“Oh my, God!” Bridget bolted upright from the bed. It was after two in the morning, and we’d just settled in after talking for hours. I’d told her everything I knew. It was terrible to put her through that pain. There’d been a lot of pacing and yelling, but she hadn’t passed out again on me. I thought she was finally starting to fall asleep.
I sat up. “What? What’s the matter?”
“A blowjob. She was giving him a fucking blowjob!” Since I’d shared what the attorney had told me the hospital’s review panel had discovered—before we had any idea the receiver of said blowjob was Ben—I hadn’t bothered to reiterate that part of the story tonight. I was hoping she wouldn’t remember.
“I’m sorry. I was hoping you’d forget that.”
“My husband died over a blowjob. Maybe if he was paying attention to the road, my son would still have a father.”
I didn’t know what to say or how to make her feel better. She had bounced back and forth between angry and upset all night. “Come here.” I coaxed her back down to bed and rubbed her shoulders, attempting to soothe her. She was quiet for a few minutes, and I thought perhaps she was drifting off.
“Simon?” Her voice was a whisper.
“Yes, luv?”
“Was I not enough?”
I stared up at the ceiling and cursed that bastard. If you weren’t fucking dead already… Ben and I were going to have a long goddamn talk soon, but right at the moment, Bridget was more important. She needed my reassurance. I gently turned her so she was lying on her back.
“You’re not enough, Bridget. Enough is the minimum amount that it takes to satisfy something. That doesn’t even begin to describe what you are—you’re everything. You’re not the fucking minimum—you’re the maximum. What he did is not your fault. Cheating isn’t about the person who was cheated on. It’s about the cheater—his own insecurities. Think about it. Did you ever cheat on a test in school? Everyone has. Why? Because you were afraid you would fail the test—afraid you weren’t smart enough or hadn’t worked hard enough to earn a good grade. This is about him—not about you.” I hesitated before continuing, but thought she needed to hear it. “I know you loved him, and he’s Brendan’s father, but he didn’t deserve you. People don’t deserve to have things they don’t respect. He didn’t fucking deserve you, Bridget.”
Tears streamed down her face. “How can you sound so sure?”
“Because I am, luv. I’ve been insecure about having a relationship my whole life—meeting you changed that. You’ve made me better, more secure than ever, not the opposite. Love makes you stronger, not weaker.”
The next morning, Bridget slept late. I made some calls and had just finished cooking bacon and eggs when she walked into the kitchen. Her face was puffy from a night of crying, but she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Usually women became less pretty to me as I got to know them. What attracted me to them initially on the outside, dulled when I got to know the person inside. With Bridget it was just the opposite.
“Morning, beautiful.”
“Coffee.”
I smiled. “Coming right up. Sit. You didn’t eat anything last night. You’re going to have some of my eggs even if I have to feed you myself.”
Bridget sat at the kitchen table, and I fixed her coffee before plating more food than she could possibly eat and joining her with my own heaping dish.
“I have to be at the hospital in an hour,” I said.
“Oh.” She frowned. “That’s right. I’m sorry. I made you come home last night, and now you’re on today instead of being off.”
“It’s fine. I just hate to leave you alone today.”
“I’ll be fine. I need to pick up Brendan from his sleepover soon, anyway.”
I would’ve rather have eased into things, but I didn’t have the luxury of time today. “I made a few calls this morning.”
“Oh?”
“DDC is a chain of labs that does in-home DNA testing. You pick up the kit, swab the cheeks of the people who you want to test, and drop the kit back to the lab. There’s one in Providence, Cranston, and Warwick. You can get the results back in three days, right online. I didn’t think you’d want to use the lab at work for privacy.”
“Oh, yeah. You’re right. I hadn’t given any thought to the logistics.”
“You can swab both children without the parents’ DNA. The place I found does more than the average sixteen-marker, standard DNA test. So, it’s reliable without a parent to test against.”
“Wow. Okay. I’ll need to swab Brendan then, too. Of course, that makes sense. I just hadn’t thought that far ahead.”
“I was thinking maybe you could bring him to the ER when I’m working, and I could take his vitals and swab his mouth. Tell him it’s a physical.”
“Yes, that would work,” she said. “He’s comfortable at the ER since I work there. He’s also been a patient when he hurt his arm playing soccer, so it won’t seem too strange.”
“Okay, that’s good.”
Bridget had only taken two bites of her food. I sipped my coffee and watched as she pushed food around her plate. “You know I don’t like a bony arse, so you better eat a little more than that.”
She forced a smile. “I don’t have an appetite.”
“Two more pieces of bacon. Get some protein in your body, at least.”
She pouted, but picked up the bacon.
Looking at the time on my phone, I knew I was going to have to jump in the shower soon. I cleared my throat, hating to even mention the name. “I also texted Gina this morning. I’m going to pop over to the DDC office in Providence at lunch today and pick up the kit. She’s agreed to meet me this afternoon during my dinner break, and I’ll do a quick swab on her daughter.”
Bridget nodded but then went quiet for a while. I thought perhaps she’d changed her mind or that I’d overstepped. “Last night you said you wanted to get the testing done as soon as possible. Do you still want to do that? It’s not a rush. Maybe you should take some time before moving forward. It’s a lot to take in at once.”
“No. I need to know as soon as possible.”
I nodded but knew something was still bothering her. She looked like she was mulling over saying something on her mind. “Did I upset you by texting her and putting the wheels in motion?”
“No. Not at all. I appreciate you handling everything. I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with all of it. But…”
“What’s the matter?”
“What time are you meeting her?”
“Five o’clock this afternoon. Why?”
“I’d like to do it myself. I’d like to meet Gina to collect the sample and meet her daughter.”
I thought that was a terrible idea. “I’m not sure that’s so wise, Bridget.”
“Maybe. But I need to do it, Simon. I need to talk to her.”
“Bridget—”
“I’m serious, Simon. I need to do this. I’m never going to have closure from Ben because he’s not here anymore.”
As much as I hated the thought, I could understand her needing some answers directly from the source. “Fine. I’ll go with you.”
“No. I need to do this alone—woman to woman.”
“I’d really like to come along. I want to be there just in case you need me.”
Bridget reached across the table and covered my hand with hers. “You are here if I need you. You were here last night, you made all of these arrangements this morning, and you’re going to be there for me even if you’re not physically with me. But this is something I need to do by myself, Simon.”
I looked back and forth in her eyes and saw sheer determination staring back at me. I fucking hated the thought of her going alone—but I thought about what I’d needed to do with Blake. Some ghosts we just need to exorcise ourselves. Against my better judgment, I finally nodded. “I’ll let Gina know you’ll be the one coming.”
Bridget shook her head. “No. Don’t. I don’t want her to be prepared for me. No different than I was to find out about her. I want honest answers, not something manufactured. It’s better that she be surprised.”