“That was incredible, Kylie! I’m sure you get this all the time, but you're really good at what you do.” Rebel winked at me with his emerald green eyes.
It sent shivers up my spine as I tried to come to terms with what just happened. “Thanks. Just another day’s work.” I was cleaning myself off with a towel, patting at his cum that covered my chest. I couldn’t get it off quick enough.
“No, really. I don’t just say this to anyone. New girls always have problems getting into that. But you were so believable, so real. It was super hot. I actually thought I was your stepbrother at one point.” He outstretched his arm, helping me up from off the couch as another stagehand tossed him my robe.
I covered myself up quickly and then untucked my hair from the heavy fabric.
He looked at me, studying my face, before asking nervously, “So, I never, ever do this, but I wanted to know if you would like to grab dinner or something? Nothing fancy or anything. Maybe even just coffee? I’d love to get to know you better off-set, maybe talk about working together again.”
Rebel was cute. He reminded me of a younger brother, despite being covered in tattoos. There was something about the way he spoke, so unsure of himself that it was almost endearing. If we were anybody but porn stars just finishing off a shoot, I would jump at his offer. How could I not?
But in the end, we're two co-workers standing awkwardly together as I wiped his remains off of my chest. And, even more pressing, the person I'm in a relationship of sorts with had just stormed off the set minutes earlier. And I know I am the one who caused it.
I placed my hand on his arm and lifted on my tippy toes to give him a friendly peck on his cheek. “That’s really sweet, Rebel. I would love that, but I’m seeing someone right now. However, if things change, I'll totally give you a call. Okay?” It was a lie. I wasn’t seeing anyone. Wilder and I were not exclusive, far from it. Still I felt like I had to respect what we had. I wanted to treat him better after the performance I just gave.
Rebel’s eyes dropped momentarily as he recovered his pride. “Well, whoever you’re dating, I hope he’s treating you right. He’s a lucky guy. Still, email me if you wanna work again, or have Wilder reach out. I know he isn’t a fan of mine after everything that’s gone down, but I hope this made it up to him.”
Poor kid. He had no idea what damage he was a part of. I doubted that Wilder would ever hear his name again after he stormed out.
I shook his hand once again before heading back towards the dressing room. I closed the door quietly behind me and then hopped into the shower. The water was icy cold, but it didn’t matter. I just wanted to wash myself clean, to get off the feeling of another man on my body. I reached for my red loofa and began to scrub until my skin was red and raw.
In the haze of the growing steam, my mind was replaying that moment of Wilder looking me in the eye as I screamed out for some other man. I’m not gonna lie – it was hot. So hot. The sex between Julie and me was great, but this was totally different. It felt like I finally had control in a way that I had not gotten with any other shoot with Wilder as my co-star. And I wanted him to see me from the other side. I wanted him to watch as Rebel made me orgasm multiple times.
Should I feel bad for that? This was our job. This was what we were supposed to do. We were actors, something Wilder himself pointed out over and over again. It was our duty to be realistic with a bit of fantasy. Wasn’t he the one who decided to add something personal to the set by making the story mimic our own real life issues?
When I saw the title on that script, my whole body shook. I couldn’t understand why he wanted that. I knew it was hot. I knew people actually had fantasies about screwing their relations, but it was still impossible for me to not feel like this was some statement about us. My only thought was that he wanted to see me act out those dreams and desires. So when I looked him in the eye as Rebel fucked me from behind, it was for him. It was always all for him.
I turned off the water and grabbed a towel. My head was still pounding, but I forced myself to get dressed and packed. But a knock on the door stopped my routine. I groaned as I wondered if I should have been more direct with Rebel when I turned him down. Getting up and opening the door would just lead him on further, so I called out from my vanity, “Who is it?”
A voice cleared before responding back, “It’s me. Will you let me in? I need to – I need to talk to you.”
I ran from my seat and flung open the door. Wilder stood outside, his back facing me. He looked completely out of sorts as I said his name. He pushed past me and into my room, leaving me standing there shocked and unsure in the doorway.
He didn’t give me a chance to say a word – not that I would have known what to say in the first place. “Look, I was wondering if you would be interested in going to dinner with me tonight. Julie and your movie is a hit, and I think we should celebrate.”
“Celebrate?” How could he use that word after he stormed out of the set clearly angry with me? I couldn’t read him if I tried.
“Yeah. Celebrate. I got us a table at Bartolotta in a cabana. It’ll be private. The reservation is at seven Will that give you enough time if I pick you up at six from your dorm?”
I shook my head yes, still completely taken aback at what was happening. With my confirmation, he slipped back out of the room without a word more, leaving me there alone with my confusion. I waited a long beat before grabbing my bag and heading out the door without a word towards the crew still lingering around to strike the set. My taxi was waiting for me.
Lana was still nowhere in sight when I got back to the dorm. I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to be there anyway. I had an idea that she would tell me I was playing it too easy. I was giving Wilder all the power in this relationship. I wasn’t giving him something to chase. I pulled down several of her dresses, laying them on my bed as her warnings repeated themselves.
The dresses with their cutouts, low necklines, short skirts all taunted me. This wasn’t who I was. I didn’t want to be Kylie the Porn Star for Wilder. I needed to be Kylie the Consenting Adult, the Wanting Adult. I pushed them off and headed for my own, sad state of a wardrobe and pulled down the one dress I splurged on a few years ago when I started the job at the club. It was a demure, simple black dress with gold beading around the hemline. It wouldn’t get me stares, but it fit my skinny body perfectly, giving me lines and curves I really didn’t have.
My phone lit up as I finished the touches on my makeup and hair. I peered out the window towards the parking lot when I spotted the cherry red, vintage convertible with Wilder in the driver’s seat. A small crowd was, again, gathering to admire him. I tried to push down the butterflies as I ran down the stairs, strapping my heels to my feet and ankles as I went. When he spotted me, he jumped out and over the car’s side and opened my door for me.
Neither of us said a word, he just drove off, speeding through campus with the engine roaring loudly. He called out to me after a bit, “Have you ever been to Bartolotta?”
“No, it’s not like college kids can really afford fine dining like that.” I didn’t mention that I have only had a few requests for dates in the entire time I’ve been in school. It wasn’t that I was uninterested; it was that no one had offered.
“Hmm. That surprises me. Every girl deserves to be taken out and wined and dined.”
“So you’re wining and dining me?” I smiled at him as I watched the creases around his eyes lighten up. The mood from earlier was changing, floating away with the wind from the strip.
“I’m certainly doing that, and hopefully more.” He gave me a knowing, confident grin before focusing on the Wynn’s valet parking.
The attendants looked completely amazed at us as we pulled up. This car had to be something special. Wilder had done well for himself as a porn star, that much was clear.
We walked through the hotel with the flashing lights and the shouting gamblers to the back where a woman dressed in a tight black dress and gold heels waited for us. Wilder flashed her a smile before announcing himself. She studied us approvingly before walking us through the white and gold sea inspired dining room and out near a small, clear pool.
Our pergola was covered in a white and green striped fabric pulled back by ties. I sat down at the booth first, sliding in towards the end. Wilder sat across from me as he used his hand to instruct the usher to pull the fabric closed, giving us total privacy from the other seating areas. Our waiter, dressed in a traditional black tuxedo, appeared almost magically, only staying a brief second for Wilder to order a bottle of champagne and a plate of oysters to start.
“I’ve never had oysters.” I admitted as they came back on a white long dish with a side of lemon.
He picked one up, dosing it in the juice, before handing it to me. “Yes you have. We had oysters on that trip to Maine. You were thirteen. I remember you trying one and loving it. Everyone was shocked you even gave it a go. No one else was that brave. But you were. I mean, still are.”
“How can you remember that? That’s so insignificant! I doubt my mom would even remember that.” My stomach lurched as I thought of her and how bitter and blinded she was of the past. Bringing up my childhood with her always led to her dragging up the negative.
“I remember almost everything. It’s just this little power I have. Plus, I was happy then. I had a good home, a good family. And I loved spending time with you, even if I wouldn’t admit it then.”
I laughed, “Yeah, you were a little shit then. Though you were always good to me. I never understood that. You could have just let the kids pick on me or dad yell and scream, but you never backed down.”
“Why would I let them do that to you?”
“Why wouldn’t you? It wasn’t like I was the easy sister. No one wanted to stand up for me. Hell, I couldn’t even do that.”
Wilder took a long sip of champagne before placing the glass down and sitting farther up in his chair. “You have no idea how amazing you were and are. You need to stop questioning that. Even if you aren’t what others want you to be, you're still amazing.”
I looked at him, his face transformed. He was lighter, freer. This was the kinder, sweeter side he hid behind the façade. This was the Wilder, the Will, I knew and had loved. This was the person I could love again.
He used his own oyster to clink against mine before we swallowed the contents inside down, the slippery, salty sensation dripping down my throat. It was refreshing, delicious. We did another one before I forced myself to say what I needed to. “I don’t understand why we're here. After what happened today…”
“Nothing happened today, Kylie.” His voice was firm and resolute. “And we're here because someone needs to show you how special and amazing you are. I’m seeing that now. I’m seeing a lot of things now.” His hand reached over to my cheek before placing a strand of hair behind my ear.
Our eyes locked for a few long, lingering seconds. I didn’t dare to blink. I didn’t want to miss a second of the light from the chandelier above his glittering in his murky blue eyes.
“I don’t know what to say.” I was completely lost. In actuality, I had so much I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t know where to start or what I should say. Seeing Wilder here, with me, touching my cheek, telling me I mattered, asking about my life…something had totally shifted. We weren't co-stars or business partners. We weren’t brother and sister reconnecting for the first time in years.
Wilder was so much more complicated than what I had imagined him to be. He wasn’t just a guy to screw or a stepbrother to care for me. He wanted to treat me how he thought I should be treated. This was despite our barriers, our walls, our struggles. He had forgiven me for putting on that show this morning on set. And I forgave him for walking out on something he planned. We were on the same playing field here – just the two of us, connecting under the lights of the strip.
I placed my fork down, finishing my last bite of decadent chocolate cake and took a sip of champagne. I ask him the only thing I could think of as appropriate, “What comes next?”
“For our business? We keep going. We keep making films with high quality. For dinner? We box up the rest of this and get our check. For us? We do this.” He stood up and sat next to me at my bench. Our eyes met as my body began to shake. He pressed a hand on my thigh before taking my head in his large hand. Our mouths found one another, neither holding back.
My body exploded in need. His lips were warm and salty and his hands only pushed me further as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I wanted this just as much as him and needed to feel this. He needed to feel my body quiver and flow with his own. This kiss was tame compared to what we did on screen or how we embraced in my dorm room.
For the first time, I felt as if I had found the man behind the porn star, the man behind the cars, the money, and the bravado. And he was kissing the girl I was meant to be – confident, collected, unique. Under the dark, cloudy skies of Las Vegas, we weren't seeing a new person in the other. Instead, we were rediscovering the people we hoped to be.