Chapter Twenty-two

LOGAN

Sunday night, on the final leg of our flight, Emily was gripping my hand so tightly, her knuckles turned white.

I couldn’t blame her, even if I wasn’t as concerned. The wind shear and turbulence had been terrible the final ten minutes. Lightning flashed in the distance. Our good day of travel had turned uncomfortable at the last stretch, but I figured if we could at least get on the ground, that would help her calm down.

The plane lurched as we hit another pocket of turbulence. I’d traveled enough to know that what felt like some epic drop was usually only a few feet and that it had no real effect on the control of the plane.

“It’ll be okay,” I said. “We’re almost there. Just a few more minutes.”

Emily nodded quickly, her lips pressed tightly together.

I glanced out the window. The pouring rain and dark clouds made it impossible to see anything. Maybe if Emily could have actually seen something, it would have made her feel better. I was confident in the skill of my pilot, but I figured telling her that wouldn’t do much to quell the visceral fear afflicting her. It’s not like she’d flown with the guy dozens of times.

The plane jerked, and Emily yelped. She managed to grip my hand even harder, which impressed me.

About thirty seconds later, I spotted flickering lights in the windows. We’d dropped below the clouds, but the heavy rainfall was still making it hard to see.

“Almost there,” I repeated.

I could spot the bright white lights on the edge of the runway now. I smiled at Emily. “Too bad we weren’t asleep for this part.”

She offered a pained chuckle. “Yeah, too bad.”

The plane lowered and then bounced as the landing gears made contact with the runway. A few seconds later, it hit the ground again. The deceleration kicked in, pushing us against our seats.

We both let out a long breath. I hadn’t even realized I was holding mine.

“Welcome back to Nashville,” my pilot announced over the intercom.

 

* * *

 

The rain splattered against the limo, its constant patter soothing in a strange way.

I didn’t envy my chauffeur as he navigated through the pouring rain on the way to Lionel’s house. Emily had already called ahead to tell her ex to get Juniper ready, and from what she told me, it wouldn’t be a big issue, as he tended to be eager to unload his daughter after she spent more than a few days with him.

Emily stared through the window. At what, I wasn’t sure. There was nothing really to see but rain and the occasional car.

“You excited?” I said.

She glanced over at me. “Excited?”

“About seeing your daughter again.”

A soft smile appeared on her face. “Yes. I did miss her. She would have loved Japan.”

“I imagine she would have.” I thought about saying something about bringing her next time but decided against it.

Emily frowned slightly and then looked back out the window. I was curious why she frowned. She’d been so quiet since landing, it was maddening. But we also had a very long flight, and neither of us got as much sleep as we would have liked. It can be hard when you’re traveling internationally to get your body back on track.

After a few minutes, Emily broke her silence. “I meant what I said.”

“Huh?” I looked over at her, trying to read her face, but her expression was distant and neutral.

“About Tokyo just being about good memories and things staying there.” She shrugged. “Maybe I should have said something on the plane, but I wanted to make that clear now.”

I nodded. “I understand.”

“I still want to be friends with you, but I just wanted a break.” She sighed.

I waved a hand. “Don’t overthink it. We’re both adults. Just think of it as a ‘friends with temporary benefits’ thing.”

Emily burst out laughing. The smile on her face warmed my heart.

“Friends with temporary benefits?” she said.

“Yes. That’s the best way I can think to describe things.”

“Okay, then,” she said, still smiling. The limo pulled up to her house. “Don’t make him get wet.” She pointed toward the chauffeur through the divider. “Please.”

I pressed the intercom button. “Just pop the trunk. You don’t need to get out.”

“Are you sure, sir?” he replied.

“Yes.”

Juniper was already waiting on the porch, her small pink rolling suitcase beside her. She waved both arms as Emily opened the door.

She sprinted through the sheets of rain to her daughter, grabbing her suitcase with one hand and her daughter’s hand with another.

My heart did a little flip at the sight.

“Calm down, damn you,” I whispered.

I don’t know why I even bothered. It’s not like my heart was going to listen.

Mother and daughter rushed toward the limo.

The front door opened, and Lionel stepped out. He was too far away to make out his expression, but I could only imagine what he thought seeing his wife and daughter rushing to a limousine. He had to know it was mine.

The thought filled me with more than a little satisfaction. The cheating bastard. Truly, a pearls before swine situation between Emily and him.

I hopped out of the car and rushed around the back to grab Juniper’s suitcase and put it in the trunk before closing it. Soon, all three of us were safely ensconced in my limousine.

I pressed the intercom button again. “Please take me back to Emily’s house.”

“Yes, sir.”

Juniper snuggled up against her mother. “Mama, I’m so happy you’re back.”

Emily squeezed her daughter, her face lit up with joy. “I’m glad to be back, my little sweet pea.” She kissed her on the forehead. “Did you have a good time?”

“We played some games and went out to ice cream a lot. Daddy’s new girlfriend doesn’t eat ice cream though. She’s mean to milk.”

“What?” Emily said.

“They told me in school that intolerant means being mean. Daddy’s new girlfriend said she was lactose intolerant, and Daddy says lactose is from milk.”

I managed not to burst out laughing. Emily chuckled and ruffled her daughter’s hair.

Juniper pulled away from her mother to surprise me with a tight hug. I hugged her back.

She deposited herself between the two of us and then shook her finger at me. “Next time, I go.”

“Sure, Juniper. Whatever you want.”

Emily laughed softly.

The next few minutes, Juniper regaled us with a detailed rundown of the various types of fast food and ice cream she’d eaten while we were away and her progress on various LEGO sets. The attention to detail was outstanding, even more so since she seemed to like working on multiple projects.

The car finally pulled up to their house. I again told my chauffeur to pop the trunk and stay inside.

“You and Juniper make a run for it,” I said to Emily. “I’ll get your bags.”

“No, I can’t—”

“Yes, you can. I’m a billionaire. I do what I want.” I winked.

Emily rolled her eyes and then grinned down at Juniper. “Are you ready, sweet pea? We’re going to have to run hard to avoid getting too wet.”

Juniper nodded, her face a mask of stoic determination.

Her mother threw open the door. Emily and Juniper ran toward her front door at full speed, both laughing as they hit the porch and escaped the worst of the pouring rain.

I scooted over and jumped out on their side, slamming the door closed behind me. Emily’s compact packing pleased me as I grabbed her suitcase and then her daughter’s and began my jog to their porch. By the time I arrived, she had the door open and was standing inside with Juniper right behind her.

I placed their suitcases right inside the door with a smile. Maybe it was a pointless gesture of gallantry, but I hoped Emily would appreciate it.

“Hey, Juniper,” Emily said. “Go upstairs and check on your room. Make sure there’s no water in it.”

“Okay, Mama.” The little girl scurried off with surprising speed.

“You have problems with your roof?” I asked.

Emily shook her head. “I just wanted to get her out of there before this.” She moved forward and stood on her tiptoes to kiss me lightly on the lips.

I was so surprised, I didn’t even have time to deepen the kiss before she pulled away.

“I really do want to thank you for taking me, Logan,” she said softly. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget that trip.”

“I only wish I could have spent more time with you.”

“Work is important.” She shrugged. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

We stared at each other for an uncomfortably long period. I imagine we might have stayed their longer if Juniper hadn’t come rushing over.

“There’s no water in my room, Mama,” she said, bouncing up and down. “Yay.”

“Well, I better get going,” I said. Juniper rushed over to hug my leg, and I patted her on the head.

“Good night, Mr. Hawkins.”

“Good night, Juniper.”

With that, I waved and sprinted back toward my limo.

Once inside, I spared one last glance at their porch, but Emily had already closed the door.

“Where to, sir?” the chauffeur asked over the intercom.

I glanced at my watch. Against my better judgment, I’d decided to board my boys in a kennel for this trip at the last minute, but it was already too late to go pick them up.

“Home.”

“Yes, sir.”

As the limo pulled away from Emily’s house, my thoughts drifted to her face on the porch and Juniper’s smile.

What happened in Tokyo was supposed to stay in Tokyo.

Screwed. That’s what I was. Completely and utterly screwed.

Maybe before going on the trip to Tokyo, I would have had some sort of chance of pushing Emily out of my mind and heart, but now that I’d slept with her, I might as well have chopped off an arm and pretended it didn’t hurt.

Friends? No way.

I didn’t want to be friends, even friends with benefits, temporary or otherwise. I wanted more than that.

I wanted to wake up with her beside me. I wanted to go to sleep with her beside me. I wanted to come home to her every day.

A lot of people might call that a lot of things, but I prided myself on never lying to myself. I knew exactly what this was. Love.

As Emily had made it clear that what we shared in Tokyo wasn’t coming stateside, I was pretty sure this meant I was doing nothing but breaking my own heart.

There was nothing to be done. I’d taken her halfway across the world on a fun-filled trip, pleased her in bed, and made it clear I was interested, and she wanted nothing more despite all that.

My thoughts drifted to Juniper. I’d never thought much about kids, but spending time with the little girl made me realize what I’d been missing as well.

Alone with my thoughts, I stared out the window until the limo took me back home. I thanked the driver and hurried in with my own suitcases. He didn’t seem to understand my reluctance for his help, but I was hoping that at least he could have a good night since I wasn’t.

I opened the door and trudged inside, my sodden coat dripping on the floor. Arla wouldn’t be in until the morning, and I didn’t even have the boys there to greet me.

A crushing weight descended on me.

Welcome back to America, and welcome back to loneliness.

I pulled off my coat and placed it in the closet. I left my suitcase by the front door and headed for the stairs. I wanted to fall into my bed and sleep.

Sure, I’d traveled halfway across the world and was dealing with some jet lag, but really, I wanted the comforting embrace of unconsciousness.

I dragged myself into my bedroom and removed my clothes, tossing them on the floor next to my bed. I slipped under the covers and closed my eyes.

The darkness crept up on me in the next few minutes, but not before my mind drifted again to an image of Emily’s lips swollen from a kiss.

Love and lust. A perfect and painful pair.

I was so screwed.