I was hearing things now. This girl’s body was so unbelievably good, I could swear she called out Will as she came. But that would be crazy. No one, not even Julie, knew my real name. That’s how it works in this industry. You do your job, you occasionally make an acquaintance, and you never ask for more details than what was needed.
And my history was just one of those things I wouldn’t let anyone touch.
I locked eyes with this girl as she finished. She was exploding all over my cock, which was pulsating back inside of her. The condom I slipped on when we switched positions was filling with my semen the more and more she cried out.
But, that’s not how it usually goes. I’m honestly lucky if I cum these days. So much sex can totally take away from your ability to pop your cork. And when the girls just become a passing haze of the same old tits and spray tan, there isn’t much to even hold your interest. That’s why this Kylie girl was getting my attention today. She wasn’t the same as the others. She was fresh. She was pure. She was something familiar without being tired and done. And I wanted more of her.
Daniel called out cut from behind me. The cameras and gear instantly fell by the men’s waysides as everyone looked like they needed a collective deep breath. Kylie slowly stood up. She was off-balance, totally unsure of what to do now that it was over and complete. I watched as she looked down at me and opens her mouth. I wanted to hear her speak. I wanted her to say something to me after all that.
But I broke the silence, “They may need us to reshoot something. You might want to go clean up in the talent bathroom and then come out again.” It was stupid. I had no idea why I felt like I had to hold her hand through this. None of the other girls were so hesitant on their first day. In fact, most jumped in as if this was their lifelong dream, one they couldn’t wait to fulfill. It was when they got started that their stage fright kicked in or the reality of the situation set in.
I had seen my share of girls walk away. But Kylie stayed. Kylie went round for round, toe to toe. She didn’t wait for instructions or cues. She didn’t need to be placed or to have the makeup artist jump in for touch ups or pat downs. She treated it as if she were actually making love to someone she had known for many years.
Kylie nodded at me passively and then marched off towards the bathroom. I watched her walk towards the robes and instantly cover herself up. It was as if she realized her body was sacred again. She did a slow trot towards the bathroom, her face pointed straight towards the ground as she avoided one of the cameraman’s congratulations.
I sat up myself. The hot Nevada sun was baking me on this chair. I hadn’t noticed how red my skin was getting despite having a pretty decent tan. I noticed Daniel’s sunburn on the tip of his nose as he sits next to me, flipping through his clipboard of notes. But the pages were empty.
“What’s left? What needs to be reshot?”
“Nothing.” He said low, in complete disbelief.
I stopped myself as I asked, “Wait. What? You don’t want to add in some action, change any positions?” It wasn’t that I wanted to do the extra work or stay on set later than I had to. I was just used to at least an hour more of fucking as I got told to add in more foreplay or to take her from behind. There were sometimes issues with camera angles or a girl wiggling too much when I give her oral.
“No. That’s just it. We discussed it and none of us think you should redo that. It’s going to be a straight scene. No cuts. No edits. That’s it. We’ll edit her cries out in post production so she screams Wilder instead, but that’s about it.” He looked at me as if he were as confused as me.
I ran my hand through my hair as I lay back in the seat again. I wanted to ask him to redo it, to give me another shot with her. I could do better. I needed to give her better. I could show her things she wouldn't have known. I could give her more orgasms on top of the four I ordered her to have. But most importantly, I had to have her again. I had to feel her tight pussy bounce up and down on my cock while her breasts spun in small rotations. I wanted to watch her head tilt back when she came and smell her bounty the moment she burst.
Even thinking of it got me hard as I quickly grabbed my trunks off of the ground where I discarded them. Daniel stood and walked off to where Kylie was now waiting behind the glass. I could sense they know one another. She was standing close enough to him to lean on him for security, but she was also at an arm’s distance and I knew she didn’t trust him either. He put his hand on the small of her back and I watched as she squirmed away deftly. At least I knew there was nothing happening there.
I wanted to follow her up the stairs, but Julie caught me off-guard, holding onto my arm as I passed her. She cooed, “That was amazing, Wilder. Even I was turned on. I may even go home and get out the toys.”
She was the last person I wanted to talk to, but I knew I couldn’t shake her. That’s just not how we operated. “Thanks for the compliment,” I offered as I tried to walk away. “But that wasn’t all me. The girl’s good.”
“A little too folksy for me. Apple pie is only fresh for a while, after all. She’ll grow old after a few more takes and shoots.” She walked towards the small buffet of food and drinks sitting out on a table near the door as I shot up the stairs, hoping to get a glimpse of her.
She was in the makeup room, talking to Elise as she brushed through that long ponytail of hers. I pressed my ear to the door, hoping to hear what she had to say.
“Was I okay? I mean, I really don’t care, but if I’m gonna be forced to do this, I want to at least look good.” She was quiet, almost mousey.
“You were absolutely brilliant. It looked like you and Wilder had been lovers for years by the way you two looked at one another.”
She hesitated. I could see her take a look into the mirror as her eyes widened. She sighed and then turned again towards Elise as she packed up her gear. “Is it always like this? Are all the guys that good?”
“No, and that’s what I’m saying to you. I’ve been doing porn makeup and hair for so many years now. I never see them do a shoot in just one take or with the leads picking and choosing positions like you two did. No one said a word after you two started going. We just let you guys do your thing. That is special. Don’t expect that for every time.”
“It was all him,” she muttered under her breath as she examined the strands of her hair.
“It was you, too. You looked like a pro. I’ve never seen it look more natural. Did you really cum four times?”
I saw her smile. It crept up on her face starting at the corners of her pink lips and then lifting at the corners. She gave a hint of her teeth as she nodded emphatically. Her face turned a soft rosy red as she coyly looked back down.
My dressing room was empty as I quickly grabbed my helmet, jeans, and t-shirt. After getting dressed, I ran downstairs towards my motorcycle parked out by the door. I normally hated riding after doing all-day shoots, but I needed to get this out of my system and the open road and the free air was just what I required.
The sun was still shining down on the road as the strip grew closer into view. Whenever I saw the neon lights and the painted signs, it took my breath away for just a moment – just as it did when I first drove into the city six years ago. I wanted to follow that path today as I made a quick turn towards The Lion’s Head.
It was only two when I arrived, yet the parking lot was full of pickup trucks and bikes of all styles. Men were standing outside, smoking a cigarette with a buddy as they refused to say a word. I nodded my head at them as I entered into the dark and damp smelling dive. I made out the sound of the jukebox that was playing Johnny Cash’s cover of “Hurt” over the noise of clinking glasses and running water.
Max stood behind the bar. He was still the same after all these years – bald head, flannel shirt cut up at the arms, and tattoos lining his neck and chest. I put down a five dollar bill as I pointed to a bottle of whiskey. He silently poured me a shot before taking my money to his cash register. As he turned, he lowered himself towards me and said, “The boys are here, Hill and the gang. They’ve been looking for you since the last time y’all were here.”
His eyes darted towards the back room. A sign said “Storage,” but anyone who had been in The Lion’s Head knew the back room was reserved for Max’s more VIP clients – the groups and clubs that run Vegas’ underground. I spent many nights in that room, held up, strung up. I wasn’t planning on going back, though, at least not tonight.
I shot my whiskey quickly, turning my back towards the room in hopes of not being spotted. The sooner I could get out of here, the better I’d be. I left Max a couple bucks for his trouble as I headed back out towards the door. I only made it a few quick steps before a hand grabbed me by the shoulder, returning me back to my seat.
“Well, if it isn’t Wilder, boy! How you been man?” Hill was eager and excited, but his words were slow and disjointed. It was as if he were trying to piece his mind back together as fast as he could.
“I’m good, Hill. I’m just heading out.” I gave him my hand, hoping he was doped up just enough to let me pass without argument. “I’ll see you soon, right?”
“Like hell you’re going anywhere. Get on back there with us. We’ve got some talking to do.” He spun on his heel, knocking himself down on the wooden bar. “Max! Max! Grab us another bottle. We’ve got some catching up to do.”
I groaned as Max obeyed, passing a bottle of golden liquid over the tabletop and to Hill’s waiting hands.
Hill kicked the door in with his foot, laughing as it swung wildly. “Look, boys, who's here! It’s our good friend Wilder. Someone pour him a drink.”
Orlando reached out an arm to embrace me tightly. He was already stoned and out of it. I could tell by the way his eyes seemed to focus in and out on the lights and the movements of everything else but me. He stood up from his place at the leather sofa. Another man handed me an over-poured glass. I had no choice. I was in it now.
I listened as the guys talked about their prospects and their clients. Business was booming in Sin City. It always had been. The men were diversifying soon, though. Cocaine wasn’t doing much for the tourists looking for something different, something dangerous. I knew what was coming next, but I still clenched my jaw as Orlando spoke to himself as if no one could hear him, “Horse. We gotta start moving our supply of Horse.”
Instantly, my mouth began to water.
“Orlando’s got a point, man. Black Tar is in with the celebs and high rollers. We got a whole market waiting for us.” The man in the seat across from me was ticking, his head bobbing awkwardly from one side as his mouth struggled to not tremble with the rest of his body.
Hill, who was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room like a shaman ready to start a meditation, raised his arms towards the air. He conducted the room, requesting everyone chime in on their opinion. No one disagreed. No one tried to argue. He got to me, and I was at a total loss. So, instead, I nodded my head and looked down at my arms. The old marks were still there even after a year of being out of use.
Hill stood up and walked towards a black duffel bag tucked beneath the matching lounge chair. He pulled out bags from a small, hidden pocket and tossed it to each of the dealers. “This was a trial, boys. Each of you gets one dose. I got needles for those who need it.”
The men stood, congregating around him like bees to honey as he handed out white sterile packets with needles and latex rope. Each clenched to their bit of heroin as if it were precious cargo. But I didn’t join them. I placed my packet on the couch where I sat and tried to sneak back out the door.
As I slipped out, Orlando, again, caught me by the arm. He might have been stoned, but he was cognizant of what I was trying to do. He warned me with his low, dark voice, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You know what Hill will do to you.”
I walked back to the bag holding my spot on the throne. One of Hill’s men handed me a syringe with a peeled back label. So many parts of me wanted to shoot up with the rest of them, to erase the pain, to numb the high I still had after my encounter with the new girl on the shoot, to continue pushing back the memories. I looked back down at the needle, sharp and new, ready to inject, and I took a deep breath. Sometimes temptations were worth giving in to.