A flash of red next door caught my attention. Narrowing my eyes to see better, I spotted him right away. Grabbing the plate of warm cookies, I’d taken out of the oven an hour earlier, I scooted out the back door, and ran towards the dogwood tree that separated his backyard from mine. “Hendrix.” My voice was barely a whisper as I called out his name.

I’m surprised he even heard me.

From the fence, I watched as he stopped mid-stride and partially turned towards me. I looked him over from head to toe, but I didn’t see any injuries.

 He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Hey, Maddie. What are you doing home? I thought you were going to church with Grandmama.”

Lord have mercy, Hendrix Cole was the cutest boy I’d ever seen. 

Despite knowing what happened earlier, just seeing him made me feel giddy.

I swallowed around the lump that had formed in my throat. “I am, but I wanted to bring you something first.”

Without hesitating, Hendrix turned to face me fully. When he did, I gasped at the sight of his bruised—and was that a cut?— face.

A smile crossed his face as he moved towards me. How on earth could he smile right now? “What have you got for me, pretty girl?” His words stunned me, pulling my attention from his injured face and the nightmare that I felt myself standing in.

My cheeks heated, and I knew without a doubt I was blushing.

I loved the nickname, but it made me feel silly. I wasn’t pretty. Plain, was more like it.

Why couldn’t he see that?

Still, every time those two words left his mouth, an army of butterflies took flight in my belly.

As he came closer, those same butterflies died.

I wanted to cry. My heart hurt at the sight of his bruised and battered face.

Was it possible to feel your heart breaking?

Because I’m pretty sure I felt mine cracking.

Despite already knowing the answer, I asked, “What happened to your face?”

He shrugged like it was no big deal. “Crashed my dirt bike this morning.”

Something inside of me snapped.

I didn’t want him to lie to me, especially not when he was being hurt.

Setting the plate of cookies on top of a fence post, I closed my eyes. I couldn’t bear to look at him right now. If I did, I was certain I’d cry, and me turning into a big baby wouldn't help the situation. “Hendrix,” I whispered, reaching out and grabbing his hand. “I know you didn’t crash your dirt bike.” Silence. Complete silence.  I took a breath. “I…” Crap. How was I supposed to say this? “I came over when your pop got home. I was going to help him…”

I stopped speaking when Hendrix jerked his hand away from mine. Opening my eyes, I saw him take a step back.

No, please don’t run from me!

“I heard… I heard what h-he did to you,” I stuttered. The anger. The hurt. It all made it so hard to speak. “Why didn’t you tell m-me?”

Lips thinned into a hard line, Hendrix crossed his arms over his chest and glared at me. “What was I supposed to say, Maddie?”

His voice rang of anger. I gulped. He’d never been angry towards me before. It didn’t scare me but it… I don’t know how to describe it. I just know I didn’t like it.

“That my Pop is a drunk who beats me up whenever he feels like it?” His voice rose, and my eyes widened. “Or that he’s a hateful bastard who blames me for his wife leaving him?” He leaned forward, his face tensed. “What exactly was I supposed to tell you, huh?”

I shook my head. I didn’t know what to say. “I could have helped you.”

“Yeah, and how would you have done that?”

I dug my nails into my palms. “I could have told Daddy or Grandmama. They would have—”

He cut me off. “You can’t, Maddie. If you tell them, they’ll call the police. Then the police will call Child Protective Services. Know what will happen then?” I shook my head. I had no idea. I didn’t even know what Child Protective Services was. “CPS would take me away. Away from Pop. Away from here. Away from you.”

My heart stopped. Promise you, it stopped.

Would they take Hendrix away from me? They wouldn’t!

Would they?

Hendrix must have seen the confusion flashing in my eyes because he said, “They will, pretty girl. They’d come and take me right out of my own house. Shove me into the first foster or group home they could find, and I’d never be able to come back. At least, not until after I turn eighteen.”

No. That couldn’t…they just couldn’t do that.

It was selfish, but I couldn’t lose Hendrix. He wasn’t just my best friend.

He was my only friend.

Not to mention I also knew he was supposed to be more. Maybe not now, but later he would be.

I felt it in my heart.

I felt it in my soul.

I felt it bone deep.

Hendrix Cole would one day be mine. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” I cried, losing the battle to keep my tears at bay. The tears streamed down my cheeks in hot, angry rivers. “I don’t know what I’d do…”

In one swift movement, Hendrix cleared the waist-high fence, jumping right over the top of it. Landing on his feet with a thud, he quickly turned towards me. Putting his hands on my waist, he turned me until I was facing him head-on. Then he placed his hand under my chin and lifted my face to meet his. “Doesn’t matter. You don’t even need to think about it, Maddie. I’m not going anywhere. Not now. Not ever.”

My chin trembled. I didn’t want him to go, but I didn’t want him to be stuck in that house anymore either. Not with a drunken monster who liked to use him as a punching bag. “I don’t want him h-hurting you.”

Hendrix smiled. He looked much calmer than I felt. “He won’t. Not for much longer anyway. In the next year or two, I’ll be big enough to fight back.” He clenched his hands into fists at his sides. “I’ve got a feeling that it will only take one hard punch from me and he’ll leave me alone for good.”

I sniffled. “You think so?”

Hendrix nodded. “I do, pretty girl. No reason for you to worry.”

But worry, I would. How could I not? If something happened to him…

Leaning forward, I laid my forehead on Hendrix’s chest. “I don’t like it.”

He touched my arm, running his fingertips over my sensitive elbow. “Me neither. But there’s nothing anybody can do. I either deal with him until I’m strong enough to fight back or I ask for help and lose you.” His lips brushed the top of my hair as he placed a gentle kiss on the crown of my head. “And I ain’t losing you, pretty girl.” He wrapped his free arm around my back and tugged me closer to him. “So, you can’t tell anybody about this. Got it?”

I ain’t losing you, pretty girl. Those words did funny things to my belly.

I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”

Selfish. Selfish. Selfish!

Hendrix pulled back, dropping both of his arms, disappointing the crap out of me.

“What did you bring me?” he asked, grabbing the forgotten plate from the top of the fence post where I’d placed it.

I smiled. “Take off the foil and see.” I paused, transfixed by the way his hands moved. “I was looking through some of Grandmama’s cookbooks, saw the recipe for those, and thought of you.” I watched nervously as Hendrix removed the foil I’d used to cover the plate.

His turn to smile. “Chocolate chip cookies?”

I nodded. “I know how much you love them. I thought homemade ones would be better than store-bought ones. At least, I hope they are.”

He picked one up and didn’t hesitate in taking a giant bite that only a teenage boy was capable of. He groaned, closing his eyes. I stared; pretty sure I was drooling watching his jaw and throat work together to devour the treat. Done chewing, he swallowed. “Jesus Christ, Maddie, these are the best things I’ve ever eaten.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yeah, really.” He took another bite. “Have you tasted one yet?”

I shook my head. “No. I wanted you to try them first.”

Turning the cookie so the part he’d bitten was facing me, Hendrix offered me a bite. “Here,” he said, pushing the cookie towards me, “taste it.”

Eyes locked on his, I bit the cookie. A small, barely a nibble, bite.

Hendrix’s eyes blazed, and I swear to you the world stopped spinning. My mouth was touching something that Hendrix’s mouth had touched. To my thirteen-year-old self that meant we were practically kissing.

I chewed, not tasting a thing. I could have been eating sand for all I knew.

By some miracle, I swallowed without choking. Dropping my hands, I used the hem of my dress to wipe the non-existent cookie crumbs from my fingers. Classy, I know. If my Grandmama had seen me do such a thing she would have thrown a full-fledged hissy fit and lectured me until the next full moon on the importance of ladylike manners.

Hendrix spoke. “Maddie,” he said, bringing my attention back to him. “Look at me.” I did as he said, unable to ignore his command.

Not that I wanted to.

For some reason I didn’t yet understand, his eyes looked different. Normally, they were a smoky brown color with specks of gold splattered throughout the irises, but now they seemed darker. Almost black. If possible, they were even more beautiful now than before.

I stared, completely hypnotized.

Hendrix leaned closer, and his breath dusted over my nose. I inhaled sharply at the sensation. Lifting his right hand, he placed his index finger on the corner of my lips. “You’ve got some chocolate,” he said, “right here.”

His eyes never left mine as he swiped his finger across my bottom lip.

My lungs froze, and my heart stilled.

I couldn’t breathe.

Could. Not. Breathe!

“And here.” He swiped the same finger across my top lip. Involuntarily, my lips parted. The sensation was almost too much to bear. Never in my short life had I ever experienced anything like this.

And, surprisingly, I didn’t want it to stop. Ever.

I almost cried out in frustration when Hendrix dropped his hand. But before I could, he stepped closer, bringing his chest mere inches from mine. I felt my eyes bulge in my head as he placed his hands on my waist for the second time that day. “Maddie…”

I tried to speak but couldn’t. My lips wouldn’t move, tongue wouldn’t work, and that softball lodged in the middle of my throat? It doubled in size.

Hendrix lowered his face. So. Close. Then, in a low voice that I’d never heard from him before, but loved, he said, “I really want to kiss you.”

Cue my heart attack.

I was sure I was dying. Or was already dead.

“Can I kiss you, pretty girl?”

Dead. Dead. Dead.

I was dead.

And obviously, this was heaven.

That or I was dreaming.

Dear Lord, please don’t let this be a dream.

Feeling my entire body shake, I nodded my head once, and Hendrix squeezed my sides where his hands rested. “Don’t move,” he said as he lowered his head.

Lightly, he pressed his lips to mine.

Head tilted to the right, and with a firm hold, he gave me my first kiss.

Hendrix Cole. My next-door neighbor. My best friend. And the cutest boy I’d ever seen.

He. Was. Kissing. Me!

The jack hammering of my heart let me know that, I wasn’t dead. Just like the pinching pain that came from the way Hendrix gripped my sides let me know I wasn’t dreaming either.

This was real. Every bit of it.

My head spun.

The world could have been ending around us, and I wouldn’t have known. Not with his lips pressed to mine and his hands on my body.

So, this is what it feels like to be kissed. No wonder the other girls at school do it so much.

But as quickly as it had begun, it ended.

Hendrix pulled his lips from mine and took a step back. But he didn’t remove his hands.

Out of breath, I looked up at him. My life had just been divided into two parts—before this kiss and after this kiss. As far as I was concerned, nothing before mattered.

Because of this… This was everything.

“That right there is worth any beating Pop will ever give me,” he said, tugging at the cotton material of my dress beneath his palms.

 That wasn’t funny. Not at all.

I opened my mouth to tell him as much when I heard an all too familiar voice holler from the direction of my house.

Uh oh.

“Madelyn Grace Davis!” Grandmama shouted from the driveway. “Get away from that boy right this minute!”

I gasped, and Hendrix chuckled.

Wait. Why was he chuckling? Did he not know how crazy my Grandmama was? Surely, he did. I mean he’d lived next to us for the past six years.

Stepping back, I turned to face the woman who I hoped beyond hope hadn’t seen Hendrix kiss me. Judging by the look on her face, I knew I’d been caught.

Oh, good Lord, kill me now!

“Over. Here. Now,” she demanded through tight lips. “Or else I’m going to shoot the boy.”

“Grandmama,” I said, stepping away from Hendrix. “You can’t shoot him.”

Putting her hands on her hips, she looked at me like I was the crazy one in this equation. “Like hell I can’t.”

Right as I was about to argue with her, I heard my Daddy’s booming voice. “In the house, Maddie. Now.” 

Oh, God. It just kept getting worse!

Looking up, I saw Daddy standing on the front porch, his hands shoved into his pockets. He still wore the dark navy pants and grey T-shirt which was the standard uniform for Kissler County Fire Department. Obviously, he hadn’t been home long. Nodding his head towards the front door of my house, he repeated, “House. Now,” through gritted teeth.

Looking back at Hendrix, I offered him a shaky smile. Despite Grandmama’s threats, I knew she wouldn’t actually shoot him.

Threaten him? Yes.

Physically harm him? No.

Still, I didn’t want to leave him. Just the thought of walking away made my stomach churn with acid.

“I guess I’ll see you later.”

Hendrix nodded. “Count on it, pretty girl.”

I walked across the grass-covered lawn. Passing Grandmama, I whispered, “Leave him alone. It was my fault too.”

She replied, “Mm-hmm. We’ll see. Your father swears that boy ain’t nothing but trouble. Seems he may have been right.”

Baloney!

I rolled my eyes and received a death glare in return.

Once at the porch, I hopped up the steps and looked at Daddy. “Don’t scare him away. He’s my best friend.” 

Daddy glared at me. “Your friends always kiss you on the lips?”

“Seeing as he’s the only friend I’ve got, I’m going to say yes.”

Daddy narrowed his eyes, and I smiled. Score one for me.

“Seriously, Daddy, be nice.”

He shook his head, his jaw tight. “Go get ready for church. God knows your Grandmama will probably form a prayer circle around you to cast out the demon that’s obviously decided to possess you.”

I snorted. Daddy wasn’t so amused.

“Yes, sir,” I said in a sugary sweet voice as I headed in the front door and up the stairs to my room.

Once inside my bedroom, I peeked out the window to make sure Grandmama wasn’t beating Hendrix to death with a rolling pin or running him over with her car. 

She wasn’t.

Hendrix had disappeared, and Grandmama stood beside her Cadillac in the driveway, staring up at my bedroom window, a look on her face I couldn’t read.

I didn’t understand. Why was she looking at me like that?

After waving at her and receiving nothing in return, I made my way towards my closet. But then my cell phone chirped from the nightstand. Changing course, I turned and picked it up.

I smiled at the words flashing across the screen.

Hendrix: Wait 4 me N the morning. Walking U 2 school.

Holding the phone in my shaking palm, I replied. 

K. C ya 2morrow.

I would see him tomorrow.

And every day that followed for the next five years.