Chapter 12

Sandy was never so glad to see her driveway in her life. The last twenty-four hours were a roller coaster, and it wasn’t over yet. She still had to talk to Ian and the thought of telling him she could probably never give him any more children was terrifying. Reliving that night was not easy for her, and she hadn’t talked much about it to anyone.

She walked into her house and dropped her bag in the foyer with a thud. Every part of her body was exhausted, but she had no time to rest. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and checked it. There were no missed calls or messages, and it made her heart drop a little. Part of her was hoping to see something from Ian.

She called Keith to let him know she was back and to make sure he was still okay with her telling Ian about Yellowknife. She needed to know he was okay with her coming clean with Ian. Their relationship was never going to work if she kept this secret from him.

Her heart pounded as she waited for Keith to answer the phone. She was so worried he would tell her to keep his name out of it that she was on the verge of having a panic attack. When he finally answered, she yelled into the phone.

“Hello,” Keith answered with his usual deep, gruff voice.

“Hey, it’s me,” Sandy said louder than was necessary.

“Is there a reason you’re yelling at me?” Keith chuckled.

“Sorry. Listen….ummm…. I want to make sure you’re still okay with me telling Ian about Yellowknife.” Sandy stumbled over her words and felt like a complete idiot. He was like a brother to her even before she knew she had a brother.

“I already told you I was okay with it.” He said.

“I’m afraid this is going to change how he feels.” She blurted out.

“I think you should tell him. Especially now, but I honestly don’t believe it will change anything,” Keith said.

“I hope not.” She leaned against the wall.

“I know Ian loves you and he’ll understand. If he doesn’t, I’ll kick his ass.” Keith said.

“Yeah, that’ll help.” Sandy rolled her eyes. “I’m going over to talk to him before I lose my nerve.” Sandy pushed herself off the wall and opened the door.

“Do you want me to be there when you tell him?” Keith asked.

“Thanks, but I think I need to do this alone.” Sandy sighed.

The whole way to Ian’s house she prayed because it would kill her if he couldn’t accept it. Considering he came from a large family and they’d talked about what kind of families they wanted one day, Sandy knew Ian wanted a big family.

The screen door was closed, but the door inside was slightly ajar. Sandy opened it and listened before calling out to Ian. It was a little after ten, and she figured the girls were probably asleep. There was no response, so Sandy walked further into the house. The light from the television was flickering, Ian was slouched down on the sofa, and she smiled when she heard his soft snore.

She pressed her head against the door jamb and watched him for a moment. He must have been really exhausted to fall asleep so early. She was disappointed, but it appeared their conversation had to wait.

Sandy turned to leave and saw a little girl standing in the hallway in a pink nightgown with the word Frozen written across the front. Sandy knew the Disney movie well since Evie made her watch it numerous times. Sandy crouched down as the little girl walked toward her.

“Hi,” Sandy gazed into the same blue eyes as Ian had. There was no doubt the lovely little girl was Ian’s child.

“Hi.” The little girl said. “You’re Sandy.”

“Yes, I am.” Sandy was a little taken back that the little girl knew her name.

“I’m Lily.” She flicked her wavy hair back from her face.

“It’s nice to meet you, Lily. How did you know who I was?” Sandy asked.

“I saw your picture on his phone while he was sleeping and he said he loved you while he was asleep.” Lily glanced into the living room and then back at her. “He says it a lot in his sleep.”

The little girl seemed so much older than six years old. There was also a lot of sadness in her eyes and with good reason. She’d lost her mother, and if anyone knew how that felt, it was Sandy.

“I see.” Sandy didn’t know what else to say as she glanced back at Ian softly mumbling on the couch.

“He sleeps really loud.” Lily’s serious expression made Sandy chuckle.

“He’s probably tired.” Sandy smiled.

“Yeah.” Lily sighed and her eyes filled with tears. Sandy knelt on the floor and took the little girl’s hands.

“Lily, what’s wrong?” It was a stupid question because the child was probably missing her mother terribly.

“I had a bad dream,” Lily said in a soft broken whisper.

Without hesitation, Sandy pulled the little girl into her arms and hugged her tightly. She should probably wake Ian and let him know Lily was upset but something inside her wanted to be the one to help.

“Bad dreams aren’t nice, but you know what?” Sandy whispered into the little girl’s ear.

“What?” She sobbed

“I’m excellent at scaring away bad dreams. My mommy used to sing me a song that kept all my bad dreams away.” Sandy smiled as she thought back to the song her mother sang to her when she was little. It was a silly made up song, but it always made her feel better and at times when she was feeling overwhelmed she’d sing it to herself.

“Where’s your mommy?” Lily tilted her head to the side, and her blue eyes searched Sandy’s face.

“She’s in heaven.” Hopefully Lily knew what that meant. Not everyone taught their children about religion these days.

“My mommy’s there too.” Lily dropped her head.

“I know.” What else could she say?

“Can you sing the song to me?” Lily looked at her with such hope that there was no way she could refuse.

“I can, and I’ll even teach you the words so you can sing it too.” Sandy stood and lifted the little girl into her arms and headed back to the room she’d seen Lily exit.

“We got to sing quietly ‘cause Gracie is sleeping,” Lily whispered.

“Okay,” Sandy whispered and helped Lily into her bed. She glanced around the room. Ian certainly pulled things together quickly, but chances were his family had helped.

“I’m ready.” Lily snuggled down into her bed and pulled a ratty-looking bunny into her arms.

“First you need to know that the song has the same music as twinkle, twinkle little star but the words are different,” Sandy explained.

“I know that song. Gracie loves it.” Lily whispered.

“Okay, so listen to the words and then we’ll sing it together, all right?” Sandy said.

“Okay.” Lily smiled.

“I’ll use your name in the song instead of mine.” Sandy knelt next to the bed, and Lily nodded. “Okay, here we go, ‘There’s a place in our minds, where our hopes and fears unwind. Sometimes they are scary things, sometimes they will give you wings. But there’s one thing you must hear, dreams can never hurt you, dear. Lily you must always know, that your daddy loves you so.’”

“I like that song.” Lily yawned.

“You want to try singing it with me?” Sandy asked, and Lily nodded.

Sandy started off slow singing the song again, but Lily never missed a word and not only did she know them but the little girl had such an angelic voice. Sandy stopped singing and just listened.

“That was superb, Lily.” The voice startled Sandy.

“Sandy taught me a song.” Lily’s eyes fluttered. “Her mommy helped her stop the bad dreams.”

“It sounds like a great song.” Ian smiled down at the little girl, and Sandy fell a little bit more for him. If that was even possible.

“Her mommy’s in heaven too.” Lily yawned and closed her eyes.

“I know, sweetie. You go back to sleep, and we’ll be out in the living room.” Ian tucked the blankets around Lily and peeked in the crib at the baby. Sandy hadn’t had a chance to get a glimpse of the baby, but from what she could see there was no doubt she resembled her father.

“I’m sorry, you were asleep, and she was really scared, and I remembered mom singing me that song, and it made me feel…” Ian stopped her babbling by pressing his lips against hers. She stiffened for a moment but the warmth of his mouth and his arms pulling her into him she melted into the kiss.

“I missed you,” Ian whispered.

“I missed you, too.” She pressed her lips against the side of his neck, and he moaned.

“Don’t ever leave me like that again.” Ian pulled back and cupped her face in his hands. “I know this was all a shock, and you were hurt.”

“It wasn’t that Ian. It’s… well, there’s something you don’t know and... Only a couple of people know.” She tried to look away, but he held her face forcing her to meet his eyes.

“What is it, Sandy? You know you can tell me anything.” She wanted to believe him, but she was so afraid it would change how he saw her.

“I just don’t want it to make a difference and…. with all the changes in your life this could be too much and….” Sandy stopped and pressed her lips together. It had to be like pulling off a Band-Aid. Just tell him and then answer his questions, but the minute she gazed into his eyes, the words stuck in her throat.

“Sandy, are you sick?” The pained expression that came over his face made her cringe. Since his brother James had lost his first wife to cancer, the whole family probably worried about it.

“No. I’m not sick... I’m... I lost a baby eight years ago, and I can’t have children anymore because of what happened.” Sandy blurted out so fast she wasn’t sure he even understood what she said.

“You can’t?” It was almost as if he couldn’t believe what he was asking.

“No.” She shoved her hands into the front pockets of her jeans and stared at the floor.

“You said only a couple of people know about this. So, Stephanie knows?” Ian asked.

“Yes.” She glanced up to meet his eyes, but he’d walked out of the room. Her eyes blurred with tears because it was just as she feared.

“Who else knows?” His voice startled her. She turned, and he was holding two bottles of beer. One of which he held out to her.

“My sister Kim, Stephanie and….” She took the bottle, and her hand shook. She was worried about telling him Keith knew.

“And who?” Ian raised the bottle to his lips but stopped just before it touched them.

“Keith,” Sandy whispered.

“My brother.” Ian’s jaw clenched, and it was evident he didn’t like Keith knowing.

“I don’t talk about this, and the only reason Keith knows is that he was there.” Sandy watched his expression turn from anger to concern.

“What happened?” Ian asked

“It’s a long story, but I want to tell you if you want to know. I need you to know, but it’s tough for me to talk about it.” Keeping her emotions under control when she spoke of her baby was almost impossible.

“Was Keith, the father?” Ian asked but before she had a chance to answer a familiar gruff voice answered for her.

“Don’t be a fucking ass. No, I wasn’t the baby’s father.” Keith snapped.

“What are you doing here?” Ian stomped past her and plopped down on the couch.

“I knew Sandy was going to tell you and I wanted to fill in the parts she didn’t know. Ian nobody else needs to know about this.” Keith stood in the center of the room and crossed his arms over his massive chest. She always referred to it as his ‘I’m intimidating you’ stance.

“Stop with the cloak and dagger shit, Keith. Just tell me what the hell this is all about.” Ian rolled his eyes, apparently not the least bit intimidated by his younger brother.

Her stomach churned even thinking about how it all started. She wasn't proud of that time of her life.  After her mother had passed, she went a little wild. Drinking and sleeping with men she hardly knew. The very reason she got pregnant in the first place was because of a wild night of drinking way too much and screwing around with a man she just met.

“Go ahead, Sandy.” Keith nodded and sat down next to Ian. “You keep your trap shut until she’s done.” He poked Ian in the chest with his finger.

Nine years earlier...

Sandy scanned the small tavern for a target because getting hammered and taking a random guy home seemed to be the only thing that helped her forget the pain of losing her mother. Even while she was at work, she couldn’t ignore it, but she couldn’t mix her promiscuous lifestyle with her job. Being one of only two women on the Yellowknife police department, she’d heard the men talk about the other female officer and how she was easy. She didn’t want them disrespecting her the same way.

She saw him the minute his gaze locked onto her. He was a little older than she preferred but he had a nice face and a friendly smile. Sandy wasn’t egotistical, but she knew men were attracted to her curves. Of course, the tight jeans and top she was wearing accentuated it. She winked and stalked toward him like a lioness stalking her prey.

“Hello, gorgeous.” His voice was deep, and he smelled like Ivory soap.

“Hello, yourself, handsome.” She ran her finger up his arm and licked her lower lip. It always worked, and when his gaze slowly moved down her body, she knew she had him.

“What’s your name, honey?” He asked.

“Alexa.” It wasn’t really a lie because it was part of her name.

“No last name, huh? I’m Dennis, and I’m very happy to meet you.” His green eyes sparkled when he smiled, and before all this, she could see herself getting to know him, but now she just wanted a release.

A few shots of whiskey and God knows what else, they brought the party back to the small motel behind the club. He wasn’t much taller than she was and not muscular, but he had a decent body, and he was a pretty good kisser. Things got hot pretty fast, and it was over almost as quickly. She slid out of bed and was about to get dressed, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the bed.

“That was way too fast, honey.” Dennis grinned. “Come back here, and I’ll show you what I can really do.” Sandy smiled. She had to admit she was interested, but her rule was once and done.

“Sorry handsome, I have to run, but maybe I can catch you next week.” Sandy grabbed her clothes and winked as she hurried into the bathroom. It had been over a month since she went searching for sex to forget her grief and like every other time, it didn’t work. Nothing was going to help her get over her mother’s death. It was time for her to deal with it the right way.

Six weeks later….

Sandy swore she’d never walk into the club again in case she’d run into Dennis again. Now here she was waiting for him to show up because their one night had turned into a lifetime commitment. How was it when she’d decided to face her grief and stop sleeping around, the last man she screwed gets her pregnant?

She’d been sitting in the club for over an hour, and it was the fourth night in a row. The worst thing was she couldn’t ask anyone because she didn’t even know his last name.

She stood up about to leave when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned and met the eyes of a man she didn’t know. He was dirty looking with unkempt, greasy hair and a beard that was tinted yellow with nicotine, but it was his smile that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

“I’ve seen you here the last couple of days.” The man said stepping a little too close.

“I was looking for someone, but it looks like he doesn’t come here anymore.” Sandy pulled on her jacket and zipped it quickly when he leered at her breasts.

“You were here with Dennis a few weeks back.” He grinned, and the smell of his breath made her stomach turn but if this guy could help she’d have to talk to him.

“Do you know him?” Maybe he could get in touch with Dennis, then she could let him know about the baby. She wasn’t looking for anything, but he could be as involved as he wanted. He could step up, or he could be absent like her own father. Either way, she didn’t care because she’d decided to keep the baby.

“I did.” When the man leaned closer, Sandy stepped to the side.

“What do you mean did?” She was really getting a bad feeling.

“He got killed in a Skidoo accident about two weeks ago,” The man reached seemed to take the hint and stepped back.

“He’s….he’s dead?” Sandy stammered. The man nodded. She backed away, turned and ran out of the club. She heard the man yell something after her, but she didn’t know or care what he said.

She remembered the accident because the department had sent officers out searching for the man that went missing. She never did find out who he was, but now she knew. Her baby’s father was dead, or at least she assumed it was the same, Dennis. The man at the club said he’d seen her with him. What was she going to do?

The next couple of weeks passed in a blur. How could she do this by herself? Sandy had no family to help unless you counted her father but she’d never even met him, and she was sure he wouldn’t help. The only friends she had were Tessa and Ruby, but Tessa was pregnant herself.

She also had to let the department know, but the minute they found out, it was desk duty for her. They’d been trying to get her behind a desk since she’d started because of her computer skills. She’d always declined the offers, but now she didn’t have a choice

At five months, the superintendent put her behind the desk and saddled her with research just as she predicted. Not that she didn’t like working with computers, but the job she was doing wasn’t exactly all she could do. Then again there weren’t a lot of cyber criminals in Yellowknife.

She’d received several calls from Tessa throughout the day asking weird questions about a friend of hers that was going to be dropping by to talk to her. At first, Sandy thought Tessa was setting her up on a blind date, but then she said something weird about him knowing what she needed. That statement made her extra nervous.

She was getting ready to head home when the Superintendent called her into his office. She had a feeling he was probably going to talk her into going on leave until the baby was born but when she walked in she ran into a wall of solid muscle. She slowly raised her head up and up until she met his amused eyes. He had the bluest eyes she’d ever seen.

“Alexandra, I’d like you to meet Keith O’Connor.” Superintendent Moss motioned to the brick wall.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. O’Connor.” Sandy held out her hand.

“My father is Mr. O’Connor. Call me Keith, and it’s a pleasure to meet you too.” He was a Newfoundlander. There was no covering the accent.

“I’ll let you two talk and Keith it’s good to see you again.” The superintendent walked out of the office leaving her alone with the large man.

“Let me get right to the point. I need a computer analysis, and I’m told you’re the best.” He crossed his arms over his massive chest and stared down at her. If he thought, he was going to intimidate her with that stance he was mistaken.

“I’m sure there’s better somewhere in the world I guess.” She liked giving herself the little ego boost.

“Good. I’m here to offer you a job with my security company, and I need you to start right away.” Keith held out a folder full of papers.

“There’s no beating around the bush with you, is there?” Sandy took the folder.

“Nope. When I want something, I go after it. Usually, I get it, and I want you, Alexandra. First, I’ve done a background check on you, and I know your education as well I know you’re from Newfoundland.” Keith braced himself back against the door and crossed his legs at the ankles.

“Why do you want me?” She was curious as to why he would hire a total stranger.

“As I said, I heard you’re the best and that’s all I hire. That has everything you need to know.” Sandy glanced down at the yellow folder in her hands.

“You do know I’m pregnant?” Sandy opened the folder and began to scan the papers without looking back up to gauge his reaction.

“Yes I do, and I also know the father of your baby is dead.” Sandy’s head snapped up, and her mouth dropped open.

“How?” She gasped.

“Tessa. I know everything about you.” Keith raised an eyebrow.

That look told her he knew what she’d been doing since she arrived in Yellowknife. She was pissed. Not because Tessa told him about her but because it was as if he was looking down on her. Who gave him the right to judge her?

“I don’t see how my lifestyle would cause problems with how I do my job.” Sandy snapped.

“It doesn’t. I don’t care if you screw the entire male population of Yellowknife. I’ll give you twenty-four hours to read over that contract, and I’ll be back tomorrow for your answer.” Before she had a chance to say anything he was gone leaving her with her mouth hung open.

When she got home, Tessa and Ruby were taking up supper. The West sisters had become her best friends since she arrived up north, but at that moment she wanted to smack Tessa for telling Keith about her.

“Hey there.” Ruby sat down at the table.

“Hi.” Sandy opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

“So tell me.” Tessa grinned.

“Tell you what?” Sandy leaned against the counter and rubbed her hand over her swollen belly.

“Come on Alexandra. Keith told me he talked to you.” Tessa rested her hands on her own swollen belly.

“How do you know this guy anyway?” He wasn't remotely like any of Tessa's other friends. Most of her male friends were either losers or bigger losers.

“He’s friends with my brother,” Tessa said.

“It figures he would be friends with Lane.” Her brother was much like Keith. Tall, handsome and full of muscle.

“Actually, he doesn’t call my brother Lane. All the guys that work with Keith have stupid nicknames. They call Lane, Shadow.” Ruby rolled her eyes.

“Look, Keith is a good guy, and Newfoundland Security Services or as Lane calls it N.S.S, is a great company,” Tessa said.

“How do you know so much about it?” From everything, she read the contract N.S.S, was a private company. They were hired strictly through government agencies.

“Lane asked Keith to help him investigate some missing women around Yellowknife as well as the assaults happening around here over the last five years. Lane’s convinced it’s the same guy.” Tessa’s face paled a little, and her eyes became glassy.

“The same guy that attacked you?” Sandy asked. Tessa had told her about the man that raped her when she was fifteen. He’d left her for dead. Tessa was now twenty-years-old, but there were times she seemed so much older because of what happened to her.

“Yes.” Tessa’s voice was barely a whisper.

“Are they having any luck with it?” Sandy sat next to her friend and took her hands. Ruby had dropped her head down and sniffed.

“I don’t know. I don’t ask.” Tessa smiled, but it wasn't her normal happy smile. It was the one she used when she was putting on her happy front. Sandy knew it was time for a subject change, but she would ask about it when she told Keith she was accepting the job.

So, began her job with Newfoundland Security Services and the big burly men that worked for the equally big burly Keith O’Connor.

To people who didn’t know them, the men could be intimidating, but to her, they were like big brothers. Keith, Bull, Shadow, Hulk, Trunk, Smash and Crash were larger than life and treated her like a princess. Their names were a little crazy, but of course, they weren’t their real names. For the most part, they referred to each other by their nicknames. Even Keith went by Rusty with the guys, but she was warned to call him Keith. He hated the nickname he’d received because of his hair.

In her sixth month, Tessa and Ruby had to go to Edmonton to take care of their grandmother. It left Sandy alone. The following week she met Scott Coates at a coffee shop. The small café was full, and he asked if he could sit with her. At first, she was going to decline, but she figured once he’d seen her swollen belly he’d back off. To her surprise, he was sympathetic to her situation, and before she knew it, she agreed to have supper with him the same evening.

Fast forward one month, and she was moving in with him. She’d developed feelings for him, and he waited on her hand and foot. He even drove her back and forth to the office because she couldn’t fit behind the wheel and he said he didn’t want her walking. It was sweet, but when he suggested they get married, she was a little taken back, but he said he loved her and wanted to be there for her and the baby. It was the one thing she’d never had as a child, and her baby needed a father. She agreed, and a week later they were married by a minister at Scott’s friend's house.

She called Tessa to let her know about the marriage, and her friend was upset at first because she wanted to be there. Sandy told her they’d have a celebration when Tessa got back to Yellowknife. Tessa told her she was hoping to be back soon and she had news of her own.

While all this was going on, she’d noticed a change in Keith. He didn’t seem as surly as he usually did and she’d even caught him whistling a few times on his way into his office. He’d been going back and forth between Edmonton and Yellowknife, but Sandy didn’t know why. When she’d asked him about his mood, change all she got was a shoulder shrug.

She was completely in the dark until the day Tessa called to tell say she and Keith had eloped. She was shocked. She didn’t even know Tessa and Keith were dating. It hurt that her friend hadn’t told her, but when she thought about it even when she did talk to Tessa, she was so wrapped up in her own life that she didn’t ask Tessa about hers. Keith wasn’t the baby’s father because Tessa had gotten pregnant from her last boyfriend. Sandy hadn’t met him, but from what she knew he was married and ran like a jack rabbit when Tessa told him.

Tessa returned to Yellowknife three weeks before Sandy was due to have her baby. Tessa had given birth just days before her arrival. Of course, everyone fell in love with sweet little Evie and Sandy was no different. The little girl favored her mother with dark hair and olive colored skin. Tessa and Ruby were of Aboriginal descent, and it was evident in the baby.

Sandy was miserable and couldn’t wait for the baby to come. She was uncomfortable, not sleeping, and all the men around her had turned into complete idiots. Scott had been out of town for a few days, and Sandy was staying with Keith and Tessa until he got back. Ruby was still with their grandmother, and Tessa said her sister was enjoying being in Edmonton. It was nice to spend time with her friend, but she was still in the dark about how Keith and Tessa ended up together. They certainly didn’t act like a newlywed couple, but she just chalked that up to dealing with a new baby. When she asked Tessa about it, she would smile and tell her that they’d found safety in each other. It didn’t make sense, but they seemed happy enough.

The next day Sandy walked into the office or waddled as seemed to be the way she moved at that point. She was surprised to see the office decorated with balloons and streamers. A mountain of wrapped gifts sat on her desk, and a bunch of large men grinning like idiots had her eyes filling with tears. Stupid hormones. She had a feeling Tessa had put most of it together when she stepped out from behind the men.

Her phone rang just after four o’clock. It was Scott. He’d come back to town early and was just pulling up in front of the office. She told him to come in because she wanted to show him what her co-workers and friends had done for her.

When Scott walked into the office, Sandy heard a gasp, and when she turned, Tessa had run into the bathroom. Before she got a chance to check on her friend, Keith had entered the bathroom and closed the door. A few minutes later he returned. His face was tense, and his jaw clenched, but all he said was Tessa wasn’t feeling well.

With the gifts loaded, Sandy was about to get in her car, but Keith asked if she could stay for an important meeting. Scott offered to wait, but Keith told him that he would drive Sandy home. Scott kissed her cheek and drove off as Keith wrapped his arm around her and guided her into the building.

That was when everything went to hell. Tessa was in Keith’s office with tears in her eyes and clinging to Evie. Bull was pacing the floor, and the rest of the team seemed to have vanished.

“Sandy, I think you need to sit for this,” Keith guided her to the chair across from Tessa.

“What’s going on? Is Ruby okay? Lane?” Sandy didn’t want to sit she just wanted to know what was wrong.

“Sandy, I’m sorry. I never knew his name.” Tessa sobbed.

“Whose name?” Keith crouched in front Sandy and took both her hands in his.

“The man that raped Tessa and could be responsible for a lot of missing women here in Yellowknife,” Keith said with the softest tone she’d ever heard him use.

“They caught him?” Sandy had prayed they’d find the bastard that hurt her friend.

“Sandy, Tessa recognized him,” Keith said.

“Recognized who? Will you just tell me?” Sandy had a knot in the pit of her stomach. She knew what he was about to say, but she didn’t want to believe it.

“It was Scott.” Keith gently squeezed her hands. Sandy shook her head.

“No. Tessa you must be mistaken.” Sandy glanced at her friend, but she knew the story of Tessa’s attack and how the man made her look at him while he raped her. Tessa had told her many times she'd never forget the man's face.

“Sandy, I want you to come home with us,” Keith said, but she was already half way out of the office.

“No, he won’t hurt me. I’m going home.” The whole walk home seemed like a blur, and she didn’t feel the chill in the wind because she was numb.

Present day...

The night Keith came to pick her up was burned in her brain, and it would never go away. Scott screaming at her when she mentioned Tessa’s name then waiting for Keith to come and get her out of the house before Scott got back home. The worst was when Scott came back covered in blood holding a gun and then the loud crack of the gunfire.

“What the fuck, Keith?” Ian stood in front of his brother with his hands on his hips. “Why the hell didn’t you tell us you were married and had a kid?”

“Because it wasn’t what you think,” Keith admitted.

“Well, what was it then?” Ian hadn’t even looked at her since she’d told him everything.

“It doesn’t have anything to do with you or Sandy.” Keith stood up and begin to pace. She’d noticed when he was agitated he did it a lot. It seemed that all the brothers did it.

“Nobody knows you were married?” Ian pushed.

“No, and nobody needs to know. Now drop it and listen to the woman you love.” Keith stalked out of the kitchen leaving her alone with Ian.

“Why the fuck is he being so secretive about all this?” Ian threw his hands up in the air and finally turned to face her. “Why were you so secretive?”

“Keith’s story is his to tell, but the reason I’ve been so secretive is easy.” Sandy sat on the edge of the couch and covered her face with her hands. She heard him move toward her and covered her hands with his as he knelt on the floor in front of her.

“So, tell me.” He gazed into her eyes and all the emotion she’d been holding in all these years, all the hurt that she’d probably never be a mother came flowing down her cheeks in a river of tears. “Sandy, tell me.”

“Because I didn’t think you’d want me if you knew,” Sandy admitted.

“Sandy, that wouldn’t have mattered to me. I love you.” Ian cupped her face in his hands.

“But you’ve got two little girls now, and they need you.” The pang of jealousy in the pit of her stomach made her want to throw up. She’d never be able to give him what Colleen did.

“And they’ve got me, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be together.” Ian dropped his hands to his sides and sat back on his heels. “Or does it?”

Could she be with him and accept the little girls that weren’t hers? For a moment, she studied his face, and she could see the worry. Sandy was about to tell him it didn’t matter because she wanted to be with him and she loved him with all her heart, but before she got a chance to answer, he was on his feet and pacing the floor.

“I guess the silence answers my question.” Ian snapped and stalked out of the living room. The next thing she heard was the click of his bedroom door.

“What just happened?” Sandy whispered and glanced up to see Keith’s massive frame stomping toward Ian’s bedroom. She jumped up and ran to stop him from going in the room but before she got to him he pushed the bedroom door open so hard that it slammed against the wall behind it.

“What the fuck?” Ian stood up, but before Sandy knew what happened, Keith had Ian pinned against the wall.

“I fucking warned you to listen to her.” Keith pulled his fist back, and Sandy knew what was about to happen. She pushed between the two huge men.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Keith?” Sandy yelled as she braced her hand hard against his chest and her other hand against his fist. “There are two little girls in the room down the hall, and you’re going to scare the shit out of them the way you’re acting. This is between Ian and me. Stop acting like an overprotective dick.” She pushed with all her strength, and he stepped back but only because he decided to step back. There was no way he would’ve moved if he didn’t want to.

“He’s being an ass,” Keith growled.

“So are you.” Sandy snapped. “Now go out there. Make sure you didn’t wake the girls and let Ian and I talk.” She stood with her hands on her hips. Keith turned around and stomped out of the room. The next thing she heard was Ian chuckling. “You think that was funny?”

“Not funny. Amazing.” Ian was still leaning against the wall. “You're probably one of the few women not intimidated by Keith.”

“Keith’s like the little brother I never wanted, and no I’m not intimidated by him or any of the giant apes that work with me. I’m intimidated by you, though.” She admitted.

“Me? Why?” He pushed himself off the wall and walked toward her, but she held up her hand to stop him.

“You’ve got the power to break my heart into pieces.” It was her biggest fear.

“You’ve got that power too.” Ian took her hands and pressed them against his chest.

“How are you so calm about everything that you’ve found out in the last few days?” She’d never been so out of control of her emotions in her life. “You just seem to be taking everything in stride, and you go on. I don’t understand how you can do that.” She could accept Ian’s daughters, but it was going to take some time. She loved him with all her heart, and she’d love any part that came from him.

“You think I’m not scared shitless?” Ian continued and rested his hands on her hips. “Sandy, I’m terrified. Of being a good dad to those little babies, of losing you. I don’t care if you can have babies or not, but I can see it’s devastating to you and I don’t know how to make that sadness go away.”

“Ian, the sadness is because I’m scared you can’t accept that I’m damaged.” It was the only way to explain how she felt about herself. Damaged was the only way to explain it.

“You’re not damaged, and with all the scientific breakthroughs these days nothing’s impossible, and if it is, there are other avenues to explore. Right now, I want you, and to me, you’re perfect.” She didn’t know when the tears started and she hated crying in front of anyone, but she just couldn’t hold them back. What he said was so beautiful, and it made her feel like the happiest woman in the world.

“There’s something else you need to know,” Sandy said. “Ruby has custody of Tessa’s daughter, Evie. I’ve asked them to come live in Hopedale with me because Scott’s still out there. It’s my fault that Evie lost her mother.” Ian stepped back, and his eyes went completely full.

“What? He’s not in jail?” Ian gasped.

“During all the commotion, he was shot in his hand by one of the cops. He slipped out of the hospital when they were taking care of him. He’s sent a lot of threatening emails to me over the years saying I was the reason he was on the run. It’s the reason Keith has Trunk and Crash doing security for Ruby and Evie.”

“Trunk and Crash?” The look of utter confusion on Ian’s face made her smile.

“They work for Keith, and before you ask, no that’s not their real names.” Sandy took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “He swore he’d take away the most important people in my life.” Ian cupped her cheeks.

“I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through this but aren’t they safe where they are? Isn’t that putting them in more danger to bring them where you are?” She knew Ian was just asking, but for some reason, it struck a cord, and she pushed him away.

“Do you think I’d bring her here if I thought I couldn’t keep them safe?” Sandy stomped away from him.

“I didn’t mean anything by that.” Ian reached out to her, but she pulled back. “Are you doing this because of my girls?” With those words, all she could see was red.

“This has nothing to do with your girls. I’ve wanted Evie close to me, and now that Ruby has agreed to move here too, I can give her what she needs.” How dare he insinuate she was bringing Evie to live with her because she was jealous of his daughters? Did he even know her at all?

“Sandy, don’t get pissed at me. I was just asking….”

“You think this is all of a sudden? I’ve been struggling with this for years. You’ve got no idea how it feels to know that a child lost their mother because of you and you lost your own child because you were stupid. No, you have no idea. Of all people, I thought you’d understand, but I guess I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did.” Sandy spun around and ran out of the house ignoring Ian’s demand for her to come back.

She didn’t need him. Fuck him. The only thing she cared about now was bringing Evie and Ruby to Newfoundland and being able to see the little girl every day. She still had her brother and sister. She was sure Brad and Kim would love Evie as much as she did. Ian O’Connor wasn’t going to be as supportive. Her heart felt like it was shattering in her chest.

She made it to the front door of her house, and when she got inside, she slammed the door and fell on her knees. She was devastated. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her body shook with sobs. She cried over the man she’d been in love with for years and the relationship that never had a chance.