Too Much Thinking Hurts My Brain
As soon as I get back into the building after my talk with Hunter, I decided to look for the lycans. I know I'm such a coward, but it's high time that I stop running...for now.
It's in between classes, Caspian, Lazarus, and Serena are standing by the end of the hallway, talking to each other quietly. Constantine and Milan are still missing.
As soon as I get near them, they stop talking. The three of them turn to look at me. Caspian especially looks furious. He closes the distance between us with a couple of steps. He grabs my shoulders, then he leans in and places his nose close to my neck.
Wait! What the... Is he sniffing me?
“So now you decide to come back to us?” growls Caspian accusingly, close to my ear. Then he pushes me away. “Why don't you just go back to that human boy or that beta mutt that I smell on you?” he adds before stalking away angrily, sounding almost like he's jealous.
I stare at his retreating figure in shock...and hurt. Caspian may be mischievous, a troublemaker, and a serial flirt but it’s always in a playful, fun and harmless way. Sometimes, he's even affectionate. He's never mean or unkind. It hurts to have him talk to me that way.
“What is his problem? ” I scowl at his retreating figure.
I turn to look at Lazarus who isn't looking very friendly either.
Fine! Be that way. I walk away, almost stomping my feet like a five-year-old. What's everyone's problem?
“Genesis!” Serena comes running after me. She takes my arm and leads me out the front exit, straight to the parking lot.
“Wait! School is not over yet,” I protest as she unlocks her shiny red Mercedes Cabriolet and shoves me inside.
“It is over for us,” she answers me firmly as she starts the engine.
She drives down the main street in silence for a couple of miles. Then she makes a swift turn into a dirt road and keeps driving until we finally reach a small bridge. There, she pulls to the side and turns off the engine. It's quite a nice place. It's isolated and surrounded by trees. I can hear the peaceful sound of water running underneath the bridge.
Wait! What if she's mad at me too, and now she's decided to kill me here?
She gets out of the car, and I follow suit. Oh well, if a lycan decided to kill you, there's no way you can avoid it. Might as well die in the hands of sweet and beautiful Serena rather anyone else's. By anyone else I mean Milan. I bet she'll make it very painful for me.
Sheesh...thinking about my own death is making me hungry. Did I have anything for dinner last night? Or lunch yesterday? Why am I thinking about my own death and food right now? I don't know. I think lack of food and sleep is making me bonkers. I'm losing it. I'm blaming it all on Constantine.
“We're almost in another pack's territory.” Serena points out, breaking my crazy inner monologue. We find a spot to sit on, on the river bank.
We sit quietly listening to the sound of the running river, and the rustling of the leaves and branches, the chirping of birds and the crows in the distance.
“Werewolves are gregarious beings. They like to travel and stay in packs,” she states casually after a while. “Lycans are like that too. It might not seem that way sometimes, but we are. Though we can travel alone, we prefer to be in a pack or at least as a couple. That's one of the reasons mates are important to us,” she explains. “Genesis, whether you realize it or not, we are a pack. A small pack, but a pack nonetheless. You are one of us. You have been for the last three years.”
Wait! I've been a member of a lycans pack for the last three years and I wasn't even aware of it? They're like the elite group in our school that even the populars can't touch. I had been walking around school looking at them all in awe like everyone else, and I was one of them? Oh, my head hurts. Too much thinking in one day.
I comb my fingers through my hair and sit staring at the slow moving water of the river, trying to make sense of everything.
“Wow, we're a very small pack,” I finally comment.
“We are lycans. We don't need numbers. We are strong enough as we are,” replies Serena.
I sigh. “Okay, but what is up with Caspian now? Why is he so mad at me?”
“Remember when I told you that lycans are very possessive?” asks Serena. “Well, we're not only possessive of our own mate, we're possessive of our pack members too. You might be Constantine's mate, but Caspian sees you as ours. He and Lazarus aren't happy that you're close to that human and the other mutts and not being with us.”
“Wait. Are you telling me that instead of having to deal with one, I have three possessive lycans to deal with?”
“Four, actually,” she confesses.
“Serena! Not you too!”
“You're one of us. You're like a sister to me. Any threat of you being taken away from us, we don't like,” she argues defensively.
“But I'm not joining another pack.”
“Yes, but you going with another male is a threat that you're being taken away from the pack, especially since Constantine hasn't fully marked you yet.”
“But he's going to mark Milan...even if I'm not with another man.”
“What? Says who?” She looks aghast.
“Milan..”
“Genesis, Milan says a lot of things. Mostly lies.”
“But there is a lot of truth in there too!”
“Okay...like what?” She challenges me.
“Don't tell me she and Constantine weren't lovers...and didn't they have fun in Russia? Don't tell me she didn't go. What's up with him always defending her?”
“Genesis, listen to me. Yes, they might have a history, but I wouldn't call them lovers. It was over a hundred years ago. I know they haven't been together since I became a part of this pack. Constantine is not interested in her that way. I suspect he never was.
I went with them to Russia too. Those three were there to do their duties, not for pleasure. They need to tie some loose ends so that they're free to come back here again. Constantine, Lazarus, and Caspian were busy the whole time we were there. I barely saw Lazarus,” explains Serena. “Genesis, Constantine thought of no one else but you in Russia. He was busy getting things done so that he can be back here as soon as he can to be with you. Believe me, there's no room for anyone else in his head and his heart.”
“But Milan said..”
“No, don't listen to that bitch. You should talk to Constantine,” she says vehemently. “Genesis, I know you're young, but always talk to your mate first. Constantine and Lazarus are the same in the way that they don't explain things that need explaining. They've been alone for too long to understand that we need explanation sometimes. Ask the right question, and they will talk. They will tell you the truth, but you have to make them explain.
“As for him taking her side, my guess is, it's because he's so used to doing that. Both him and Lazarus are loyal, and are used to defending Milan.”
“He's driving me crazy, though.” I wail, in frustration.
“I know, men. Lazarus does that to me sometimes,” she agrees. “But Genesis, you're driving him crazy too. Constantine and Lazarus are the most cultured, and controlled lycans I know. They're royalty and they're very powerful. They can't afford to lose control easily. Lives could be lost, properties destroyed. I've never seen Constantine lost control more often than these last couple of weeks because of you,” she tells me seriously. Then her lips curl up into an amused smile.
“You really did a number on him. Being around him had been unbearable these last couple of days since the two of you started fighting. Milan had been trying to give him a shoulder to lean on. I don't think that got her anywhere.” She smirks.
“So...you think he's with Milan now?” Jealousy is still searing through me.
Serena laughs. “Oh, I don't think so...he's very pissed when he took off. He'll take anybody's head off if anyone dared to get close to him when he's like that. Even Milan isn't stupid enough to know that.
“If I were you, I wouldn't worry about Milan, Genesis. She's been trying for over a hundred years. If he wanted her, he would have made her his mate a long time ago. Constantine is crazy about you. He's crazy loyal too,” she assures me.
Oh goddess, that's a lot for me to take in. So he didn't spend time alone and having fun with Milan in Russia? Should I believe Serena? She's one of them after all. If I didn't believe her, then it's like me believing Milan over Serena and Constantine. Oh, my head hurts, too much thinking.
Serena drives me back right after our talk. I take a shower to get rid of the smells on me that seem to offend so many people today. I fiddle about for a bit trying to figure out what to do next. It's still quite early, the school isn't out yet. Oh, Constantine...what a mess.
I think I should go for a run. I'm tired of thinking for today. My brain keeps going around and around. It needs some rest, I decided.
I quickly phase and jump out...feeling free. Just me and Ezra. It's exhilarating.
I return a couple of hours later, climbing in through the window, feeling better than I did this morning.
“Where have you been?” asks Constantine, standing in my bedroom.
I almost fell out of the window.
I put a foot in cautiously while keeping a watchful eye on Constantine. Just one of my feet is in, while the rest of my body is still hanging out the window.
Constantine's whole body is tense. His eyes narrow as he watches my every movement as if expecting me to make a run for it at any second. Well now, that doesn't seem like a bad idea.
“Don't even think about it, sweetheart,” he warns. “I'll just catch you, and you won't like what I might do to you once I do.”
Oh uh, this is not good.
“Why don't you come in, my love?” He coaxes me. I don't like the way he's saying that. It sounds too much like a trap. The way he's looking at me is too much like a predator eyeing its prey.
“Uh, I think I'll just stay out here, thank you,” I answer. “I quite like the fresh air,” I add, holding onto the window frame. This is such an awkward position.
“Do you now?” His voice is smooth.
“Uh huh,” I nod my head enthusiastically and gulp audibly. My eyes must be huge on my face as I stare at him warily.
“Maybe I should join you there. I quite like the fresh air myself,” He takes a slow step towards me.
I've never seen him quite like this before, and it's putting me on edge. A loud sound of warning bells starts to go off in my head. There's something about him that seems very dangerous right now. It's there, in the glitter of his watchful silver-gray eyes, in his measured, calculating movement, in the mesmerizing tone of his voice.
Before he gets any closer, I take off.
Ninja!!!
I fling myself as far as I can from the house. As soon as my feet touch the ground, I sprint to the nearest tree and grab a branch to haul myself up.
I'm still in my human form, but I've learned in the last couple of days that I'm getting faster and stronger even without phasing. Maybe not as fast and deadly as in my lycan form, but I'm still very fast.
I can hear the whooshing sound of the wind in my ears as I propel myself forward faster and faster. I push my feet against a tree when my hands barely touch it, to grab another sturdy looking branch.
I sense movement behind me. I try to phase, but I can't seem to concentrate hard enough to do so. My heart is hammering, and my blood is pumping in my ears. Pure adrenaline is rushing through me. I kick harder and swing faster onto further hanging branches and trees. I think I'm losing him.
Suddenly, I feel his presence very close behind me. I fling myself quickly upwards, with my hands outstretch to grab the next tree. I yelp as an arm snatches me in mid-air around my waist. He presses me close to his body and lowers us both to the ground, but he keeps going. His arm is like a steel band around me. There's nothing I can do but to wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.
Oh, he smells heavenly. How I miss his amazing scent. Wait! What am I thinking? Suddenly, I remember his threat. My stomach clench at the thought of what he might do to me.
He's moving very fast. Everything seems to be a blur around me. What was I thinking trying to outrun him?
He keeps going further and further, and I have no idea where we are when he finally stops. He releases his hold on me, and I quickly jump a few feet away from him.
“Now my sunshine, we're all alone,” he utters with some satisfaction. His hair is mussed up sexily. His skin is a bit flushed from all the running he just did. Oh goddess, he's still the sexiest man I've ever laid my eyes on.
“What are you planning to do to me?” I ask him warily.
His eyes rake up and down my body as if he can see through my clothing. “What do you think I would do to you, sunshine?” He sounds amused, almost indulgent. His lips curl up into a feral smile. His silver-gray eyes flashed with anger, hunger, and desperation. It sets my pulse racing.
He's not really amused. I can tell. “Maybe I'm tired of waiting. Maybe I'm tired of chasing after you. Maybe it's time for me to catch you, Genesis.”
Cuddly bunny and fuzzy slippers!
I don't know about this. Do I want to get caught? I'm not waiting around to find out. I look around, trying to think of a way to escape. We're in a grassy clearing, up on top of a mountain, from what I can see. There's only one tree right in the middle of the clearing as if it was planted there. There are trees and mountains for miles around us. Miles and miles of them.
He's very still, standing there silently watching my every movement like a big cat or rather a lycan, waiting for its prey's next move.
He takes one step closer, and I skittishly jump back. He stops as if he's assessing the situation, then deciding to change the tactics.
I have to admit, it confuses me when he casually leans back against the lone tree. “So...what did you do while I was away? Were you busy forming your own reverse harem?” he asks conversationally, linking his hands behind his head. He looks and sounds totally relaxed, but the intensity in his eyes is anything but relaxed.
I gulp nervously, but I figure it's safer to move as far away from him as possible by slowly taking a couple of steps back. “No, I don't know what you're talking about.”
“You never answered me, did you have fun with that alpha mutt at the party you went to? Or was it with the Beta that you disappeared with?” His eyes flash with hurt, anger, and jealousy. I sense that his body is like a tightly coiled spring even when he is leaning passively against the tree.
“Didn't Milan tell you all about it already?”
“Don't you think you're the one who should be telling me all about that? Tell me, did you enjoy your time with those two?”
Talking about Milan makes my blood boil.
“What if I did? What's it to you?” I blurt out angrily.
In a blink of an eye, he's on me. His nose flares and his eyes flash dangerously. His hand goes to my back to pin my body up against his. The other hand grabs the back of my neck while his thumb pushes my chin up so that I'm looking up into his face.
“Don't you dare to say that again. You are mine! Every single inch of you is mine,” he growls possessively. His eyes are darkening around the edges. Me and my big mouth.
“Tell me, sweetheart, did any of them touch these lips?” iHs index finger traces my lips, not very gently, pulling them apart. My lips tingle with pleasure from his touch. “These lips belong to me.”
He pushes his finger into my mouth. My tongue involuntarily comes up to lick his finger. “Did he taste this mouth? This tongue?” His breath teases my skin. “This mouth is mine. This tongue belongs only to me.”
He leans in close. His own lips graze my cheek, delicious explosions of heat spread like wildfire across my skin.
Suddenly, he rips my shirt open. His eyes roam over my exposed body hungrily. “Mine,” he growls as I try to cover myself. He only pulls my ripped shirt all the way off and tosses it aside. “Only I'm allowed to see this. Touch this. I'm never letting you go. I've warned you. It's time for you to remember that.” His voice sounds even deeper now. I can see his canine very clearly. He leans down and licks my neck, and my shoulder, while his canine grazes my skin.