I felt like my body didn’t belong to me anymore. Emma was nowhere in sight.

In the time it had taken me to go through Jared’s file, Emma had disappeared somewhere. I ran to the swings. Lucy’s mother was there and I grabbed her arm.

“Where’s Emma?” I shouted. Lucy’s mother, a typical soccer mom with her hair perfectly done up, squealed.

“What are you doing? You’re hurting me!” she snapped and yanked her arm away.

“Where’s Emma? She was right here. She was playing with Lucy!” I knew I looked like a mess, like a mad woman, but I didn’t care.

“How am I supposed to know? You should have been keeping an eye on her,” the woman snapped. I could feel tears brimming my eyes.

“Emma!” I screeched, turning full circles on the spot. I scanned the park, and several people looked up at me.

“You should have been more careful!” Lucy’s mom continued to snap at me.

“It’s not her fault,” Jared appeared beside me. I saw the woman’s cheeks color. It was the natural reaction any hot-blooded woman had towards Jared. Her eyes softened as she looked him up and down.

“That’s not what I meant. I was just…” she tried to track back on her words. Jared grunted.

“Either help us look for her or keep your opinions to yourself,” he growled, and I felt his hand on my arm.

“Elsie, we’re going to find her,” he said to me. I yanked my arm away from him.

“Get away from me. This is all your fault!” I shrieked, and then I ran.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks while I ran around the park. I looked behind every tree, running up to every little kid at the park. Emma was nowhere. Why would she leave? Why would she go anywhere? Had someone taken her?

I was crying, blubbering, unable to shed the fear that was gripping my heart.

“Emma! Emma! Please!” I kept crying out, now running out of breath. I didn’t want to leave the park just yet, in hopes that she was still here somewhere. It was all Jared’s doing. He distracted me. I shouldn’t have looked away, I should have been more responsible.

Panting and still crying, I fumbled in my jeans for my phone. I felt dizzy as I tried to dial nine-one-one.

“Auntie Elsie!” I heard Emma’s voice and my phone dropped from my hand. I looked up to find her holding Jared’s hand. She was tugging him along in my direction.

“Emma!” I ran to her, pulling her into my arms and holding her tightly to myself. “Where were you? Oh my God, Emma, don’t ever do that to me again!” I cried and stroked her pretty hair. Emma pouted her lips.

“Are you crying, Auntie Elsie?” she asked, and I kissed her cheek.

Jared was standing behind her, looking at us with a grin on his face.

“She was out on the streets, chasing a fox squirrel,” Jared explained. I narrowed my eyes at her angrily.

“You know you’re not supposed to do that, Emma! You’re not supposed to go anywhere without permission. You know better than that, don’t you?” I scolded her, but I couldn’t be angry with her. I was so relieved to have found her. Emma nodded her head and threw her arms around my neck.

I lifted her up, meeting Jared’s eye.

“Thank you,” I said to him curtly and he smiled.

“Don’t worry about it. I can imagine how scary it was for you,” he replied. There was a new kind of softness in his gray eyes.

“I should take Emma home. I need to tell Mona what happened,” I told him and he nodded.

“Of course, you do what you have to do.”

I was about to walk away, I should have…but my feet were frozen to the ground.

“I’m sorry I blamed you,” I murmured meekly. Jared’s grin grew. Was he actually going to smile? A real smile?

“It’s okay. You were panicking,” he told me, and I realized that he wasn’t trying to be arrogant. He genuinely meant it.

“Maybe we can…I don’t know…maybe we could continue our conversation some other time?” I asked. I tried to hide the hope from my voice. The last thing I wanted was for him to know that I missed him still, and how happy I was to see him again. I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it till now.

“I would like that too, but I’m leaving Chicago tonight. I have a meeting in LA in the morning that I have to attend,” Jared said. I nodded my head. I could feel the tears drying on my cheeks.

“Yeah, of course. Some other time then. If you’re ever in Chicago again.” I was quick with my words, trying to hide my disappointment.

“Unless you’re free over the weekend?” he asked. I crossed my brows at the suggestion.

“This weekend?” I asked.

“I have a cabin up in Vermont. I was planning on spending the weekend there, a little getaway. You could join me?” Jared asked.

Bad idea. Terrible idea.

A whole weekend of us locked away in a cabin together? Why would he even suggest such a thing! What was he expecting us to do there?

Jared searched my eyes.

“You can have your own room, of course,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’m not suggesting…” he allowed his words to trail, conscious of Emma in my arms.

“I’ll have to think about it,” I said quickly, and he nodded.

“Well, you have my number now. Goodbye, Elsie,” he replied and waved at Emma, who waved back.

I watched Jared leave the park, with his hands stuffed into his pockets. I put Emma down and gripped her hand tightly.

“Are you really going to tell Mommy?” Emma asked, interrupting my thoughts. I looked down at her and nodded my head.

“Yes. I’m sorry, honey, but we tell each other everything,” I lied to her.

Mona was serving us dinner, while Emma was in her room. She’d been punished by her mother and sent to bed without dessert. I tried to protest, but Mona held her ground.

“That was a very dangerous thing to do, Elsie, she needs to know better,” Mona had said.

Now, the two of us were preparing to sit down to eat. Her husband, my brother-in-law, was out of town on a business trip.

I had a glass of wine in my hand, which I swirled around. I still hadn’t told her anything that was happening with Jared. Surprisingly, Emma hadn’t mentioned him either.

Mona finally sat down at the table with me, with a dish of lasagna between us.

“Nobody warns you how scary it is being a parent. I’m constantly worried that I’m doing something wrong. That Emma isn’t going to grow up to be a happy person,” Mona said, shaking her head.

I was watching her closely, still trying to decide whether to tell her what happened with Jared. When she looked up at me, I smiled at her weakly.

“You’re doing fine, Mona. Emma is lovely and happy. You’ve learnt from the best…Mom and Dad,” I said.

Both our parents had passed away recently. We were all very close. Mona and I spoke about them often, remembering the good times from our childhood.

Mona sighed now, while she served herself some lasagna.

“They were great, yes, but honey, they weren’t perfect either,” she replied. I crossed my brows in surprise. I’d never heard Mona speak of them that way. She was their golden child…the one who made them proud in every aspect and never had friends like Jared.

“What are you talking about, Mona?” I asked and I noticed that my sister was avoiding my eyes.

“I’m just saying that everyone makes mistakes. Mom and Dad…well, they loved us dearly and everything they did, they did because they thought it was for the best. But they weren’t always right,” she said and ate her food.

I wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but it seemed like Mona wasn’t in the mood to explain either. The tone of our conversation…talking about family…all those things made me realize that I shouldn’t be keeping secrets from Mona.

Since Jared disappeared from my life, my sister was the only real friend I had. I cleared my throat and took a long sip of my wine.

“Mona, I have to tell you something. Today, at the park, I was with Jared. We were talking and I got distracted. That is why I lost Emma.” I was looking down at my lap with shame. I didn’t want to meet her eyes and I could sense that she was staring at me.

There were a few moments of silence between us. I thought Mona was going to erupt, that she was going to give me an earful. Instead, she sighed.

“It could have happened to anybody. You’re not expected to stare at Emma constantly. She’s supposed to learn right from wrong too. You being with Jared was not the reason why you lost Emma. Stop blaming yourself.” When I heard Mona speak, I looked up with a jerk.

I thought she would lose her calm. The last thing I expected was for her to speak casually about Jared.

I drank some more wine. I was too shocked to say anything.

“How long is he going to be in Chicago?” she asked next.

“He’s leaving tonight. He has some meeting in LA tomorrow,” I replied, and Mona nodded her head.

“So, you’re not going to see him again?” she asked, and I looked up at her with a pinched, nervous face. I knew she could sense the turbulence raging inside me.

“He’s invited me to his cabin in Vermont over the weekend. I haven’t given him an answer yet,” I said. Mona’s eyes were widened; she was considering my words quietly.

“Do you want to see him again?” she asked and I gulped. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to say anything.

“Elsie…there’s nothing wrong with forgiving him, if that’s what you really want to do,” she spoke softly.

Those didn’t sound like my sister’s words. All these years, every time she spoke about Jared…she stressed on how important it was for me to forget him.

“I don’t know if he wants to be forgiven. I don’t know what he wants,” I told her. Mona nodded.

“You should find out, Elsie,” she said firmly. I drank more wine. I didn’t know what was going on, why Mona was taking Jared’s side…was she taking his side?

“Elsie, honey…” she began and reached for my hand over the table. “All I want is for you to be happy. These past ten years…you’ve just been lost,” she continued.

“I’m fine, Mona,” I argued, but she wasn’t buying it.

“Every relationship you had with a man, you ended. Nobody was ever good enough for you. You’re still in love with him.”

I was shocked to hear those words coming from my sister. She’d never said it so directly before. In love with him! I’d never admitted it to myself.

We were staring at each other, but Mona’s gaze was softened.

“Maybe you should go to Vermont, honey. Find out what he wants. The last time when he left, you got no closure. Maybe this time, if things don’t work out, at least you’ll know for sure. You can finally move on.” Mona was surprising me with each word. However, her little speech was also tipping me over the edge.

I hadn’t mentioned the job to her. That was the real reason Jared invited me to Vermont, wasn’t it? He wanted to recruit me. This had nothing to do with feelings or love or even friendship.

Mona smiled at me…it was a sympathetic smile. I couldn’t smile back at her.