Chapter Thirty-six

LOGAN

By Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my living room sipping on some coffee and going through some work emails on my phone. In theory, I worked Monday through Friday, but the world didn’t stop because I left the office, so I spent a lot of time reading and writing emails and texts even on the weekends.

Silence reigned in the house. The boys were asleep in another room, and Arla wasn’t there, as I’d given her the day off. I wasn’t so helpless that I couldn’t survive a couple of days without her.

Still, it was hard to sit there by myself. Even with my work to distract me, it was hard for my mind not to drift to other topics, such as a certain brown-haired woman and her rambunctious daughter.

When I’d talked to her lawyer the other day, he seemed downright delighted at the information I’d passed along. I wasn’t sure how much help it’d be or not, as it wasn’t like I had a bunch of evidence to back it up. I figured, though, the truth would be enough to unnerve Lionel.

I still had no idea if that information had actually helped Emily. She still hadn’t responded to my previous text, so I didn’t bother trying to contact her again.

I also resisted the urge to contact my mother or Sally. Our mothers might have set us up, but our relationship needed to live or die by our own actions. The last thing I needed at this critical point was an overbearing mother pushing away any chance of us getting back together.

It was hard to know what to do. There was no reason we couldn’t be together.

I understood that Emily pushed me away because of Lionel’s threat, but I also wondered if she thought there was nothing there in our relationship to save.

I tapped over to my contacts list on my phone, my finger hovering over her name, hesitating.

The question of whether I should call Emily hung in my mind. I wanted to contact her, wanted to help her understand that I was only angry at Lionel and not her. I wasn’t sure if she thought I was mad at her or not, but it might explain why she hadn’t contacted me.

Another part of me fought against calling her. If I called her and she turned me down again, that would mark the end of any relationship. It’d be time for me to move on, or at least go back to what I had before. In other words, go back to having nothing and no one.

What were we together? I really didn’t know. Lovers? Friends with benefits? Friends with temporary benefits?

I knew I loved Emily. I had no doubt of that. That hadn’t changed because she pushed me away. It wasn’t her fault.

What she wanted from me remained unclear. No matter how much I wanted to blame Lionel, the truth was that even before he’d threatened her, we’d never clarified what our relationship was.

I sighed and tossed my phone on a nearby table. No. I’d reached out to her, and I’d passed along my information to help her case. I’d done everything I could to show Emily how I felt. If she wanted more, she’d call me.

After standing, I made my way to my front door. A little walk around the neighborhood might clear my head. If that didn’t work, maybe I’d go for a drive.

I spotted Joe and Dean sleeping in the foyer. I chuckled, having not known before where they’d ended up. I didn’t bother to wake them. It’d be hard to clear my head if I was trying to concentrate on entertaining the boys.

My hand was just about to grab the door handle when my doorbell chimed. The boys both hopped up from their sleep. They took a few steps back and barked at the door.

I stared at the door handle and then shook my head. We didn’t get solicitors in this neighborhood. At least I’d never seen one. Who the heck had shown up at my front door?

I opened the door. My heart kicked up, and my eyes widened.

Emily was standing on my porch. Juniper was standing beside her, bouncing up and down and waving.

Before I could even say anything, the little girl rushed over to wrap her arms around my legs. I leaned over to hug her back and then patted her on the head.

Joe and Dean barked. She squealed and let go of my legs. She hurried over to hug the dogs. The boys barked, their tails wagging furiously.

“Why don’t you take them out back and help them run around for a bit?” I said. “They could use the exercise.”

Juniper let go of the dogs and rushed toward the back door. The black labs chased after her. The sounds of happy barking and laughter grew distant as the trio headed toward the back.

The girl’s departure left me alone with Emily. We stood there on my porch, staring at each other, neither of us saying a word.

There were so many things I wanted to say swirling in my mind, but I couldn’t push anything out. I wasn’t sure how to even begin.

“We should go to the kitchen so we can watch Juniper,” Emily said softly. “Just in case.”

“Sure,” I said, gesturing inside. “That’s a good idea.”

We made our way to the kitchen in silence through the foyer, the living room, the dining room, and finally the kitchen. We both took a seat at the kitchen table.

We watched Juniper through the glass back door. She ran around with the dogs, pure joy on her face. The dogs looked to be having a great time as well.

The sight washed away some of my discomfort. The innocence and happiness of a little girl playing with two happy dogs was the opposite of all the suffering and pain that we’d dealt with because of one self-centered man. Damn Lionel.

“So, uh,” I managed to say, “I understand you went to see your lawyer yesterday.”

“I’ll have temporary full custody by Monday,” she said, still watching Juniper. “Just need a judge to sign off on it, but Lionel’s already signed, and even his lawyer made it clear to him he doesn’t have much of a case.”

I glanced out the window at Juniper. She threw a stick and then laughed and clapped her hands as the dogs rushed for it, each trying to get to it first.

“Then he can’t control you anymore,” I said quietly. “It’s over.”

Emily gave me a shallow nod. “Yesterday was the big showdown. I had all sorts of evidence that I hadn’t used before, including pictures that proved he’d been using cocaine.”

I opened my mouth to ask about that but stopped at her raised hand.

“I know it was stupid not to do it before.” Emily sighed. “I thought I was doing what was best for Juniper. Maybe that was wrong, but it is what it is.” She tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear and stared at me with those beautiful hazel eyes. “What surprised me more was that my lawyer received a bunch of last minute information about Lionel’s finances and his girlfriend.”

“I asked around,” I said with a shrug. “I didn’t know what else to do. Once I found out about Lionel threatening to take Juniper, I figured your lawyer needed to know what I’d heard.”

Emily looked down at the table. “I didn’t know about his girlfriend or the insider trading or fraud when I set up the meeting. I hoped using the pictures and other evidence would be enough. Once George started talking about that stuff, everything Lionel had been doing lately made sense.” She let out a long sigh. “But it’s over now.” She looked up at me. “If you know about my case, then I guess Mama must have told you or your mother. Do you know about some of the other things?”

“I know how you brought the money to the marriage, if that’s what you’re getting at, and how Lionel probably wanted it.”

Emily let out a quiet chuckle. “I never thought it’d be a problem. I believed in love, and that I loved him.” She shook her head. “But I was an idiot. I don’t know now if he ever really loved me. I was naïve.”

“And now?”

Emily furrowed her brow. “What about now?”

I glanced to the side for a moment before returning my attention to her. “It hurt when you drove me away. Almost destroyed me. I’ve never been married. Plenty of relationships, but none where I really cared that much.”

Emily closed her eyes and shook her head. “I know it hurt, Logan. I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. I panicked, and I thought he’d be able to take Juniper from me. All I can do is apologize.”

“I’m not mad about that, Emily.” I kept my voice very calm as I spoke. “I understand why you had to do what you did. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m less interested in the past as in the future.”

“What do you mean?”

I took a deep breath. Did I want to risk the beginning of the end? Yes, because the only way I could push beyond this strange quasi-relationship was to risk everything.

“I need to know what we are. What we are doing?” I shook my head. “I know what you said in Japan, but after Juniper got sick, everything changed. Or at least I thought it did. Lionel screwed everything up, but he’s out of the picture.”

Emily stared at me, silent for a long while before finally speaking. “I don’t know what we are.”

“I know some things.” I reached over and took her hand in mine. “I know I love you, and I’m tired of hiding or pretending otherwise. After everything you’ve been through, I know you need a man who respects you.”

Emily bit her lip, her eyes wide. “I’m not sure about anything, but I don’t want to push you away. Can’t we just continue doing what we have been doing?”

I nodded slowly and offered her a smile. Now the truth was out there. I wasn’t sure if she loved me yet, but she wasn’t running away screaming either.

“Stay for dinner,” I said. “That’s not too much.”

“We can do that.”

Hell, I wanted her to stay forever, but that would probably be a bit too much.

After realizing I didn’t exactly have food for three, including a little girl, I added, “Is cheese pizza okay? I can order some.”

Emily laughed. “I don’t think Juniper’s going to complain.”

We both looked out as Juniper ran in circles, her arms in the air, the dogs barking and chasing after her.

Glancing between mother and daughter, I knew then that everything was going to be all right.