Elsie joined me in the kitchen sometime later. The steaks were almost ready.

I’d zoned out while I was cooking us dinner, trying to not think about her or how I felt about her. I tried to keep my mind blank, free of all thoughts. The fact that having sex with Elsie, being inside her…was the best feeling…I needed to forget that. Tonight was going to be our last time spent together and I didn’t want to mess it up.

“Hope you’re hungry!” I exclaimed, forcing myself to be cheerful. Elsie didn’t say much. She just lingered in the kitchen, trying to keep her eyes averted from me.

The table was set for two and I brought the steaks out for both of us.

“Sit, sit!” I insisted and went back to the counter to bring the salad bowl.

Elsie sat down across from me. I knew she was glum. Just like I’d predicted…having sex again would change everything. She wasn’t just angry with me anymore, she was also sad. I should have resisted.

“How’s work?” I changed the subject when I sat down. Talking about our relationship…about what happened, would only make things worse. I knew that. I wanted to avoid it.

She looked up at me, and there was an ache in her eyes.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to try and convince you to come work for me anymore,” I confessed.

I’d changed my mind. This morning I’d woken up determined to recruit Elsie to my team. A few hours later, while I watched her undressing herself—I knew that couldn’t happen.

If she worked for me, this would happen again. As long as Elsie was around me, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off her. It was over. This had to end here.

She shifted in her chair now and pierced a piece of tomato with her fork.

“I thought it was going well…I mean, I had a whole presentation lined up for a meeting yesterday,” she finally said.

“And?”

“And I botched it up. I wasn’t prepared for it. My mind was…occupied,” she said and looked at me with guilt.

“What was the presentation for?” I asked.

“We need funding for the wells we want to build. I was meeting with potential benefactors for donations, but my presentation was crap. We’ll have to start all over again. Look for new people.” Elsie was speaking in a low, soft voice, more to herself than to me.

“I’m sorry, Elsie, if it was my fault in any way,” I told her.

She looked up at me and shook her head.

“No, it was my fault, if anyone’s. I allowed myself to get distracted by you,” she said.

I tried to eat, but I wasn’t hungry anymore. I was hurting her once again. I shouldn’t have invited her to Vermont. That day after the park, I should have simply walked away and never got in touch with her again.

Elsie looked up at me abruptly and put down her cutlery.

“Why did you invite me here?” she asked, like she had read my thoughts.

I didn’t know how to answer that question.

“I know I shouldn’t have,” I said, and she nodded her head, with her lips pressed sourly together.

“I thought that maybe when you said you wanted to talk…that we spend some time together…I was hoping you wanted to make amends. But all you really wanted was an opportunity to have sex again. One last time. Like a keepsake,” Elsie’s voice was strangely calm, even though her words were anything but.

I shook my head.

“You asked me to!” I snapped.

“I know I did. I know what I said. But I thought it would mean something to you…I didn’t realize that sex with me would be just a basic human necessity. Isn’t that how you put it?” her voice sizzled as she spoke now.

I knew this would happen. I knew it would hurt her. Still, I’d done it. I should have resisted and said no. I should have put a stop to it when I could.

“What was it supposed to mean, Elsie?” I growled. My eyes were growing heavy with frustration. Elsie breathed heavily as she stared at me.

“Something! Anything more than just a common activity! It wasn’t common to me, Jared!” She stood up from her chair with a jerk, making her plate and cutlery clatter. “You have been nothing but selfish and arrogant all our lives. Our friendship was always just about you, Jared, and this still is. It’s always about what you want. And my eyes are open now. You were never going to be there for me. It wasn’t strange that you disappeared. You were always going to disappear. It was just a matter of time.”

I remained sitting. I didn’t know what to do or say that would appease her. She was right on all counts.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I have no choice but to spend the night here. I really don’t want you to get in touch with me again. This time, it’s my decision,” Elsie hissed. When I looked at her I saw pure anger in her eyes.

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” I replied.

She scoffed and whipped around, striding out of the room. I heard a door open and then bang shut. She’d found the spare room and locked herself in it.

I sighed heavily and continued eating my steak.

I definitely deserved that. I deserved every word of it. Once she was gone tomorrow, hopefully things could go back to normal again. Ralph would just have to find someone else to recruit.