Chapter Twenty-Seven

Giles

"WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT?" Luke asks.

"I went to check on Julia. Last time I'd seen her she was sick. Food poisoning."

"Food poisoning...sure. Was it from all the meat you gave her?" He grins then shifts to avoid being hit by the crumbled up napkin I throw at him. "You were gone Saturday night. Then you skipped out on dinner. Were you with Julia both times?"

I give him a noncommittal shrug but Luke isn't deterred. He sets his elbows down on either side of his fries and leans into the table. "What's going on with that? Don't skimp on the details."

"Nothing's going on. We're just friends." I take another bite of my hotdog. 

"You say that now. I give you another week before Ava walks in on her sucking you off." The thought rolls over me too vividly. Maybe Luke notices because he adds, "Don't tell me you haven't thought about it." 

I run a hand over the back of my neck. "Yeah, of course I've thought about it."

"So what's stopping you?"

"I already told you, she's not the type to mess around. And anyway, I don't screw where I eat."

"Right," he snorts. "That stupid rule about not bringing girls to your bed."

I busy myself with chewing, not wanting to inadvertently reveal that Julia has already spent a night in my bed. Luke would never believe nothing happened if he heard that.

"Not the type to mess around," Luke repeats under his breath. "That's a shame because she's got a fucking smoking body."

He has no idea how right he is.

"I don't want her to be just another hookup. She's more than that. She's...I don't know, man. I like her. Like, as a person."

Luke laughs. And he doesn't stop laughing, head back, shoulders shaking. I stare at him until he finally settles down, wipes invisible tears from his eyes, and says, "Oh man, this is perfection."

"What's so damn funny?"

"She's more than that. I don't want her to be just another hookup, I like her," he mimics my words in a whiny way that gets under my skin. "Are you listening to yourself?"

"Look man, lay off. I don't expect you to understand me wanting to be friends with her."

"Are you saying she's fair game, then?"

I set my jaw but try to keep my voice even. "If you touch her? You and I are going to have problems."

Luke lets out a low whistle. "Oh yeah, that's a platonic reaction, all right."

I grab my near empty cup of soda and get up from the table without looking at him. My skin still prickles with the thought of him or any other guy trying to have their way with her.

"You're in trouble," Luke calls out as I head to the restaurant's drink machine. "She hasn't given you any and you're already whipped."

He might not be wrong, but he pisses me off all the same. I know how I sound. I know how hard I'd laugh at myself if I were Luke. That doesn't change the fact that I want to be around her and if that means forging a friendship with a girl in a way I never even wanted before, then so be it. Because helping her feel better when she's sick or sad, making her laugh, reeling her into my life, seems so much more gratifying than any girl I could fuck. 

Hooking up gives me something to look forward to for a few hours. But being around Julia is something I've been looking forward to every single day. Consistently, effortlessly. 

A small voice in the back of my head warns that I might just be confused. That maybe this is all the result of me not getting something I want for the first time in my life. My gut tells me it's more than that. My appetite for women has warped into an appetite for Julia. A different type of craving I'm unaccustomed to. A craving to catch her eye at the right time and share a knowing smile. A craving to share secrets and get to know the little things that make her tick. To hear her laughter. 

When I lie in bed for the night, I try and fail for two hours to fall asleep. Sleep eludes me at times, but tonight is different. This is worse than my typical insomnia. And I don't have to wonder for too long what the cause of the imbalance is.

I pull out my phone and shoot a text to Julia.

[Hey, are you home?]

[Yeah. Got in from work a little while ago. What's up?]

[Just wondering what you're doing.]

[Trying to go to sleep.]

[In your bed?]

[Uh, yeah.]

[Damn. This is going to be a long night.]

[Why?]

[I don't know, it's like I got used to feeling you next to me. Having trouble sleeping.]

[Damn it. Me too :/ ]

[Come to my room.]

[How is it you sound like a pervert even when I can't hear your voice?]

[I'm not. I just want to feel you next to me. You smell nice.]

A minute passes and I wonder if I shouldn't have said that. I like messing with her. It makes her struggle not to smile while her blush gives her away, two of my favorite sights lately.

[Okay, let me put on some clothes.]

[You can come in your underwear, I don't mind. And make sure to forget your bra again.]

[ >:( ]

[Haha. Just kidding. I'll be here when you're ready.]

A few minutes later, my door creaks open. I'm lying on my back, but I don't move, not wanting to discourage her. Her muffled footsteps come around the bed before the mattress shifts and she's under the covers. I pull the sheet over our heads, shifting to my side so that she comes into view. 

"Hi," I say, voice low. 

"Hi."

It's weird, lying side-by-side and face-to-face, eyeing her features and the curve of her lips, and just enjoying that she's here beside me without trying to touch her. I peer down between us and see she's wearing pajama pants and a tank top that has ridden up slightly. The waistband of her pants is low on her hipbones and I have the irresistible urge to tug it down.

"I have a sort of personal question for you," she says.

"All right..."

"That girl that cheated on you, your ex. Why was that your only serious relationship?"

I resist the urge to let out a frustrated breath. I don't want to talk about Claire. But the curiosity in Julia's eyes prompts me to answer. 

"I had a few girlfriends in high school, but you know how that is. I was just a kid. Claire was my first college girlfriend. Before her, I was content just messing around. I wasn't interested in anything serious."

Julia nods slowly, as though she guessed as much. "She must've been something else if she got you to change your ways."

I think on this for a moment then shake my head. "There was nothing especially different about her. It was me. I wanted a change. I guess after my dad died and my mother--" I cut off, not expecting that information to nearly leave my lips in this conversation. I try to continue as normal. "I guess after all that happened...I wanted something..."

"Stable?"

I shrug. My reasons don't matter anymore.

There's another question burning in her eyes, but I can tell she's holding it at bay. "I'm sorry she cheated on you."

I yawn. "Yeah, well...I learned my lesson."

"What lesson is that?"

I brush my fingertips over one of her eyebrows. "Go to sleep, little leopard. You're too curious for your own good."

"One more thing," she says.

I sigh, but then smile despite myself, waiting for her next line of questioning. I secretly enjoy the way she seems so eager to know every little thing about me.

"Ava mentioned a while back that you can sing," she says. "Is that true?"

The smile freezes on my face. "I'm not going to sing for you, if that's your next request."

"Oh, come on," she pleads. "Please?"

"No. I haven't sang in a long time. My mother used to make me sing at events when I was younger. Then I set my foot down and told her I wasn't interested in being a singer. Just because you can do something well doesn't mean it's what you should do for a living."

"I get it," she says, though she seems disappointed. "But you really won't let me hear you sing? Just a little?"

I shake my head in response.

She groans out in disappointment. "Fine. At least tell me, what was the last song you performed in front of people?"

"Amazing Grace," I answer without thinking. 

Julia goes very still, her lashes lower and I can almost hear the buzz of her thoughts putting the pieces together in her head. The last time I sang for anyone was at my father's funeral.

"Thanks," she whispers, closing her eyes. I'm not sure why she thanks me, but I stare at her for a few seconds before closing my own eyes.

There's something I can't deny. She's quickly slipping past me in a way I'm not sure I want. Parts of me fold inward to let her in, even though I know it's not a good idea. I'm allowing her to take root in me, roots that can't be permanent. 

Because nothing in life is ever permanent.