Chapter Eighteen

LOGAN

I lay there, watching Emily, her brown hair spread out on the bed. Her eyes were half closed, and her breathing light as she rested in the crook of my arm. Every once in a while, she’d shift position or nuzzle her cheek on my arm, murmuring quietly. It’d be adorable if I couldn’t see the swell of her heavy breasts.

I was already hard again and had to the resist the urge to take the soft mounds into my hands and start kneading or to roll her over and start fucking her again.

Several deep breaths followed. I’d no idea what the hell had just happened, other than it was damn good. Great. More than I’d ever imagined when I laid awake at night thinking of her.

What did it mean though? Emily had a whole night and morning to sleep off the alcohol, so there was no way we could push this off as another drunken mistake.

This was the spectacular proof of what I’d believed for a while now. We had chemistry, real chemistry, and that chemistry had led to a connection. The only question was whether she’d regret it for the same reason we had no excuses for what happened other than mutual attraction. There would be no alcohol to blame, no explanation other than good old-fashioned lust.

My only regret was that I hadn’t slept with her earlier. I prayed she felt the same, but I was confident after the intimacy we’d shared.

Emily stirred, her hazel eyes fully opening. I smiled at her, but she didn’t look up. She stared past me, a distant look in her eyes. She wasn’t frowning, but she wasn’t smiling either.

My stomach clenched. This was not what I’d wanted to see after a hot, sticky round of sex. Something was obviously wrong. Regret, probably. Damn.

I figured ignoring it was the best plan for the moment. Emily obviously had a few issues to work through, and it wasn’t like she could hop in a cab back to Nashville. I had plenty of time to figure out how to handle her.

In the meantime, it was best to keep things light and breezy.

“Maybe we should go get some lunch,” I said. “Or we can order in.”

“No, let’s go out,” Emily said, sounding a little too eager. “Or at least to the restaurant on the first floor.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I just need to get out of this room for a while. It’s a nice room, but it’s still a hotel room.”

I nodded slowly, trying to keep a frown off my face. “Okay, let’s hit the first floor then.”

Emily pulled away from me and stood. “I need to take a shower. I smell like sex. I’d forgotten the smell.” She laughed awkwardly.

I chuckled, wondering if I could convince her to let me join her in the shower for a little wet fun.

She hurried toward the bathroom and closed the door, making it obvious she wanted to be alone.

I grunted, shook my head, and stood. I walked over to my room, so I could take my own shower. She was right. We did smell like sex.

Shaking my head, I stepped into the shower.

The questions swirled in my mind. Did I not cuddle her enough? Did I say the wrong thing?

I refused to believe Emily regretted what we’d done, but the evidence was pointing the other way. I just couldn’t understand her possible reasons.

As the first streams of water hit me, I whispered, “What’s going on in your mind, Emily?”

 

* * *

 

Emily barely talked for the next half-hour. I stared at her as I worked on my miso soup. She kept her eyes focused on her own bowl, only occasionally glancing up at me or her teacup.

She didn’t order any alcohol, and I made a point of not doing the same. I wasn’t worried about my judgment, just her perception.

Maybe Emily still somehow thought alcohol forced us together, and I wanted her to accept and remember that we’d both been stone sober when we’d slept together.

“So, you said you were almost done with your deal,” Emily said after a spoonful of soup.

I smiled, grateful that she was talking again. “Yes, but not sure. These things can always change at the last moment.”

“So, you’re not sure if you can go around on Thursday and Friday with me?”

“Not sure yet. I can send the driver around with you if you want. He speaks English. Not exactly a professional interpreter for business deals, but I’m sure he can help you out enough at a store.”

Emily looked at me for a second before dropping her gaze again. “That should work. Juniper and Mama would kill me if I came all this way and didn’t take some pictures and buy some souvenirs.” She shrugged a single shoulder. “I also wanted to see some temples and museums. Though I guess I’ll have to pick maybe one thing and then go shopping.”

I chuckled, hoping to lighten the mood. “Yeah. Tokyo isn’t a city you can rush through. We’ll have to come back soon, so you can experience more of it. I’ve still not even seen most of the tourist traps.”

Emily wrapped a strand of her brown hair around one of her fingers. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

She still wasn’t looking directly at me.

No. I wasn’t going to do this again. I wasn’t going to run away from this beautiful woman. Especially after the steamy sex we’d just shared.

“What’s wrong?” I said.

Emily’s head shot up. Her eyes widened. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“You’re sinking into yourself.” I shook my head. “I don’t get it. We shared something great. Something we both wanted. You weren’t drunk. I wasn’t drunk. It was the middle of the day.”

She sighed.

“I don’t know if talking about whatever is bothering you will help, but I guarantee not talking at all isn’t going to help.”

Emily groaned and rubbed her temples. “I’m just not… You have to understand.”

I leaned back in my chair. “Explain it to me so I can understand.”

“I liked what we did, liked it a lot.” Her cheeks reddened. “Don’t want to talk it up too much because I don’t want to let it go to your head. But it was good, and it felt great.” She averted her eyes.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t love hearing that. There’s no man out there who doesn’t want to hear how great he is in bed. But that still didn’t answer my question.

“What’s the problem then?”

“I want to be clear about what this is and isn’t.” She stared right at me, her hazel eyes unusually intense. “I don’t want you to think this is the start of a relationship. When I thought about it, I realized I am attracted to you, but I’m not ready for anything more. Maybe I won’t ever be. That’s not fair to you, but I wanted to be clear.”

I gave her a small nod. My hands tightened into fists in my lap. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“I regret nothing,” I said, wanting to make my own position clear. “And I meant everything I said.”

Emily managed a wistful smile. “I guess I’m thinking of this as a what happens in Tokyo, stays in Tokyo kind of thing. We can have some fun, spend time together, but nothing more serious, and it doesn’t go with us to America.”

I watched her for a few seconds as I thought about what she said. I could work with this. If she didn’t want to commit to anything more at that moment, I didn’t feel the need to make her feel trapped.

“I’m fine with that,” I said. “Depending on what happens with my business deal, I might have days to spend with you or maybe just the nights.” I shrugged. “I’ll take what I can get for the trip.”

“I’m not saying we won’t…” She glanced over and then whispered the rest. “Not saying we won’t sleep together again, but I think it’d be best if we don’t do anything for a day or so.” She blushed. “I’m still sore anyway.”

The bit of levity pushed away my irritation. “Well, I hope I can help you leave Tokyo with at least one more good memory.”

Her eyes widened, and she took a deep breath, her lips parted slightly. “I’m sure you can.” The words came out breathy.

Our new relationship had to live and die over a few days in Tokyo. Not what I’d planned when I’d invited Emily on the trip to begin with, but it was more than I’d expected.

Sometimes, you had to take the offer in front of you to close the deal.