I parked my bike in our ill-maintained driveway. I was at the porch, and I could already hear the screaming inside. A plate crashed to the floor.

It was ten, late, I didn’t have other plans for the rest of the night. After a long day at the garage, I was looking forward to some peace and quiet. I was exhausted. I needed sleep.

I pushed open the front door and was greeted with their raised, screeching voices. I didn’t have to go into the living room to know that they were at each other’s throats.

These were my parents. This was my home. I was twenty years old and too afraid to walk into my own house.

I tiptoed past the living room, darting for the stairs.

“Jared! Jared! Come in here!” I heard Mom’s voice. I was halfway up the stairs already, just moments away from my room.

“What are you calling him for?” Dad’s voice was heavy with booze and his words were slurring.

“He should come in here and see his father! In this state!” Mom yelled. “Jared! I heard you come in!”

I remained frozen to the spot. I didn’t want to get in the middle of this. I just wanted to go to sleep.

“And what about his whore mother? You think I don’t know you’ve been fucking Paul Maloney all day?” Dad growled. Mom’s screeching laughter filled the house.

I closed my eyes and sucked in my gut.

“Jared!” she yelled again.

I walked down the steps, but instead of going into the living room, I just walked right out of the house again. I ignored my bike, jumped over the fence, and looked up at the dark house of the Carrs. They always went to sleep early. By nine, the lights were off in their home.

I tried to be as quiet as possible as I squeezed through the bushes and positioned myself under Elsie’s window. I looked around for pebbles and when I found them, I threw them at the window.

Within moments, I saw the window being pulled up and then her head was sticking out. Her long chestnut hair fell around her shoulders, and she was smiling at me.

“Long day?” she asked, in a hushed voice.

“Doing anything?”

“Just trying to sleep,” she replied.

“Wanna go for a ride?” I asked.

Elsie disappeared into her room again. I waited a few minutes and then the front door of their house was opening. Elsie was still in her pajamas, but she’d thrown a denim jacket over herself. She bounded down the steps of the porch and rushed towards me.

“Did I wake you?” I asked, and she shook her head excitedly.

“I couldn’t sleep. I was wondering when you’d get back home,” she replied.

The sound of another plate crashing came from my house and Elsie looked in its direction, over my shoulder. I could see the tension in her eyes. She felt sorry for me. She hated my parents…probably more than I did.

“Let’s go somewhere?” she asked, and I smiled at her.

Within minutes, we were riding on my bike. Elsie had her arms around my waist. I could feel her slender warm body pressed up against mine. I rode my bike hard, in the direction of the lake. I could see her hair flying in the breeze, in the rearview mirror.

When we arrived at the lake, Elsie jumped off. It was a cold night, and even colder by the lake. I had a leather jacket on, but Elsie shivered. I gave her my jacket and she wrapped it around herself as she walked to the bank of the lake.

It was a clear night; the sky was dotted with shimmering stars. I breathed in the fresh air deeply. It was calm and peaceful. I was glad Elsie was there with me.

“Are you doing okay?” she asked when I joined her by the bank. We liked to stare out at the water while we talked. I clenched my jaw.

“I’m okay now,” I told her.

Elsie reached for my hand, weaving her fingers into mine. She was the closest friend I had…probably the only one. When she held my hand, which she often did—it wasn’t romantic. She held my hand because she thought I needed it. Then she leaned her head on my shoulder and I closed my eyes.

“Just some more time, Jared, and then we can leave this place. You can leave home and get away from them,” I heard her say. My body stiffened; I couldn’t breathe when Elsie was touching me.

We’d been friends for four years, even though we’d been neighbors forever. I’d wanted her all my life. I valued our friendship. She was always there when I needed someone, but I never had the courage to tell her I wanted more.

“I can’t wait to get out,” I whispered, and Elsie looked up to meet my eyes.

“Soon. We’ll go somewhere together. New York or Chicago or LA. Somewhere big and busy. It’ll be so much fun!” Elsie was smiling gleefully now. Her dream sounded amazing, and we spoke about it often. I just didn’t know when it would be possible. I had no money, no support, and a half-baked education. Besides, I couldn’t lead Elsie into a life of poverty and hardships. Her family expected so much more from her.

I nodded my head and she looked away, still smiling. If I could just build up the courage to tell her…to finally confess my feelings for her, then this life would at least be bearable.

Soon, I told myself. A few more days, maybe a few more weeks, and I’d bring her out to the lake and tell her I had always loved her.