As I head to the elevator, Rick chases after me.

“Marco wait up,” he’s rasping as he starts to cough and I’m not even walking that fast. Too many years of smoking heavily are obviously catching up with him.

I turn around and see his yellow-stained teeth. “What?”

He lifts up his hands as he tries to catch his breath. Then he bends backward.

I walk slowly to the elevator and press the button. “Walk with me,” I say as the doors open and then I step inside.

He sighs as if he’s relieved that I invited him into the elevator.

He steps in and as the door closes. I see both my parents standing next to each other staring into the elevator. I know for sure that this will be the last time that I’ll come to the penthouse. I won’t be allowed back in, but then again I don’t want to come back here. Not with the anxiety that’s between us. Something that’ll never go away, not after they’ve been attacked and not after they discover that I’m going to do exactly the opposite of what they expect me to do.

“Let’s go to a bar and have a drink,” I say to Rick. I’m not asking him. I’m telling him what to do.

He nods because we both know that Dad has cameras everywhere. Even in the fucking elevator.

As the doors open, I walk outside and feel a sense of relief. No longer do I feel as if I’m trapped in a cage. It’s as if Steven’s death has opened the door for me. One to finally be free of my family. I thought it happened the day that Silvia died, but with my parents looking into the elevator. It’s been on my mind that maybe getting out of the business isn’t enough anymore. I tried and failed miserably. There may be other Steven’s or other guys after my neck and will use my family as a means to get back at me.

“The usual place?” Rick asks once we get outside.

All I can do is nod my head wondering how David’s getting along with Leah. He sent me a message earlier saying that she tried to escape. That was exactly what I’d predicted she’d try and do. There’s no way she would just sit tight and stay on the island especially seeing as I’m not around, even if I was around, I doubt it would have made a difference.

Either way, I knew that he was taking care of the situation. The same way that I was supposed to do with Steven. Even though I know it is out of my hands, I hate the way he is always one step ahead of me. Not anymore, I am going to figure out a way to solve it, without Rick’s help.

“I just want you to know that I didn’t go behind your back and start working for your dad.”

I point to a booth.

He nods and says, “I’ll get the drinks.”

He wanted to talk, and I never expected him to come in and start begging for forgiveness. I’ve known him too long, and he’s held my respect for too long to lose it. Maybe they’re all right, and they decided to go ahead with sorting out what to do with Steven because it was the right thing to do.

I don’t fucking care.

I did maybe for a bit, but now it’s a relief knowing that he’s one less thing to worry about and that I can get on with my life. For once, instead of living in the shadow of Silvia, Steven and my family.

He comes over with a couple of beers.

I take the bottle from him and hesitate for a minute. I had one too many shots last night. This morning at the penthouse some more and now a bottle of beer. I’ll make sure that it’s the only one because right now, I don’t want to be intoxicated especially when I haven’t figured out what I’m going to do with Leah. That part I’m still working out because it could mean the end of my working relationship with David, if I don’t do exactly what he thinks I’m going to do which is to get rid of her.

Another stain on my hand.

More blood.

It’s a fucking merry-go-round as I think that maybe I’m fucking kidding myself and the only way to deal with it is to spill blood on my hands.

“Fuck!” I say as I knock back the beer and wish that I hadn’t drunk it so quickly. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m losing control, and I don’t know how to make it right again.

“When did it all go wrong? I’m not fucking angry with you going to Dad. Fuck, I needed it. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going at the moment.”

Rick sighs. “I could tell. You’ve been stressed. Fuck in the last ten years I don’t think that I’ve ever seen you in the same suit. Not ever. This weekend I haven’t seen you change once.”

I chuckle. “People have been killed. A woman should be killed, and the only thing you can talk about is my suit.”

He sighs as he waves to the waiter and not only does he order more drinks, but a little food too. I want to tell him that I need to go, but I can feel my head spinning, and I know for a fact that I do need something to eat. “You’ve read my mind.”

He laughs. “And your fucking cock. If you were—” He stops and then looks from side-to-side to make sure that no one’s listening to our conversation. It’s the type of bar that people come to, to get away from things. It’s popular with the locals and even more so with the tourists who get a flavor of NY when they enter. New and old photos mixed and the sense of history that the owner loves to post on the walls.

Maybe that’s why I used to come in here with Rick. It made me feel as if I was part of the history, especially with the photos of the famous mobsters. When I was young, naive and stupid, I used to wish my photo hung among the rest of them. Now, I felt sick to my stomach thinking about such things. I couldn’t think of anything worse than being part of a life which involves nothing but killing.

The waiter brought our hamburgers. The typical traditional heart attacks on a plate. Burgers too big and fries too thick. I tucked in thinking that it’s the first meal since I’ve had since I’ve been here and most likely the last.

“Damn! You were hungry. I’ve never seen you eat so fast.” Rick laughs.

Memories of Leah eating like a little pig enter my head. I take a deep breath and say, “Give it to me. What’s on your mind?”

He attempts to pick up his burger and then puts it back down on the plate again.

I know he has something to say and I want him to spit it out.

“You’ve got two choices, and I think even then it’s one. You can get that girl and then disappear or just make her disappear. But I have a feeling that you won’t tell her to do it alone.”

I nod my head. “I’m fucking tired, Rick. Not only about the life. But just everything. I’ve been working on the deal for months. Fucking months. Helping the guys out thinking that things were going to change and I was going to do good for all the wrong that I’ve done.”

He keeps trying to eat and then each time I speak; he decides that he’s going to not take a bite of his burger, but say what I need to hear. “You’re not going to want to hear this, but from the moment you let Steven into your life, you were headed for trouble. The man would sell a dead man a coffin. He had no boundaries. He cheated on his wife. Every second he was double-crossing someone.” He pauses as he starts to devour his burger. “The guy was bad news from the word go, and you took him on board. He knew about you trying to turn things around, and he wanted to hurt you badly for cutting off the life. The mobster life. Did you think that you could pay him off and be done with him?”

I nod and then shake my head. “Fuck, I didn’t know. Still don’t know. I hadn’t spoken to him in a while.”

He ignores my statement and says, “The moment you decided to put things into your own hands, that’s when the shit hit the fan. Silvia died, and then you walked out on your family, it just doesn’t work. Remember Grucia, Rodriguez, Francesco…shit the list goes fucking on and on. Did you think that they wanted things to end up the way that they did? Didn’t you think that they wanted fucking out? But you can’t get out till…”

“You’re in a coffin.”

He points to me. “Exactly. You know the drill. Now, finish your burger, and I’ll help you as much as I can, but then after that, you’re on your own.”

“What are you going to do?” I ask partly out of guilt and a sense of relief that he’s not on my dad’s side, but on mine.

“Do you think that if you disappear, then I’m going to be able to stay around?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“Exactly, so not only are you going to disappear, but so am I.”

With his confirmation, I could have pretended I was sad about our departure and want to be a part of his life, the same way he’s been a part of mine until now. But I felt glad this would be our last supper together. No more, will we come here and talk about the good days. I was no longer the naive teenager who wanted his photo on the wall. I was a man that was done with my old life and for once, looking forward to the new one.