Anna

And this is why I should’ve never gone to the hotel with Sean. Never let him buy me a drink. Never spent the night in his bed.

There were too many landmines, things he didn’t know, and he’d just tripped over one of them. 

Stumbling out of the rubble, I tried to sit up, but Sean’s hands were unyielding, and the look in his eyes brooked no argument. It said, “you’re going to tell me,” and gazing into the blue depths, identical to my daughter’s, I realized that I would. I’d answer any question Sean had. And if he asked the right one, everything would come crashing down. 

“I have a little girl,” I replied, making a vain attempt to keep my voice steady, my features schooled, and my hands from shaking. 

Ask me her name.

I forced the notion from my mind. Sean had a place reserved in my head, and the bond we’d shared was almost eerie at times. He used to finish my sentences, know what I thought before I thought it. 

Not now, though. 

Sean’s eyes dimmed, the light bleeding from the azure pools as if someone pulled a plug. He loosened his grip, and I wriggled free.

He sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed, and stared out the window. It was nearly dark outside now, a faint moon rising in the sky.

Ask me her name.

But he didn’t.

Lips turned downward and brows slashed in an angry line, Sean stared vacantly at the water while I studied his reflection in the glass.

I guess fucking a woman with a kid was a turn-off. And on some level, I knew that.

Why would Sean choose me, with my less than firm tits and faded stretch marks, when there was a bevy of women out there with perfect bodies, just waiting for him?

I’d embraced the changes in my body over the last four years. I was young, and I’d bounced back. But my hips were a little wider, my breasts a little fuller, and no amount of exercise would get rid of the stubborn little bulge above my scar.

I guess that’s what happens when a doctor rips you open and takes out a small human. 

As I sat pondering my shortcomings, I continued to watch Sean, and when he buried his head in his hands, gripping his hair and looking down at his feet, I knew it was time to leave.

I found my panties in the sheets and then slowly got out of bed. I’d just slipped the lace over my thighs when Sean’s fingers circled my wrist. 

Startled, I looked up.

“Where are you going?” 

His voice was like sandpaper, scraping the inside of my ears. 

“I just thought . . .” 

I didn’t know what I thought. Or what I felt. The only thing I wanted was to spare us both the embarrassment of this conversation.

Sean was looking at me now, his gaze crawling over me from tip to toe. Checking for imperfections, I assumed. He’d always regarded me with lust, a huge boost to my ego, even when I was young and I wasn’t sure what that look was all about.

I saw it last night and today, but now his eyes were shuttered. Not cold exactly, but inscrutable. 

“You don’t have to leave, Anna.” 

Of course, he would say that. 

I tugged free of his hold, smiling through tears I refused to let fall. “I only live a few miles from here. It’s no big deal.”

When I made to brush past him, he grabbed me and then shoved his hands into my hair. He stared down at me, cradling my face in his palms. “You promised me one night.” His lips found mine. Firm. Demanding. “One night.”

We tumbled onto the bed, a tangle of limbs, our mouths searching for one another. 

Sean’s hand dipped into my panties, long fingers parting my folds, slick with arousal, because, yeah, he did that to me. Always.

And then his fingers were inside, and I gasped. “Oh . . . God . . .” 

Maybe it was that rhythm Sean was always talking about, but he could play my body like no other. Not that I had a lot of experience. Two men, total. But Sean knew all the secret spots, coaxing the pleasure from inside me until I was a raw bundle of need. 

His thumb glided over my swollen nub while he pumped his fingers in just the right way, and I squeezed my eyes shut. 

“Look at me, Anna. Stay with me.” 

I’d heard those words from him a million times when forever was an option. Now it was all about a moment, this moment, and nothing else. 

“I’m here . . .” I managed to say before Sean sealed his mouth over mine, his tongue exploring, pushing me to the edge.

And when I shattered he swallowed every moan.

I was still somewhere else, floating above, when his teeth grazed my nipple. 

“Don’t stop.” I fisted his hair, still grinding against his hand. “Please . . .” 

He worked his way down, found my belly button ring and gave it a single pull. And then his mouth was an inch from my most sensitive spot, his warm breath tickling my clit. 

My back arched the second Sean’s tongue swirled over my tiny bud. His arm circled my thigh, fingers digging into my flesh with the right amount of pressure.

“Fuck,” he murmured. “You taste so good. So fucking sweet.”

His words sent me over the edge, riding the wave of another release, and my vision went dark. 

I was a shuddering mess, on the verge of tears when Sean finally pulled away. He pressed me into the mattress, his body covering mine as he kissed me, long and slow. 

“Believe me now?” he asked, brushing the hair off my sweaty brow.

“Huh?”

“I know you, Anna-baby. All of you.” 

Burying my face in his neck, the thrum of his pulse against my lips was almost enough to let the truth spill out. 

Before I could speak, Sean was on his knees, ripping the condom wrapper with his teeth. Desire darkened his irises, the silver threads burning bright. 

With his arms coiled around my thighs, he pushed in slowly.

Arching to meet his thrusts, I pressed my head into the pillow. 

“Eyes, Anna,” he grunted. “Show me your eyes.”

I did as he asked, holding his gaze as he moved with purpose, his jaw torqued tight, a deep crevice between his brows. 

“Sean . . . I can’t.”

He eased on top of me, his forearms braced on either side of my face, our noses less than an inch apart. And then he kissed me.

“Fuck . . . fuck . . . fuck, Anna,” he bit out, his mouth sliding from mine. “I’m not . . . I’m not going to last.”

He reached between us, then stroked my clit, teasing yet another orgasm out of my limp body. But this time he followed me over the edge, meeting the end of me as he came.  When he pushed to his palms and looked down at me, his brows drew together, worry chasing away any residual lust in his gaze. 

“What is it, baby?” His thumb skated over my cheek, spreading the moisture I didn’t realize was there. “Don’t cry. Shit.” 

He kissed away the tears while I tried to melt into the pillows, embarrassed and overwhelmed. It wasn’t him, I told myself. But that was a lie as well. It was always him. 

“I’m fine,” I croaked. 

He rolled off me and then disposed of the condom before joining me under the covers.

“Come here,” he said, entwining our fingers so he could pull me close. “Tell me what happened.”

You happened. This happened.

“Nothing. I’m just a little emotional. It’s been a hard week.”

He nodded, and though I knew I’d probably regret it, I snuggled into his arms and let the steady beat of his heart lull me to another place and another time. When I was happy.