Three

 

Paige

 

 

Three days of being Lorenzo Ryker's nurse should have been the highlight of my life. Him confined to his bed while I tended to him in every way imaginable. I couldn't have thought of anything better, my fantasy come true.

Until it became a reality.

He has been nothing but an ass to me the whole time. Nothing I do is good enough. Either I'm being too harsh on his body when trying to help him sit up in a better position, or I'm too rough when giving him a sponge bath, which he won't allow me to do around his private parts. Mores the damn pity. What I wouldn't give to touch that!

But it's my job and I am nothing but professional. But he'd rather do it himself while moaning about not being able to take a shower. Which for some reason, he feels is my fault! How that is possible I'll never know. But he is in a cast, how is he supposed to shower with a cast on his ankle? Pretty soon Dr. Anderson will show him how to bathe and shower without getting his cast wet. Until then, bed baths it is.

If that's not bad enough he snaps at me left, right, and center about every little thing you can think of. I brought his dinner to him earlier and he yelled at me so loudly I dropped the tray, dropping everything on the floor. Sonny jumped up from his seat to help me pick things up, but I've never been so embarrassed in all my life. I hadn't even done anything wrong. I walked in and he screamed at me for not knocking. I didn't even think about it. I should have.

After I got him fresh food, I made sure to knock the door, and then hand the tray to Sonny and leave as quickly as I could.

I thought about asking Tia, my superior, to hand his care over to someone else. I just can't cope with being spoken to like I'm some kind of idiot who doesn't know what she's doing. Or at least making his life difficult on purpose. I'm good at my job. I enjoy it. I've never had any complaints from other patients before now. Okay, I haven't been working here as long as most, but in the time I have I've built up a good reputation with the patients.

All I have ever done is try to be there for Enzo. When Autumn took her own life, I was the one there to take care of him, making sure he didn't wallow in self-pity, making sure he remembered to eat, to bathe, to get up.

Okay, he didn't want my help then either, but I stuck with it because he needed me. I stayed on his couch every night for weeks in order to make sure he had someone there for him. No matter what he said to me then I knew not to take it to heart because he was grieving.

Right now, I honestly think he's enjoying hurting my feelings every minute of the day. I try to let it go, to brush it to the side like it means nothing. And it never means anything coming from other patients. I can always smile and take it on the chin because I know they don't really mean it, they're just in pain. But with Enzo, I know he means it, and that hurts so much. I will never be anything to him other than the annoying little sister of his best friend. 

I managed to get through my shift without asking to pass his case on to someone else. He's being released tomorrow, according to Dr. Anderson, and I cannot wait! At least once he's discharged I can get back to patients that appreciate what I do. Even so, I'm about to check in on him before I go home for the night. Yes, I'm a glutton for punishment.

I take a deep breath before knocking his door and opening it before he has a chance to answer. I know he's alone because his brother and mine left over an hour ago. He's lying in his bed topless and looking at the TV on the wall, watching some car racing film. Typical man.

God, his muscles flex as he moves. He has the body of a God, an eight pack – literally – to die for, biceps that would rival Zeus himself, thick thighs. And the lord knows I want to feel, lick, and fuck every inch of him.

I have to shake my head of thoughts about his body and what I would give anything to do with it and focus.

“What do you want?!”

I physically jump at his tone.

Why does he hate me so much all of a sudden? I hate feeling like this.

“I...I just want to make sure you're okay before I take off.” I wrap my arms around myself.

“Will you just stop fucking checking up on me, you're not my mother!”

I clutch my chest, it's becoming tight and painful. I breathe deep to ward off the panic attack threatening to escape me.

Why is he always such a bastard to me?

What have I done to him?

I really don't understand.

“I'm sorry.” It was barely a whisper. But I can't seem to talk, my emotions are threatening to spill over. I don't cry, crying just is not me, but he makes me want to sometimes. “I was just...”

“I know what you were doing, and I'm telling you for the last time... This,” he points between us, “will never happen. What's it gonna take for you to get that through your thick skull? I don't want you!”

Wow. Just wow. I don't know what to say to him. Our eyes lock for a long moment before he turns away from me, his features tortured. I don't know what's going through his head, but there was really no need to speak to me like that. All I'm doing is trying to help him, not get him into bed... Although I wouldn't mind that.

“I don't know what I've done to make you hate me so much,” I swallow hard. “But I'm sorry. All I was doing was my job, and coming to check on you was me just trying to be your friend. I realize now you don't want that. I'm sorry and I won't bother you anymore.” I don't want for him to respond before leaving his room. What would have been the point?

 

* * *

 

I've only made it home before my mother calls to ask me to come over to her house. She said she had something really important to speak to me about. I jump into the shower first. I need to wash the day away. I blow dried my hair before pulling on jeans and a green sweater, and my black ankle boots. I then braid my hair and leave for my mom's. I'm far too tired to apply makeup or even eat dinner first.

Once I get this over with I plan on picking up a pizza and going home to watch a film. Which I fully intend to fall asleep in front of. It has been so long since I had a decent nights sleep that I've had a full on headache for two days.

If staying awake from over forty-eight hours wasn't bad enough, since Enzo became my patient I've slept maybe two hours a night. Plus, I'm always beating my brains out trying to understand why he hates me all of a sudden. The only thing I ever come back to is the fact he's still grieving for Autumn and Charlie. I'm never going to be the one he confides. He's going to meet a girl one day who will crack through that wall he's built against his heart, and she'll be everything to him, and I'll be even more heartbroken than I already am.

So yeah, I'm pretty damn sleep deprived right now. 

My mother lives on the other side of town with her long-term boyfriend, my stepdad in every way but legally, and my baby sister. I say baby sister because she's sixteen years younger than me. Layah is seven years old and so beautiful it's unreal. Layah and I don't have the same father, though. Obviously. 

Not to say that that is a bad thing, because believe me, it is the most amazing thing to ever have happened. Layah is very lucky in that respect. My father was a violent man. A very, very violent man. He used both my mother and me as punch bags for years. When he found out my mother was pregnant again, he stopped hurting her. My mother hadn't intended to get pregnant, she'd been having the contraceptive injection for years to prevent any accidents. But she'd been ill for months because my father had beaten her half to death. He took what he wanted from her and she ended up pregnant.

Of course, the, “No hurting Kim” lasted all of two weeks. Two weeks until he kicked that baby boy out of her body. Christ, she was so ill I thought I'd lose her. I was so frightened, I was five years old and he kept telling me how it was my fault mommy had to be punished. My fault because I was bad.

My mom tried so hard to leave him after that. So hard but failed every time. In the end, we ran. He was at work one day and she grabbed a bag for her and one for me, and the little money she'd managed to save without my father knowing. We walked into the town we lived in and climbed aboard a bus that took us miles and miles away. We stumbled onto this little town of Oak Springs and managed to rent the house my mother still lives in.

We didn't have much but what we had we took care of. I made a lot of friends at school. And I couldn't deny that I settled into small town life very quickly. Of course, I was jumpy for a while, always wondering if my father was going to find us. It wasn't so easy to push the horrors of what he put us through out of my head. But then, what child ever truly moves on from that kind of thing easily? None. That's how many. 

My mother met a man, Bob, who worked at the local garage. A strong mechanic with big muscles, tanned skin, and beautiful deep brown soulful eyes. They got close and started spending a lot of time together. They maintained they were just friends for a while. I guessed my mother didn't trust men after the hell she'd been through with my father. But they fell in love, and Bob, Freddy's father, took really good care of my mom. He made her believe in love and life and herself.

Freddy and I became close, and I loved having a big brother around to look after me. Being eight years older than me meant he really was my big brother. Freddy's mother had died when he was ten and he was happy that he'd finally got a family to love him, and he loved my mother and me.

My mom soon found herself pregnant. She was so scared, but Bob soon made her see that he would never allow anything to happen to her. I've never seen a man love a woman as much as Bob loves my mom. He was with her when Layah was born. Freddy and I were outside waiting for news. Bob was the very proud daddy, I must say. He may not be my father by blood but he treats me like a father would his daughter.

Speaking of father, mine finally tracked us down after years of searching for us. Layah was just three months old at the time, my mother was still recovering after a tough labor. He attacked my mother and took off with Layah. He took her only to punish my mother and Bob, simply because he believed she had no right to cheat on him with another man and have his child. Not that she'd cheated on him because she wasn't even with him, we'd been gone from his life for years. She may not have filed for divorce, but that was only because she was scared he'd find us if she did.

He took Layah because my mother wouldn't tell him where I was. At the time, I was with Enzo. He was taking care of me and Della. We should have been walking home, but Sonny asked us to go over to his house for ice cream with Callie. Enzo kept us all entertained. If he hadn't, my father would have found me and God only knows what would have happened to me.

Of course, my mother was distraught. She'd built such a bond with Layah, a bond she never got to build with me because my father refused to allow her to hold me when I was a baby. She could only hold me when she was feeding me. Any other time, I was left to cry. Bob told my mother if she never wanted to put Layah down, then he was okay with that. And believe me, when I say, she never wanted to put her down. 

Luckily for us, Della's father, the town sheriff, soon tracked my father down to an abandoned warehouse in Turner's Pass. He was arrested, and my sister reunited with my terrified mother. He hadn't harmed Layah, thank God. But my mother refused to let either of us out of her sight after that, even with my father out of the way, she couldn't relax. But Bob was always there to make her see that nothing would ever happen to any of us ever again, because we were his girls, and along with Freddy, we were – are – his life.

My father was sentenced to ten years in prison. Ten years because he shot a police officer. The officer didn't die, but he was injured. My father also made it clear to anyone that would listen that he would kill anyone who got in his way. In the way of him finding his wife and daughter. Anyone who tried to keep him away from them. The judge told my father that he would never get to hurt my mom and me ever again.

I don't know how the judge could have promised that. There are never any guarantees. Especially with men like Christopher West. I'm only glad my mother changed our surnames when she left him. Not that she uses Monroe either, she hasn't since my sister was born. Estella is her name, just like Bob, Freddy, and Layah. Why don't I have that surname? I don't know. But I feel like the outside in the family. I guess I just don't feel worthy of taking Bob's name.

My mom was finally able to breathe easily, though, after my dad was sent to prison. Because she finally felt safe. Safe with the man she loved more than anything in this world and their little girl. Of course, my mother wanted to pack up and leave at first, scared that we'd never be safe. Bob, the miracle worker that he is where my mother is concerned, talked her down.

It was because of what happened with my father that Freddy decided to become a cop. And he's a damn good one. Deputy sheriff. He singlehandedly saved Callie Ryker's life, after she was attacked by a madman a couple years ago now. Freddy, through the shop front window of Callie's bakery, where the madman held her hostage, fired a bullet that hit the guy straight in head and outright killed him. He was the town hero. And we're all so proud of him.

My mom may have felt safe enough to stay here after my father went to prison, but me not so much. Everywhere I turned for two years after my dad was sentenced, I felt like he was watching me, or that he had people watching me. I was terrified someone would snatch me and take me to him, because I thoroughly believed he'd break out of prison and find me.

Enzo was the one who sat with me and explained how his father had been the same as mine. A violent bully. How his father beat the hell of his mother constantly. The only difference between his father and mine was that his father never laid a hand on him or Sonny. His mother took everything his father had to give in order to protect them. Even if that meant defying him and pushing her son's out of the house so they couldn't get hurt. My mom tried to protect me but it wasn't easy to protect me from my father. He was just... I don't even want to think about him anymore. My life has been good for seven years. I don't need to dwell on the past.

 

* * *

 

“Paige!” I'm almost knocked off my feet. My sister may be small for her age, but she's like a bull in a China shop when she's excited.

“Hey,” I hug my little sister tightly. I've missed her more than I realized. “Where's mom?”

“Mom and dad are in the kitchen waiting for you.” 

I make my way to the kitchen with my arm wrapped around my baby sisters shoulder. We look nothing alike, my sister and me. She has brown eyes and tanned skin, I have green eyes a pale white skin. In all honesty, she's the image of Freddy.

I don't even look like my mother. Even she has brown eyes. The only thing I have in common with any of them is the color of my hair. Not that I keep my hair brown often, I'm always dying it some funky color or another. Right now, it's a deep burgundy red. I always did like to look different. I guess that's why I have a few tattoos, and one or two piercings in places you wouldn't show your parents... if you get my drift.

I guess what makes me look so different from my family is the fact I am quite pale, and they're all tanned, even my mother. Well, she would being half Spanish. I feel the odd one out with them all when it shouldn't feel like that because I'm treated just the same as my siblings. But sometimes, I think my mom looks at me and sees the monster that hurt her for so many years. It pains me to know that I look like him, that I remind her of him. I'd give anything to look like her instead. I hate that I remind her of painful times. Not that she's ever said anything of the sort, nor has she ever made me feel like she thinks that.

But I can't help feeling it somewhere inside.

My mom, Bob, and Freddy are all sitting around the kitchen table waiting for me, drinking coffee and chatting happily.

“This looks ominous. What's going on?”

My mother smiles at me. She seems really happy but really nervous at the same time. My mom is really pretty for a woman of forty-four. Long brown hair, brown eyes, a big bright smile. One I never saw until she met Bob. And she has the figure of a woman half her age, too.

“Mommy and Daddy are finally getting married!” My baby sister couldn't be more excited if she tried.

Freddy congratulates them, hugging his father and then my mother. Bob and my mom have been together so long now, I'm surprised they weren't married years ago. I am happy for them, but I think I'm a little shocked at the same time. Or maybe I'm just so damn sleep deprived that I'm not really sure the scene playing out in front of me is actually happening. That, and once my mom marries Bob it will just cement that I'm not part of them. Freddy has never felt that way. But me? I can't shake it.

My mom turns to me with a shy smile on her face. “Aren't you going to say anything, sweetheart?”

“When did this happen?”

“Bob asked me last night. Well, he's asked me every month for years.” She laughs happily.

“She finally said “yes” last night.”

“What took you so long?” Why am I snapping at her? She doesn't deserve that. But it has taken her a long time to say yes to him. They've been together so long now I thought they would have been married when I was still a little girl.

“What's wrong with you?”

“Why would anything be wrong with me, Freddy? Apart from the fact, you'll actually be my brother.” I made the last part sound like a joke. I needed to make light of the fact my mom has shocked me. I don't want her to think I'm against her marrying the man she loves more than anything.

But the fact she'll finally have Bob's surname officially and not just pretend like she has for years now is bothering me. Why would it be bothering me? Since she was pregnant with my sister she's used Bob's surname as her own. I've always felt so left out with them all. I hate it.

“Bitch.” He laughs and hugs me. 

“Paige?” I turn to look at my mom. She smiles while pulling me into her arms. “What's wrong, sweetheart?”

“Nothing.”

“No matter what, you will always be everything to me.”

“I know that, mom.” I pull away from her and smile. She can see something's bothering me, I also know she won't say anything else about it in front Bob, Freddy, and Layah. Thank God. I'm not in the mood for a heart to heart right now.

“Congratulations...” I forget sometimes that Bob isn't my father, and sometimes I almost say the word to him. I have no idea what stops me so much, it's not he would mind.

Bob hugs me tightly. I don't normally like being touched like this by anyone. Yes, I hug my mom, sister, my friends. But it's always chastised, always has been. I think that's another reason why Kyle fucked around behind my back. I was never the touchy-feely, desperately need you, kind of lover.

But right now, being hugged by Bob feels nice. “I'm not sure what's upsetting you right now,” He speaks quietly in my ear while my mother and Freddy are lost in conversation. “But know that I'm here for you. Just as I'm here for your brother and sister. You are my daughter as much as Layah is, Paige.” He pulls away from me and cups my face. “You know that, don't you?” I nod because I do know that, deep in my heart, I know that. “I love you very much, sweetheart.”

“I love you, too, Dad.” There I said it. And I must say, my heart feels lighter. The smile on his face tells me he's waited a long time to hear me call him dad. He hugs me tightly again before kissing my head.

After congratulating my mother on her engagement, and the fact the wedding is booked for Christmas Eve, and promising her I'll talk to Callie about making her wedding dress, I make my excuses to go home. I'm beyond tired but something is playing on my mind. Who's going to take care of Enzo when he leaves hospital? He's got a broken ankle and cracked ribs. He lives alone. How is he going to manage with no one to help him?

Because I know he won't let Sonny and Callie help him. He's too proud for that. And he doesn't have any other family living here in Oak Springs. He has distant family in Maine, but he won't have them come here to help him. Enzo is a proud man, a very private man.

Even after everything he said to me, even after the way he made me feel, I still can't walk away from him. I should, he doesn't deserve my help. No, there's only one thing for me to do. Go back to the hospital to see him. I just hope he doesn't bite my head off again. I'm so damn tired that I might just punch him.