Chapter 30

Alissa

 

 

The party had gone off without a hitch, and at least three of the six kids were passed out in their parent’s arms by the time the party was over. I had an amazing time, being with my family, being part of Ryan’s family, and showing Kayla a day where she could just be that eight-year-old little girl and not have to stress or worry over anything else. She deserved every moment of that party plus more, and I was really banking on the idea that I would be around long enough to give her those things. She and Ryan were quickly becoming my life.

I threw the last of the paper plates in the trash and wrapped up the leftover food, waiting for it to get dark enough to watch the fireworks. My mom and stepdad, Bella, and all the other people had already taken off to do their own thing for the Fourth. It was just me, Kayla, and Ryan left, and I could tell Kayla was fighting sleep hardcore so that she didn’t miss the fireworks. Fireworks used to be my favorite thing about the Fourth of July, but after the amazing time I had during the cookout, I had to say that I was starting to think that Ryan and Kayla were becoming my favorite part of every day. Just knowing I was going to get to sit on a blanket and watch the fireworks with people I loved so very much, Kayla already calling dibs on my lap, made me more than happy. It was really turning out to be one of the best days yet.

“It’s pretty awesome, isn’t it?” Ryan walked up behind me and put his arms around my waist.

“What is? My list is growing bigger and bigger by the minute.” I leaned back and kissed his lips.

“The fact that we live right next door to the community park where they shoot off the city’s firework display,” he said. “We literally are going to be able to lay down on blankets with no crowds, no traffic, and no crazy drunk people, and watch the fireworks from the sanctuary of our backyard.”

“You mean your backyard.” I giggled.

“Right,” he said. “You can claim it as yours if you want. It isn’t much of a home without you these days. You bring the light into our lives.”

“Aww,” I cooed, turning and kissing him gently. “You guys do the same for me.”

We picked up the empty chip bowls and walked inside, shutting the bugs out of the house for a little bit and taking advantage of the nice, cold air conditioner. The sun was just starting to go down, and it wasn’t quite time for the show. We would make sure that as soon as it got dark and the crickets started chirping, that we laid down together on the blanket and enjoyed every second of the sparkling light show. Until then, I would make sure the dishwasher got filled and turned on and then sit down and drink a beer, the first one I was able to get to all day. I smiled over at Kayla, who was laying in the living room where she spent most of her time these days. She played with her baseball doll. She really was impressed with the thing, and I was really glad that I got her something that she would actually be able to play with and use to make herself feel better.

I walked over and kissed Ryan on the cheek, smiling at him as he turned toward me. Before he could lean in again, the sound of a loud knock came from the front door. We both looked over at the front door and sighed.

“I’ll get it,” I said, laughing. “It’s probably my sister. She left her plate of leftovers here, and the poor thing doesn’t have her husband there to cook for her. The girl could burn water if you gave her the chance.”

“We can cut her some slack since she’s pregnant,” he said, laughing and calling after me as I approached the door.

I reached for the handle and flung it open, not even thinking that I would ever be faced with the person I was standing in front of. At first, I couldn’t see her, as she was holding a giant present in her arms, blocking half of her body. I had only met Christina once, but I remembered her vividly from all of the pictures I’d ended up taking down of her. She looked around the bear, and her smile faded as she stared up at me, holding a towel in my hands and wiping the remnants of birthday cake from my clothes. I froze for a moment, not knowing what to do. I glanced over at Kayla who was getting off the couch and walking toward us. Ryan came around the corner and stopped in his tracks as well, his face slowly moving into an angry expression. We really thought that Christina was going to bail, but there she stood, in all her glory.

I stepped to the side, and Christina walked straight in, smiling big as Kayla stopped in her tracks, squealed at the top of her lungs, and went running straight toward her mother. I felt an unfamiliar twinge of jealousy as Christina enjoyed the luxury of her daughter’s love that she did not deserve at all. I looked over at Ryan, who still looked shocked as hell, and was slowly walking toward Christina as if he wasn’t sure what to do with her. I watched as Christina handed Kayla a gigantic teddy bear, which was even bigger than she was. Kayla hugged the bear and then turned to her mother, hugging her tightly around the neck.

“You came,” she said excitedly.

“Of course, baby girl,” Christina said. “I couldn’t miss your big eight! How was your party?”

“It was so amazing,” she said, smiling. “You missed grandma and grandpa, Aunt Bella, who is pregnant, and Mr. Juan and Miss Maria. They were all here to celebrate with me and my friends.”

“That’s so great,” she said, glancing up at Ryan as he stood there trying to control his facial expressions.

I could feel the tension in the air, and immediately, I was uncomfortable. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, so I just stood there, completely frozen in my place. I didn’t want to cause a problem, but it was really hard to be around this woman in the flesh and not let her have a piece of my mind. She was such a terrible human being, and I hated that she had Kayla’s unyielding affection, no matter what she did to hurt her.

“Kayla,” Ryan said, kneeling down to her level. “Why don’t you go put your new stuffed animal upstairs and grab a blanket since the fireworks are going to start soon?”

“Look how big it is, Daddy,” she said, barely able to carry it.

“I know, that is so cool, sweetie,” he said, smiling. “Go on. We will be here when you come back down.”

“Don’t leave,” she said to her mother, breaking my heart. “There are fireworks soon.”

“I’ll be right here, little pumpkin.” She smiled.

The three of us stood there, spread across the living room, watching her walk up the stairs. When she had reached the top, and her footsteps could be heard dragging her new toy into her room, Ryan turned back to Christina. I could tell he was angry by the way he was clenching his fists at his side. This wasn’t going to be good, but they were blocking my way to my purse and keys. Besides, it was probably good that I stood there and supported Ryan.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I got your invitation,” she said, smiling. “So, I came to the party.”

“The party that ended an hour and a half ago?” he asked angrily. “This is now my private time with my daughter. You can’t just show up whenever you want to. You don’t live here anymore. This is not your home to just traipse back and forth through. Kayla has a schedule that is good for her, and you can’t just assume that because you gave birth to her that you can just mess it up.”

“Ryan,” she said calmly.

“No, you listen to me,” he said. “I am not going to kick you out right now, only because it is Kayla’s birthday, and I don’t want her to end it on a note like that. You have disappointed her enough over the last year and a half. But let me make it very clear that you are not going to just do this again.”

“Wait,” she said as Ryan turned his back to walk toward the kitchen. “I was wrong.”

“You’re damn right you were wrong,” he said, turning back around. “I’m tired of you intruding on our life anytime you want to.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I mean yes, but that’s not what I meant.”

“What are you talking about?” Ryan glanced over at me, and I looked around uncomfortably.

“I was wrong to up and leave you and Kayla,” she said. “I know that now. I had to go through something huge in my life to realize how bad I royally fucked things up.”

“Where the hell is this coming from?” he asked, shaking his head. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“Ryan, I want you back,” she said. “I made the hugest mistake of my life letting you go, and I don’t want to live another day without you. I want us to be a family again, like we were before, only better. I want to do things like barbecues, family gatherings, and block parties with you. I want to hold your hand every day and go to bed with you every night. I—”

“Stop,” he said, rubbing his face and putting his hands in the air. “Where is this coming from? I don’t understand what is going on here.”

That was it. I couldn’t listen to another second of this. I was losing my boyfriend to his ex-wife right in front of my eyes. I wanted to lash out at her, tell her how shitty of a human being she was, but I would never want Kayla to witness something like that. So, instead of saying anything, I jogged past both of them and grabbed my purse and keys, looking around to make sure I had gotten everything. I grabbed a bottle of wine from the counter and turned, walking past them and straight for the front door. I could feel Christina glaring suspiciously at me, but I kept my eyes on the floor, knowing if I looked back at her, I would never be able to control myself. This was too much, even for me.

“Alissa,” Ryan said, running over and grabbing my arm. “Wait, don’t go.”

“I have to,” I said, shaking my head, trying to hold back the tears. “This is too much.”

“Alissa, I—”

“No,” I said, putting up my hand and softening my voice. “Take care of this, in whatever way best fits you and Kayla. When it’s all over, call me, and we can talk about it all.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said with a sigh.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I said. “Tell Kayla happy birthday for me again, and apologize to her that I had to leave.”

“Of course,” he said with a kind smile. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Yeah,” I said, turning before he could even think of trying to kiss me goodbye.

I could feel him standing at the front door, watching me walk to my car. I couldn’t even turn around and wave. The emotions welling up inside me were just too much. I managed to get into my car and away from the house before completely losing it, my mind too tired to comprehend what just happened. Everything had fallen apart in two seconds flat.