July 13
When I was a little kid, I was known as Jackie. My mom practically wore that name out, calling to me from the front porch in her shrill voice: Jackie, come eat your dinner! Do you have bug spray on, Jackie? The black flies are bad! Come sweep the garage before your dad gets home, Jackie!
A lot of the time, it would be stuff I needed to do for Dad. Always had to keep the old man happy. I did, when I was a kid—it was my brother who was always pissing him off by dicking around. Ironic how things changed.
I wonder what Mom would think, if she were still alive. I wonder if she’d understand my decisions, be proud of me.
Annnd there’s the tight throat, which is my cue that I need to return to safer thoughts, especially since I’m headed to Madeline’s for my first day on the job.
Where was I? Oh yes...nicknames.
So it was Jackie when I was young, and in school right up until my sophomore year, it was just Jack, or sometimes big Jack. Then one day during football practice, one of the defensive backs gave me a name that stuck with me through college in my circle of friends: Big Deck.
Just a reminder that my last name is Decker, in case your mind was going elsewhere.
I’ve got to say, that nickname fits. I mean, when you’re 6’5”, 234 pounds...the word “big” is kind of a given, right?
I know what you’re wondering. Does the name also fit, uh, in other ways?
Yes. Yes, it does.
Even before I really knew how to use my cock, it became evident I had something out of the ordinary down there. Other guys would tease me about it in the locker room—somewhere between admiration and jealousy—and after I did a little research, I learned that the average male penis is 3.5 inches when flaccid, 5.1 inches when erect. My first thought was, seriously, that’s it? My second thought was, poor bastards!
My first girlfriend in high school was hornier than I was. She’d been with quite a few guys before me, and I was fine with that, because she was more daring and into experimenting compared to other girls her age. The first time we had sex was the first time I knew for sure that my dick was kind of legendary. We were making out hot and heavy down in her basement on our second date, and I was just about to whisper how much I wanted to fuck her when she started unzipping my pants. I had a hard-on so huge it was painful. We both tugged at my jeans, pulling them down, and the anaconda was released, popping out fully erect, like a fleshy exclamation point. All I wanted to do right then was put it inside her, but she stopped in her tracks and just stared, her eyes as big as hubcaps. After a few seconds, she caught her breath and said in this hushed voice, “Holy fuck, that thing is huge.”
“Thanks?” I answered, kind of awkwardly, because it wasn’t like I had anything to do with creating it. I watched her expression go from incredulous to scared shitless, like oh my fucking God, how is that going to fit inside me?
Spoiler alert: it did. Many times.
Since then, the python has explored many a cave—too many to count. I’ve been with enough women to know that size does matter. They want big bathrooms, big bank accounts, big cocks. I thought it was interesting when I heard that women valued larger-than-average penises in one-night stands. This meshes perfectly with how I roll: long on dick, short on time.
Speaking of time...it’s 6:50 a.m., and I’m just pulling into Madeline Callaway’s driveway. I’m surprised to see her out front since it’s so early. She’s leaning over a rosebush with a basket on her arm, clipping some of the bright pink flowers. She has her hair in a neat bun—no loose strands this time—and she’s wearing mid-length plaid shorts and a sleeveless blouse with a high neckline. I can’t help but wonder if she’s looking more conservative on purpose, to give me the impression that she’s not to be seen as a sex object.
Sorry, Ms. Callaway—I’m not buying it.
She turns as I climb out of the truck, cinching the tool belt around my waist. “You’re early.” Her face immediately colors. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean that to sound like a criticism.”
Love it. She’s already adorably flustered, and I just got here. “I didn’t take it that way. I am a little early. One of my flaws is being overly-punctual.”
“Oh, I don’t think it’s a flaw! It’s like the opposite of a flaw. It’s—it’s—I can’t think of the word.”
She’s about as pink as the roses in her basket. I’m trying like hell to hide my smile. “No worries. I get what you’re saying. I’m flawless.”
Madeline’s lips curve into a frown as she crosses her arms over her chest. “I didn’t—” and then she’s laughing softly and shaking her head, looking at me like she can’t believe I’m for real, and man, I’ve never felt this strong of an urge to hug a woman.
“So...good morning,” I say, going to the back of my truck and opening the tailgate. “Are you all set for me to start in the bathroom, or do you need to get ready for work?”
“I’m on vacation this week.”
“Oh...nice.”
“I won’t get in your way.”
“What if I want you to?”
She looks at me, startled, her deep brown eyes searching mine to see if I’m kidding. I’m not.
“Are you this direct with all your female clients?”
“Only the ones I’m attracted to.”
“What if I’m offended by it?”
“Madeline…” I come around the side of my truck to stand in front of her. She’s holding the basket in front of her chest, like she needs the protection. She is looking at me steadily, trying to act like she isn’t keyed up, but the rise and fall of her perfect breasts under her blouse is a dead giveaway. “I would never be talking to you like this if I thought you were offended. Like I said before, I read women well. And from the first couple chapters of your biography, I’ve learned that you’re not only hoping I’ll make love to you…you’re counting on it.”
Her jaw drops open. I’ve rattled her, and I won’t let her know this, but I’m a little shaken up myself. There’s that feeling again, surging through me, of wanting to take her in my arms. Which is competing with some X-rated thoughts of what else I want to do to her.
She has absolutely no idea what to say, and that’s fine, because I want my words to caress her thoughts like my hands are going to stroke her body.
“So I’m going to head upstairs and get the demolition process under way. I’m looking forward to this project. And getting to know you better.” I flash her a smile as I take my cordless screwdriver and tool bag and go into the house.
Fuck, I want to kiss her. And I will. Today.