My blood boiled the second Devon had texted me telling me he was taking her to a club. He had run into her, and instead of fucking calling me right away, he took her somewhere. He gave her what I couldn’t, even if it was only for a moment. Freedom.

I knew from the way she moved her body against mine being free of the chains of this life was exhilarating. She could breathe without restriction.

As she lay on our bed in Jared’s house, my mind wandered. I wasn’t lying to her when I said I wasn’t sure I could be the man she wanted me to be. I had a soft side, but under it all, I didn’t think I could let the harshness go. I was born this way, made this way and hardened by the harsh aspects of my life.

“You found her?” James questioned me as I took a seat in the living room. I wasn’t ready to go and lay next to her. It would just make me want to fuck her into submission over and over again. Running from me was stupid, so fucking stupid.

“Yeah, I did,” I mumbled my hands running through my hair. I was exhausted. The truth was though I was used to all this, all I ever had to protect was myself. Having to think about more than just myself—well, was just exhausting.

“I’m assuming from the look on your face it wasn’t somewhere you expected to find her?” What was with all the questions?

Arching an eyebrow, I asked, “What do you mean?”

“You just look slightly amused, and slightly pissed,” He added.

“Well, your daughter is a spitfire. The last thing I expected her to be doing was getting drunk and dancing out on the crowded dance floor.” I expelled a deep breath.

He let out a deep almost contagious laugh—contagious had I had something to laugh about.

“Must’ve gotten that from her mother. She was definitely a get drunk and take off her clothes kind of gal, I remember the one time—“

“No. No. I don’t want to hear about it…” I stopped him with my hands, really not wanting to hear about how Bree came about being made.

“Still, the woman was feisty as hell. She got that from her mother,” he commented smiling at me as his eyes kind of glazed over. I knew that look—he was scouring his mind for the one memory he was most fond of. I did it, too. When I thought of my mother.

“I’m sure she did.” I was never given the chance to meet her mother. Had I met her, would things have been different? I think so...

“You know, you and Bree aren’t that far off from the same kind of people. She’s lost just as much as you have. Maybe you guys could find the happiness missing in your lives through one another. I love her to death, but I don’t think Jared and I loving her will be enough to hold her together…” James’s talked as if he had experience with this whole ordeal. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to ask.

“Well, if it’s not you guys, it can’t just be me,” I said without thinking. There was no way, after everything that had happened that I would be the person to hold her to the earth.

“Give yourself more credit, son. We all make mistakes and have a long past of shit always creeping up on us. You made choices and did things because you had to. Killing John wasn’t easy on you, but losing your mother wasn’t either. You have lost your whole family to death.”

This man knew more about me than I was giving him credit for, and suddenly, I felt something I never had before—fear. Fear of the unexpected— of the future, and for Bree.

“You seem to know a lot about my family...” I blew out an uneasy breath.

Smiling, he said, “Yeah, I used to work for your father. Nothing serious. I never had to bury any bodies. He wasn’t just my boss though; he was my friend, as well. If he were alive now, he would be very proud of you, Alzerro.”

“Proud?” I stuttered over my words. That single word isn’t something my father would’ve spoken. Even at the ripe age of five, I remember him being hard on me. Screaming and pushing me. A five-fucking-year-old kid… Like I knew better.

“Yes, proud, he would’ve loved the young man you hav—”

“That I’ve become? The person he wanted me to be?” I was angry, and as the air filtered into my lungs, I still felt as if I wasn’t getting enough of it.

“Well, yes, in a way…” he added. All I could do was to stare at him, shaking my head. I was overwhelmed with the urgency to slaughter someone or something. Anger wasn’t something I knew how to handle well. Lately, I was never in control, which made my life harder.

“This is the man my father would’ve wanted me to be, I’m sure…” I laughed, except it wasn’t one full of laughter.

“All I meant is he would be proud…”

“Proud of what?” I bit out.

“You. The man you have become. I know your father wasn’t a good man, but he loved your mom. Almost the same as you love Bree.” Dazed and confused by his admission, I sat there shocked slightly… Was it obvious how much I felt for Bree?

“My father loved my mother, but not enough to end his behavior. In the end, he ended up dead.”

“Listen to what you just said carefully…” he mumbled under his breath as he got up and slipped from the room. What was he trying to say?

Bree’s words from the diner lingered in my mind. “Everyone has a choice, Zerro. Everyone has a chance to change things for the better. Your past doesn’t define you, and without a future path outlined, you’re free to do whatever you want.”

It was as if James had known I needed someone to talk to… It was as if he knew my father’s death could’ve been stopped had he made the right choice. Now it was my turn to make the right choice. Letting go of the Mafia was never a choice. They gave you options where I came from, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew I wouldn’t have any other option but to choose…

I could continue down this path, or I could choose Bree. My heart knew what it wanted, but my mind told me something else. The day was coming…

My phone ringing in my pocket pulled me from my own thoughts, and as I stared down at the caller ID, my mind took a different turn.

“Devon,” I growled. I was still pissed about what he and Bree had been doing. I knew he wouldn’t hurt her, but the fact he had known where she was for hours before contacting me made me furious.

“Alzerro, you don’t sound all that happy,” Devon mocked. I could tell he had a smile on his face. Asshole.

“What the fuck were you thinking? You should’ve called me right away,” I all but yelled into the phone.

“Chill out. It’s not like you came barreling down the street for her. She needed time to breathe. Even I could tell that,” he replied in a manner making me uneasy. What had she told him?

“Fuck, I know. Why do you think I wasn’t right behind her? That doesn’t give you the right to just take her wherever. I was losing my shit, you're lucky you didn’t find yourself on the receiving end of my blade. Until I got the text from you, I was contemplating murdering you.” My hand was running through my hair so fast, I was sure I would be bald by the time this was all through.

“Tsk, tsk, Zerro. I call the shots. I’m the one helping you out. I had the right to do whatever I wanted. I didn’t hurt her or tell her anything she didn’t need to hear.”

She didn’t need to hear? What did he mean?

“What do you mean? I haven’t lied to her about anything, asshole, and don’t fucking talk to me like you own me. You don’t. Have you forgotten I extended a leave to you so you could leave the Mafia? This is how you repay me?” I expressed my anger with every word. Who the fuck did he think he was?

“I’m grateful for all you have done, but you need to relax. I took her out, let her have some fun and that was it. She deserved it. After all, she’s going to be put through the ringer next week.”

“That doesn’t fucking matter. Just know that she is mine. She belongs to me, and whatever the hell happened tonight will not happen again.”

He laughed into the phone, and I was all but two seconds away from crushing my cell phone.

“From the way you fucked her against the hood of the car it didn’t look as if you didn’t want it to happen again. I gave her the freedom she needed at that moment and time, so put the caveman antics away, and pull your head out of your ass. If you want to take Mack down, you need to focus on him. If Bree loves you, she’ll be here when the smoke clears.”

What he said had slowly started to clear the fog from my mind, but it only helped a little bit. The jealousy I was feeling was hotter than the sun.

“Still, you need to leave her alone. As for her and I fucking, watch us one more time, and I’ll gouge out both of your eyes with my hands.” It wasn’t a threat. It was a promise. Fuck with me and that was fine. Fuck with my Bree… and that was an automatic death.

“Whatever, Zerro. Here is the deal. I will come by and get Bree next week. Mack is on the lookout for you two. Hell, if he could get his hands on Jared or James, he would be splendid.”

“Yeah, yeah… Get to the plan,” I said impatiently.

“I’ll come in the middle of the night, we’ll scuffle, you’ll cut me, punch me a couple times. Bree has to have some type of damage done to her… then I’ll take her.”

The idea of hurting Bree at all caused my stomach to flip. I never intended to hit her the first time I had. My mother had raised me better than that. Even if I was a stone cold killer, it was never my idea of fun to beat on women.

“Where are you taking her?” My voice came out gravelly. It was after one in the morning, and since James had slipped off the bed, it was just me.

“Don’t act dumb. I’m taking her to Mack. I’ll make sure he doesn’t touch her or anything.” Devon sounded convincing, but nothing was more important to me than her safety. In the end, if I didn’t pick the right path, I knew I would have to let her go.

“I’m not acting dumb, I just wanted to fucking know where she was going.” I wanted to snap his neck for talking down to me. He wasn’t above me and we both knew it.

“You’ll find out. Just make sure she’s prepared. After talking to her tonight, she’s not nearly as naïve as I thought she would be. Seems you have trained her far better than the other women you are known to be with.” The way he compared her to other women I had slept with caused my chest to hurt. She was nothing like those women.

“You’re right. She’s nowhere as dumb as those other women were. She could stand on her own two fucking feet. Now, if you would like to keep that tongue of yours in your mouth, I’d shut it. As you know, I have a habit of cutting tongues out,” I threatened before hanging up the phone. It hit the floor with a thud, and I had no intentions of picking it up. My mind was all over the place.

Clutching my head in my hands, I bent over… I was angry with myself for feeling as if I wasn’t strong enough to do this. It was more than just a war with Mack or John. It was a war with myself. To be the man I needed to be or be the man she needed me to be. At the end of our story, I wasn’t sure we would live happily ever after.

I involuntarily kicked the table with my leg, anger and frustrations boiling over. I couldn’t do this. Never in a million years did I ever think I would be weak, that I, the King, would fall to his knees. When you live a life like mine, you know nothing but strength and power, and without either, I feel lesser than less.

With all my strength, I shoved from the sofa, my mind blazing with things I couldn’t control. Was loving her really making me weak, or was it me bringing myself down?

“You’re what you make of yourself, Alzerro…” My mother whispered in my ear as she ran her fingers through my hair.

I can’t do this, Mom. I can’t fucking do this… My chest was heaving, and as I whipped open the back door to run, I realized I had nowhere to go. I was that little boy again, trapped and afraid.

“You’re stronger than this, Figlio… You can do this. I believe in you.” Her voice was a mere whisper in my mind, rattling my heart so much so making me feel as if I would pass out at any point in time. Instead, I sunk to my knees in the back yard. The darkness encompassed me, and it was a welcoming feeling.

“Come on, Alzerro. We must be going now,” my mother yelled up the stairs. She was always telling me what to do. Sometimes I wore the wrong shoes or the tie I had on didn’t look good. She wanted me to be perfect… but for what?

“Mom, I don’t want to go,” I bellowed. Whining never did me any good anyway. Why I was trying it now, I didn’t know.

Looking me straight in the eyes, she smiled. It was breathtaking, beautiful in its own way.

“We all do lots of things we don’t want to, Alzerro. That’s the lesson in life. Sometimes things are hard, and it’s impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel,” she said adjusting my tie like I knew she would.

“But, once you reach the end of the tunnel, you can look back and say ‘that wasn’t so hard, now was it?’” she added.

I pondered what she said for a moment before asking my own questions… “Have you ever had to do something like that?”

Her head tipped to the side as she examined her work, and for a second, I thought she wouldn’t answer me. Then she bent down to my eye level and stared at me for a moment.

“We all have things we don’t want to do. I have done my fair share of things I never wanted to do, as has many of the people around you. There will come a time in your own life when you have to make choices and do things you don’t want to do. When the chance arises, grab it and hold on. You will come out a new person in the end.”

The memory spiraled out before I could finish my thought, and I came to my senses feeling the plush grass beneath my hands. Tears streaked down my face without will, and as I wiped them away, more appeared.

There was no other way around all of this. I knew in the end, the choice between Bree and I had already been made. The woman had my heart from the start, and I knew there was no going back. In the end, I would give up the Mafia for the woman I loved. Or die trying…