Chapter Nine

EMILY

Tuesday night, I found myself in the parking lot of Rue Verte, the fancy French restaurant Logan had invited me to on his second call. I didn’t tend to go to places like this much anymore.

Nothing against the food, but I guess I sometimes wanted to forget the high-end lifestyle Lionel had been so obsessed with, and forty-dollar-a-plate meals were somewhat wasted on five-year-old little girls.

I couldn’t believe I was even there. His first voicemail had him deciding we were going to go on a date, and then when he called me Sunday night, I found myself unable to say no. Juniper was with Lionel for the week, so I didn’t even have her as an excuse.

I sighed. I wasn’t even sure why I was so uneasy and looking for an excuse.

It wasn’t like I’d sworn myself to a life of celibacy because of my divorce, but something about Logan left me nervous, though not in a bad way. I’d not been all that interested during our first meeting, but now every time I talked with him, he pulled at me more.

Then there was whatever happened at the fundraiser. I still couldn’t remember, and I’d been far too afraid to ask Mama to clarify. Whatever it was, it was enough to convince both Mama and Logan that I was interested in him.

I figured I must have said something to him while drunk, probably told him how handsome he was. He certainly was. But that was a superficial thing. I still didn’t know that much about the man, not really.

Nibbling my lip, I glanced down at the red dress I was wearing. It did more than a little to show off my breasts, but this was supposed to be a date, so a little seduction wasn’t out of line.

Maybe it was. A little mild attraction wasn’t enough to start something. I wasn’t a little girl anymore, impressed to have a man. I was a grown woman with a child. If I was going to start something, it had to be something with a good chance of going somewhere. Otherwise, it’d be a waste of everyone’s time.

My heels clacked against the asphalt as I made my way to the glass doors. Logan stood there already, looking stunning in a dark blue suit. He opened the door and held it for me with a smile.

There was no escape now or making up excuses. He’d spotted me.

I offered him a wave and a smile, even though my heart was already pounding. I stepped inside, the light classical playing inside doing little to soothe my nerves.

“Let me show you to our table,” he said.

I nodded but didn’t say anything.

Logan led me to a nice table toward the back. Two bottles of wine rested on the table.

He slid my chair out for me, and I took a seat, offering him a genuine smile at the gesture. Lionel didn’t even do that sort of thing when we’d first met. He claimed he found it condescending, but mostly, I think he was lazy.

Logan sat down across from me. “I ordered a red and a white to get us started.” He rattled off the year and vintage, but I’d never been an expert on that kind of thing, so I had no clue if they were good or not. I nodded, assuming he knew how to pick a decent wine.

“I’m glad you agreed to go out with me again,” he said, taking a sip of the red wine.

“That first date wasn’t really fair,” I said, trying my best not to nibble on my lip. “And it’s been a while since I’ve had good French food.”

Logan smiled warmly. “Oh, you’ll love this place, then. I didn’t really know what you liked, but I figured given your parents that you’re not exactly a girl who grew up eating only cheeseburgers.”

I laughed. “No, even though now that I’m a single mom, it seems more I’m going that way. Not like my daughter has an appreciation for fine cuisine.”

“I can imagine.” He watched me with those dark eyes, the burning curiosity almost unnerving. Was I really so fascinating to a man like Logan Hawkins?

“Already know what you’re going to order?”

He nodded. “Yes. I’ve been here several times and already have some favorites. Kind of an easy place for me to pick, I suppose.”

I picked up the menu and started scanning my choices. Everything sounded so delicious. We lapsed into silence for a minute or so as I picked out my meal.

When the waiter arrived, Logan ordered some vegetable dish I couldn’t pronounce if my life depended on it, and I decided on some poached salmon with truffle sauce. My mouth watered just from ordering it.

Once our waiter departed, I looked at Logan again. The curiosity from before was gone. His hands were clasped tightly together, and his posture stiff. If I didn’t know better, I would have said he was nervous, but he didn’t have any reason to nervous. He at least knew what happened at the party.

I didn’t comment on it, and he didn’t say anything. Instead, we both sat there in awkward silence for a few moments.

“We’ve not talked about it,” he said, breaking the silence. He glanced down for a moment before looking back up at me.

“Talked about what?”

“What happened at the party.” He shrugged. “I’m not complaining. It was a great experience, but it does seem like something we should at least talk about.”

My heart had just calmed down only to speed up again. This time, I lost my fight against my lip nibbling. I didn’t want to admit to Logan that I’d drank so much that I couldn’t even remember the party. He might like me or be attracted to me, but I doubted he’d like a woman who he thought was a total lush.

“Well, talk then,” I said with a shrug. Things were getting pretty twisted at this point considering I was trying to pretend to know about something I couldn’t remember, which could have been everything from a disaster to not a big deal.

Logan glanced around before leaning forward. He kept his voice low when he spoke. “I’m going to be honest, Emily. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a kiss that enjoyable in a long time, if ever.”

“Kiss?” I echoed, my eyes widening.

No, no, no.

“Yes, the kiss.” He shrugged. “Well, kisses.”

I stared at him, my mouth agape. His brow furrowed, and then he leaned back with a frown.

“You don’t even remember, do you?”

More lies wouldn’t help the situation, so I just offered a simple, “I remember showing up. I remember my bas—my ex-husband talking to me, and then I remember drinking a lot of champagne.”

Logan offered me a thin smile before taking a sip of his wine. He let out a quiet chuckle. “Ouch.”

“Ouch?”

“Here I thought we had this great connection, perfect chemistry, and it turns out you don’t even remember it.” He grinned. “It does hurt a little.”

I groaned and looked down at the table, anything to avoid looking him in the eye. “Please tell me everything that happened.”

“I was chatting with some of my mother’s friends when you walked into the room, grabbed me, and pulled me into a nearby antechamber. Then, you kissed me.”

I gasped. “I-I… huh?”

“Then, I kissed you back. You explained how you were doing this to get revenge on your ex-husband, and we kissed some more, and then…” An uncomfortable expression settled over his face, and he shrugged lightly. “Then my mother and two of her friends saw us.”

If we weren’t in such a high-class place, I might have slammed my head on the table. “Ugh. Oh, my.”

“Don’t worry. My mother made sure no one spread any rumors around. As far as I know, only those two women and our mothers know about it.”

Sighing, I managed to lift my head, my cheeks burning hard. Logan didn’t look embarrassed. He only looked amused.

“So, I drank so much that I basically forced myself on you?” Another groan escaped. “I’m so, so, so sorry. That’s not that kind of woman I am. I barely even drink. It’s just…” I dropped my face into my palm. “Stupid Lionel. I’d say it’s all his fault, but he didn’t force me to drink the champagne.”

Logan shook his head. “Don’t apologize. I’ll admit I’m disappointed you didn’t even remember the kiss, but I still enjoyed kissing you, so you have nothing to worry about.”

The return of our waiter with our meals stopped me from replying, which was fine by me. I spent the next fifteen minutes offering only one-word responses to Logan as I ate my salmon. Despite the glorious flavors of the flaky fish on my tongue, my mind kept swirling back to what had happened on Friday.

What did Logan think of me? It didn’t matter what I’d said. It’d matter what I’d done, and so he must have been convinced that I was the kind of girl who got drunk and threw herself at men. That made my face burn enough, but the thought that he’d want to a pursue a girl like that didn’t exactly fill me with joy.

Mama’s behavior now made perfect sense. In her mind, we were probably one step away from being engaged if we were willing to make out in public at a charity fundraising dinner.

“How’s your daughter doing?” Logan said.

I looked up from the table and blinked. I hadn’t even realized I’d stop looking at him.

Whether or not he was interested in Juniper, at least the question gave me something else to focus on.

“She’s with Lionel for the week,” I said. I tried and failed to keep the venom out of my voice.

“You mentioned that when we set this up.” Logan’s gaze darkened. “He doesn’t mistreat her, does he?”

I shook my head. “He may be a bastard to adult women, but he’s always been sweet to Juniper. She’ll probably come home with another twenty pounds of LEGOs.”

“She likes LEGOs?”

“Oh, she’s crazy about them. Loves building all sorts of little things.” I let out a sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

“I miss her is all.”

“I understand. I miss my boys when I’m on trips.”

Boys? Talk about shock. Mama hadn’t mentioned anything about him having kids of his own. And he hadn’t mentioned it before.

“You have kids?”

He gave me an odd look and then grinned. “Oh, I can see how you’re confused. No, my boys are my two black labs.”

“Oh.” I smiled. “Juniper talks about getting a dog, but I want to wait until she’s a bit older.”

The light in his eyes as he spoke about his dogs moved me. I wasn’t sure what to think about Logan Hawkins, but the more I got to know him, the more depth and caring I found. For the first time that night, I relaxed.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the meal went smoothly. With my nerves under control, I could better taste the fish, even if my worries about getting drunk kept me to two glasses of wine.

I watched him as he spoke about a recent trip to England, liking his dimpled smile. All the stiffness and awkwardness I’d felt before had vanished, and I had to stop from getting lost in those dark eyes of his.

Maybe we did have chemistry. Even with a few glasses of champagne in me, I was still me. It wasn’t like I’d chosen to just kiss the first man I saw.

The waiter returned with Logan’s credit card and a receipt to sign.

“May I walk you to your car, Emily?”

“Thank you.”

Again, the perfect gentleman, he took my arm in his and led me out to the parking lot. I opened the door of my car and lingered there, waiting. For what? Not sure. A kiss, maybe?

“I had a good time,” he said.

“I did, too.” I cleared my throat. Juniper was with her father until Monday. We could easily go on another date. “So, about this weekend…”

He shook his head. “Sorry, I’m going to be away on a work trip.”

“Oh, okay,” I said.

Something in his eyes changed, and I wasn’t sure what it meant. His brush-off about the work made it clear this was a one-time thing. Maybe he hoped to find the same passion we’d had when kissing at the party.

Did he even have a trip? I didn’t know, but I did know I’d tried to reach out to him, and he’d shot me down immediately.

“Anyway, I’m beat,” I said. “Thank you for the meal. It was lovely.”

A faint look of surprise appeared on his face. “Okay, thanks for agreeing to come.”

I slipped into my car and closed the door, offering him a final little wave.

This was a good thing. If he did have a trip, it only proved he was too busy to be worrying about dating. The only reason I’d been able to go on the date was that Juniper was gone. It wasn’t like he’d enjoy spending time with my hyper daughter bouncing around. Just because he had a few dogs didn’t mean he knew how to handle kids.

Starting my car, I nodded to myself. Yes, it was disappointing, and yes, stupid Login Hawkins and his handsome face might haunt me at night for a bit, but it was a good thing if we both went our separate ways.