I was going to puke.

Seriously, if I didn’t get this man out of my office and as far away from me as possible, I was going to vomit. His presence was unlocking all sorts of emotions I didn’t want to experience, which was making me sick to my stomach.

I gestured toward one of the plastic chairs that sat opposite my desk. “Have a seat, Ty.” Plopping down in my chair, I grabbed a blank intake form out of my top desk drawer and started to fill it out. “Do you mind if I look at the records the hospital sent over?”

He shook his head. “Of course not.” Tossing the file onto my desk, he leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers behind his head. “So how have you been, Madelyn?”

I didn’t miss the way he emphasized my name. Still a smartass, I see. “Just peachy. You?”

“Could be better.” I snorted at his response. “Haven’t seen you around Kissler in quite a while.”

Opening the folder from the hospital, I began to read. “Probably because I haven’t stepped foot in Kissler in six years.” 

“Six years? Jesus Christ, Maddie.”

I dropped my pen and looked up. “Madelyn. Not Maddie. Ma-duh-lin. Got it?”

Dropping his arms to his sides, he sat up straight. “Yeah, I’ve got it. Sorry.”

Sorry, my ass. The man had never been sorry for a dang thing. Least not where I was concerned. Glancing back down at the paper, I continued to read.

Three minutes later, I wanted to stab someone in the eye with a fork.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Agitated, I tugged at the hem of my shirt and looked over at Ty. “Did you read any of this?”

“No. Dr. Rollins filled me in before we left the ER.”

I didn’t understand what I was reading. How did she… I mean… “How has Clara survived this long?” Fractures. Concussions. Burns. A stab wound? “How the hell is her husband not in prison for attempted murder?” My rage reached a dangerous level in two seconds flat. Madder than a hornet, I kicked the small trash can that sat beside my desk. “Please explain that to me!”

Ty held both of his hands up in a defensive gesture. “Calm down, hellcat.”

I lost it.

“Calm down? Calm. Down?” I grabbed the file from my desk and turned it towards him. A fire lit in the deepest recess of my guts, and I wanted nothing more than to rip someone apart with my bare hands. Slamming the file down on my desk, I gritted my teeth and clenched every muscle in my body. It was the only thing that kept me from screaming at the top of my lungs.

Pointing at the sloppily written words in black ink, I screamed, “He’s fractured her jaw twice. Broken her orbital bone once. Given her multiple concussions. Burned her with cigarettes and stabbed her in the goddamn thigh! And her poor boys. God only fucking knows what those poor kids have seen!” I pointed towards my office door. “That family out there has been living in hell, and you’re telling me to calm down?” Plucking the stapler off my desk, I launched it at him with all my might. Internally, I hoped that it cracked his thick skull wide open. “On behalf of the thousands of abused women and children in this state alone, fuck you, Ty Jacobs!”

He leaped out of his chair, narrowly missing the flying hunk of metal. “Have you lost your damn mind, woman?”

 “Lost my mind?” Tossing my head back, I cackled like a crazed witch. “I lost my godforsaken mind six years ago and I ain’t found it yet!”

I picked up an empty coffee cup from my filing cabinet and reared back to throw it, aiming right for one my childhood bullies head. “Don’t you throw that, Maddie!”

Maddie. He called me Maddie. Again.

I couldn’t stop the angry tears that fell from my eyes. “I told you not to call me that!” My chest heaved and my face burned. “I told you not to fucking call me that!”

I swung my arm forward, releasing the coffee cup. Ty dived out of the way and straight into…me.

Crap!

Wrapping his arms around my body, he pressed my arms against my sides. Losing my balance, I went down, and he followed. Contorting his body, so he took the brunt of the impact, Ty hit the floor, hard, and I landed right on top of him.

I struggled and tried my best to get free, but it was no use. Ty was strong. “Let me go!”

He squeezed me against him. “What is the matter with you?”

I pushed. I pulled. I kicked with my legs.

Nada.

“Let me go, Ty!”

“Not a chance. Not until you tell me what in the hell is the matter with you.”

What was the matter with me? I was a giant ball of chaos that was moments away from splintering into a thousand jagged little pieces. Holding onto both sanity and reality by a frayed thread, I was teetering on the precipice of slipping into a dark abyss I feared would swallow me whole.

I was a mess.

One moment everything was too loud, and the next everything was too quiet. I felt like I was in a constant state of whirling emotions and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t find anything to anchor me.

Deep inside, I was fighting a losing battle I doubted I could never win, but I was still hanging on, and praying like hell I’d rise into the light instead of sinking into the darkness.

To sum it up, I was losing my damn mind, and I knew it.

And it was all because Hendrix Cole left me.

He. Left. Me!

I managed to roll on top of him and with my back to his front, I reared my head up and slammed my skull down onto his chest. I pulled the single hand that held both of my wrists captive and begged, “Please let me go.”

He didn’t. If possible, he held on tighter.

“Not until I'm sure you won't try to hurt yourself or me.”

Hurt myself? I hadn’t tried to hurt myself. Only him. And what did he care anyway? Ty had been nothing but a jerk my entire life. “Don’t worry.” Chest heaving, heart pounding, I fought for breath. “I won’t mess up your pretty boy face.”

His body stilled before he laughed. “Pretty boy? Are you kidding me?”

I clenched my teeth and clawed at the back of his hand with my nails.

The move did not affect him.

I was suffocating. “Ty,” I choked, feeling my chest beginning to burn “Please let me go.” He didn’t move. “I…” My head spun, and my lungs screamed in agony. “I can’t breathe!” I could breathe. It just didn’t feel like it. The panic, the anger, the stupid pain made it feel like my life force was being sucked right out of me.

Ty dropped his hold on me, and I rolled off him. Forcing myself to my knees, I placed my hand on my chest and inhaled through my nose.

Breathe. Just breathe.

The asshole beside me sat up and bent his legs at the knees. He placed his hand on my back. I flinched at the touch. I didn’t want him nor any other man touching me. No one touched me except Hen—

I caught myself before I allowed my mind to whisper his name for the second time in as many minutes. Still, it didn’t stop the agony that sliced through me as the past came rushing back.

The sound of his voice.

The smell of his skin.

The taste of his lips.

I tried, I swear to God I did, but I couldn’t stop the words that spilled from my lips as almost two decades worth of feelings slammed into me with the force of a freight train. “I can’t think of him, Ty!” A hiccup broke free from my chest. “I can’t think of him at all.” I choked on my words as they spewed from my mouth in a volcano of acidic tasting syllables. “It’s too hard.” My body went tensed before going limp. “The pain is too much.”

The last thing I wanted to do was break down—especially in front of Ty—but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. The fluctuating emotions and suppressed feelings were simply too much for me to bear.

Before I could blink, Ty moved. Lifting me into his arms, he pulled me onto his lap and pressed his chin to the top of my head. If I’d been of sound mind and body, I would have been thinking something along the lines of, ‘what in the hell?’ But I was too out of it to realize that a guy who I’d spent most of my life hating, was now the one holding me together when I was damn near falling apart.

Talk about irony.

Ty rocked me as I sobbed into his arms. “I’ve got you. Just take two deep breaths for me.” Clutching his forearm with my fingers, I inhaled through the tear-laden convulsions that racked my body. “Good job. Just keep breathing.”

I breathed. I counted. I focused.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Suddenly, my office door swung open, and Shelby burst inside. I couldn’t see her face, but her voice was laced with panic. “What’s going on in here?” She came closer and dropped to her knees at my side, her beautiful face coming into view. Just like before, she touched my lower back with the tips of her fingers. “What happened?”

Ty spoke up. “She got a little upset. But we’re working through it.” He squeezed me tighter, and my shoulders shook against his chest. I didn’t know who else was in the room with us, but I could tell it wasn’t just Shelby. I felt more than one pair of eyes on me. “She just needs a minute.”

Shelby shifted and looked over her shoulder at the aftermath of my temper tantrum. “Is that a busted coffee cup?”

Ty grunted. “She threw it at me.”

Stunned, Shelby repeated his words. “She threw it at you?”

“Nearly certain she was aiming for my head, too.”

Shelby waved her arms in the air. “Wait, a minute. Back up. You’re sayin’ that,” she pointed at me, “Madelyn threw a coffee cup at you?”

“Yeah. After she’d already thrown the stapler and missed.”

Shelby sucked in a breath. “You can’t be serious.”

Ty’s softly spoken “I’m very serious,” was followed by a deep, robust laugh. Evan. If it had been possible at the time, I would’ve smiled at the sound.

“I don’t believe it. I’ve never seen Madelyn raise her voice, much less get mad enough to throw somethin’!”

I felt Ty’s shrug. “What can I say? I bring out the best in people. Especially women.”

Evan laughed again. “You and me both, bro. You and me both.”

“But why is she crying?” Shelby turned to face me. “Why are you crying?” Balling her hands into fists, she continued, “Did he hurt you? Because if he did, I’ll Taser him in the nuts.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come.

“Jesus, lady. There’s no need to Taser anything, much less my fucking nuts.” He shifted his legs underneath me, closing the gap in his lap. “We grew up together and seeing me brought back bad memories. That’s all.”

Recognition dawned on Shelby’s face, and sympathy filled her eyes. Just like that, she understood. “I’m sorry, sugar.”

She didn’t dare say his name. She never would. Shelby and Hope were the only two people on the face of the planet who knew my secret.

They were the only ones who knew the loss I’d experienced.

The hell I’d been through.

The pain I’d suffered.

They were the only ones who knew it had been more than just a bad break. That I’d lost…

With tears spilling down my cheeks, I whispered, “It’s okay.” I let out a shaky breath as I held onto control by a fraying thread. “I’m okay.” Shelby’s chin wobbled in return. She was about to cry too. “Promise, I’m alright.”

“You sure?” I nodded once, and she clenched her eyes shut. For a moment, I was no longer alone in the hell I perpetually lived in. Shelby, bless her heart, was right there with me.

I reached out and touched her arm. “Swear I’m okay.”

Seconds passed before she blew out a relieved breath. “Okay.” She watched me, her eyes searching for any sign that I was going to fall apart. Not finding anything she looked away and stood. I could see her hands shaking, and I knew she was fighting back her own demons. “Do you want me to get you a bottle of water? Maybe something to eat?” She smiled down at me shakily and hooked a thumb over her shoulder. “There are a couple of Ethel’s cookies left. Want me to grab you a few?”

That’s a miracle.

I shook my head. “No.” My voice was hoarse. If I tried to eat or drink anything, I’d vomit all over Ty’s lap.

Speaking of Ty…

Leaning away from him, I pushed against his arms that were still locked tightly around me. “You can let go now. I promise I won’t throw any more office supplies at your head.”

He chuckled, low and deep. “You’ve got one hell of an arm on you. Not sure why you never played softball.”

“I don’t like getting dirty.”

“Yeah, I remember you spending every recess in the library or sitting on the bleachers watching H—”

I cut him off. “Please don’t.” Ty stopped rocking and gritted his teeth. The sound grated on my nerves, momentarily distracting me from the name he almost said. A name that would wreck me if I heard it spoken aloud. I reached up, covering my ears with my palms. “Ack! Don’t do that.”

His jaw went slack, and he smiled. Blue eyes the color of the ocean sparkled in my direction. “Sorry. It’s a habit.”

I shuddered. “It’s like nails on a chalkboard.”

Shelby, who I’d forgotten was still in the room, cleared her throat, pulling my eyes from Ty’s. “Well, since everything seems under control, I’m goin’ to drag Evan back to the kitchen with me. It seems we have a couple of cookies to polish off before Hope and the boys get the rest of ‘em.”

Glancing back at Ty one last time, I pushed myself to my knees. His hands, warm and calloused, landed on my hips. My head whipped around. “What are you doing?”

“Just making sure you don’t fall.”

Oh. “Thanks, I guess.” Placing my hands on the side of my desk for support, I pushed myself the rest of the way up. Ty dropped his hands. Once standing, I straightened my spine.

“Well, alrighty then,” Shelby looked over her shoulder at Evan before meeting my eyes again. “We’re just gonna… uh…we’re just gonna go.” Turning around she walked to the office door and tugged at the front of Evan’s shirt. “If you need anything use the radio or call me. My cells in my pocket.” She patted the back of her jean shorts with her free hand.

Plopping down in my desk chair, I replied, “I will.”

Shelby walked out of the room, tugging Evan behind her. “See you later, boss lady.”

“Bye, guys.”

Ty got up off the floor and retook his seat in the plastic chair across my desk. “You sure you’re alright?”

I rubbed the palm of my hands down my puffy cheeks. “Yeah.” I needed to apologize. “I’m sorry for throwing a hissy fit and well…”

“Don’t apologize to me, Mad—” Please don’t say it. He cleared his throat. “No apology needed, Madelyn.”

Picking up my pen from the desk, I once again started working on the O’Bannon’s intake sheet while trying my best to forget what had just happened.

Across from me, the chair squeaked beneath Ty as he shifted his weight. “Can I ask you something?”

No.

“Go ahead.”

“What in the hell did he do to you, baby doll?”

He. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who he was talking about. Dropping my pen, I leaned back in my chair. What did I tell him? I mean, as much as I hated to admit it, after throwing a stapler and a coffee mug at his head, I felt like I owed him an explanation. Something, at least.

But how much of an explanation?

Screw it. Just tell him the truth.

Parting my lips, I let the brutally honest words roll off my tongue. “He broke his promise.”

“What promise?”

“The one where he swore to love me forever.”

At that moment, my heart once again shattered into a million pieces.