Eleven
“Luz? Luz, are you all right?” Jude’s deep voice was as close to panic as I had ever heard it and I knew I had to get hold of myself. But no matter what I did, the tears wouldn’t stop.
“I-I’m fine,” I said, or tried to say, anyway.
“Did I hurt you?” he demanded. “Please, tell me—I’m getting flashes from you but they’re jumbled.”
I took a deep breath and was able to at least slow the tears if not stop them all together. “No,” I said truthfully. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I’ll be sore for a while, but in a good way.”
“Then why are you crying?” he asked gently. “Was it harder than you thought it would be?”
“No, nothing like that. It was easier…better…just so much more than anything I’d ever imagined.” I took another deep breath and wiped my eyes with my fingers. “I think the word I’m looking for is intense. There at the end—it was almost like I could feel you—feel the way you felt in me…” I shook my head. “I don’t know how to put it, but it was amazing.”
He smiled. “I thought it was pretty amazing too. But I think my arms are going numb.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” I hopped off the bed and ran to get the key out of the armoire. I fumbled around for a minute under a stack of silk boxers until I found it and then ran to let Jude out of the cuffs. The minute I unlocked them he sat up and reached for me. I went to his arms willingly and snuggled against his chest, enjoying the closeness. He held me to him and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
“How did you know?” I asked, trying unsuccessfully to repress a yawn. Now that the tears had gone, an overwhelming exhaustion had taken their place. I had been up literally all night with enough emotional turmoil to wear me out twenty times over.
“How did I know what?”
“That letting me be in control would help.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t know. But I hoped it would—it was the only thing I could think of under the circumstances.”
“The circumstances being your crazy girlfriend barging in on you in the middle of the night and demanding sex, right?” I laughed and then realized what I’d said. “Uh, not that I’m your girlfriend or anything. I mean we haven’t even known each other that long and you’re a vamp and I’m a were which means we’re—”
“Perfect for each other,” Jude finished for me, which was pretty much the exact opposite of what I had been going to say. “And as for you being my ‘girlfriend’,” he continued. “I was hoping for something a little more permanent. But I don’t mind settling for that to start with.”
“Wow.” I looked up to see he was smiling down at me. “No fear of commitment issues with you, huh?”
He shook his head. “Why should I fear to commit to the one who is right for me?”
“Wow,” I said again because I didn’t know what else to say. “Are we really going to have this conversation now?”
Jude frowned. “What conversation?”
“You know…the one where we decide we’re a couple?”
He leaned down and kissed my cheek. “I thought that was already decided.”
“But, Jude, seriously…we come from such different backgrounds. Our families will hate each other.”
“My parents have been dead for decades. And I was under the impression that, aside from your younger brother, you didn’t care much for yours.”
“That’s true,” I admitted.
“Then there is no problem,” he said, sounding completely logical. “We should be together, Luz—be together forever. Why let convention stand in the way when you have found true love?”
I shook my head, unable to believe him. “So we’re having that conversation too?”
Jude smiled. “Which conversation is that?”
“You know…” I gestured vaguely. “The L word conversation. As in who’s going to say it first and will the other person say it too or—”
“I love you.” He gave me a serious look. “Does that take care of the issue?”
“I, uh…give me a minute.” I shook my head, feeling dazed. “I don’t know what to say.”
“That’s all right.” Jude seemed completely comfortable with my uncertainty. “Take some time to think about it. But I wanted you to know how I feel.”
I thought of the way he’d been so patient with me, how easy it was to talk to him. And let’s not forget what an incredible lover he was. I didn’t have any experience but from what I’d heard from other women, the sexual chemistry we shared was something to be envied—especially considering the trauma in my past. Yet Jude had helped me overcome that old pain to enjoy sex—something I would never have believed possible. He was a wonderful guy, even if he was a vampire. And to tell the truth, I kind of liked the biting and blood sharing we’d done. More than liked it. Just as I more than liked him.
“I think…I think I love you too,” I said tentatively.
Jude laughed. “There’s a rousing agreement.”
“No, it’s just…I’ve never felt this way before,” I protested.
“What way?” He lifted my chin, capturing my eyes with his own.
“Like…like I always want to be with you. Like just being near you makes my whole day better—uh, or my whole night, I guess.” I looked at him in wonder. “You know, I do love you.”
Jude kissed me—a long, slow kiss that took my breath away. “Luz…you are my light in the darkness.”
I kissed him back, marveling at this new development. It seemed so obvious now that we’d said it out loud. But I had spent so much time telling myself why we shouldn’t be together that I hadn’t considered why we should. Despite our differences, we fit together perfectly and made each other happy. Jude was right—we belonged together.
“So since we’ve gone from business associates to lovers, I guess I should refund the money you gave me,” I said, only half joking.
“Absolutely not.” Jude shook his head firmly. “And besides, who said our business agreement was dissolved? I still want to exchange blood with you again, at least one more time.”
“Why one more time?” I asked curiously. “Is three the magic number or something?”
“You could say that.” He smiled. “Or maybe I just like the way you taste. And you know, now that you have a vampire for a lover, you might have to get used to being bitten sometimes—if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind.” I felt a warm sexual thrill run up my spine. “Actually, you can bite me now, if you want to.”
Jude gave me a lingering kiss on my neck and I could feel my pulse racing under his lips. “A tempting offer. But it’s almost dawn and I would like to take my time. Maybe tomorrow night?”
“It’s a date,” I said, smiling. And then I yawned. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve just been up for almost twenty-four hours at this point.”
“A lot has happened to you tonight,” Jude observed. “Of course you’re tired.”
I was more than tired. Suddenly I was dead beat. So exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open. Jude seemed to understand because he tucked me carefully between the red satin sheets and kissed me lightly on the forehead.
“Sleep, beloved,” he murmured in my ear. And almost immediately, I did.
When I woke up it was the middle of the afternoon and Jude was gone. He’d left me a note, though, letting me know he was in his daytime resting place and would be up later, as soon as it started to get dark. I couldn’t wait. When I thought over everything that we’d done and said the night before I felt both impatient and a little embarrassed to see him. Part of me couldn’t believe the way I’d acted or the way I had explored and ridden him to the most delicious orgasm of my life. And part of me couldn’t wait to try it again.
Getting out of bed, I wondered if sex would still be difficult now that I’d finally gotten the first time out of the way. I didn’t know if we’d need the handcuffs again but I was sure Jude would wear them if I asked. Of course, it might just be enough for me to be on top instead of under him—it was being covered by a large male body that really freaked me out. I supposed my sexual claustrophobia was due to my past abuse though maybe in time I would be able to get over that too. But whatever happened, I knew Jude would be willing to take things slowly and do whatever I felt comfortable with.
I took a long, hot, refreshing shower that was considerably better than the one I’d had the night before—mainly because I was in a much happier frame of mind. I’d taken care of my problem by losing my virginity and gained a lover at the same time. Having never dated any man long enough to have a relationship, I wasn’t sure where we went from here. But I had a feeling we would find out together which was fine with me.
I got out of the shower and found that someone had washed and dried my baggy jeans and T-shirt and left them folded neatly on the bed. The sound of tuneful humming outside the door let me know that Rosie, Jude’s maid, was my benefactor.
I pulled on the jeans but decided to wear Jude’s dark red T-shirt instead of my own. It still had his scent on it and I wanted to feel he was near me, even when I couldn’t see him. Actually, I realized as I put on the shirt, I had his scent on me too. My sensitive were nose could detect the subtle but definite change in my body chemistry from the sex we’d shared. I was no longer a virgin and any other were who had known my scent before would instantly know that. Well, good—that was what I wanted. I would wear Jude’s scent with pride.
I wondered idly as I twisted my hair into a loose bun if he was completely out of commission during the day or if he just went somewhere light-tight and twiddled his thumbs. If it was the latter, I hoped we might spend some of that time together since otherwise, I was going to have to become a permanent night person.
Whistling to myself, I left the bedroom and went in search of the kitchen. After the stress of the night before I was famished and I hoped there would be some actual food somewhere in the house since I knew vamps subsisted mostly on blood. If I was going to stay here, maybe I should do some grocery shopping. Of course, now that I wasn’t a virgin anymore it ought to be safe to go back to my crappy apartment but why should I? Jude seemed happy to have me here and the house was huge enough that we wouldn’t get in each other’s way if we wanted time apart. Although at the minute I couldn’t imagine wanting to spend a second away from him. I was already counting the hours until sundown and anticipating out third blood exchange.
I’d been a little worried about finding my way around Jude’s huge house but it wasn’t hard to locate the kitchen after all—I just followed my nose. Someone was cooking something that smelled delicious and when I rounded the corner I saw that it was Rosie, standing there smiling at me with a spatula in her hand.
“Well, well, just look at you, Miss Luz.” She gave me a big smile. “Bacon and eggs’ll be ready in a minute. Just make yourself at home.”
“Hello, Rosie,” I said, returning her smile. “Bacon and eggs are my favorite. I was hoping there was some food in the house.”
“Food, child? Lands’ sakes—there’s enough for ten hungry girls your size. Mr. Jude left me a note and a shopping list. Said you’ll be staying with us awhile—that true?”
I nodded. “Yes, I’ve been having a little trouble. Uh, pack politics—you know how it is.”
Rosie nodded grimly. “Oh, don’t I just. You must have crossed your pack master somehow and now he’s out to get you.”
“That’s exactly it,” I said. “So Jude said I could stay here for a while—to be safe.”
“Oh, you’ll be safe enough here all right. There’s not a pack master in the world who can stand against Mr. Jude when he gets upset.”
It seemed a little odd to me that she took pride in her employer—a vampire—over her own kind but what did I know? I was currently dating the enemy myself and loving every minute of it. As before, I had the realization that it was nice to be around someone else who knew the real Jude—not the scary boogieman everyone else had made him out to be.
“Do you mind if I get something to drink?” I asked, since Rosie was still cooking on a flattop stove that looked like it cost more than my car.
“Help yourself, child. Mr. Jude had me stock all your favorites.”
“Really?” I frowned as I pulled open the fridge. How could he have known my favorites? We’d talked about a lot of things but never food—it just hadn’t come up, maybe because it wasn’t something he needed.
But sure enough, the inside of the fridge looked like someone who knew me had stocked it. There was no-pulp orange juice with extra calcium, the aforementioned bacon and eggs, my favorite brand of low-fat yogurt in all my favorite flavors. And down on the bottom shelf the crowning piece—a key lime pie from Writes Gourmet Dairy House. Even though I was about to have breakfast, my mouth watered at the sight. Real key lime pie isn’t bright green and covered in that awful gummy meringue people who don’t know how to make it always pile on top. It’s a pale yellow color with little swirls of real whipped cream dabbed at intervals along the perimeter of the crust. It’s tart and sweet and rich all at the same time. But though I was dying to carve myself a fat slice and go to town, there was something about the pie that bothered me.
“How did Mr., uh, Jude know I liked these things?” I asked, gesturing to the open fridge. “I mean, I never told him what my favorite foods were. How did he know to ask you to get these things?”
“Oh don’t worry about that. Mr. Jude—he knows things about people sometimes.”
“I guess,” I said doubtfully, remembering that all he’d admitted to was very limited telepathy. Maybe I’d been hungry when we were talking and he’d picked the things I liked to eat out of the top of my mind. But I didn’t remember compiling a list of favorite foods at any given time when we were together—had Jude seen deeper into me than he’d let on? If so, we needed to have a little chat. It was troubling to think of having a lover you couldn’t keep secrets from—very troubling indeed. Not that I wanted to hide my innermost thoughts and feelings from Jude—just that I would prefer to share them in my own time.
Rosie was sliding two sunny-side-up eggs and four strips of bacon onto a plate. “Better get it while it’s hot,” she called. “Come sit down and I’ll pour you some juice.”
Reluctantly, I left the well-stocked fridge and sat down to eat. It was actually somewhere around three in the afternoon but since I had just woken up, I wasn’t quibbling with the idea of having breakfast. Especially since it smelled absolutely heavenly.
“Mmm, these are amazing,” I told Rosie as I tore into the eggs. “Thank you so much for cooking for me and doing my laundry. But I honestly don’t expect you to keep on doing that. I can pick up after myself and I promise not to leave a mess in the kitchen.”
She sat down across from me. “It’s no trouble, Miss Luz. I kind of like having someone else to look after. Mr. Jude is always so quiet—half the time I can’t even tell if he’s home or not.”
“You might miss having the house to yourself during the day,” I pointed out.
“Not at all, I’ll be glad to have some company. And I expect we’ll be seeing a lot of each other now that you and Mr. Jude are bonded.”
“Bonded?” I frowned. “Is that some kind of vampire thing I don’t know about?”
Rosie shrugged mysteriously. “Could be. I’m sure Mr. Jude can explain. So…it’s none of my business but my nose tells me that after last night you and he are more than just friends, is that right?”
I blushed and put down the slice of bacon I’d been about to demolish. “Well…yes, actually.”
She laughed. “You don’t say another word. I can tell you’re shy and I don’t want to intrude more than I already did.”
“No, it’s okay.” I smiled at her. “Actually, it’s nice to talk to someone who knows the real Jude. I mean, everyone else seems to think he’s some kind of horrible, dangerous monster.”
Instead of agreeing with me, Rosie frowned. “Well, now, monster—no. He’s not that no matter what folks say. But dangerous—yes. Mr. Jude is one of the most dangerous males I’ve ever met.”
I frowned. “Well yes, but he’s not as horrible and bloodthirsty as everyone is always trying to make him out to be, right?”
“All vampires are bloodthirsty, child. It goes with the territory,” Rosie said mildly. “You got to know that going in or you’re gonna be mighty disappointed down the road a piece.”
“Yes, but…” I groped for words, frustrated at the way the conversation was going. I just wanted Rosie to agree with me that Jude was a nice guy and move on. Instead, she seemed bent on playing devil’s advocate.
“If you’re asking me do I like Mr. Jude—yes I do, very much,” Rosie said, apparently sensing my frustration. “But would I want to cross him or get on his bad side? No, not in a million years.” She shivered slightly. “Now look, I don’t want you thinking I’m trying to warn you off him—it’s not like that at all. I just think that if you’re gonna be starting something with him you need to go into it with both eyes open.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling subdued. “Thanks for the warning, I guess.”
“Now don’t go getting all down in the mouth.” Rosie poured me some more orange juice. “He’s a good man, he’s strong enough to protect you no matter what kind of trouble you’re in with your pack master, and he loves you. That’s the important thing—right?”
“How do you know he loves me?” I asked curiously.
Rosie laughed. “Why it’s the easiest thing in the world to tell—you should see how he lights up when he talks about you. He thinks you’re just the cat’s pajamas.”
I laughed at the expression, feeling suddenly better. It wasn’t like I hadn’t known Jude was dangerous—I’d seen him rip a man’s head off, after all. But as Rosie said, the fact that he loved me was the important thing. I decided I should just finish my breakfast and leave well enough alone.
Just then a soft chime echoed from the front of the house.
Rosie hopped up. “Oh, the doorbell. You just stay here and eat, Miss Luz—I’ll get it.” But I was just going back to my bacon and eggs when she reappeared with a grim look on her face. “There’s a man at the door says he’s your brother and he wants to see you but he won’t come in.”
“Diego!” I took a last hasty gulp of juice and jumped up. “What is he doing here?”
“I don’t know but he’s mighty upset.” Rosie put a hand on my arm. “You want me to send him away?”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll talk to him.” But it was with a feeling of dread that I walked to the front door. I had known I would have to have this confrontation with my brother at some point but I wished I could have put it off, at least a little. Why couldn’t I just have twenty-four hours to enjoy my new relationship before something else bad happened to me? Not that I didn’t care deeply for Diego but I was pretty sure he was going to rain all over my love parade and I just wasn’t in the mood right now.
Well, in the mood or not, here we go.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped outside onto the small front porch area and smiled at him. “Hey, hermano.”
“Thought I’d find you here.” Diego was standing on the front walk, well back from the porch and front door, as if he thought he might get grabbed and dragged inside if he stood too close.
“Yes, well, here I am,” I said. “I decided staying with Jude was safer than a motel.”
“Bullshit. You were going to come here all the time. You lied to me last night.” Diego scowled and took a step forward. Then his nose wrinkled and he lifted his face like a dog catching a scent. “Holy shit, Luz—what did you do?”
“I took care of the problem,” I said evenly. Discussing the loss of my virginity with my brother was about as much fun as a root canal but it had to be done eventually.
“You fucked that bloodsucker?” Diego’s eyes narrowed with fury. “What the hell is the matter with you?”
“I love Jude,” I said, crossing my arms protectively over my chest. “And he loves me. You have a problem with that?”
“Hell yes, I have a problem because you only think you love him.”
“I’m sure you’d like to believe that but I’m sorry, I really do love him. So I’m going to stay here for a while until things die down. And maybe…maybe you can spread the word that what Engle wanted is gone so he might as well give up and step down as pack master.”
Diego gave me a look of pure disgust. “You want me to go around spreading the fact that my sister lost it to a leech? Mierta, Luz—I’d fucking kill anybody else who spread that rumor about you.”
“It’s not a rumor—it’s the truth. And I’m not ashamed of it.”
“Let me see your neck.” He came closer, his eyes trained on my throat.
“Why?” I took a step back.
“Because I need to know if he bit you again. Tell me, Luz, how many times have you exchange blood with that hijo de puta?”
“Twice,” I said shortly. “Not that it’s any of your business.
“Only twice—you’re sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. It’s not like we go around biting each other for fun,” I said, feeling guilty for lying. The blood exchanges we’d done so far had been extremely hot but Diego didn’t need to know that. “I told you, his blood calms me down.”
“No—his blood controls you.” Diego took another step forward. “Dios, Luz—how could you go running to that fucking bloodsucker again after I warned you about him last night?”
“You didn’t say anything specific,” I pointed out. And in fact, I hadn’t taken his warning very seriously. I’d had a lot on my mind at the time and the idea of Jude being an “evil monster” was so widespread and often repeated it was old news—not worth bothering about since I knew the real Jude.
“Well, I should have been fucking specific. Damn it, Luz—do you know what he is?”
“A vampire,” I said promptly. “And yes, I know that’s considered sleeping with the enemy. But this ‘enemy’ has treated me a hell of a lot better than my own kind lately.”
Diego shook his head. “He’s not just a vampire, Luz. He’s a fucking incubus.”
“Oh come on, Diego—there’s no such thing.” Humans thought of an incubus as being a sexual supernatural creature who assaulted human women in their sleep. But according to shifter legend, an incubus was a kind of super-strong vampire demon with glowing red eyes who lived by giving horrible nightmares to children and feeding on their fear. They were a monster’s monster—a tale that mother weres used to frighten their kids when they were bad. So to me, it was like Diego had told me that the man I was in love with was the boogieman—the idea was just too ridiculous to be real.
My little brother had a grim look on his face. “They are real, Luz. I got one of the bloodsuckers to tell me about Jacobson—I had to let him fucking bite me to get the facts. Look.” Pulling aside his collar, he bared a set of fang marks that looked a lot like the ones that were healing on my own neck. I stared at them in surprise—Diego must have really been desperate to get some dirt on Jude if he let a vamp bite him. He probably would have been more comfortable letting a rabid dog take a chomp out of his hide.
“Look,” I said, as gently as I could. “I appreciate what you went through to get this information—really I do. But I’m sorry, I just don’t believe it. Jude has never done anything that made me think he’s more than just an ordinary vampire.”
“Do his eyes change color?” he demanded. “Do they turn red when he’s upset or, uh, feeling kinda excited?”
I frowned. “That’s just a regular vampire thing, isn’t it?”
Diego shook his head. “Not according to Gavin.”
“Gavin being the vampire you let bite you?” I raised an eyebrow at him, trying to act skeptical, but I was beginning to be alarmed.
He blushed but held his ground. “Yeah, he is.”
“Well, I don’t think—”
“Can he read your mind?” Diego interrupted. “When he touches you, does he know what you’re thinking?”
Now I was feeling really worried but I still didn’t want to let it show. “So what if he can?”
“So? So normal vamps can’t do that—only an incubus can. And not only that, Sis—they feed off of negative emotions. Hurt, anger, pain, fear—that’s why he skinned the Clear Water pack master—to feed off the poor guy’s agony. He’s probably been gorging himself on you ever since you met the bastard.”
“That’s not true,” I said, but my voice trembled and my mind was galloping a hundred miles a minute. I had wondered why Jude was so kind and patient with me, why he didn’t seem to mind my traumatic past or the emotional scars that made me such a basket case. Could it be he actually relished them for the negative emotions they generated? No, surely not—Jude wouldn’t do that, wouldn’t feed on me that way, would he?
“It is true. Damn it, Luz, you have to listen to me.” Diego ran up on the porch and grabbed me by the arm before I realized it.
“What are you doing? Let me go!”
“No, you’re coming with me before that cabrón can bite you for the third time.”
“What are you talking about, the third time?” I demanded.
“The third bite—the bonding bite.” Diego gave me a look of mingled frustration and disgust. “That’s how a vamp binds you to him. Only with an incubus, it’s a bond that can never be broken except by death. Don’t you get it, Luz? You exchange blood with him again, he’ll own you until you die.”
“Wait a minute!” I protested, as Diego started to drag me down the steps. “Just wait a minute, goddammit, and let me think!”
At last he was really getting through to me. I remembered how adamant Jude had been about wanting to exchange blood with me again at least one more time. I had asked if three was the magic number and he’d given me some vague reply and changed the subject. Had he been hiding something from me? It seemed likely, especially when I added that to the fact that his eyes turned red when he was aroused or angry, and he could read my mind—maybe more than he’d originally let on. Plus, hadn’t Rosie said something about Jude and I being bonded? Maybe she’d assumed the third bite had happened last night since I’d given Jude my virginity.
Could it be that Diego was right?
No, I can’t believe it. It can’t be true. Jude wouldn’t hide something like this from me. He loves me and I love him. But my faith in him was definitely shaken. So much so that I allowed my brother to pull me several more feet down the sidewalk without any resistance at all.
“I just…can’t believe it,” I said, but my voice lacked conviction. “Jude isn’t like that. He’s gentle and kind and patient…”
“Sure he is—until you exchange blood for the last time. What do you think, Luz—that he’s gonna tell you the truth and scare you off before he gets you for good? This is one seriously scary motherfucker we’re talking about. Why do you think the other vampires don’t want anything to do with him?”
“He…he told me he had a disability that made them not like him.” Even to my ears it sounded weak.
“A disability, huh? That’s what he calls feeding off your worst thoughts and feelings and controlling the minds of everybody around him?”
“I don’t know, okay?” I glared at Diego. “I don’t know but I’m sure that Jude can explain all this when he wakes up.”
“Yeah, I’m sure he can too only you’re not gonna be around to hear his damn explanation.” Diego started pulling me to his car, which he’d parked in the large semicircular driveway that skirted the front lawn.
“Stop! I can’t just take your word for it—I have to at least give him a chance to explain.” But my brother kept pulling me inexorably toward his car. “Diego, I love him—really and truly love him. I’ve never been able to say that before about a man, can you understand that?”
He must have heard the pleading in my voice because he stopped dragging me and just stood there. “Luz,” he said at last. “Okay, I’m not saying never talk to him again and I’m not saying don’t give him a chance to explain. But let him explain over the phone or something. You have to get away from his territory—away from his influence. So you can listen with a clear head.”
“I don’t know…” To say I didn’t want to leave was an understatement. But I was also no longer completely certain that I knew the real Jude, either.
“Come on, Sis—you know what I’m saying makes sense.”
“I should at least go back and tell Rosie where I’m going.”
“Who the hell is Rosie?”
“She’s Jude’s maid—and she’s a were, too. She trusts him,” I pointed out.
“Probably because he’s got total control of her mind by now. Why else would a were work for a vamp?” Diego demanded.
At last I gave in. “Fine. But I’m calling him as soon as it gets dark. And you’ll see—he’ll have some kind of rational explanation for all this…this nonsense.”
Diego put up his hands. “Hey, it’s not like I don’t want you to find love. Even being with a vampire is probably better than being alone all your life.”
“How nice of you to make that concession,” I said dryly.
“I’m just saying—maybe they’re not as bad as we were always taught growing up.”
Diego’s sudden sympathy for the fanged set surprised me so much I actually allowed him to lead me to the car without a backward glance at Jude’s house. “Would this new tolerance for the sunlight challenged happen to do with Gavin, the vamp who bit you?” I asked, as I slid into the passenger seat of his tricked-out low-rider.
“Yeah, well…he’s a decent guy.” My brother blushed again and I stared at him in growing comprehension.
“You enjoyed it, didn’t you? Don’t try to pretend you didn’t,” I said, when he started to protest. “I know what it feels like to get bitten. It’s not the horrible, painful experience you think it’s going to be at all. It actually feels good—admit it.”
“It…wasn’t so bad,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes forward and concentrating fiercely on his driving.
I was beginning to wonder about my little brother. “Diego,” I said quietly. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
“About what?” He looked at me uncertainly.
“About how it felt to let Gavin bite you. About how you’re the biggest, baddest alpha around but you never seem to have a girlfriend.”
“I’m not a fucking mariposa, if that’s what you’re asking. I mean, like I would turn gay for a bloodsucker? Please.”
“I think you’re protesting a little too much,” I said, making sure my seat belt was securely fastened as he blew through a stoplight. “You can tell me, Diego. You know I won’t judge you and I won’t tell the rest of the family either.”
“I said I’m not gay so just drop it, okay? So what if I let him…I mean if it felt good when he bit me? It’s no big deal.”
“Okay, we’ll drop it. But maybe you can see where I’m coming from now,” I said.
“Yeah, I could—if Jacobson was a normal vamp.” He shook his head and took a corner way too fast, making me glad I’d buckled up. “But he’s not, Luz, and you’re in danger every minute you’re with him.”
“I still can’t believe that,” I said, but my stomach was rolling with uncertainty, making me regret the eggs and bacon I’d shoveled down.
“I know you don’t want to.” Diego put his hand on mine and squeezed briefly. “I’m sorry, Sis.”
“Me too,” I said and suddenly I was seeing the golden August afternoon through a haze of tears. Oh God, what if Diego was right? What was I going to do?