Blood. Blood. Everywhere around me, there is blood. I’m swimming in it, practically drowning in it. It’s getting in my eyes, sticking between my toes. As its foreign metallic taste hits my tongue, I know I’m in danger. I’ve got to get out of this pool. I begin to swim, my legs and arms flailing by my sides. But as much as I try, I’m not getting anywhere. I’m just floating in a sea of red as the black and white sky above me counts the hours.
Someone is calling my name, “Kylie? Kylie? Come on now, you have to wake up.” A light flutters above me as the red begins to sink lower into the pool. The person with the voice is draining the water slowly and I’m coming up for air. I look for the source, but the bright light is blinding me in the process. And suddenly, I can’t decide what is worse – the burning light or the floating blood.
My eyes flickered open to the sound of Wilder pulling back the curtains. It took a moment for me to realize I wasn’t where I thought I was last. I wasn’t at the party with the leather couch in the musty smelling library. I wasn’t at my dorm room trying on new lingerie with Lana. I wasn’t even in my dressing room where my most recent memory faded in and out. I was at Wilder’s place, or what I thought was his place. I had never been.
But as I took a peek at everything, I could tell it was his space. Everything was black, gray, and whites from the area rug near the bed to the slick black dresser by the door. The downy comforter that covered my tightly wound body was the only pop of color – a cherry red. I kicked the comforter off of me as I suddenly felt so constricted by the weight of it.
Wilder heard me stir and turned in my direction. A smile crept slowly across his face, lighting up his blue eyes. He didn’t know what to say. Instead he ran his hand through his brown hair and held out a glass of water. I gladly took it, sucking it down. My mouth was so parched, I could drink a whole pitcher if he was offering. But instead, he grabbed a few white pills from the side table and placed them into my hand.
I looked at them, flashing back to the man trying to get me to take his stash while already knowing I had been given them against my will. I looked away, unsure if I could force those down, despite my head throbbing.
Wilder sat down next to me, sensing my reluctance. “It’s just a pain killer. Super mild. They give it to babies. I left the bottle out if you want to see it.” He reached over and handed me a blue box with a picture of a baby sleeping in a mother’s arms. Wilder really thought of everything.
I handed it back to him and then gladly took the pills. Anything to make the pain go away.
“Listen, we need to talk.” His voice was gentle, far from prodding. But a part of me still wanted to run. When I said I was done with him, I meant it. “I know you’re mad at me. I know you don’t want anything to do with me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for you. I want to help you. Can you tell me what happened to you?”
I shook my head furiously. The last thing I wanted to do is tell him. He put a hand on my shoulder, but I didn’t pull away.
“Okay. I get that. Can you at least tell me if they did anything to you that you didn’t want done? I need to know.”
I paused a second, thinking about my torn bustier, the man at my nipple, the cocaine on my hip. And, to even my surprise, I nodded at him. My voice cracked, “They didn’t go all the way, if that is what you meant. They were going to, though, if I hadn’t…If I hadn’t…” I couldn’t get the words out. Killed him. I killed him.
But despite me failing to vocalize it, he still read through my lines. He lowered his voice, coming closer to my face as he asked slowly, “Kylie, did you hurt someone?”
I couldn’t help it. My heart burst like a waterfall as my confession rolled out of me, “I didn’t hurt someone Wilder! I fucking killed a guy! He was watching me while his friends were out and when he wasn’t looking, I got out of their wire ties and managed to hit him over the head with this bronze statue thing! Then I left! I just left! I killed a guy, and I left him for dead!” I was sobbing, tears pouring out of my eyes between wails. The impact of what I had done, taking someone else’s life, hit me. I was a killer. Kylie the Killer. I’d never be Kylie the College Student or Kylie the Daughter. I’d always be Kylie the Killer.
“Okay. I need you to sit here while I call the police. All right?”
Wilder only got one leg off the bed before I leapt at him, grabbing and scratching at his arm. “No! Wilder! You can’t! I’ll go to jail. Or worse, they’ll find me before that even happens. I need to get away. I need to go somewhere.”
He pulled his arm back and held me by my shoulders as he sternly said, “Kylie, you killed that fucking asshole out of self-defense. No one would ever believe you would do that without a good reason. You’re not going to go to jail. And I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”
He was right. I knew he was. But I knew those people weren’t just some college guys having some fun at a party. Those guys knew what they were doing. And if they were at that party, they had money or power. Or both. I wasn’t messing with people who gave up or gave in. Panic etched itself in my voice as I cried out, “Please, Wilder! Let’s just get away. Take me someplace they can’t find me. Please. Please. The best thing we can do is just lay low.”
Wilder stood and headed towards his closet. He pulled out a large black duffle bag and threw some clothing from the drawers in his dresser. He tossed me a black t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts as I pulled them over my naked body. He then laid a pair of oversized flip-flops at my feet. “These are going to have to do. We’ll get you some clothes and shoes when we get to Montecito. I’ve got a home there we can stay at for as long as we need to.”
He couldn’t say anything else. I was already up and out the door ahead of him. Staying here seconds longer could mean life or death for me as my doomsday clock ticked down inside my head. Wilder led the way to his garage. He pressed a clicker as I watched the center car of four go off. It was a sleek black SUV with black tinted windows – the perfect vehicle for an escape.
He opened the door for me and pulled out of the garage slowly. I sank down into the chair as we drove through the streets of Las Vegas on our way to the highway. I knew the black tint made it impossible to be seen, but all it took was them knowing who I was with and what he drove for them to spot me.
My mind jumped to Lana and how I lost her last night in the sea of people and behind my drug and alcohol haze. I asked Wilder for his phone and he fished it out of pants pocket. I dialed her number, listening to it ring. Each unanswered chime brought a looming fear that whomever is after me found her.
But finally, I heard her tired and annoyed voice pickup, “H-h-hello?”
“Lana! Lana! It’s Kylie.” I was too excited to know she was alive and safe. “Where are you?”
“I’m at Karl’s place. I went over there after the party. I looked for you, but I couldn’t find you. I have your cell, your purse, and your keys. Do you want me to drop them off at the dorm?”
“No, Lana. I need you to listen. Please. I don’t have much time. Last night at the party, those guys who knew me from the porn, they drugged me and tried to, well, do things to me. I got away, but I had to hurt someone to—"
Her voice rose in alarm, “Kylie! What? What! Are you hurt? Where are you?”
“I’m okay. I am. I’m with someone. I can’t tell you, though, in case they find you. I need you to stay low. Don’t go back to the dorm. Don’t talk to anyone from the party. Get out of Vegas if you can. I don’t want them finding out about you, too.”
“Oh, Kylie. Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”
“Lana, these guys aren’t just some frat boys drinking too much. They can do some bad shit to you. I need you to listen to me. Please, protect yourself. Go back home to your mom and dad in Salt Lake. Okay?”
I heard her breathing quickly into the receiver. What I was begging her to do is not Lana-territory. She was a tough girl - someone who hated to be told what to do. But all I could do was plead with her to listen. After a pause, she relented, “I’ll go in a couple hours. Text me in code, if you’re in trouble. How about ‘Okay, pretty girl.’”
I laughed, momentarily forgetting what was really going on here before I agreed. We hung up, both with lingering words in our mouths. Neither of us knew when we would see each other next or if we would be safe. This was it for Lana and Kylie’s years as mismatched roommates.
I handed Wilder back the phone and closed my eyes. It was another dream of red pools of blood and blinding lights. But it passed the hour and by the time I awoke, I could smell the sea air from the crack in the open window. I stirred, turning towards Wilder in the driver’s seat. He was looking back at the window, staring at it suspiciously.
He hadn’t stopped looking concerned since I walked through the door. I remembered bits of him holding my hair, forcing me to throw up. Not just any guy would tolerate that, let alone walk me through it with such compassion. And when I told him what I had done, he didn’t bat an eye or run away. Instead, he took me by the hand and got me away. He was my savior, my rock, my companion. Somehow, everything and nothing had changed for me.
I murmured to him, “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, uh,” he said cautiously, “Just looking out for speed traps and stuff.” He looked back down at me, running his free hand through my hair. “You waking up yet? We’re just about to pull into the place.”
I sat up, noticing the change of scenery. Instead of desert highways, we were in a rich, swanky neighborhood with high shrubs blocking front lawns and huge fences keeping the world out. Through the spaces between the walls of the homes, I could see hints of blue and white waves crashing onto the ocean. Mountains loomed in the other window.
Wilder pulled into the driveway of a white stone condo building where there were already three cars in the lot. He turned the car off and smiled at me. “Must be a great day for a getaway. Everyone’s in today.”
I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I was hoping to be secluded, far from anyone to spot me. But as we walked up the stairs to his third floor, penthouse apartment, every fear was forgotten. The place was out of a magazine with its white furniture everywhere – a complete contrast from his bedroom at home. From the open kitchen to the living room couch, it looked like it hadn’t been lived in in ages. I couldn’t even bear to touch it.
He looked proudly out at his space and said, “This isn’t the best part.” He grabbed my hand, wheeling me to the opposite side of the living room, throwing aside the white linen curtains and pulling a tinted glass door. As the sun burst into the room, he exclaimed, “This is!”
I slowly stepped out onto the terrace, soaking in every ray, feeling the gentle sea spray wash over my face. His condo was mere feet from the water and, from our spot, we had the view of a lifetime – an orange and purple sunset. I turned back towards him, tears in my eyes. “This is beautiful. I don’t deserve this.”
“Kylie, what happened to you yesterday wasn't your fault. You did nothing wrong.” He lifted his hand and placed it on my cheek. “I need you to believe me, Kylie. I need you to see that.”
“I can’t. I can’t. I killed a man last night. I ended his life. I need to be locked up, not here with you.” My hands shook as I held them onto the rails of the balcony.
“But you're here with me. You’re here and you’re safe. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.” I knew he meant it. I knew he wanted me to see it. He raised my chin towards him, catching my eyes in the light of the setting sun. “I love you, Kylie. I love you no matter what lies ahead of us or what was behind us.”
My heart jumped to my throat as I freed it with my words, “ I can’t do this casual thing. I can’t be with someone unless it's forever, at least not anymore. I can’t give myself to you.”
“I know what I said in the past, but from the moment you walked back into my life, I knew then it was forever. And now that I've got you, now that you're mine, it doesn’t matter what the world thinks or who knows what. All that matters is that we commit ourselves to one another. Just say you love me and that will be enough.”
The cage I’d been holding myself in for too long was bursting to be open. I took a step towards him, my body pressing against him. I wrapped my arms gently around his neck and pulled him lower to me as I whispered into his ear, “I love you, too.” I couldn’t even finish my words before his mouth found mine in the mess of hair and flesh.
As we sank farther into one another, I felt his body heat up under mine. The familiar longing drove me closer to him, our tongues teasing each other as our hands wrapped around the other’s body. His hand slipped under the t-shirt I was wearing, and I could feel his large hand grip at my skin and rake down my spine, leaving a hint of a fingernail trail behind.
A part of me wasn’t ready for him again, not after last night. But his lips on me had totally pushed that aside. I wanted to show him a part of me he hadn’t see. I wanted him to see what it was like to love Kylie – every bit of her. When his hands circled around to my front, hitching the shirt over my chest, I didn’t stop him. Instead, I pulled my head back and let him take me in.
His hand circled around my tits, drawing them out, up, and then inwards. The soft, tender massage was totally different from his fast grabs and torture pulls when we were filming. Instead, he lingered, his thumb resting on the tip of the nipple just lightly. He held one of my breasts in his hands as he kissed me again, biting down on my lip as he exited, a taste of what was to come.
I watched as he sank lower, kneeling at my chest. He licked his lips as he slowly brought my nipple to his mouth, the pink tip touching the top of his tongue as he began to softly lick. I tingled as felt every ridge and bump of his tongue against my skin. The moisture chilled me as a breeze from the ocean floated our way. For a moment, I had forgotten where we were. His mouth could do amazing things like that.
He was making a meal out of me as he took the entire nipple farther into his mouth. He rested there, breathing in deeply the scent of my skin and body. His other hand traveled up my hips towards the other nipple and they worked in perfect unison. As his tongue flicked my nipple, his thumb did, too. As his mouth rolled and tossed, so did his hand. And when I felt the clamp of his teeth gnaw at my tip, his fingers twisted sending me crying out in a crash of pain and pleasure. My head rocked backwards as I steadied myself on the balcony once more.
He stopped, looking up at me and then back at the patio. Both of us had a moment of questioning if we should go in or not. Exposing my chest to the few people meandering out on the public beach was one thing, but he wanted more – much more. And so did I. But something pulled me in. I wanted others to see us making love. I wanted the whole world to see it.
I turned my back towards the ocean and ripped off my t-shirt before slipping off the gym shorts. The cold air splashed against my body as I sighed heavily. But it was freeing, making me feel more alive than ever.
Wilder didn’t move. He continued to squat behind me. This time, he wrapped his arms around my waist and forced me to hunch over, my hands gripping onto the white metal bar of the patio while my ass was presented to him. He pulled my legs apart, planting them slowly. His hands started at my ankles, running straight lines up towards my knees before heading north towards my thighs. As they twisted inside towards the soft flesh, I sank lower towards him. I wanted him now.
He obliged me, seeing how needy I was. A finger slipped slowly towards my already sopping wet pussy as he drove a finger deep inside. The sensation of being pushed open like that overwhelmed me as I let go, standing straight up. He pulled me in closer, lingering inside me. As he kissed the inside of my thigh he began to move in and out, slowly, softly. His hand twisted a bit as it pulled all the way out. The tease, the want for him to just stay and take me, caused my knees to buckle as I plummeted back down towards the railing again. I was going to have to hold on for this ride.
Now that I was steady, he sped up, his finger racing inside of me. It drove deeper every time it exited and then came back for more, like an exploration with no end. Finally, he halted, his palm catching the front of my pussy. While his finger continued to circle, I felt him put pressure on my clit. I wanted to cry out, but instead I moaned. Words wouldn’t do this justice. His hand in me, his palm finding the one spot that sends me flying, his mouth tenderly kissing the curve of my ass, it was too much, and yet not enough.
I felt his kisses traveling lower and lower until his head was directly between my legs. He removed his hands quickly, just enough time for me to notice. But before I could protest, his mouth replaced his palm, sucking at my clit and lapping at my folds. His mouth sealed around me as I screamed out. I felt the dart of his tongue inside of me, circling and tasting just as he did my nipples. I heard him suck harder as my tight grip caused my knuckles to grow white.
My stomach turned as I let go of one hand, allowing it to travel up my own body to my breast. I grabbed hold of a nipple, twisting it between my fingers, punishing myself for enjoying this so much. I knew it was coming. My body was turning electric, changing from negative to positive. And I wanted to feel it all – both outside and in. As my blood grew hot under my skin and every muscle clenched, I allowed my hips to sink towards his mouth. I cried his name, “Will! Fuck!” as I burst onto his face and into his mouth.
He released the seal around me, but didn’t move. His breath still hot against my bare skin, he began to lap at the liquids that had just burst onto me. I wanted to sit, but the sensation of his gentle lips, his tender care froze me in place. Even now, as we shared an intimate moment on this patio, he was still caring for me, still ensuring I was at my best.
When he was satisfied at his clean up, he stood up slowly. I watched the top of his head rise in front of me as his blue eyes caught mine. The sun had practically sunk, but I could still see the specks of gold and white dance in his irises. I took an arm and draped it over him, pulling me close to him. I whispered softly into his ear, “I want you to take me, Will.”
He looked at me, a cool smile transforming his serious face. “Are you sure? Here?”
I nodded slowly, making sure he knew I was serious. I wanted him right there, right then. He stood back, removing his shirt and then his pants, revealing the massive hard-on I felt rub up against my leg just seconds ago. His cock was almost pulsating as he walked towards me. I positioned myself again against the rail – my ass towards him, my hands on the rail. He lifted my leg up and placed it next to my leg.
I felt the soft flesh of his cock run up against my folds, still wet and dripping from his mouth. He was feeling his way, getting used to every tiny morsel of me as if it were our first time. And by the way he grabbed my face and turned it towards him as he finally entered me, it felt as if we were just now getting to experience our bodies together. This was what making love is.
I didn’t dare to look away from him as he slowly began to rock back and forth inside me. He dipped his head down towards me, finding my bare neck. He kissed it gently, moving upwards to nip at my ear playfully. And, then, his eyes focused beyond us, towards the beach. Both of us spotted the few people staring up at us fucking in public. Their wide, bewildered eyes were trying to make sense of us. It was nothing like they saw every day, even in their own bedroom. What we were doing was rough, raunchy and lustful. I stood straighter, furthering their view of my pussy being pounded by Wilder’s unstoppable cock. I was unsure of how he would react to me being such an exhibitionist, but instead of turning back, it only drove him farther into me.
He sped up, leaving my breath behind. The arm holding my leg on the railing slid down towards my pussy as it took his brutal beating. He added his finger to the mix, now fucking me with both finger and his cock. It was all too much. I let go of one of my hands and searched for him to hold onto as I pulled backwards towards him. He reacted, releasing me for a quick second to spin me around towards him and to set my ass on the thin curve of the banister.
“Do you trust me?” he growled at me. I couldn’t answer quick enough, too busy trying to balance myself on the ledge. “Do you trust me, Kylie?”
I screamed out a yes as he waited no longer. His arm wrapped around me as I felt him push into me, sending me backwards slightly off the edge. I was holding on only by the strength of his arms as he fucked me harder and faster than he had ever before. My head and body dipped back, floating freely parallel to the ground as I felt the sensation creep over me again. I clawed at his arms as it came, washing over me with the sound of the waves hitting the beach. He, too, follows my lead, falling on me, grabbing me closer to him as I watched his mouth widen and him scream my name out.
Wilder pulled me in, rescuing me from the ledge. We tumbled down towards the cement ground of the patio as I crawled towards him. I found his chest as we watched the rest of the sunset before us. Something knew that, while our day was ending, our world had just begun. And while the danger may await us in the night, with him by my side, I knew I could face the light.