Anyone Ever Died Of Embarrassment?
“Okay, now spill,” orders Penny. We're sitting on her queen size bed while Control by Halsey is playing softly in the background on her I-pod dock on her study table.
My friends managed to corner me at the school parking lot before I could run off. It's not like they don't know where I live, anyway. We're here are Penny's to talk.
“Who did this to you, Genesis? Did he do this?” asks Reese. When she touches my cheek, I wince.
Penny is fuming.
I feel guilty for avoiding them since after lunch yesterday. They've been there for me through thick and thin. I shouldn't keep them in the dark.
“Did Logan do this to you?” asks Penny. She looks like she's about to lose it.
I sigh and start telling them about what happened between me and Logan yesterday and again today.
“He kissed you?” Penny croaks, gawking at me.
“Yep, and he gave me this.” I remove the jacket collar off my neck to show them the bite marks.
“Oh goddess.” Reese gasps. “At least he hasn't marked you yet.”
“I don't know if he ever would. He said he's marking Mia and will make her Luna. He's keeping me on the side...like his personal whore,” I explain heatedly.
“The bastard!” explodes Penny.
“Then he hit you?” asks Reese looking appalled.
“No, this is from Mia.” I point to my red cheek. “She and her minions cornered me to warn me to stay away from Logan. She smelled Logan on me, then she went nuts and slapped me and also gave me this,” I lift up my tank top and show them the bruises on my stomach.
“Okay, here's what we're gonna do,” states Reese calmly. Too calmly. “We're gonna grab the shovels, and dig a hole in my backyard where my new flower bed is going to be. Genesis, you're gonna lure Logan into the woods where Penny and I are going to be waiting. I'm sure the three of us can take him, especially if he's not expecting it. Then we're gonna get Mia. We'll bury them in the flower bed. I know some herbs that can mask their scent.”
She looks totally serious that Penny and I look at each other, then we stare at her worriedly. Wow, angry Reese is totally scarier than angry Penny. Where has my best friend, the sweet and angelic Reese, gone to?
“You're not serious are you?” asks Penny warily.
“Oh, but I totally am,” counters Reese. “They're killing her! Can't you see?” Then she turns to me, and says, “Do you know how long you're going to last if that keeps happening? Do you, Genesis? Look at your stomach now. How much more of that can you take, Genesis? Huh?” Her eyes glisten. I put my arms around her, truly touched by her concern. Penny wraps her arms around the both of us so that the three of us are in a tight group hug.
“I'm grateful that my friends are willing to kill for me. I swear I love you guys like family. You two are my sisters, but we're not killing anybody.” I declare. My voice is muffled against Penny's shoulder, but I think they can hear me.
“I went to the pack's house library and did some research on that yesterday after lunch,” I confess. Yeah, the first time I ever sneaked out of the school.
“So, that's where you disappeared to,” says Penny, releasing us.
“I went through recorded incidences throughout werewolves history and found that I need to...uh, mate and be marked by another werewolf to sever the natural mate bond...or move far far away, preferably join another pack to not to feel the pain anymore,” I explain.
Both Penny and Reese are quiet for a while after what I said.
“You're not moving away from here, so we need to find you a mate,” announces Penny.
“That can be done, but that might take some time,” says Reese.
Actually, “might take some time” is an understatement. What are the chances of finding a male werewolf my age without a mate who would like me? The three of us know this, but none of us are willing to say it aloud.
“Well...I agreed to go out with Kevin this weekend,” I announce casually.
“You did what?” asks Reese, clearly shock. “Didn't we agree that you didn't want to lead him on or something like that?”
“Yeah, about that...” I grimace.
“You need to lose your v-card ASAP,” interrupts Penny.
“Penny..” Reese groans. “Not the v-card again.”
“No, listen! I have my reasons,” explains Penny. “First, Logan needs to know what it feels like when your mate is mating with someone else. Maybe it'll slow him down a bit...who knows,” she says as she rolls her eyes. “Secondly, you really don't want to lose your v-card to your asshole ex-mate, Logan, do you?”
If she puts it like that, no, I don't want my first time to be with someone who has no respect for me; someone who regards me as a cheap omega whore; good enough to be his dirty little secret, but not good enough to be a proper mate. I don't want to be with him. Period.
Gosh! How did we get from planning to kill someone, to losing my virginity? Can my life and my friends get any crazier?
“Maybe it's a good thing that you're going out with Kevin this weekend then.” Penny wiggles her eyebrows.
“Nope. Not happening,” I quickly disagree. “It's gotta be with someone I like...that way, you know..”
“Then who?” asks Reese.
“I don't know...but I know it's not Kevin.”
“Come on, Genesis. There must be someone that you like. Like really really like in our school,” says Penny.
One person quickly comes to mind, but I squish it down. “Nope, none,” I reply.
“You know that's not normal, right? I bet even Reese can think of one other than River.”
“Hey!” protests Reese.
“The fricking school is full of hot men!” argues Penny, lifting her hands up in defeat. “You must have at least one crush. Think of one name,” she urges.
Constantine.
“Nope, nobody,” I repeat.
Constantine. That one name keeps going on repeat in my head. Strong, sharp angular face, dark silky sexy hair, his unusual silver-gray eyes, long thick eyelashes, firm pink lips...
But he's a lycan. Untouchable. I know how impossible that is.
“Aha! There must be someone. You have that look on your face,” exclaims Penny.
“What look?”
“That dreamy, mushy, soppy...oh, I-so-wanna-do-you look...you know, that look,” says Penny.
“I was just thinking about my English essay I'm supposed to hand in tomorrow,” I lie.
“You can't be thinking about English essays when you have that look on your face,” protests Reese.
Penny stares at me with narrowed eyes. I quickly look away and says, “Nope, nobody.”
“You'd better start liking someone pretty quickly, you hear?” demands Penny, pointing her finger at me sternly.
***
I can't seem to stop thinking about Constantine tonight as I lie down flat on my bed, staring at my boring white ceiling. I blame it on Penny.
I first met Constantine at the end of a summer break when I was 15. I never told a soul about it. Not even my two besties. I was at our Art Supply store by myself that afternoon. Dad went to the next town over to deal with something, and mom was meeting a client for a portrait commission.
The delivery guy just delivered boxes of newly shipped merchandise and left them in the hallway. Lazy man. They were too heavy for me to lift to the back storage.
I was standing behind the counter, scowling at the boxes when the bell chimed, indicating a customer at the door. I looked up and there he was.
I stared up at him, and he just stared at me staring at him.
He was so big and tall, radiating with such power and authority and....so beautiful. I had never seen a man so beautiful before, it's almost unreal.
His shoulders were so broad they almost fill out the door. He's wearing black jeans that followed the contours of his well-muscled legs. A white t-shirt that stretched tightly across his well-defined chest and six-pack abs. His tanned golden skin looked as smooth as honey. A few silky locks of that thick, lustrous dark brown hair fell carelessly across his forehead and his strong arched dark brows.
He had perfect symmetrical features with prominent cheekbones, a high bridged straight nose, and a sharp angular jaw that led to a strong chin. What captured me the most was his silver-gray eyes that were surrounded by amazingly thick and long eyelashes. They were so piercing and were regarding me with such intensity that I couldn't look away from even if I wanted to.
I kept staring at him, yet I had no idea when he got so close. One moment he's standing by the door, the next thing I knew, he's standing so close with only inches between us. This close, I can see how unusual his silver-gray eyes were; the pupils were so black, the Irises were actually the palest blue-silver with black rim surrounding them.
“Hi,” I said shyly, trying to look away as I felt my cheeks warming up.
“Hello,” he replied and smiled back. Then I was lost again, staring at his smile. His smile made him looked even more breathtaking. His pink lips looked surprisingly full and sensual. His teeth were straight and white. His canines a little bit prominent, but that only made him look even more dangerous and attractive.
He looked amused, and his lips twitched as if he was trying hard not to laugh.
My cheeks were burning, and my heart was racing.
Oh goddess, I must be looking like a crazy girl in front of this gorgeous god-like creature. What is wrong with me? I never looked at a man this way before.
I cleared my throat and said in my most professional voice. “Hi, how can I help you, sir?” Sir? Oh goddess, really? I felt like banging my head against the wall. He looked about 17 or 18 at the most.
He told me that he needed some painting supplies, so I told him that he could take a look around and just ask if he needed any help.
He kept asking me about the merchandise so that I had to follow him around even though what I really wanted to do was to hide or lie down and die from my embarrassment.
He wasn't even looking at the paint or the medium he was asking me about. His silver-gray eyes were fixed on my face the whole time. My heart stuttered, and my cheeks kept burning up every time I looked up to meet his steady gaze.
Once, I thought he took a sniff of my neck when I was reaching in for a jar of Gesso at the back of the shelf, but when I straightened up, I found that he was staring at rows of oil paints in front of us.
I cursed myself for my wild imagination. Only mates sniff each other like that. At least that's what my mom told me.
He bought a lot of stuff that day. I mean a lot! Including an expensive wooden studio easel, an easy to carry French easel, a studio table, oil paints, acrylics, pastels, canvasses, brushes—a lot. My dad was impressed with the sales that I made that day.
I couldn't stop thinking about him that summer. I felt as if there was a connection between us that day. Then school started, and I found out who or what he was. He was a sophomore even when he looked older than sixteen and had one class with me that year. I guess the feeling was one-sided. He never even looked at me once. I doubt that he even knew I existed. It was foolish of me to think that he might even remember me at all, let alone having a connection.
I was crushed. I tried to pretend that I didn't notice him at all, though I think I still have a crush on him, even now. I just ignored it the best I could. I pretended that I didn't see him around even when I took a little peek at him every once in a while. Just a little.
Well then, if he doesn't even remember me, maybe I can go up and talk to him. But then again, no werewolf nor human ever dared approach or talk to the lycans before. Even those girls who keep looking at them with openly lustful stares. They might talk about how hot those lycans are and how they wish the lycans would pick them as mates, but none of them dared breathe a word to those lycans. The lycans are very aloof and mysterious and intimidating.
If I were to go up to him, what would I even say? “Excuse me, your lordship, your gorgeousness...would you please take my v-card?” Then I'll die of embarrassment for sure.
Or maybe say, “Excuse me, Constantine...you gorgeous creature you, would you take my v-card? Please? Here are five hundred dollars...uh, a hundred and twenty-three dollars and fifty cents, actually. Sorry, I went shopping with my buddies. So yeah, would you?” Then I'll double die.
Arrgghh...I groan into my pillow.
Maybe I should just ask him if he wanted to be friends. Yeah, that's a better idea. I mean, even a lycan could use a werewolf friend, right? You can't have too many friends, as dad said to me a few times.
Okay, that's it. That's what I'll do tomorrow. Once we're friends, we'll see what will happen...or more likely, what will never happen.
Well...whatever. I'm a grown, brave and strong woman. I can so do this. Yeah!
Easier said than done because I was nervous the whole day. Penny kept asking me what was wrong.
It's at the end of school hour when all students are leaving that I gather enough courage to approach him. I figure, if he said no to my offer of friendship, I don't have to bump into him again, thus avoiding anymore embarrassment...for the day at least.
I look frantically around, determined to do this before I lose my courage. Students are rushing past me when I catch a glimpse of the three lycans. It's not that hard to catch them actually since they're way taller than the rest of the student body.
They are walking casually like they have nowhere important to get to while other students are scurrying out the exit door.
When the hallway is almost clear, I briskly walk up to them from behind. Before I lose my courage, I tap him on the shoulder. “Excuse me, Constantine? Can I talk to you for a minute?” Wow, I sound so strong and confident.
He turns around, and words died in my throat.
Oh goddess, he's so beautiful and perfect and big...and intimidating. What was I thinking?
He raises an eyebrow in question when I stand there gaping at him with my mouth open. I'm sure I look like a fish. A dying fish.
I gulp. “Uh...forget it. Never mind... Sorry. Umm...bye!” Then I turn and run.
Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!
Has anyone ever died of embarrassment? Because that's what I'm about to do...go die.