Chapter Seven
Brad surprised him on numerous levels. After their shower, Sachi and Brad returned to the living room of the lodge with flushed, relaxed expressions and Sachi curled right into Gabriel’s lap. They all took turns making food, talking, and Gabriel found a growing number of items he and the other man had in common. The continued lack of assumption on Brad’s part helped to settle Gabriel’s reservations. He made suggestions and expressed his interest, but he didn’t push.
More amusing to Gabriel, chess wasn’t Brad’s game. Sachi wanted to run. After her emotional night, the sudden need to run—even in subzero weather—hadn’t surprised him. Sachi exerted control over her body when she felt the world spinning without her. She could maintain her form. Giving her some time—and space—Gabriel asked Merc to shadow Sachi on her run while he and Brad finished their game. He hadn’t mentioned going over the intel—not because he didn’t trust Merc, but quite the opposite. John was one hundred percent on Sachi’s side, if he thought she needed to know, he wouldn’t hold it back.
“What my sources have been able to decipher so far is the person hunting you is a woman.” He’d gotten that update while they were in the shower and he’d checked in with Chrome on a minor fishing expedition. As far as Sachi’s unit commander was concerned, the fishing expedition continued along with fresh shots of Sachi. These were from Vegas and, in nearly all of them, Cobalt had his back to the camera. Between the graininess and quality, Gabriel suspected the source wanted to make it look like the man with her was Brad.
Fingers on a rook, Brad’s relaxed expression erased and his eyes narrowed. The draining away of anything friendly in those eyes might have given a lesser man pause. “When the hell did you have time to reach out to your sources?”
Not smiling, Gabriel shrugged. “From the moment the promise of a threat against you included her.”
The moment elongated, then his suspicion abated and Brad moved the rook forward two spaces. Blowing out a breath, he shook his head. “Of course you have, sorry. For a split second there…”
“You had to wonder if I was the one gaslighting you, so you’d go the fuck away?” The accusation wouldn’t have surprised Gabriel, after all, he certainly possessed the skills and the contacts to create a smokescreen.
“Except you won’t do that to her. You won’t risk her.” No question or doubt marred the statement. “And I don’t think you’re going to risk me.”
Smiling faintly, Gabriel used his bishop to take Brad’s rook and put his king in check. “Check.”
“I hate this fucking game,” Brad murmured, studying the board. “So, woman is behind the search. Did they say why they think it’s a woman?”
“Linguistics. Syntax. A visceral hatred for Sachi.” The last worried him some, except his girl was more than capable of kicking the shit out of men twice her size. A woman would be more in her weight class and, unless they got the drop on her…
Scratching his chin, Brad mused. “Men don’t usually hate her. Want to control her? Push her down? Overwhelm her? Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of asshats try that shit with her. They don’t hate her.”
“Hard to hate the grail.” They shared a grin.
“She is that.” He’d never have put it in those terms, but the word fit. Hadn’t he been obsessed with her for years before finally finding her? Hell, he was still obsessed with her in many ways—obsessed with her happiness, obsessed with keeping the road clear so she could be herself—at least obsession had a name in love. Brad considered his options for getting out of check, of which there were only two. If he took the first, he’d be in checkmate in three moves, if he took the second, it would take six.
Gabriel was patient.
“So, female.” The other man tapped the desk. “Still doesn’t give us a lot to work with…”
“Have you pissed off that many women over the years?” He couldn’t resist the dig, not when the open shot was waiting to be taken.
“My fair share…” The flip response trailed off, and Brad’s hand froze on his queen. “Wait, they’re focusing on finding Sachi now, not me?”
“They’re still looking for you, but that shot on the beach keeps coming up and other shots of her in Vegas. According to Chrome, Ant is hot on this asshole’s trail, but they are good enough to keep burying themselves, although it’s taking a lot of resources to keep burying them.” A serious problem if her image, linked to the Las Vegas destruction kept cropping into the searches. Homeland hadn’t resolved the open case and so far, he’d managed to misdirect any inquiries into her survival and extraction. Elite Metal was never there and couldn’t be linked. “If it were Red Wolf, he wouldn’t be narrowing his focus like this.”
The terrorist had been behind the trap which sabotaged Operation Phoenix and essentially destroyed their careers and lives. They still hunted for him, and sooner or later, they would get him. It wasn’t a matter of if, only a matter of when.
“No,” Brad agreed, then took out Gabriel’s knight using the queen. So he’d taken option two. Five more moves to checkmate. “Red Wolf wants our guts on the deck, all shiny and splayed so we can watch ourselves die.” He sounded almost gleeful about it. “Since we fucking want the same, I get it. The beach…” The reference seemed to jar Brad. “What if that’s the clue?”
Gabriel’s gut didn’t disagree. “They want to lure you or her back to that beach. Either to visit the memories…”
“…or walk into their trap.” Pushing away from the table, Brad rubbed his arm. The stitches in his shoulder had to be itching. Sachi had checked the bandaging and her handiwork on the new stitches after their shower. Prowling through the lodge to the windows, he studied the white-painted landscape beyond. Sachi had been gone for an hour, but Merc was with her.
She was fine.
“If you’re thinking we go, check it out, and trip the trap,” Gabriel mused aloud, “I’ve been considering the same thing.”
“Could be a wild goose chase.” Brad’s tone betrayed no emotion.
“Yes.”
“Could be a mistake. We’ve walked into traps before, thinking we knew what the op was.”
Gabriel nodded. He’d considered that possibility as well. “Yes.”
“Whatever we do, she has to be in the middle of it.” Folding his arms, Brad seemed to retreat into himself. The transformation, so similar to Sachi’s submergence into a role, gave Gabriel further insight into the other man. Who’d taught whom that trick?
“She is the best suited to be herself, and if we can lure out the asshole behind this little distraction and deal with it, we’re all free to go home.” Free to get back to work.
“Free to hunt Red Wolf.” Something cold rolled through those words. Hatred was too weak a word. Brad pivoted and faced him wearing a smile completely at odds with his words. “Or we get a tan and more frustration.”
“Feels right.” He couldn’t tell him why or even point to the evidence and say whom they wanted was on that beach in the Caribbean. The more he turned the idea over in his head, the more it seemed right.
“You win in five moves,” Brad said, grabbing his jacket, then tossing Gabriel his. “Talk to me while I smoke. I need to think this through.”
“Which part? The beach or putting Sachi out there?”
The other man paused and frowned. “How the fuck do you do that?”
“Do what?” Rising, he pulled on his coat and kept his expression bland. It drove Sachi nuts, too. But the likeness between the two, the shared habits, the careful phrasing and the deflections—Brad and Sachi were two sides of the same coin. No wonder they were combustible together.
Scowling, Brad jerked open the door and let in a whoosh of icy air. “Anticipating my reactions and what the fuck I’m thinking. It’s annoying.”
He was good at his job and it turned out to have a huge payoff in his life. “Maybe you’re an open book.” Outside he leaned against the railing and stared down the trail Sachi had jogged off on earlier. Snow up to their asses, yet she went running. God, he loved her.
“Maybe you’re an asshole.” Brad made it sound like a compliment.
“Could be. Stop trying to change the subject. If we want this settled before she’s back, we discuss it now.” He’d never lie to her, never hold her back and he trusted her abilities, but he refused to risk her on a fool’s errand. He and Brad had to be on the exact same page before they involved her.
“Not changing the subject, just not liking the idea. A bulletproof vest on a beach is impossible. While she’s the best person for the job, all it takes is a sniper with a rifle and it’s game over.” On that, they agreed. “Rather just fucking handle it myself.”
“That’s nice. You handled shit by yourself for three years. You can go back to that, but if you do? Don’t come looking for her again.” The line in the sand—or snow, as it were—was nonnegotiable.
The lighter in his hand flared as Brad touched the flame to the end of his cigar. He puffed twice, sucking the heat into the tobacco and stared at Gabriel. “That sounded like a threat.”
“It’s a fact. Sachi and I have rules. We don’t lie. We don’t leave each other out. We accept each other for exactly who we are. She will have missions. She’ll do them. I’ll back her on site or by waiting for her…but we don’t lie. We don’t leave anyone behind. You can do things your way, run solo, play the ghost. If that’s what you want, you can do it. I’m not kidding, however, I will fight you returning and I will win.” No games. No playing. “I opened the door to you. I’m good with you being here. I’m not good with you fucking her over again.” Ever. In any existence. “We’re on the same page with this, or we’re done before we take another step.”
Another puff of the cigar then Brad nodded slowly. Ice frosted in his eyes, but he gave a tight smile. “Good to know where we stand. I’ve spent three years being a ghost, whether I liked it or not. Risking her is not something I’m comfortable with—a fact Titanium used whenever they sent her on missions. They made sure I was somewhere else.”
Which explained his absence in Vegas. “She is who she is. No one puts her in a cage—not Chrome, not Titanium, not us. Deal?”
Blowing a stream of smoke toward the overhang on the porch, Brad nodded. “Deal, though you may have to call me on it from time to time.”
“No problem.” Gabriel studied the landscape then checked his watch. What the fuck was taking her normal forty-five to sixty minute run so long?
“Ten minutes, then we go look for her.” Brad’s turn to read my mind.
“Agreed.”
Then they stared at the trail and waited.
“Both of them?” John stared at her as if she’d sprouted two heads. Even the disfiguring scars couldn’t disguise the question in his expression.
“Yes, both.” She talked between pants. They’d set off slow in the cold to warm up their muscles, but by the second mile they’d upped their speed. They were angling uphill, through snow and at altitude. Yes, her heart hammered so hard she could hear it thrumming in her ears. Legs burning, face chilled and heart racing—God it was good to be alive.
His continued silence, however, nibbled at her on the ascent and when they reached a point where the hill leveled out, she dropped from the run to a walk. A stitch burrowed into her side and she bent at the waist, gasping for deeper breaths of the icy air. Apparently she needed to do more high-level training. The lower oxygen content was getting to her.
“Spit it out,” she ground between harsh inhales.
Like her, John’s breathing was labored, but he didn’t seem anymore winded than her. Instead of replying, he shrugged and scanned the area around them. Silence wasn’t what she wanted from this conversation. After several long, very pregnant seconds, he said, “Walk it off, then we’ll run down.”
Sachi stopped moving and pivoted to face him. “John…what the fuck?”
“Apparently you have two guys for that Sach. You don’t need my opinion.” Him holding out on her? Since when?
“In twenty years, you’ve never butted the fuck out of my business if you had a real concern. So either you don’t think there’s any issue or something is rubbing you the wrong way and you don’t want to piss me off. Which is it?” Since when had John ever edited his thoughts with her?
“You’re too close.” While he continued to scan the area around them, she studied him. Rarely would she leave herself so exposed, but John missed little and she didn’t want to be Copper at the moment. That reality rocked her, and she frowned. “Too close to both of them to see it rationally.”
“So, tell me what you see.”
“No.”
Excuse me? Jaw tightening, she slammed her fist into his bicep. The blow hurt her chilled fingers more than it moved him and he gave her a bland look. “Fuck your no. What the hell do you mean no?”
The right corner of his mouth kicked a fraction higher. “No means—not doing it. You and the professor have something good. If you want to fuck it up by bringing that asshat into it, my opinion isn’t going to change anything.”
“Brad’s made mistakes.”
“Uh huh.”
“I’m not stupid.”
“Didn’t say you were.” Yeah, but it was what he didn’t say that left her stunned. With a half-growl, half sigh, John paced a path around the snow-packed clearing then stomped back to her. “Brad gets inside your head and fucks you up. You do stupid shit for him, make commitments, and when he was gone—it fucked you up worse. He lied, Sachi. Plain and simple. He let everyone think he was dead. You don’t do that to family.”
No. She’d never do that to John and he’d never have done it to her. Even for the two years they were apart, she’d known he was out there. “He has his reasons.”
“Not good ones.” Rock solid in his position, he didn’t budge. Dropping his chin, he met her gaze. “Are they?”
“No. They aren’t.” Conceding the point, she braced her hands on her thighs and bent at the waist. Stretching her legs bought her time.
“I don’t fuck him, so maybe I don’t get it. You let someone you care about think you’re dead…you don’t get the right to screw up what they have.”
“You like Gabriel.” He’d never admit it.
“Don’t hate him.”
She bit back a small smile.
“You love him, that’s what matters.” His response didn’t surprise her.
“I love Brad, too.” His loss was still an open wound inside of her, one she’d thought had healed over with scar tissue. Maybe it had, at least until that morning in the hangar when Titanium ripped it open with the KA-BAR of their survival.
“Loved.” Who was he correcting? Her or himself?
“You’re pissed. I get that.”
“Good.” He bumped her chin with a light fist. “You need a knock in the head. The professor’s not so smart if he’s letting Brad get to you. Thought he’d do better. He sees you. You told me that.”
She had, because Gabriel saw her in a way no one else had and she suspected no one else would. Nothing she said or did pushed him away. He didn’t run from the darker parts of her, the parts even she didn’t understand. How many months had she been having those nightmares? How many nights had he coaxed her from the darkness? “He knows me, but he also loves me. Sometimes one gets in the way of the other.” Gabriel accepted Brad, so maybe he saw something, too. Needing both left her a little twisted inside, but if she could have them, if she didn’t make them both miserable… “John?”
He scowled. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Lean on him because he was her rock? Need her brother as much as ever, even now?
“Don’t John me.”
She laughed. “John, I can’t change the last three years. Neither can Brad. I figured out I don’t want to, either.”
Suspicion sharpened in his gaze.
“I wouldn’t have Gabriel.” Reaching for the sky, she stretched, then settled on her feet. “We’re fucked up, you and me. I’m used to life kicking me in the teeth. This is really new to me, getting what I wanted so much…and I don’t want to screw it up. I need you to be okay with it.”
The low, gravelly grunt of discontent jarred loose some of her unease. “You’re fucking perfect, they should be grateful you show them the time of day. But if I gotta pick, I vote for the professor.”
“I don’t want to choose between them.” She didn’t and she wouldn’t. In some ways, she’d made her choice. Gabriel allowed Brad to be a part of them, Gabriel let him in, and she embraced the choice because Gabriel saw what she needed. If she’d had to choose…
“I suppose this means I have to keep his sorry ass alive.” John shook his head at her. “Two men?”
“I’m a demanding woman, what can I say?”
“Greedy bitch.” But he said with a hint of a smile. “Fine. I’ll keep the jackass alive. But one fucking step out of line…”
Closing the distance between them, she gave him a hug. “Yeah, yeah. They’ll never see you coming.”
“Damn straight. And cut the mushy shit.” Still, his smile didn’t diminish. “Next thing you know you’ll be talking baby crap.”
A shudder went through her and she punched him. “Asshole.”
“Bitch.”
All was right with her world. Well, mostly right. They still had to find out who the fuck was targeting Brad, deal with it and then kill Red Wolf. Then she could concentrate on the happily ever after shit.
Copper sucked in a deep breath of the thin air and glanced at the icy silence around them. Mountaintops were kind of creepy when they were this still and it made her neck itch. Merc scratched the back of his head. “Are we done with our Oprah hour, or do you need me to talk you out of this idea?”
“No, we’re good.” The bruises on her heart still stung, maybe they always would. She’d taken Brad back into her bed, thrilled to be held by him and to hold him in return. The night before with Gabriel had left her shaken to her core, open, raw and vulnerable to both men. But I haven’t forgiven him… The realization didn’t sit easily with her soul.
“Sachi?” John’s hand closed on her shoulder and she leaned into his grip.
“I’m okay.” A lie. But if she said it enough, she could make true. If she couldn’t forgive Brad, it wouldn’t matter how well he and Gabriel got along or how much she wanted it to work.
For once, John let her bullshit slide. “Just give me the word.”
“Let’s run.” They were miles from the lodge, and the run back would clear her head. Side-by-side, they began their descent, and the burn in her muscles took over. Copper turned the situation over in her head. Examine it from all sides, put herself in Brad’s shoes. What if she’d been the one presumed dead? What if she’d woken in the hospital with Titanium and his people?
John grunted as they continued their zig-zag downhill dash.
Would she have followed orders? Would she have let them think her gone? What if they’d locked her up?
No. They’d have had to put a bullet in her. Brad had made a tactical decision—a bad one, one Copper might never forgive. Goddammit, I want him back. Maybe Sachi could…so, the real question was, could she carve away the part of herself holding back? Or would it cut her last tie to being who she was?
Who are you? Sachi? Copper? Gabriel’s girl? Tungsten’s widow? Brad’s lover?
“Fucked up is what I am,” she declared to the cold.
“Preaching to the choir,” John replied and she laughed. Yep, definitely preaching to the choir. “You’re running like a girl.”
“It’s the boobs,” she shouted. Inspired, she pushed herself and he caught her easily, but she didn’t care. Running pumped adrenaline and flooded her body with endorphins and reminded her she was still very much alive. Might take her fifty years to figure her shit out, but until then, she was all in.
They met Gabriel and Brad on their descent following their trail in the snow. They hadn’t made much effort to hide their path, but having them out looking for her filled one of the hollow places inside her. Their grim expressions relaxed as she approached, but the guarded look in their eyes set off warning bells. “You figured something out, didn’t you?”
“We need to talk. We need Copper and,” Gabriel said with a glance at John. “We’re going to need your help.”
Grounding herself, she packed away the emotional baggage and nodded. “Let’s do it.” Playtime was over.
Dammit.