? No, why? Are you dating someone?”

“Edgar saw me with a girl in a coffee shop and told Nico. But I pulled it off like she was only my graphic designer?”

“So are you seeing her? Have you told her about me?”

“Yes, I’m seeing her. And no, I didn’t tell her about you and I’m going to keep it that way.”

Kathy didn’t say a word for about a minute.

“Kathy? You there?”

“Yea, I’m just thinking maybe we’re fine. I don’t think Nico meant any harm by calling me. He probably wanted me to pick the date this time instead of you.”

“Maybe you’re right,” I felt my stomach turn when I heard the words escape my lips.

“So, Tuesday the usual time,” Kathy spoke softly.

“Yea. Tuesday at seven. Bye.” I hung up the phone looking at Kathy’s number blinking on the screen.

I inhaled deeply when I heard a creak noise from behind me. I looked over so fast I thought my head would snap off. Mallory was standing in the hallway with her pajama shorts and old shirt on, peeking out the corner. Her eyebrows dropped and she showed me a small, puckered up frown.

Fuck! Please tell me she didn’t hear me?

“Mallory?”

She swallowed hard and turned around back to my room where I tried to follow her before she shut the door on me. I tried to jiggle the handle but she locked it. I felt every organ, bone, even fucking blood cell explode like a ticking time bomb when I realized what she might have heard.

Yes, I’m seeing her. And no, I didn’t tell her about you and I’m going to keep it that way.

“Mallory, please it’s not what you think.” I gripped the doorknob hopelessly waiting for her to answer, but she said nothing. She was silent as I heard her shoveling through her overnight bag and getting ready to leave.

“Mallory, please let me explain,” I said in a soft voice as I dropped my forehead on the door. The wooden door felt cold against my burning head as I thought of a way to explain Kathy without telling her too much about my past.

She swung the door open and looked straight at the ground. She was dressed in her jacket, a baggy black shirt and skinny jeans while her hair was still a perfect mess. She let me pick up her chin, but she didn’t look at me she looked inside my bathroom.

“You took the nudes in her bathroom, didn't you?” she sighed heavily and looked up at me. Her eyes cold and lifeless, nothing like they ever were before. “We aren’t exclusive. We aren't friends. We are just two players in a game and that’s all. So it doesn’t matter who Kathy is.” Her voice was emotionless even though I knew that wasn't how she felt. She did care who Kathy was.

I tried to take Mallory’s hand but she pulled away. I saw the pain in her eyes grow with each second I said nothing. My heart cracked with each second her eyes grew darker and darker.

I swallowed hard. “Kathy is just a woman I hired to be my girlfriend. There is nothing between us. I promise.”

Mallory’s eyes popped open as she took a step back. “A fake girlfriend? Why?”

“Like I said, there are somethings about me that are complicated and all you have to know is that there is nothing between Kathy and me. She’s just helping me get something I need.”

“The flower shop? You said yesterday ‘… when I get it,’” she quoted me. “You were referring to the flower shop, weren't you?”

I nodded while Mallory took a deep breath and bit her lip hard before she said anything else.

“I don’t know your life. I don’t know your past. And I can't find shit about you online, but worst of all, you don’t want to talk to me. You expect me to believe you over and over again, saying ‘it’s complicated’ like everything will be all right. But it’s not all right, Leo.” Her voice was shaky and her eyes red. “I like you, Leo. I care about you a lot. But you won’t even talk to me.”

Mallory moved past me like I was a ghost and headed toward the end of the hallway.

“I’ll talk. Just don't go,” I lied. I grabbed her wrist gently like it was the last time I was ever going to see her again.

“Even if we did talk right now, I still want time alone. We can talk in a few days. I just want to be alone right now and not with you,” she pulled her arm away and headed toward the back door.

“Don’t,” I said softly. My heart cracked with each step I took closer to her as she walked toward the kitchen.

“Please, don't Leo.” Mallory slipped on both of her shoes.

“Stay.” I hugged her from behind and took her in, smelling her new scent that was a mixture of us both as I felt her body against mine like it was the first time. I needed her to stay. “I care about you too, but I don’t want to talk about my past.”

She said nothing.

“What if I did something that’s unforgivable? Something that will make you change the way you see me.”

“Try me,” her voice almost silent.

My hug became tighter, but I still couldn't tell her about my mom’s death or about the drugs or drinking. I didn’t want her to think of me that way.

“Please, just stay.” I tried to plead one more time, begging her to not explain myself.

“I’ll talk to you later, Leo,” she sighed, but I knew that was a lie.

I released her from my hug and went over to my wallet to grab the pink sheet. She watched me with hope in her eyes waiting for me to change my mind, but I wasn't going to. I handed her the pink sheet, but she just looked at it like it was a poison apple.

“Take it. You can still see the words under the Sharpie so you can … so you can finish your game,” the words sliced my throat on the way out.

She hesitated but grabbed it, putting it in the same pocket I stole it from on the day we met. Neither she nor I said anything when she left, but I followed her to the front of my living room to watch her get into her car, eyes filled with tears, and drive off.

I went back to my room and lay in my bed smelling where Mallory slept and felt my heart turn inside out while also being set on fire, by me.

She would have left even if I told her the truth, I told myself.