Cas
The sky is grey, and a storm is on its way. It wouldn’t surprise me if it poured down while we gather around Oak’s grave. It’s been four days since the bloodbath in the club basement and it’s time to say a proper goodbye to our brother without the threat of someone shooting at us as we mourn.
This time, I don’t have stand by and watch Alannah mourn from afar, I hold her beside me as does my brothers with their old ladies.
“This is how it should’ve been the first time around,” Slade says.
“I reckon Oak would’ve liked the show, bearing in mind no one died,” Sparky adds.
Alannah, holding Oak’s glass from the bar and a bottle of whiskey untucks herself from under my arm and places the glass in the middle of his grave. She opens the bottle and pours the contents in until the glass is over flowing down into the dirt.
“The finest whiskey for the finest man. Rest in peace, Uncle Oak,” she softly says and places the bottle at the end of the grave.
She comes back to my side and I pull her back under my arm and press a gentle kiss on her hair.
Ricky and Pope come forward together and at the same time they each pour a bottle of Oak’s favourite over the dirt. Slade adds his bottle and by the time every brother has stepped forward, the grave is saturated with whiskey. It’s the only send-off fitting to one of the greatest men I’ve ever known. He was the one who put his faith in me and gave me the life I have now. He put his faith in me to make Alannah happy for the rest of her life and he had faith in me to keep the club strong and together. He’s the closest I’ve had to having a father and I would’ve been proud to be his son.
Keeping Alannah by my side, I raise my bottle and take a long swig before pouring the rest out and placing the bottle by the glass.
“Goodbye, old friend. We will miss you ya old fucker.”
“We’ll never forget,” Alannah adds.
“And we’ll never forgive,” Sparky vows.
Dex stands alone, I wondered if he would bring Melissa and I hoped he wouldn’t out of respect for Oak, no matter her part in bringing her brother down, she was still blood related to his killer. I’ve faced the Raging Riders over the years and survived, we were made stronger by Michael’s betrayal and yet again, we’ve eliminated the threat to us at the cost of Oak’s life. There’s nothing holding us back and if I learn anything from losing my brother, it will be, I won’t lose another. From now on, nothing will get past me. I swore to protect the club and that’s what I’m going to do.
Alannah rests her head against my chest and I look up to see everyone leaving. She starts to move and I hold her back.
Sparky makes it to his bike, hand in hand with Bonnie and notices we’re not with him. I nod my head telling him to go.
“You should be riding up front,” she says.
“Sparky can lead, I have something to show you.”
Thunder rumbles low in the distance and I walk us around to her parent’s plots. In between their headstones is a flat stone with one word written on it, Luna. She looks up at me questioningly and I smile.
“I know we didn’t know if she was a he or a she, but she was a she to me. She was going to be our Luna and now she’s with her grandparents until our time comes and we join her.”
She hasn’t spoke of the miscarriage in the last couple of days and she hasn’t shed a tear since that first night. Tears stain her face now, but she doesn’t sob or make or sound. She’s smiling as she takes it in.
“Cas, this is so thoughtful. Thank you.”
“No thanks needed, she was mine too and I want her to be acknowledged.”
Today is a celebration of life and tonight we’ll celebrate Ricky and Kyla’s engagement. A new beginning for them and for the club.
“It almost feels like old times,” Sparky points out, taking the stool one over from mine.
Oak’s stool sits empty between us. The music is blaring out of the speakers and voices have to be raised to be heard.
The prospects have their work cut out trying to keep up with orders behind the bar and I’ve heard more laughing tonight than I ever have. Life is moving forward and it amazes me how the world keeps going. The club has been on pause for so long, brothers are taking advantage of the freedom and need to let loose.
“If you could start over, go back to the beginning and put on the prospect cut, would you?” I ask him.
“When I think of who we’ve lost, I would. Then I think of Bon and JJ and the lives we have now and I wouldn’t. Would you?”
I drain my beer and slam the bottle on the bar.
“Don’t listen to me, I’m feeling like a sentimental sucker.”
The truth is, I wouldn’t go back, I wouldn’t have Alannah or my son and I wouldn’t trade them for anyone. When I think back to my prospecting days, I think about how I gained a family, but then I think about how I took a man's life for the sake of claiming of a patch. It's better not to think about them at all. It was because of Oak I was given a chance in life, but it's been because of me that I'm still alive and breathing today.
“I didn’t think you had it in you,” he laughs and slides me another beer.
“You won’t see it again,” I smirk and slip off the stool.
I put my fingers to my mouth and let out an ear-splitting whistle. The music is turned down and conversations are put on pause.
“First I’d like to say how fuckin’ good it is to see everyone having a good night. It’s been too long and tonight we are celebrating Ricky and Kyla’s engagement. We wish you all the fuckin’ best, so do as you’re told Rick and you’ll be happy together for many years,” I laugh, raising my beer.
I’ve said my piece and everyone turns to Pope. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat and pales.
“What?” he grunts, frowning.
“You’re father of the bride to be, you should say a few words,” Sparky calls out.
“I fuckin’ shouldn’t,” he growls.
“Oh, come on,” Sparky goads him.
He stands and looks as uncomfortable as fuck.
“Kyla knows I’m happy for her, Rick knows I’ll shoot his balls off if he hurts her. Congratulations,” he spins off quickly and sits back down.
“Is that it?” Sparky continues to goad him.
“More,” someone else yells until Pope pulls out his gun and leaves it on the table beside him. Brothers get the message and leave him alone.
Laughing, I turn my back on everyone and Sparky is standing before me.
"I've known you for hell of a long time now and I know when you're not right with yourself. We lost Oak and it hurts my fuckin' heart every second of every day, but we sought revenge and we did him proud. We've got through shit before and we will this time. Don’t turn into a pussy now, brother, cause I can still kick your ass and I will."
"Please," I snort, "You wanna go with me, we'll go," I grin, and pull him in for a hug.
"As long as I have you as my VP, I'm all good...the club is all good."
"Brothers, forever."
"Always."
We step back and he holds out his fist, I fist bump him and he walks off in search of Bonnie.
Each time I go to find Alannah, a brother gets in my way and dealing with them drunk, it takes a while to get rid of them. I haven’t seen her much tonight but when I have she’s been sitting on the couches.
Arms slip around my waist from behind and a peace settles over me. I turn my back on the conversation with Dex and Slade and lean down for a kiss.
“I’ve been trying to get to you all night.”
“Why don’t we go and get Leo and go home. No one will miss us, they’re all too drunk to notice anything.”
“Sounds good, babe. Meet me at your car in ten.”
She slips into the crowd not wasting a second and I lap up the noise of the party one last time before seeking Pope out. He's been sitting in the same chair all night and he pushes out the chair next to him for me. I fall into it and take the weight off.
"I'm heading out in a few, I wanted to check in before I left."
"I'm doing good, I'm thinking of heading out soon myself. It's Ricky's job to look out for her now," he says, nodding over at Kyla.
"I never would've thought you'd be this relaxed with your daughter getting married," I laugh.
He cocks an eyebrow and sighs.
"One day I'm sure you'll have a daughter and you'll think that no one will be good enough for her, that you'll rip out any cunts throat that dare to go near her. You'll feel a level of violence you didn’t know you possessed and it will make you feel that she is safe. But then, she falls in love, or she thinks she does and you just know that he is a no good punk."
"What happens when he isn't?"
A small smile creeps along his mouth and his eyes glisten with pride.
"You make sure he understands what will happen if he breaks her heart, but you don’t feel the need to kill him, you can sense he will lay down his life to protect her and treat her well. As a father, that's all you want."
I wonder if I would ever accept a man into Luna's life if she had been born, maybe, maybe not. We'll never know now but we might in the future with another daughter. If she has the look of her mother, I'll no doubt be tested many, many times.