Chapter Six
She was a medical professional.
It said all over her nursing degree.
And paper with two signatures didn’t lie. It didn’t.
As she waited for Charles to come out of surgery she felt like nothing but a fraud. Nothing went through her head other than prayers he was okay at the end of the day. And she couldn’t stop herself from all the what-ifs she’d told people for years didn’t help anyone. So positive thoughts all the way. Totally. It wasn’t working.
It didn’t matter that the French eye surgeon he’d found and flown in to do the surgery was the best in the world and so ahead of his time he was in a league of his own.
Didn’t matter his entire staff was hand-selected by him and they knew the importance of the outcome.
Nor did it matter he answered all of her questions with profound knowledge, competence and a bedside manner to boot. They understood Titanium’s sight was the only thing potentially left to be saved after an explosion took so much from him. Anonymity was also a major factor and they assured her his identity would remain concealed. They had many high-profile clients who needed discretion and were more than capable to kick some ass and leave John Doe on the signature line.
Amazing what you could get accomplished when you had the ability to pay cash for everything.
The truth of the matter? She was scared. Terrified the surgery would fail and equally frightened it would work.
If the surgery failed, she was afraid his will to keep putting one Titanium foot in front of the other would slowly cease. He tried to downplay it on the way to the private surgery center in a hospital in Dallas. Fifty-fifty chance, who knew, fingers crossed and all but he would be devastated if it didn’t restore his vision.
And what if it succeeded?
What if he could finally see and he was disappointed with things at Elite? What if the work he’d done with the compound left him let down and things were too far gone to change? What if he was disinterested in her when he really saw her?
Standing up to pace again in the private waiting room, for like the fortieth time, finally gave her the impetus to own it.
There lay the crux of it. Her not being good enough. Being less than in his eyes because she wasn’t pretty enough or big boobed enough or exotic enough…
Knowing it and actually owning it in the light of day were two totally different things.
Back and forth across the carpet a couple more dozen times until the eye surgeon peeked his head through the door.
His smile was all she needed and she broke into happy tears.
He gave her a small hug and let her cry it out as he patted her shoulder. “There there, cheri. Your beau will be fine now. The surgery was tres magnifique.”
“He’s not my beau,” she mumbled as he handed her a tissue.
“He calls for you. Raine, correct? Sounds like a beau to me. Come. Dry your eyes and come with me. He keeps trying to take the bandages off, but is not good. His eyes must heal a bit before they’re ready for a… A… What do you Americans say? A test drive?” He patted her cheek and ushered her along toward the door with a warm chuckle and squeeze to her shoulder.
Her thoughts were surprisingly quiet as she moved through a nurse’s station to get to him. His voice reached her first. “Where’s my Raine? Where’s she?” His voice slurred a bit which made her grin.
“She’s coming, Monsieur. Monsieur you cannot remove the bandages. They’re protecting your new eyes. Monsieur. Monsieur!”
Amazing how much better she felt simply hearing his voice. As she pulled the curtain aside she sagged. The man she loved lay in a hospital bed, with a light blue hospital gown on, playing patty-cake with one of the nurses.
He’d reach up and she’d move his hand away. Other hand the same. Rinse, lather, and repeat. Definitely told the full story on how groggy he was since the nurse could hold her own against him.
“Charles Michael, you put your hands down this instant and leave those bandages in place.”
The nurse sagged when he so easily obeyed Raine and stepped aside.
He reached for her and her hand slid into his. His strength holding her palm tightly to his.
“Did work? Eyes work?” he asked.
She sat on the side of his hospital bed, but faced the Dr. who’d come in behind her. “We’ve told him several times we think the surgery was a success but he was insistent to hear it from you.”
“I pay them to fix it. I pay you to tell me the truth. You won’t lie.” He squeezed her hand and for the first time she prayed, no matter the outcome turned out to be for her and him, his eyes took and he was able to regain 100% of his vision.
“Looks like a two thumbs up from Dr. Fontaine.”
Titanium laid on the bed and his entire body relaxed. “Want go home.”
Home. A pang twinged her heart at his four-letter word he’d never uttered before. Took him hopped up on all sorts of sauce for him to use it.
Raine tamped down the wistfulness and kicked her nursing degree back online. “How long before he can be discharged? Special instructions? I’ll be with him 24/7 so I’ll need a full list of all complications and things to watch out for as well.”
“Très bien. The bandages must stay on for at least four days and he needs to be kept as calm as possible. Bernadette will be here in a few minutes to tell you how long we’ll need to monitor him before he’s released along with the list of dos and don’ts. The biggest thing is heat. He can’t stand over a boiling pot, or an open oven door. The implants won’t heal properly and sight will almost certainly be ruined. For good this time.”
Raine took a deep breath. So now it was a wait and see kind of game. She liked it much better when she could stay objective about her patients. Not as if she’d been objective with Charles. Not ever. It would have made it so much easier if she could shut off her emotions and deal in facts. Nothing more. Fat chance with her heart skipping beats, worrying about the future.
Smiling seemed a bit fake but she hopefully pulled it off. “I understand. Heat is the enemy. Got it. Thank you so much for everything. I’ll wait for the rest of the discharge instructions then. Poppy will be in touch to arrange all of your travel home.”
“She’s already taken care of it. Merci beaucoup for allowing us to take care of him. He seems important to you, no?”
Raine stared down at him, as he rested. “More than I care to admit.”
Several days later, at the Elite compound, she had a super impatient former Marine on her hands.
“Let’s take it off now. They said I could take it off today, right? So let’s take it off now.”
“Technically, we shouldn’t remove it for another four and a half hours.” She adjusted the blinds on one of his windows so it wouldn’t be so bright in his room.
“Technically, I’m going to go ape shit if we don’t take it off now.”
Raine smiled despite her nerves. His animation was catching no matter how anxious she was.
She wanted to put it off. As long as possible if she could, but she knew medically the next few hours wouldn’t make or break his ability to see. She thought about pulling the, I am your nurse hear me roar and we can’t do it yet, bit. Then there was the whole Hippocratic Oath thing she agreed to with her nursing degree.
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
“Thank fuck.” He shifted around and sat up a bit more, his bottom half still covered by a sheet.
Sitting next to him, on his bed, with a pair of scissors she took what she hoped was a silent inhale. She steeled her spine and cut through the first layer of gauze. “Now you remember what I said about the heat. It’s a no go. At all. You want to toast your new peepers, it’s not gonna take much.”
They’d already gone over it several times but she needed something to focus on or freaking out would be on her to-do list.
“Got it. And you remember what I said about not telling anyone about it? Not at all? Swear to it. Pinkie swear and all your girlie stuff.”
“Swear, but I want it on record I don’t think it’s the right decision. The others need to know the risks and what they need to be aware of.”
“I’m aware of it. That’s the only thing needed.”
He was right and it was his decision but she still didn’t like it.
Unwrapping the strips, felt as if it would never end and yet it was too fast. She wasn’t ready. The fairytale couldn’t be over already.
“Keep them closed ‘til I say so.”
He nodded but his tight jaw told her patience wouldn’t be his forte for much longer.
The last layer released and she removed the tape holding the pads over both eyes. She grabbed a warm washcloth she’d brought with her and cleaned both eyes. Then it was time.
“Okay. All ready. Go slow.”
He fisted the sheets and slowly pried his eyes open.
“Things will be blurry. Don’t freak out.” I’m doing enough for both of us.
She stayed silent. Any other nervous babble died on the vine as he blinked a couple more times and then looked around.
“I can see.” He whispered the words as if he spoke them too loud everything might disappear again. Taking her hand he squeezed it tight.
Blood rushed to her ears and her heart dropped to her stomach. Emotion clogged her throat at the wonder in his voice.
“It’s day time. Sunshine. My comforter is green. Oh my fucking God.”
She’d been following his comments, looking around the room with him, unable to fully comprehend what it would be like to see again.
“Raine.” He exhaled her name half statement, half question.
She met his gaze…
She met his eyes for the first time.
Shock morphed his features as he stared at her and her shoulders fell. He was stunned silent. Nothing says less than like not being able to form words at their first hello.
“Devastated” didn’t actually come close to expounding on how she felt.
Emotion threatened to erupt so she removed her hand from his even though he tried to hold onto it.
Putting on a brave face might kill her but she was getting out of his room without breaking down.
“I’m sure you could use a few minutes alone, so let me pick up all this stuff and I’ll leave you be for a bit. Now you won’t have any excuse not to help me clean around here.”
Giving him a hard time like always seemed like a great plan, except her hands shook and tears filled her eyelids.
She tried to get the scissors on the nightstand twice but her hands wouldn’t cooperate. They hit the carpet and she had to snatch them up a third time before they actually stayed where she wanted them. Of course, a tear slipped free when she leaned over so she brushed it away quickly.
“Raine, look at me.”
Somewhere in her foggy brain she realized he’d called her name several times, but anymore of the talkie talkie would turn into a blubber fest.
“Raine.” Titanium took her hand to stop something she was doing. No clue what she’d been attempting since her heart was trying to beat out of her chest.
“Why won’t you look at me? I want to see you.”
“I know I’m nothing special, so you don’t have to pretend, okay?” Wow. Not what she’d wanted to say, and definitely not the hey-how-are-yas to keep the tears in check.
“Nothing special? Are you shitting me?”
He seemed confused which actually penetrated her evacuation fog. Blinking at him, he still stared at her with the same frozen expression. “Do I really need to spell it out?”
“Why don’t you, so I can know what page you’re on.”
The tone he used reminded her of on adult patronizing a child who wasn’t being reasonable. Of all the nerve.
“I’ve been plain my entire life. My hair is in a braid because it’s easier to manage. My boobs are small.” She tried to take her hands away to motion at her chest but he wouldn’t let go, and he sure as heck wouldn’t stop gawking. “Plain.”
And of course now his eyes were on her lackluster rack.
“You think I’m, what? Disappointed in you?” He made an are you fucking kidding me face and blinked again.
“Well—aren’t you?”
“No.” His palm slid along her cheek and he leaned forward into her personal bubble. The tip of his nose touched hers and she might have eeked. “I’m gob smacked by you. Stunned into silence because you’re so damn gorgeous.” His thumb brushed her cheek bone and she closed her eyes, unable to process what he was saying.
“But my boobs are small.”
“I’ve had my hands on them. And my mouth. They aren’t small. They’re delicious.” He moved his palm to her chest and slipped his fingers down the opening in the V-neck of her scrubs.
One of her hands latched onto his wrist and the other she moved over his lap so she could lean on the other side of him instead of fall over.
He groaned.
Her hand brushed the sheet over his lap, and he was, hard?
“Really?” She couldn’t help asking and he moved the fabric so they could both see.
“My cock isn’t lying to you.”
“Male sexual organs can become erect without purpose or stimulation. It’s physiological.”
“Fuck that.”
She was up over his lap and on her back on the other side of him before she squeaked in protest. Her shoes and socks were off first, then her pants, panties, shirt, bra.
“Titanium what are you—Oh gawd.”
He moved between her legs, shoving them wide, him on one elbow beside her as he guided his cock inside. “My cock has a purpose and I am most definitely stimulated by you. And I am most definitely not your patient right now. Got it?” He leaned to the side a bit to watch every inch of him disappear inside her. “Fuck, I love how your pussy swallows me. Sexiest thing I’ve seen in years.”
And then he smiled. At his own joke.
So what did she do?
Burst into tears.
“My precious, Raine. Don’t cry.” He gathered her close, pumping inside her as she wrapped her arms around him.
They held each other, both completely connected in every way. Him moving inside her, thrusting deep, taking her.
He was so damn hard.
The walls of her pussy fluttered around him and he must have felt it too because he shifted away. Up on his elbows as her fingers flexed on his sides and she bit her lip.
“I need you to come on my cock. I need to see you. Watch you as you come for me.” He kissed her again as her hips jerked involuntarily. “How you could ever think you were plain is lunacy. You’re—gorgeous.”
He didn’t stare at one thing on her face, focused on her lips or her eyes. No. He looked at everything, as if he were cataloging her features. It reminded her of a portrait artist. How they’d stare at a subject and see them. Not the angles and shadows of a face. They could see the person beneath the canvas. Capture a piece of them and immortalize more than their façade.
He stared at her with awe and her heart fluttered.
Her pussy squeezed him once and he sped up. Hips flexing, he push his shaft into her in ever increasing thrusts.
“Come for me, Raine. Let me see it.”
A handful of seconds later, pleasure expanded through her with the epicenter where he was inside her. His focus on her pushed her over the edge. There was so much emotion on his face and no more words were spoken.
Intensity shot through her as she came. Closing her eyes, her spine arched and her head tilted to the side. The rhythm of her pussy squeezing him, matched the frantic beat of her heart.
And then he was coming with her. Filling her with his cum.
He buried his head at her throat and nipped her throat. They both groaned, grasping each other to get closer, even though the word for anything closer hadn’t been invented yet.
Pleasure so intense it became a physical being around them stood the hairs on her arms up and curled her toes as her orgasm expanded further.
Slowly, he relaxed against her and she held him tight, not wanting the moment to end. Not ever. It had been perfect between them.
Maybe her fears weren’t valid. They were certainly real but maybe her fears were nothing more. Some ethereal being related to the boogeyman or the man in the moon.
He shifted onto his side and hugged her into the cocoon of his body.
Sleep pulled him under fast. Exhaustion sapped his strength and she hadn’t been aware of how tired he truly was until then. Which told her exactly how up in her own head she’d been not to realize it. The surgery had worked and he could see. It was a miracle of modern technology and she took her first full breath he’d told her about the surgery the week before.
Adjusting them in bed took a little bit of doing until they both had their heads at the top of the bed on pillows. She thought she’d done it without waking him, but then he blinked at her and smiled.
“So beautiful.”
Basking in his stare, her phone went off.
A text. Another one. And then it started ringing.
Only the members of the Elite teams had her number so she knew it was something important, and she knew one of the teams was scheduled to arrive at the compound today.
Reaching over Titanium toward the nightstand, he licked her nipple and she almost dropped the phone.
Uranium.
She had to clear her throat, twice, so she could answer. “Hello, Raine speaking.”
“Hey, Raine. It’s Rad. Lithium and I are inbound. ETA 20 minutes. He got sliced up a bit before we evac’d out of the shithole our mission turned out to be and we need your help. Can you meet us when we pull in so you can put humpty dumpty back together again?”
“I heard that.” Lithium’s voice echoed through the phone and thankfully he didn’t sound horrible. Uranium must have had the Bluetooth enabled through the SUV they drove. Neither of them sounded as if the wounds were life threatening but wounds could also be deceiving.
Who knew what she would find when they arrived.
“And Michelle’s kind of freaking out and could use a bit of reassurance he’ll probably live.”
“Where’s she at?” She looked at her watch, which was currently the only thing on her person.
“Waiting at the steps of the main house.” Lithium answered. “Tell her I’ll be fine. It’s a scratch. Sorta.”
She worried about leaving Titanium and she nibbled her bottom lip. Her duty to the group warred with her love for the man beside her.
“Go. They need you.”
As if he knew exactly what her concerns were and simply brushed them aside.
“I’ll be on the steps in less than five minutes.” She was out of bed and pulling her clothes on as she finished. “I’ll take Michelle with me to the makeshift med room and I’ll put her to work to keep her busy till you arrive. Gurney needed?”
“Negative.” Lithium answered again. “I can get to you unassisted.”
“I’ll fireman hold his ass if I have to.” Uranium’s glee at throwing his weight around made her smile.
“Careful and I’ll see you in a few.”
“Roger.”
The call disconnected and she sat down to tug her socks and shoes on. “You sure you’ll be okay? I’ll have my phone on me.”
“Are you kidding me?” He yawned and snuggled down into his pillow. “This is awesome. I don’t need you. I mean I don’t need you. How epic is that?”
His enthusiasm was the polar opposite of the ice settling in her veins. Thankfully, he was facing away or he probably would have had to witness her face turn white.
“It’s amazing and wonderful and hell yes to independence. July 4th has nothing on the week before Thanksgiving when I got my freedom back.”
Devastated. Again. The beginning of the end. He could think she was cute, but he was right. He didn’t really need her much anymore. Hadn’t for a while. She just hadn’t expected the final nail on the coffin to rip threw her so painfully.
“I’ll have my phone if you run into trouble. Phone call away.” Random stuff came out of her mouth as she grabbed her cell again and opened the door. Annie, who lay outside made quick work of coming in and getting on the bed.
Titanium yawned, smiled, petted Annie, and stared at her adoringly. “I’m good. My girl will keep me company. Such a pretty girl, aren’t you?”
Her goodbye was more of a mad dash out the bedroom, down the hall, the stairs and out the door. She rushed to get to Lithium. It wasn’t because she was running from something. Not the man she loved.
She helped Lithium in a daze. He had several areas needing to be stitched up and she hoped she’d be there long enough to at least finalize the medical facility and then Titanium could hire someone else to run it. Or Hazel could do it if she wanted to.
Lithium and Michelle asked if she was okay. Oh, yes. All good. Lot on her mind. They asked about Titanium. His eyes? Yes, he could see. Worst of it over. Not out of the woods yet. Who knows what the hell else. Verbal vomit extraordinaire.
Stitched up, she cleaned Lithium’s side and sent him home so she could sanitize everything and meet her freak out express train to How do I live without him?
It wasn’t a long trip, and the scenery was lost on her.
And she bolted as soon as she could and tried not to talk to many people. She sure as hell didn’t need anyone else to catch on to her freak out fest. The fear and hope rollercoaster she’d been riding nearly got the best of her.
Again.
Everything was too much so she latched onto the idea of running and wanted to take Annie with her. She snuck into the house and Charles was asleep again. Resting deeply, and she wanted to watch him sleep for forever.
No.
She paused to stare.
No. No. No. Shaking her head she whispered to Annie to come with her and she followed.
They’d go for a run.
And it would be good.
Ish.