I feel as if my reality has turned into a big nightmare as I can hardly move. No longer am I being surrounded by silk sheets, but I’m sitting on a wooden chair.

My hands are tied up, and I think that I’m alone in the dark. I want to speak. Say something, but I can’t, as my hands are no longer free to do as they please. Everything’s changed, and I start to panic as I start to think about what I could have done to deserve it.

Did Marco come back to torture me? Or is this just David’s plan? One to keep me tied up and make sure that I don’t escape. He’s right about that because for now, I couldn’t escape even if I wanted to. I’m stuck here for the unforeseeable future.

I have a vision of me confessing and telling David the truth. It’s an illusion, maybe brought on by tiredness and I don’t know what’s going on with me anymore. I should have just told him the truth and accepted my fate. I’m kidding myself. There’s no way out for me. One minute, I think that it’s best to keep quiet and pretend I don’t know what they’re talking about. Make out that I’m the innocent one in all of this.

A lie that could save me or be my death. I can’t tell.

I want to do something. Say anything, but the option has been taken away from me. I can’t-do anything because he has me locked up in the room. I can’t see anything as my eyes are covered. I know that eventually, he’ll have to untie me. I try and remember back to when he brought me back into the room.

He hit me so hard that I blacked out, then as I tried opening my eyes, I found myself closing them again. One minute I feel as if I’m on top of the world and the next it’s as if I’m falling again. Scared that I’m taking my last breath and that’ll be the end of me.

I know that Mom and Hayley will only be sad about the money that I won’t be able to send them. As for Olivia, she’ll probably be angry that I lied to her and then it dawns on me.

Am I no better than Marco?

My life would end, and so far, there’ll be no one that cares. No one that will look for me in the event of my death and it made me keep quiet. No longer did I feel like fighting my fate or even thinking about screaming out for help. I realize that no one cares about me and it makes me feel tired. Weak. Pathetic.

I’m not even in the mood to fight escaping, so there’s no way that I’m strong enough to beat him. My eye still stings from when he slapped me around the face or maybe even punched me? I’ve never been hit before in my life. The blow took me by surprise and made me regret the last three years of my life.

I’d been living this fantasy, working so hard and using every penny to come close to Marco and now I’d seen that I was no better than Marco or even Steven. I’ve been a fool to think that I’m anything but a girl trying to play with the sharks. I didn’t even attempt to try and see, let alone speak. I sit in the chair waiting for something to happen. Anything, because I’ve lost total control and I don’t even want it back anymore. Not when my fate is no longer in my hands. I’ve given it to him on a silver platter, and I know he’ll happily take it from me and never give it back.

I smell something so bad in the room. I don’t even realize I am sitting in my piss until it is too late. I haven’t wet myself since I was around three years old or maybe once or twice after then. I am sitting down, and I can’t move. Not only because my body is so stiff, but the stench of the smell is making me cry.

It made me feel so small as if I were a child once more. Something I haven’t felt in such a long time has come back to haunt me. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about my situation. I think that I might scream out of embarrassment for making such a mess, yet silence becomes my friend even after I feel the blindfold being removed from my eyes and even as the gag is taken away from my mouth. I sit here as if I want to be punished for what I put myself through the last few years.

I don’t deserve to go to college because so far, I’ve been acting like a kid. One that doesn’t know any better and thought that she could play a game. One where I don’t know the rules and will suffer for trying to win big time.

He starts to move me; I’m so weak that I can’t even open my eyes once the blindfold has been removed. He slowly strips me of the dress and then plunges me into the water. I try to focus, but as I open my eyes, I’m greeted with darkness. There’s a light, but it’s from outside the bathroom.

I gasp for air as I feel myself sinking in the tub. There are no bubbles just plain water. I wonder why he’s bothering to take care of me if he’s thinking about killing me.

Maybe there’s still hope.

Time.

And he’s had orders that he should take care of me, then again if he had that, then he wouldn’t have tied me up in the first place. I blink a couple of times as I freely stretch my arms in the bath. No longer do I smell my urine, but only the freedom of going around the tub. I stand up and feel a towel around my body, and that’s when I smell the strawberry scent. Maybe my nose was slightly blocked and immune to the scent.

I race to the lights and nearly trip in the process of doing so. I want to see if it’s David or if Marco’s come back and seen the circumstances in which I’ve been treated in, and he’s had a change of heart?

If that’s the case, then I know my feelings were right and I did get to him in more ways than one. Maybe I’ve been too hasty and need to speak to Hayley first and find out exactly what did happen in the past. Maybe that’s the root of the problem. I’ve been too hasty and jumped to conclusions, and I’m suffering, because of my stubbornness.

As darkness is my guide and I find the switch for the bathroom. My eyes sting so badly, and I find myself walking around as if I’m blind. Blinking my eyes and trying to get out of the bathroom. The light is so strong, and then I smell something in the room as I move inside it. There’s a tray and a table, with food as the scent sets waves of hunger inside my stomach and it starts to roar. I hadn’t felt hungry before now.

I want to know who was in the room earlier, but with the smell of my piss no longer existing in the room, I no longer care as I start to eat. I throw the lid onto the bed and use my hands to stuff the chicken and rice into my mouth.

I assume that its Marta’s cooking that is satisfying my hunger. I close my eyes as I continue to stand in the towel and put the food in my mouth. This could be my last supper, and with the bottle of water, that’s next to it. I pick it up and take a few sips before moving to the bed and making a mess. The more I eat, the hungrier I feel, and the only sounds echoing through the room is the sound of me eating. The same way that I did in front of Marco. Or even worse.