He doesn’t understand. Devil means well, but he wasn’t there. He doesn’t have the nightmares or the memories of my father’s last words. He doesn’t comprehend how cold I feel inside. I’m trying to live my life hiding that from everyone. Mostly I’m afraid if I don’t…if everyone can see how frozen I feel inside, it will be like giving the cold life and it will take me over. I feel like I’m bleeding on the inside and it’s a race against the clock until that moment when I drown.

The temptation to tell Devil that is there. It’s strong.

I don’t give in. Telling him will change nothing. There’s nothing I can do to fix any of it. I let myself be weak, ignoring the pain in my chest, and not giving in to the need to fully cry. Instead, I hold onto him until the urge to give him everything passes. I listen to his heart beat against my ear as I lay on his chest. I feel his hand hold me, his fingers combing my hair and I let myself be weak, if only for a little bit.

“You okay, Angel?” he asks softly a bit later.

“Yeah,” I lie. “I need to tell you something,” I whisper, afraid to tell him—afraid not to.

“What’s that?”

“My dad wanted me to let Wolf take care of me, he wanted… he wanted Wolf… for me, and I… I need to try to see if I can give him that, Logan.”

Devil’s hand tightens in my hair and I feel the muscles in his body tighten underneath me too. I close my eyes.

“What do you want, Torrent?”

“I don’t know if that matters anymore.”

“What if it did? Tell me, Angel. If you could choose for you, what would it be?”

“I don’t know…” I whisper and I know my answer disappoints him. I feel his legs shift under me. Before he can move us, I decide to tell him what I want—at least for right now.

“We should get up. You need—”

“But I do know if I were free right now, I’d really like for you to kiss me,” I tell him, feeling guilty and more than a little foolish.

Devil is completely still, not saying anything for a minute or two. I begin to feel uncomfortable and when I try to move off of him, his fingers tighten into my hips—not letting me. I strain against him, feeling foolish.

“Look at me, Angel,” he urges and I close my eyes before giving in. I stare at him and he doesn’t say anything for a bit.

The look on his face is so intense, I feel flushed just from that alone. He brings his hand to the side of my neck, holding me there so gently it makes me ache. His thumb sweeps across the corner of my mouth and I prepare myself for his goodbye.

“Logan—”

He stops my words by bringing his mouth to mine and swallowing them. I close my eyes, savoring this moment—this stolen moment, that I shouldn’t have. This intense moment that I want more than I want my next breath. My tongue comes out shyly to move across the seam of his, craving nothing more than a simple taste of him.

Immediately his mouth opens, letting me inside. A vibration of noise moves through him and I can feel it rock through me. He has cinnamon on his breath, the taste is heated, the flavor strong, spicy and only adds to the pleasure. His tongue is slick, wet, and smooth and he uses it like an instrument designed to own me. Never have I had a kiss like this, nor did I know they existed. It’s not consuming, or even hurried. I feel like he is taking his time tasting me, exploring, and it makes me feel special. I savor it, because I want to commit everything to memory.

Too soon it’s over and I keep my eyes closed while I breathe deeply, my heart pounding.

“Give me two weeks, Angel.”

My brain is cloudy. I have so many thoughts, so much emotion running through me that I don’t understand at first.

“What?”

“You gave Wolf two weeks because you feel you owe it to your father. Give me two weeks.”

“Logan—”

“Don’t you owe it to yourself to see, Torrent? I get Wolf is who your father chose for you, but he never saw us together. He never got to see the pull between us, or if I can make you happy. I can’t pretend to know what you’ve been through, but I’m telling you whatever is between us is special and worth investigating—”

“Logan, I don’t…”

“And whatever you think you know, if your father truly loved you, he would want you to be happy. Give me two weeks to prove to you that I’m the only one who can do that.”

His words wreck me. They burrow deep inside of me.

They give me hope.

But I can’t hold on to that hope.

“Logan… Wolf, there’s no way he’d… I mean, I moved out of the club. I live at my dad’s house now, but still. There’s no way he’s going to be good with you coming around. I don’t think—”

“No way he can handle the competition?” he jokes. I want to smile with him but I know there’s nothing funny about this situation.

“Logan, honestly I…”

“Torrent, you haven’t seen me in my world. I need you to trust that I can take care of myself. I’m not worried.”

“You might not be, but I am. I don’t want to risk getting into another bad situation. I don’t think I can handle someone else I care about getting hurt, Logan,” I respond, knowing that it’s the truth. Devil seems to study me for a minute and then shrugs.

“So we’ll do it like we did at the convent—only better. Let me handle it. I need to hear you say that you will give me two weeks to prove to you that this thing between us is worth holding on to.”

“I shouldn’t…”

“But you’re going to, aren’t you, Angel?”

I ignore the panic I feel inside, and the fast beating of my heart. I ignore my common sense that tells me this is a bad idea. I ignore everything but the light in his eyes and the smile on his face.

I give in to the need inside of me.

“I’m going to…” I whisper and I’m rewarded with another kiss.

I bury all my doubts in that kiss, which probably isn’t the wisest thing to do, but it feels good.