Chapter 2
Felix
I’d been suffering from insomnia for close to four years now, pretty much since the day that my wife died. Natalie and I had a whirlwind relationship. We met, I asked her to marry me within two months, and soon after, our daughter was born. Cici, our daughter, was less than two years old when Natalie was diagnosed with cancer. She didn’t have to suffer long, that was the only relief. The three of us, Natalie, Cici and I had a few months together and then she was gone. Leaving me to raise our daughter by myself.
That was four years ago, and since then, I had slept very little. Surviving mostly on espressos and gallons of whiskey, and business deals to keep the adrenaline pumping in my veins.
It wasn’t that I was completely alone in raising Cici; I had lots of help. We had a housekeeper, two part-time helpers, and a full-time nanny to look after Cici’s every need, but she was nearly six years old now, and she couldn’t remember her mother. I was afraid that I wasn’t doing the job of a parent right. I wasn’t sure if Cici knew what it meant to have a happy, homely family life.
I traveled a lot, kept myself busy; the more money I made, the hungrier I got for more. I spent very little time at home, seeing Cici a couple of times in a month. I was anxious that she didn’t know me anymore, she didn’t know what having a father around meant, but I couldn’t bring myself to be there. If I spent time in the house, it reminded me of Natalie and what our life would have looked like if she was still around. When I looked at Cici, I saw her mother’s face.
Staying away, traveling, kept me distracted.
This morning, I woke up in my own bed in our home in San Francisco. I’d returned from Istanbul the night before, after an eight-day trip. I was in talks with developers in Turkey to help me with our business expansion. A hotel in Istanbul would be just the key I needed to unlock Asia. A hotel in Dubai after that, and another one in Hong Kong, was my next four-year plan.
I had another meeting in New York and I would have avoided stopping by San Francisco if I could help it, but I needed to conduct a meeting with the team here first. So, I was finally home…even though this didn’t feel like home anymore.
I got out of bed still feeling drowsy because I hadn’t slept much in the night. I took a shower and changed into a suit and tie for the meeting, making my way to the dining room for an early breakfast. When I entered, I saw Cici sitting there at the breakfast bar, with a bowl of uneaten cereal in front of her and a piece of toast in her hand that she’d been munching on.
Her eyes lit up when she saw me.
“Daddy?” she said, in a surprised voice. She wasn’t expecting to see me; she didn’t know that I was back. It was a big house and I’d returned very late at night.
“Hey there, baby girl, you’re up early!” I tried to sound cheerful as I walked towards her.
“Daddy! I’m so happy to see you!” she squealed, jumping off her chair to rush into my arms.
I lifted her up, looking into her small, angelic face. I loved her more than she would ever understand, even though it ached me to see her. It was a strange feeling, one I couldn’t explain, even to myself.
“Off to school?” I asked and Cici shook her head and pouted her lips.
“Daddy, you’re so silly! It’s Saturday!” she replied as I put her back down on her chair again.
“Of course it is!” I exclaimed, smiling at her, just as our housekeeper, Anne, came rushing into the room.
“Good morning, Mr. Stone! Thank God you’re here!” Anne seemed anxious.
“What’s the problem, Anne?” I asked her, sitting down across from Cici, who was giggling as she ate.
“Mr. Stone, sir, it’s just that Cici’s nanny…she’s fallen very sick and she hasn’t come in today.” Anne stood beside me with her hands clasped together. I looked at Cici, who had a hopeful look in her eyes, and then I turned to Anne again.
“What are you saying?” I asked her and Anne looked around the room sheepishly.
“Sir, it’s my morning off. I usually go visit my father at the nursing home on Saturday mornings, but if I go there won’t be anyone to look after Cici,” Anne continued. I gulped and looked over at my daughter again with a smile.
“What about the part-timers?” I asked.
“Daddy, can’t I go with you to work?” Cici interjected, and I continued staring at Anne for answers. I didn’t want to look at Cici and disappoint her with rejection.
“Sir…they don’t come in till late afternoon, but I could call them now if…” Anne replied.
“Daddy? Will you take me with you?” Cici asked again, and this time, I had no other choice but to look at her.
“I have an important meeting at the office, honey.” I tried to be as gentle with her as possible.
“I promise I’ll be good, Daddy, please! Please!” Cici was pouting her lips, and I could see her eyes watering already. I looked at Anne again, who seemed uncomfortable standing there.
“Of course, you can spend the morning with me,” I said and Cici jumped off her chair and came running to me again. She threw her little arms around my neck and covered the side of my face with kisses.
“Yay! I’m so excited! What should I wear?” Cici went running out of the dining room and Anne went after her.
I remained sitting at the table, with a pot of coffee in front of me. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spent an entire morning with Cici. What was I supposed to do with her?