Eleven

 

Paige

 

 

My head is a total mess. Enzo is fucking my head up left, right, and center. He tells me to move on, yet every time I come close to it, he fucks me like I'm some dirty little fuck toy. Once he's finished, he tells me to move the fuck on before walking away from me.

Take last week for instance. Not only did he drag me into a supply closet at work, spank and fuck my brains out, two days later, after I agreed to go on a date with Mark, a doctor I work with, Enzo practically kidnapped me on the way home from work.

Yeah, I'm being totally serious.

There I was walking toward my house after popping to the store for milk when a figure pops out from behind a tree. Totally fucking creepy. Grabs my arm and pulls me behind it. I dropped the milk, of course, tried to scream, but his mouth cut me off. He kissed me so fucking hard I couldn't breathe, my lips were swollen, my pussy ached.

His body was pressed against me, pinning me in place. He wrapped his hand around my throat and asked me what the fuck I thought I was doing agreeing to a date with, “Dr. fuck face” as he referred to Mark as.

Like I told him, “You told me to go on a date with him. You told me to move on.”

His eyes burned like hellfire. He was so angry with me and I didn't understand why. “Move on, Paige, but not with a man like him.”

Mark had been a dick to me when we first met, but he'd tried to be nice all week. I don't particularly want to sleep with him, there's no spark there for me, but it should be my choice, not Enzo's.

“You confuse me, Enzo.” That was putting it lightly.

He looked me dead in the eye for a moment, smirked, and then smashed his lips against mine. He became frantic, dragging my shorts down my legs, my panties at the same time. I'd only got them off one leg before he grabbed my ass and lifted me up, my legs around his waist, his cock deep inside of me on the first push. He thrust into me so hard I could hardly hold onto him. And thank god for my shirt or the bark of that tree would have really ripped my back apart.

I came hard around him, he came hard and deep inside of me. I rested my forehead against his, one hand on his face, the other on the back of his neck, his hands on my ass, holding me against him, cock still inside of me. All I wanted in that moment was for him to tell me he loved me, that he wanted us to be together.

But what did he do?

He pulled out of me, dropped me to my feet and told me to hurry up and get dressed before the neighbors saw me. I did. And without one more word to me, he took off as fast as he could with that cast on his ankle. He left me there in a pool of frustrated tears and feeling like I was nothing. 

How was that fair to me?

How is any of it fair?

It's not. Not at all.

I don't know how much more I can take. He confuses me to the point of insanity. He plays on my feelings for him. There is no way he doesn't know how I feel about him. But all I am to him is a toy he plays with when he's bored.

I can't even be sure he's not sleeping with others as well as me. I'd like to think that's not true, especially when he fucks me bareback each time, he comes inside of me too. No. He wouldn't fuck me if he was fucking someone else.

Why do I let him do this to me all of the time?

Why can't I be stronger and tell him no?

Why can't I push him away when he touches me and takes what he wants from me?

Because I'm weak where that man is concerned. So very fucking weak and I hate that about myself.

But I'm done thinking about him right now. I have more important things to think about, like my mother's wedding next week. It's been a while since we spent any real time together. But today, we're having lunch. Some mother and daughter time. Just her and me.

“Are you bringing a date to the wedding?”

I shake my head, “I don't think so, mom. There's no one I want to ask.” Just Enzo, but I know he won't go with me, that would mean outing himself to my brother, and he won't do that. I'm not worth the hassle. I could ask Mark, but that might give him the wrong idea about us. “Besides,” I smile, “This is your day, and I can't wait! Are you nervous?”

“No, I'm not nervous. But I can't wait to finally be his wife. I've never loved anybody the way I love him.”

Seeing my mother smiling like this, it means everything to me. Even though she's been with Bob for a good few years now, she never believed she deserved to be happy. Much like Enzo. But I'm glad that my mother is finally seeing that she does.

“He loves you just as much, mom.”

“He does, doesn't he?”

I laugh and nod my head.

I suddenly feel a little lightheaded, and my stomach is churning. This has happened to me three days in a row now. Every time I eat something, I feel like I want to throw up.

Yeah, yeah, I know what it means, I'm a nurse, I'm not dumb. And in my heart, I know what's happening within me, but I'd like to think I'm just like everyone else who denies the truth.

But the thing is, I can't deny it as much as I want to. That's why as soon as lunch with my mom is over and we've had our final dress fittings, I say goodbye and take myself to the pharmacy. It's embarrassing going in there for what I need, I know old Mrs. Baker will tell my mother, and that's why I don't go in. I can't risk my mom finding out anything just yet.

My best bet it to grab a test at work. No one will think anything of a nurse grabbing a pregnancy test. So that's what I do the very next day, grab a test from the store room. I grab six actually and do one every hour of my six-hour shift.

Each test is shoved in my bag in my locker until it's time to go home. I haven't looked at one yet. I'm beyond nervous.

As soon as I'm home, I take a shower and change into pj's before I pluck up the courage to take those tests from my bag. But for some reason, I can't look.

What if I'm pregnant?

What will I do?

How the hell will I tell Enzo?

He'll think I did this to trap him into a relationship he doesn't want with me. I would never do that. If I am pregnant, he'll flip the fuck out, especially after what happened with Charlie. I would never want to put him through that, but this won't be the same thing. I'm not Autumn.

God, I don't know what could have gone wrong, I'm on the pill, have been for years. Okay, it's not one hundred percent, and Enzo hasn't once worn a condom, but... god, I'm terrified!

“Just look, Paige. Put yourself out of your misery. You never know, it could be negative.” I tell myself while grabbing the first test.

My heart is racing like you wouldn't believe. My stomach is still churning and I'm about ten seconds away from throwing up.

I turn the test over in my hand and just stare at it. I'm not seeing anything. It's like my brain has blocked off my vision for a moment.

I don't know how long I stare at it before I actually shake my head and take a good look, but I wish I hadn't. 

Two pink lines.

Pregnant.

I grab the next one.

Pregnant.

The next.

Pregnant.

The fourth one.

A plus sign.

Pregnant.

The fifth.

Pregnant.

I grab the last one.

Pregnant.

Ho-ly-fuck-ing-hell! I'm pregnant with Enzo Ryker's baby!

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

What the hell am I going to do?

I lay my hand on my stomach and just cry. Enzo isn't going to want to know, he suffered so badly when baby Charlie died. She may not have been his biologically, but it almost killed him as if she was. He'll be so scared that something will happen to this baby to take it away from him. He hides his heart from love because he's lost so much. Could I really sit back and let my child suffer a father that can't love it?

What am I going to tell people? Because I'm keeping the baby no matter what. This is my baby, mine and Enzo's. He might not want anything to do with the baby or me, but I'll always be there for my child.

Am I even ready for this?

How am I going to manage on my own?

I pull myself onto my bed and curl up, tears falling as I sob myself to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I'll know what to do... I hope.