As soon as we finished the video chat, I hesitated for a minute about my next steps. I wanted to know who sent Leah or the reason for her coming to the island. The suspense is killing me, and I didn’t have the patience of a saint.

“David, I’m in the office,” I say as I pick up my phone to call him. He didn’t respond as he hung up and I impatiently wait in my office.

He’s a man of few words, but right now, everything feels as if it’s spiraling out of control and I feel as if I’m going to lose my fucking mind. Only Friday, I was thinking about finding love once again, and today, I’m thinking about how to kill one man and fucking torturing a woman.

I get bored playing with the ball that’s firmly in the palm of my hand. One minute I’m trying to shoot a hoop and the next, I’m bouncing it against the wall. Then there is a knock on the door.

My gut feeling’s to get rid of both Steven and fucking Leah. Maybe Dad’s right and as much as I don’t want to be a gangster, I fear that it’s in my fucking blood. Just like Dad said, he questioned me about leaving the business. Told me that I’d come running back and I laughed at the time. I thought the blood that I wiped from my hands allowed me to be free, but it’s far from it. I know now that I’m stuck in this life.

Even if I want to get out, they’ll be another Steven or a Leah wanting revenge, and after I’ve cleared out this mess, there’ll be no choice but to go back to it. The reality of the situation is that Valentino won’t be happy after I’ve killed Steven. He’ll want his revenge.

What a fucking mess!

“Boss?” David asks as if he’s agitated as he enters my office. The room that we were talking about earlier and everything seemed so fucking clear. Now, it feels the opposite, and like him, I start to get agitated too.

“Steven, he’s making a show of himself.”

David sits down. “So I heard.” Then he crosses his arms as if he’s questioning his reason for being in the office.

I’ve told him part of the puzzle, but not all of it. “I need to leave.”

He sighs. “You want me to take care of her.”

I nod, but then shake my head. I wonder if we want the same thing, I do want him to take care of her, but not to kill her. If it does come to that, the blood will be on my hands and not his. Somehow, I feel as if I’ve completely lost my way as far as Leah’s concerned. If it were any other girl, I would have done the deed by now. I wouldn’t be sending them to their room. That part I’m sure about. “Make sure she doesn’t escape, and I’ll deal with her when I get back.” I stand up as if to confirm that this is the end of the meeting.

“When will that be?” he asks as he follows suit and stands up.

“I wish I fucking knew, David. We’ll look for him and then bring him back here.”

“What the fuck for?” He blurts out, “Why bring him here?”

I dismiss him as he confirms exactly what I’ve been thinking, that I’m getting too soft and I know it has something to do with Leah more than it does with old age. “I’ll figure it out once I have him.”

He shakes his head as he starts heading toward the door. “You better figure it out before you get him. Otherwise, things are not going to go down well, and I don’t want anything with my name on it.”

Fuck!

Even David is threatening me, and it should be the other way around, but I know he’s right. There’s no way this can come back to either of us. I know if it does not only is my life at risk, but so is my whole family’s. I know my dad hasn’t forgiven me for leaving the business. If things were so out of control, there’s no way he’ll ever forgive me for bringing more problems to our family.

I head out as to leave the island the moment Dad and I disconnected on the video chat. Leah will have to wait, and I don’t give a shit if it takes a week or even a year and she misses her shifts at the diner. The shit has hit the fan, at the same time that I think I’ll be getting over her and moving on with my life. I didn’t expect to be going ten steps backward and not being able to do anything good with my life.

Maybe Dad is right, and I am part of the mobster life. I’ve it planted in me from the roots like a potato deep into the ground. No matter how much I tried to pull them out and move on. It was always going to come and haunt me like a bad smell. No matter how much spray I use to try and get rid of it. I’m kidding myself; it just wouldn’t go away.

I’m not protecting Steven; he doesn’t fucking deserve it. It is more about his family. The innocent ones, the wife who thought he’d never cheated on her and the kids who probably think they’re going to college. Everyone’s in the dark about the true nature of Steven. They probably think, like me, that he’s a good guy. One that’ll look after them. They don’t know that he’s the complete opposite. Someone who would stab you in the dark or take everything from you and then lie through his teeth. I had grown a conscience over the years. Before, I wouldn’t have cared. I would have decided Steven had crossed the line and I would make him pay. Fuck, I wouldn’t even be happy with just making him pay, but his whole family too.

Now, I’m thinking of just getting rid of Steven. I know his family may not realize it at the time. They may think of him as a jewel in their eye. I’ll reveal the women he’s slept with subtly to his wife and leave them alone.

Memories of how Dad tortured all members of the family in front of the guilty person. He wanted the family members to know who’d caused their death and the reason why. At times they would die, due to the sheer shock of having loved ones close to them tortured before their very eyes. Dad hated those; it’s as if they had saved him from carrying out the deed himself and he would make sure they suffered in one way or another. Dad’s version of suffering was not like others.

David’s keeping an eye on Leah. He told me to focus on everything that I’m leaving the island to do. Do I trust David to do the right thing? Sure, he knows I’m not the only one at risk, but from a distance, I’m fucking stuck in the city trying to find Steven. My PI’s acting like my fucking babysitter as we try and figure out how to track down Steven before he does any more damage.

I’ll be putting him out of his misery.