Sitting on the edge of the trestle bridge, I stared up at the full moon.

It was the first time I’d been here since Maddie left for Vanderbilt. It wasn’t the same without her. It was like all the magic was missing.

I smiled, thinking back to the first time I brought her here. I’ll never forget that night as long as I live. Tasting her lips on mine, hearing her confess that she loved me.

I’d give anything to go back to that night.

Tapping my busted knuckles against my leg, I whispered to the star-filled sky. “I miss you, pretty girl. So, fucking much.”

Agony swirled in my chest. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do.

But what choice did I have? I mean, as much as I hated to say it, Pop was right. It didn’t matter if I won the fight or not, Petrov wasn’t going to take his sights off Maddie. For some reason that I didn’t understand, he seemed hell-bent on destroying Pop and, by extension, me.

No one I cared about was safe.

I thought about going to the cops for help, but this was the Russian mob we were talking about. They probably had enough badges on their payroll to bury any formal complaint I made. Not to mention I couldn’t do anything to piss off Petrov or he’d go after my girl.

Pop said he wanted her for his stables. Just the thought made me sick. The son of a bitch would have to kill me before I ever let anything like that happen. I didn’t have murder in my heart, but if I had to slit his throat to save Maddie, so be it.

I’d use a dull knife and do it with a smile on my face.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, messed with my pretty girl.

With going to the cops for help out of the question, I had no options left. I guess I could have taken Maddie and made a run for it but how far would we have gotten? Aside from what I’d seen on television, I didn’t know a lot about the Mafia. But I knew they could find us wherever we went. Or else they’d just kill everyone we loved.

Keith. Grandmama.

I couldn’t let that happen.

My only choice was to take the fight—like I’d already agreed—and win. That would take care of Pop’s debt, but it wouldn’t save Maddie.

To save her, I had to do something more drastic. More torturous.

I had to hurt her.

All the promises I’d made, all the assurances I’d given her, and all the trust we’d built were about to be thrown out the window. Eleven years’ worth of memories and enough love to last a lifetime were about to be crushed.

With just a few simple words and meaningless actions, I was going to destroy the only person that I’d ever loved.

All to save her.

Months later, after I’d won the fight and Petrov had moved on, I prayed I’d find a way to make her forgive me. To make her understand.

If I didn’t… Hell, I didn’t even want to think about it. It didn’t matter anyway. Maddie would understand. When she found out the truth, she’d forgive me. And slowly we could begin to put the pieces back together again.

At least I hoped we could.

Without Maddie, my life wasn’t worth living. I hadn’t been lying all those years ago when I told her she was my entire heart. She was. Without her, I wouldn’t exist.

Maddie was my entire goddamn life.

She was my heart. My soul. She was the very air I breathed.

My phone once again began to ring.

I instantly recognized the ring tone. Maddie. Panicked, I pulled the phone out of my back pocket. Accepting the call, I lifted the phone to my ear. “Maddie, you okay, baby?”

She giggled, and I exhaled in relief. “I’m fine, handsome. I didn’t wake you, did I? I figured you were already up since it’s a training day and all.”

I had no idea what time it was, but it must have been close to four. “Nah, pretty girl. I’ve been up.” I rubbed a hand down my face. “What are you doing awake? Shouldn’t you be asleep and having filthy dreams about me?” I joked, trying to ease the crushing feeling taking root in my chest.

She laughed before replying, “You’re such a perv.” I could practically see her rolling her eyes at me. “I woke up at a little after midnight. I tried going back to sleep but no luck.”

She woke a little after midnight, right when I got the call from Petrov. She knew I was walking into trouble. Don’t ask me how she knew, but she did. I told you our souls were connected on a different level. I know a lot of people use the term soul mate loosely, but Maddie really was mine.

“I’m sorry, baby. I hate that you didn’t sleep well, but I’m glad you called.” I looked out over the river that flowed beneath the bridge. It was so beautiful out there. For as long as I lived, this place would have a special place in my heart. Just like the pretty girl talking my ear off on the other end of the phone.

An hour passed as I listened to Maddie go on and on about any and everything. Swear to God, I could listen to her talk all day. She talked about school, about her dad, and about Grandmama. She told me about her plans for her future, for our future. She squealed in excitement as she described what our wedding would be like and what she thought our future kids would look like.

On and on she went. And I relished every second of it.

The sun had just begun to rise when she said, “I guess I should let you go. I know it’s almost time for you to be at the academy.” My heart stalled, and my stomach bottomed out. “Hendrix?” She called my name when I didn’t answer her. “Are you still there?”

Another fucking tear. “Yeah, baby, I’m here. I just love hearing you talk.” I dug the toe of my boot into the train track.

Maddie snorted. “Guess it’s a good thing that I love to talk then, huh?”

“Yeah baby, it is.”

“Well, I’m going to let you go because I know you won’t say goodbye until I do.”

If she only knew…

“Maddie.” My voice was gruff as I spoke.

“Yeah, handsome?”

I tilted my head back and looked at the morning sky. Fucking Christ this wasn’t fair! “You know how much I love you, don’t you?”

“Hendrix—” she started before I cut her off.

“Tell me, baby. You do know how much I love you, right?”

Her voice was quiet as she replied. “Yes. And I love you just the same.”

“I need you to do something for me. I need you…” I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t fucking do it. Petrov would just have to kill us all because I couldn’t… “I need you to remember that, no matter what happens, I’ll always love you. You’re my entire world, pretty girl.”

“Hendrix, what’s going on?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and dropped my gaze to the ground. “Nothing, baby. I just wanted—needed—you to know how much I love you.”

Her, “I love you too, handsome,” was so soft and sweet my heart nearly combusted.

More tears.

None of the beatings that Pop had given me over the years hurt as badly as this. “I’ve gotta go, baby, but I’ll call you tonight. Alright?”

“You better or else I’ll send Grandmama after you.” That made me smile. I could just see her coming at me with a rolling pin because Maddie was upset. Damn, she was going to hate me before this was over. “And Hendrix?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I love you, handsome. Now, forever, and always.”

My heart broke. “Love you too, pretty girl. Now, forever, and always.”

It was the last time I heard her voice before everything fell apart.