Chapter 4

Alissa

 

 

Taking care of a kid was a bit of a challenge for me. I had always been excellent with children, but for some reason, it was hard with Kayla. In reality, even though I thought of her as family, she really didn’t know me at all, and it was probably difficult for her to see how we were now connected. I looked down at the mac and cheese I was cooking her and stirred, hoping this was a good enough dinner for her. Ryan would be home soon, and he could feed her whatever after that. I tried talking to Kayla, maybe forming some kind of bond, but she had barely spoken to me since I started watching her, nearly a week ago now.

When she got home from school, she finished her homework, and I played a couple of games with her, but her attention span was short-lived, and she looked bored as hell. She mostly stayed in her room, listening to music and reading her books. She had a pretty impressive collection of books and was very advanced in her reading level for someone her age. I was pretty sure at seven, I was still reading, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, but not Kayla. She was reading full-on chapter books. I was never much of a reader, so I tried to find common ground elsewhere. She did offer up a tidbit of information, telling me she really liked baseball, but I barely knew anything about it, so it was difficult for me to hold a good conversation with her about it.

I drained the pasta into the colander and finished up preparing it just as Kayla bounced down the stairs and around the corner. She seemed disappointed when she walked in the kitchen, but I tried not to take it personally, assuming she was just hoping to see her father. I pulled down a bowl, poured some of the mac and cheese into it for her, and watched as she pulled herself up to the breakfast bar.

“Do you eat up here a lot or usually at the table for dinner?”

“Lately, here,” she said, pausing. “When my mom was here, we always ate at the table, but dad doesn’t want to anymore.”

I shook my head, feeling bad for asking the question. It was really hard to know what to ask, especially since everything in Kayla’s life, before her mother left, was centered around Christina. I knew it was hard for Ryan, but I couldn’t even imagine how hard it was for Kayla. She had to change everything about her life, and she no longer had that strong figure to fall back on. I could remember how much of a role my mother played as I was growing up, especially as a young girl. She was my comfort zone, my rock, and I could talk to her about anything. I couldn’t even begin to understand what it would feel like if one day, I had just lost her and had to figure out how to navigate this big world without her.

I tried to figure out things to talk about, making sure that my tone was cheerful and kind, especially since I could almost feel the pain radiating off of her. I knew my presence there was probably difficult, especially since I had to at least take care of the technical things that her mother used to do. I was just really hoping that as her new aunt, I would be able to be a strong woman in her life. I guessed it would take a bit of time. I leaned up against the counter and could feel my heart breaking as she sat there, sullenly eating her noodles. I wanted to hug her and tell her everything was going to be all right, but I was still a stranger to her, and it was obvious that she was having some serious trust issues with everyone in her life at that time, even her father.

“What have you been working on in school?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “This stupid future jobs project.”

“That sounds interesting.” I smiled. “What’s it about?”

“You have to pick what you want to be when you grow up and make a collage with pictures and descriptions from the magazines that the teacher brought in,” she explained quietly.

“What did you pick?”

“I haven’t yet,” she said. “I don’t know what I want to be. All the other girls in the class picked stupid jobs like ballerina or teacher, but that doesn’t interest me. Tommy, a boy in my class, he said that I had to pick a girlie job because I was a girl, but I don’t want to be a teacher or a nurse.”

“I think Tommy has a very bad grasp on reality.” I laughed. “There aren’t ‘girlie’ jobs when you get out in the real world. You can be anything you want. You don’t have even one little interest that you can think of?”

“No,” she said, offering nothing more than that.

“I’m an interior designer,” I said, noticing Kayla trying to feign disinterest, but having a hard time hiding the enthusiasm in her eyes. I took that as a good sign and continued. “Basically, I went to school for four years, college that is, and I worked for another company for about two years. Then I started my own company. I get hired by clients who want me to either decorate their home, or part of their home, from scratch or redecorate it completely.”

“What kind of clients do you get the most?”

“Um, I think it’s split,” I said, keeping my excitement about her interest hidden. “The majority of my work comes from people either wanting me to design them a nursery for their new baby, or redecorate a bedroom or living room. Then I get one or two clients every few months like the woman I am working with now, who want me to decorate their entire new home. Those clients take a lot of work, so coupled with the one-room clients, I can only take one or two a month.”

“Do you get to decorate however you want?” Kayla asked.

“Sometimes,” I said. “But within limits. Usually the client has some sort of idea of what they are looking for, and it is my job to decorate the room as close to what they are looking for as possible and have it flow and be within their budget. It’s a balancing act.”

“But what if it is terrible?” she asked, slightly smiling. “Like what if they want a clown room or room with kitten pictures everywhere?”

“Then, I first try to steer them into something subtler by creating a workup on my computer of what they describe, versus what would actually look good,” I said. “Then, if they still want the terrible one, I do what I can with it. I have to say, though, I don’t get very many crazy clown cat rooms.”

Kayla looked like she was about to burst out laughing, but at the sound of the door opening, she put her head back down and started shoveling macaroni into her mouth. Ryan walked into the kitchen from the garage, looking worse for wear. His body was covered in dust, and he looked so sweaty you could barely see a dry spot on his shirt. He nodded his head and smiled as he walked over to Kayla and kissed her on the cheek. She grimaced, probably from the smell, and picked up her bowl, walking from the kitchen. He laughed and shrugged his shoulders as he walked into the adjoining laundry room.

“How was today?” he asked.

“Good,” I said, looking over as he lifted his shirt over his head.

I blushed slightly as he pulled his t-shirt off, revealing his large, glistening, sweat-soaked muscles. His undershirt clung tightly to him, and the front was lifted up, showing his thick abs. He was extremely sexy like that, even more so than his normal, very put together appearance. I hadn’t seen him after a long day at work before, only having been around him at family gatherings and the wedding where he was wearing a suit or something casual like a polo and dress slacks. Every other day he had been relatively put together when he came home from work. Although I could tell then that he was definitely built, I didn’t realize how chiseled he was until that moment. I could feel the heat in my chest building as he pulled off his undershirt and pulled on a clean t-shirt. I turned away, trying not to be caught with my mouth gaping open.

“We were actually just talking about future jobs,” I continued. “I think she might be interested in interior design. Maybe you could get her a beginner program for her laptop that would let her do some simple design stuff, or a book or two about interior design.”

“Huh,” he said, nodding. “I had no idea she was interested in that kind of thing. I’ll definitely look into it. If you have any ideas, send me an email.”

“I can do that,” I said, taking a deep breath and shoving my hands in my pockets as he walked out of the laundry room.

I smiled and stepped to the side so he could get into the fridge and grab a water. I watched as his tired muscles flexed and bulged with every one of his movements. I was shocked at how strong my reaction was to him. I had always thought he was handsome, but I didn’t realize I would be falling all over myself for him. He was definitely getting my attention, though, and I was pretty sure that wasn’t a good thing. He gulped down a water and flashed me a charming smile.

“Work was crazy,” he said, laughing. “I get so lazy during the offseason, not having to go out with the crews that it kicks my butt in the spring and summer.”

“I bet,” I said, looking around, trying to keep from staring. “So, I made Kayla mac and cheese because I didn’t know when you would be home. She only had a small bowl, so if you want to cook something, I’m sure she will eat more.”

“All right, cool. I’ll ask her what she wants.” He stepped closer, making me nervous. “Thank you, again for everything that you are doing. It has really been a lifesaver. Work is really busy this time of year. It always has been, and it’s the bread and butter of my company.”

“It’s really no problem, I like Kayla a lot,” I said, easing my shoulders a bit. “She’s a bright young lady, and I really hope that eventually she accepts me more in her life. She is hurting, and I want you to know that I am here to help in any way I can. I can’t imagine what the both of you are going through.”

“That means a lot,” he said. “I actually had someone remind me how important family is today, blood-related or not. I’m doing okay. I am pretty much at the point where it doesn’t hurt anymore, and I’m ready to move forward. The hard part is figuring out how to change our lives to be more normal and have Kayla open up and start moving forward as well. I know she will never actually get over it, but she can at least maybe start to accept it and pull herself out of this funk. We are all here for her, but she is the only one that can do it.”

“Well, I think that time will help,” I said, taking in a deep breath. “But I’m going to hit the road. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“All right, be safe driving,” he said, watching me as I left.

I couldn’t believe the things that ran through my head while I was standing in that kitchen. As I made my way to the car, I felt completely out of sorts, unsure of what was ahead. I had some seriously off-kilter feelings about my stepbrother, and it was starting to get intense.