I woke up early after a night of restless sleep. I kept having the weirdest dreams after Alexa left. I had a dream that I was in Alexa’s room and we were making out when she started taking off her clothes.

I was kissing her neck, and she was in ecstasy. But instead of moaning my name, she kept saying Sebastian. I would correct her, but she couldn’t hear me. She just kept saying his name. I think I woke myself up from saying my own name.

Once I managed to fall asleep again, I dreamt that Alexa’s parents were coming to kill me. I kept trying to run, but my feet felt heavy and sluggish. At one point, I even tried to run backward because my legs would not move forward. Her mom found me and held a gun to my head. I woke up when she pulled the trigger.

Now I was awake. After a night of poor sleep, I was left feeling just as confused as I did last night. I decided that I’d go crazy if I sat in my room alone, so I got dressed and went to the gym. I sent a quick text before I left.

Couldn’t sleep. I would love to see you. If you want to talk, I’ll be at the gym for a few hours.

I was just about to start my reps at the bench press when a familiar face appeared. There’s no faster way to spoil your peaceful workout than to have Donny around.

“Need me to spot you?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said dryly. “What are you doing here so early?”

“Rise and grind, baby,” he said stupidly. “As the captain, I have to set a good example for my boys.”

“I didn’t know coach announced new captains.”

“Well, not officially, but it couldn’t be anyone else but me.”

He was probably right, and that made me feel sorry for my younger teammates.

“So, you porked Alexa last night, nice,” he said, too loudly.

I glared at him. “That’s none of your business.”

“She’s gonna break your heart, man,” he said. “That’s what those rich girls do.”

I nearly dropped the bar on my chest. “What do you mean by that?”

“I went to boarding school up east. I’ve seen it a million times. Some girl starts hanging out with a boy who’s just there on scholarship. Once the parents find out he’s a nobody, they shut it down. There was this kid on the hockey team; his parents were farmers or something like that. They didn’t have a lot of connections.

The daughter of a senator starts hooking up with him. Next thing you know, he’s been expelled and she moves on to another kid.”

“What was he expelled for?” I asked, curious if this was even a real story.

“Honestly, nobody ever found out. But, you can be sure that that girl didn’t shed a tear over poor Bryan. Once her parents straightened her out, she found someone with more money, more connections. That’s the way it works. If you’re not good enough, they’ll move on to someone else.”

Listening to him talk about this made me feel ill. I was starting to believe him, too. He knew this world a lot better than I did. I was a complete outsider. Even if I went pro, I don’t think it would make any difference.

Is this what Alexa was going to do to me? She would use me for a few months and then move on to someone who could give her a better life. I knew I wasn’t good enough for her. I just wish I could have grown up in a family like Donny’s, just so I could have a chance to be with her.

I was about to get on the treadmill when I saw her enter the gym. I hoped that Donny was nowhere near. I didn’t need him spoiling my time with Alexa.

“Hey,” I said, waving her over. I didn’t know what the proper protocol was for whatever our relationship was. Do I hug her? Can I kiss her? I followed her lead and gave her an awkward smile.

“Look,” she started. “Last night was weird. I’m really glad I had you around to talk to.”

“Of course, anytime.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“I had a really weird dream about you last night,” I blurted out. Crap. Now she’ll think I’m a creep.

She laughed. “What was it about?”

“Your parents were hunting me and I couldn’t move my legs.”

“I actually had a strange dream about you last night, too,” she giggled.

“Did I die in that dream, too?” I asked.

“No, we were, um, we were in my bed. Sebastian came in and started crying.”

Blood rushed to my face from the image she put in my mind. I noticed she was blushing too.

“So,” Alexa started. “About last night…”

I clenched my jaw. This didn’t sound good.

“I don’t expect you to understand, but things are really complicated between my parents and me. I don’t think I can be in a relationship right now. I’m really scared that I’m going to lose everything if I upset them any further. I feel really terrible saying this—“

“It’s okay,” I said. “I get it. If you want space, I can give you that.”

“Thanks,” she said, biting her lip. “I don’t know what I want. I want to still have parents by the time I graduate.

My relationship with my mom has been rocky for years, but I don’t want to upset my dad. Apart from Sasha and Gia, he’s the only one who has ever supported me.”

“Does this mean we can’t talk anymore?” I asked.

She smiled. “No, of course not. There’s no reason why we can’t be friends. Especially now that I know you’re fun to hang out with.”

I smiled back. This wasn’t what I wanted, but I guess I could accept this compromise. Even if we couldn’t be together in the way I wanted, being friends with Alexa was better than no Alexa.

“Why don’t you and the girls come over to my place later this week?” I asked. I think Reg and Sasha have been hitting it off lately.”

She giggled. “Sasha hits it off with everybody.”

“What about Thursday night?”

“Perfect,” she answered. “I don’t have class on Friday. Do you?”

“It depends on how much I drink on Thursday,” I laughed. “Will I see you in class this week?”

She nodded. It looked like she still had a lot on her mind.

“I’ll see you later, then,” she said. “I’m going to swim some laps.” She held up her gym bag.

“See you,” I said, climbing onto the treadmill.

Maybe we would never be a couple. That didn’t mean we couldn’t spend some quality time together.