Fifteen

 

Paige

 

 

A little dancing with my mom, dad, sister, brother, friends. A lot of teasing me for not drinking alcohol. Even though they know I'm not a big drinker. Even if I could do with a bottle of vodka or two right now.

Right now, drinking isn't something I should be doing. Not until I've made a decision at least. That and I wouldn't while on a date with Dr. Mark Sloan. Who I might add has charmed my mother no end.

“He's amazing, darling. And you look so good together.”

“Thanks, mom.” If I'm going to do this then I have to let people believe he and I have something special, even if there is no spark whatsoever between us. Well, not for me at least. I don't even know what to do yet, so why would I even be thinking having a relationship with him is a good idea? 

“Bob and I are about to leave. Freddy is taking care of Layah for us, and you take care out there in LA. I'm going to miss you. Call every day.”

“I'll miss you too, mom. And I will, I promise.” I hug her tightly followed by Bob.

We all wave them off as they set off for their honeymoon in Paris. My mom didn't want to leave Layah but Freddy assured my mom that nothing would happen to her while he's still breathing. It took a while, but she eventually agreed. Freddy then paid for our parent's honeymoon as a wedding present. Much to our parent's joy.

Mark offers to take me home and I agree, I'm exhausted and I just want to take a hot bath and go to bed. I tell him I'm just going to the restroom before we leave. I have to pee so much just lately that it's driving me crazy. I'm not sure that's even normal at this stage. But then, I'm thirsty all of the time, so that may have something to do with it.

I wash my hands and dry them on a paper towel after peeing. I then take a deep breath. I have so much on my mind it just seems never ending.

“Mind telling me what you think you're doing.”

I scream and turn full circle. What the fuck? “What the hell, Enzo? You almost gave me a heart attack!” My heart is literally beating ten times faster than is normal! How could he sneak up on me like that? “Why are you sneaking up on me?”

“Why did you bring that jackass here?”

“Because he's my date.”

“You don't even like him, Paige.”

“Yes, I do,” I say proudly while folding my arms around my body. He's too intimidating when he's in this mood. And I'm powerless against him. He snaps his fingers and I drop to my knees before him. Literally. He has so much power over me that I don't know who I am any longer. “He and I have a lot in common. Now if you don't mind, he's taking me home.”

“You gonna sleep with him?” He takes a step toward me and I take one back. I don't want to do this here. I just don't have the strength to fight him. But I'm so emotionally exhausted that I just can't take anymore. He was right, he's bad for me. He's breaking my heart a little every day, but I don't know how much is left for him to break.

He's right in front of me, his hands pressed against the wall beside my head. “Please don't do this, Enzo.”

“Answer me.”

“Yes,” I answer as strongly as I can. His body tenses, his eyes close, and his jaw clicks. He's angry, but I don't understand why. “I can't keep doing this. You once told me that I was worth more than what Kyle thought of me. You have to know that I am worth more than what you think of me.”

“Don't tarnish me with his brush, Paige.”

“How can I not, Enzo? You fuck me, you walk away from me. You tell me to move on, I try, you get like this... All possessive and angry. What the hell do you want from me?!” He doesn't say anything he just looks at me. He seems confused. How many times am I going to let him do this to me? “You treat me like a piece of meat.”

“What the hell? I do not treat you like...”

“Yes!” I cut him off. “Yes, you do. You know how I feel about you. You know and you use it against me to keep me in line.”

“Paige, that is not true.” He looks shocked, hurt maybe. But it is true, can't he see that?

“Yes, it is. You don't want me but you don't want anyone else to have me either. Why aren't I good enough for you?” Tears are pricking my eyes again and I'm not sure I can stop them falling. “I try so hard to be what you want me to be. I am always there for you, I do everything and anything you ask of me. Yet it's never good enough. Am I not smart enough, thin enough? Am I not pretty enough? What, Enzo? Please tell me so I can fix it.”

“You think I want you to change for me?”

“Don't you?” I ask quietly, my voice thick with emotion.

He steps back from me, and I'm glad because I'm trying so hard not to throw up here. I could tell him my secret, I could tell him and he'd either be with me or walk away. But I don't think I could face either. I'd die if he walked away from me for good, and I would never want him to be with me just because he felt like he had to be. I want him to be with me because he wants to be, because maybe he loves me the way I love him.

Yeah, not going to happen, Paige.

He grips the washbasin and hangs his head. “Go to your man, Paige. Let him take you home. Go have a relationship with him and have the life you deserve. Get as far away from me as you can.”

I close my eyes and clasp my hand over my mouth. I don't want to cry in front of him. I don't want to look weak or make him think he should... Never mind. I have to get out of here, I can't do this anymore.

I don't say anything to him. I just wipe my eyes, smooth down my hair and dress, take a deep breath and leave the room. I sensed he wanted to say something to me, but what's left to say? He doesn't want me and nothing I say or do will ever change his mind. I'm done being his plaything. Time to move on...

 

* * *

 

What am I doing? Enzo breaks my heart so I invite a man into my home to pin me against the wall and do what? I stupidly let Mark in when he asked if we could have coffee. It's late and I knew he meant he wanted to sleep with me. Of course, we only got through the door before he pinned me to the wall beside it, kissing me like a starving man. His mouth is on my neck right now, he hands squeezing my aching breasts. Aching but not from arousal.

He mumbles something against my skin and all I can do is ball my hands up in fists by my sides, close my eyes and let the frustrated tears fall. I have never felt so used and unwanted by anyone in my life. I really thought he liked me. I thought maybe deep down he even loved me. But Enzo doesn't love me, he never has and he never will love me.

“Shall we go upstairs?”

I tilt my head to the side, the vibrations of his voice sent shivers of disgust through me. It's not Mark's fault. He hasn't done anything wrong. It's me, I'm ruined for anybody but Lorenzo Ryker.

I know a lot of women decide to sleep with another man so they can pin their pregnancy on him. Whatever their reasons for doing that, it's their reasons. But I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like a cheap whore, and I don't want that. I don't want to sleep with Mark and pass my baby off as his. I want Enzo to know his child... When the time is right.

“Maybe we shouldn't do this.”

He sighs and pulls away from me. “Why are you such a fucking prick tease?” He snaps.

My mouth hangs open in shock. “What the hell, Mark. I am not a prick tease. That's not what I'm doing here.”

“Come off it, Paige. You've been doing exactly that since the day I met you.”

“I haven't. I'm sorry if that's the way I came across to you...” I scream involuntarily when he grabs my upper arms and angrily pushes me back against the wall. Oh my god, what the hell? “Let go of me, Mark!”

“I'm sick of you flirting with me, working me up, and then giving me the brush off!” He hisses through his teeth while shaking me. His fingers are digging into my arms painfully. “You can get on your knees and suck my dick, it's the least you can do.”

“In your dreams. Get your fucking hands off me!”

Why do men have to blindside you and hit you with the back of their hand? It really fucking hurts! I can hardly see and I think I've sprained my wrist trying to break my fall, not to mention my hip is on fire. I really landed hard. I'm not the typical skinny girl and falling when you have a little weight on your bones hurts!

I scream as he grabs my hair and pulls me onto my knees in front of him. I can't use my left wrist but there's nothing wrong with my right. I hit out at him, trying frantically to get away from him. But he's tearing my hair out, so much so I can feel my scalp bleeding. Is he really going to scalp me? Because seriously, that's how it feels.

I whimper as he opens the zip on his pants. “Now, you're gonna be a good girl and do as you're told, aren't you?”

“I swear to God if you put that thing anywhere near my mouth I'll bite it off. And I'll call the police. Have you forgotten who my brother is?”

He laughs sardonically. “Paige, Paige, Paige. Does it look like I care who your brother is? I am a well-respected doctor. What makes you think anyone will believe you?”

“The fact everyone in this town knows me. I swear, they'll run you out of town if Enzo doesn't kill you first!” Enzo. God how I wish he was here with me right now.

Mark's eyes darken, his hand tightens in my hair. And I know deep inside I'm not going to get out of this. I can fight to the death but he's going to assault me one way or another. I have no one to blame for this but myself.

 

* * *

 

I've been sitting with my phone in my hand for half an hour. I think I'm in shock, I don't know what to do. My head really hurts, it's still bleeding. It hurts too much to touch. My jaw hurts, and so do my hands. I've broken a few nails. I don't know what to do, I can't cry, I can't speak, I can't move. I need to call somebody. I need help, but I'm too ashamed.

Who can I call?

My mom isn't here. My brother is taking care of my little sister and I don't want to frighten her. Which also means I can't call Della. I think most of my friends will be home with the partners and children by now, probably in bed.

In the past, I wouldn't have hesitated to call Enzo, but I can't do that now. I have no one to help me and I'm so scared. I fought back, I fought back really hard. I gave him a few injuries of his own. And I am going to report him to the police. There is no way on this earth that son-of-a-bitch is going to get away with what he's done to me. But can I really involve anyone else?

I know I'm going to have to tell Sheriff Harper everything, and that's going to be hard enough, but I don't think I can repeat what happened to Freddy. Everyone is going to find out what happened to me. How could Mark not realize that?

I really need to make myself get up, I have to go to the hospital. I'm a nurse and I know I have injuries that need looking at. He didn't rape me. I suppose that's one thing I can be grateful for. But I need them to check for DNA, skin under my fingernails and such. I may feel ashamed but I have to do it. I can't let that bastard do this to someone else.

If my mother taught me anything in this life it's to never let a man get away with hurting you. If you do, he will do it to someone else.

Shakily, I scroll through my contact list, if anybody knows what it's like to be attacked it's Callie. But can I put her through this after everything she's been through in her life? I really want to call Della, she's my very best friend, but she's married to my brother and I can't have him see me like this.

“Hello?” She's still at the party, I can hear the music.

“C-Callie... um... how-how's the party?”

“Hey!” She sounds so happy. “It's great. Winding down now, there's just a handful of us left.” She giggles. “Is everything okay? I thought you'd be fucking the night away with Dr. Mark.”

“No,” I'm trying to sound strong, but right now, I don't feel it.

“Paige,” Her tone is suddenly serious. “What's wrong? Has he done something to you?”

I'm quiet for a moment. I don't know how to tell her that I need her help. I never ask anyone for anything. I'm strong, I don't get myself in situations like this, ever.

“Paige, tell me what he's done right now!”

“He...” I swallow hard. “He... I...” Then I hear his voice, Enzo. He's there with her, asking her what's wrong. Shit, I can't tell her when she's with him. “It doesn't matter. I'll see you later.” I end the call quickly and drop my phone beside me and cry into my hands, all the time my phone ringing like crazy...