***

Tam froze, as he spotted all the cars in their usual spots outside the cabin. That meant that Levi couldn't have gone anywhere even close to home.

Turning, he looked down the length of the beach and sighed when he found a lone figure sitting on the fishing pier. He took the walk there slowly, so that he had time to get his temper under control and find the words he needed to say, without clouding them with anger or judgement.

When he sank down to sit with Levi, he was shocked that his best friend burst into tears and turned into him. Tam patted his back and held him close, with no more clue than Casen had as to what was happening. “Mack said you were leaving,” he admitted, not sure how else to start.

Levi sniffed and nodded. “I was going to, but there's a car blocking the truck. I couldn't get it out. Then I started this,” he claimed, gesturing to himself with frustration. “And I knew it wasn't safe to drive anywhere.”

All he could do was nod and thank that one spark of logic. It kept Levi here, where Tam could hopefully talk him round to sense. “What's going on with you, Levi? This angry, judgemental bastard isn't you. But that's all we've seen this week, except when you're cosied up to Mack on your own. I don't understand it,” he confessed, needing answers before people started believing that his best friend in the entire world was an unsafe companion for Darren.

The worse part was that he couldn't disagree. Not after what he'd seen this week. But deep in his heart, he knew Levi wasn't that kind of guy. He wanted Darren to see that in the few days they had left, before they parted ways. He certainly didn't want Darren going back to Italy thinking that Levi was the kind of person who judged and hated him.

“I'm sick.”

The words shocked Tam into action. He grabbed Levi by the shoulders and pushed him back so that he could see his face. The wet eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks and the thin line of his mouth all said that he hadn't imagined the words.

“How sick?” was all he could ask. Were they talking about a flu or fever that could be messing with his senses, or something like cancer or a brain tumour that was making him act erratically?

Levi moved to sit up and gaze out at the water, while running the sleeve of his jumper under his eyes to clear away the tears. “Doc says it's depression. I went to see him a month ago; it took two weeks for him to get my tests results and do a mental evaluation. He wasn't sure if it was depression or a physical thing, so he did a whole load of tests.” Turning to Tam, he faked a smile. “Seems I'm perfectly healthy physically, but I'm a fucking mess upstairs.”

Tam sighed and pulled his best friend into his arms. It all made so much sense. “That's why you've been angry and acting out? Is it because it's untreated or because he's put you on meds that aren't agreeing with you?” he wondered, having known both instances to occur in the past, with other friends. Wasn't little Monroe bipolar?

“Kind of both. He put me on a high dose. Says I needed the stability,” Levi grumbled, not sounding at all in agreement. “When he found out about Mack and I, he said that I'd been trying so hard not to do anything to rock the boat that I'd bottled up all my feelings, good and bad, and put even more stress on myself.”

“Well, then you just need some time to get used to them. Maybe you should backtrack and go onto a lower dose, until then?” he suggested, curious about how bad it was if he needed the 'stability' of a high dose. But that wasn't for him to question. “And don't go thinking this warrants special treatment. Monroe has bipolar; he functions just fine. You just need to find your balance between your meds and your emotions,” he warned, knowing his best friend wouldn't want to be lectured.

As he'd hoped, Levi snorted and pulled away to raise an eyebrow at him. “Good to know you care, dipshit.”

Tam grinned, loving seeing him back to...well, normal wasn't the right word. More like himself. “I love you, dumbass. Don't keep secrets from me. This pile of shit is what happens when you do,” he said, gesturing towards the cabin. “If you'd told us...anyone!...then we'd all understand why you were acting like a piece of crap and ignore it. Everyone just thinks you hate them, now.” And wasn't that a clusterfuck he'd have to clear up later today.

Levi shrugged and leaned his forehead against his shoulder. “I know I fucked up. That's why I was leaving,” he admitted, only to shake his head. “Truth is, I could have wangled the truck out. I just didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave Mack,” he finished, finally being honest with himself.

“Good. Because that kid is breaking down to Casen right now, saying that you've broken up with him,” he explained, furious with himself for never noticing that Levi was acting different or that he needed help. Or even that he'd been struggling.

“What?”

“It's okay. Casen is talking to him, so he's either getting the 'you're better off without him' or the 'everything will work out in the end' talk. I'd say Mack isn't ready to give up on you, either way.” Tam smiled and ran his fingers over Levi's hair to soothe him. And he honestly believed it, because Mack was very clearly in this for the long haul.

With a heavy sigh, Levi grasped his jumper and held on tight. “I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry for all of it.”

“I wish you'd told me, but I get why you didn't,” he admitted, knowing he'd been a God awful friend lately. He'd put the farm before everything and now he'd had two scares so close together – the first that he was an awful husband to Casen and now the proof that he'd been a terrible friend to Levi. “I'm sorry I never noticed. I should have. I mean, hell, you've been putting up with my shit for years. Then the whole Gio thing; Casen and the guys; even everything you've gone through trying to keep away from Mack. It's not been fair on you, and none of us stopped to think about how you were dealing with it,” he apologised.

Tam really wished there was a better word than 'sorry'.

“It's okay,” Levi whispered, hugging his arm. “I tried to hide it for a long time, because I didn't know what the fuck was happening. I mean, I only went to the doctor for a fucking check-up because I had a chest infection. He asked how you were, while my prescription for antibiotics was printing and...I started fucking crying, Tam!” He began crying as he spoke, too, but he chose not to say anything about that. “Doc kept me another half hour, to 'investigate', giving me a depression test to take home and booking me in for blood tests,” Levi confessed, finally. “He said it's probably been building for a long time. But, I guess I just didn't want to know.”

“I know,” Tam soothed him, knowing that he was a terrible patient and that he hated being sick, but this wasn't optional. “We'll get you better, I promise. You just need to stop thinking about other people for once and focus on yourself.”

“And tell Mack,” Levi agreed.

Tam nodded, in perfectly agreement with that addition.

“And apologise to everyone.”

“That too.”