Chapter 12
“Please, just let it go and let’s try to make it through one play date without offending someone,” Sage begged under his breath as he parked the stroller next to the others then took Robin away from Jeremy. He was seething because the twins noses were still running and Sage was worried he’d storm out with Robin.
“They shouldn’t be here! I don’t believe for a minute it’s allergies,” he hissed and Sage gave him a pleading look.
“The fruit salad always looks good here, why don’t you go get one?” He suggested and Jeremy snorted.
“There is nothing on earth that would compel me to eat that trash, and I’ve been homeless, Sage,” he declared and one of the mothers scowled at him as she prodded her salad.
“Please keep it down.” Sage juggled the baby as he reached and pulled off each of his shoes then dropped them next to the others along the wall.
“Why? We’re in a bagel shop, not a library or a gallery. Has anyone ever considered a library or a gallery?” Jeremy asked loudly as he looked around the room then sighed at almost a dozen infants and toddlers rolling, scooting and crawling over the padded floor in the small play area. “From the looks of most of your children, I’d say it couldn’t hurt but I sincerely doubt it will help,” he drawled and Sage’s eyes went to the ceiling as he prayed and begged.
“Go sit over there,” he said as he used his elbow to point at the only empty stretch of bench. “There’s some seats over by Karen and Courtney.”
“Fuck my life, fucking Karen and Courtney,” Jeremy exclaimed under his breath then grunted as Sage elbowed him in the back.
“Be nice,” he said as firmly as he possibly could. He had a terrible feeling as he watched Jeremy receive several hostile stares and wary glances as he made his way around the play area. This was probably the last time they’d be attending. Sage carefully made his way to an open spot on the padded floor, close to Jeremy and settled Robin on the mat then carefully backed away when he looked steady and comfortable. He smiled at Karen and Courtney as he sat between them and Jeremy, as a buffer. “Hey,” he said as he offered them a weak wave and they both waved back then exchanged loaded looks. “I see Kelsie’s walking,” he said as he pointed at a pair of precious red pigtails and Karen offered the barest hint of a smile. She really was a miserable person.
“She started two days ago. We’re moving up to Rompers and Stompers next week,” she bragged then flipped her hair over her shoulder and tilted her chin back smugly. Jeremy rolled his eyes.
“Well done, Kelsie. We never imagined you’d walk,” he muttered. “You still got your foot stuck in that bucket, you little wonder, you,” he added sarcastically. Karen looked like she was ready to spit when Jeremy threw his hands up then pointed at Robin. Another little boy tumbled into him and toppled Robin onto his side. “I’m warning you, Steve!” Jeremy said as he pointed at the opposite side of the yard at the tumbling infant’s father. Steve looked stunned. “We’re going to have a talk if your crawling cinderblock of a son knocks my child over again,” he announced and Sage kicked his foot.
“You promised you wouldn’t threaten anyone,” he whispered angrily and Jeremy shook his head.
“I promised I wouldn’t threaten anyone as long as those slimy little savages respected Robin’s personal space. He doesn’t want them touching him,” he said and Karen slid Sage a disgusted scowl.
“Enough is enough,” she said as she took out her phone. “I’m filing a complaint and I’m pretty sure I could get everyone to sign something saying they don’t want you here,” she added and Jeremy was incredulous as he stood.
“A complaint!” He laughed.
“So much for being nice,” Sage mumbled as he stood. “Let’s just get Robin and go,” he said as he gestured for Jeremy to wait by the door but it was too late.
“Maybe I’ll file a complaint too, Karen,” Jeremy said. “I saw you change little Kelsie’s diaper in the back of your filthy van and leave it in the parking lot like some sort of twisted primate. You kicked it under your van then left, you terrorist. And let me tell you, Karen, I know a thing or two about terrorists. You’re disgusting!” He declared then waved at her as he looked around. “You know what? You all deserve each other. You deserve Karen, you barbarians.” He pointed at her and Courtney and Sage jumped over the barrier and scooped up Robin and ran for his shoes. It was about to get very bad. “Karen and Courtney are going to talk about every one of you and your grubby, common children while they’re getting drunk at 10:30 in the morning and putting their hands in each other’s yoga pants. And look at them!” He scolded as he gestured at the kids staring up at him in amusement and awe. “They’re filthy and covered in snot and cream cheese. Fix your children!”
“Ok. We’re leaving,” Sage said as he pushed against Jeremy’s chest. Robin reached for Jeremy and Sage pushed him into his arms. Maybe he’d calm down if he was holding Robin. Or throw him at someone. He’s really pissed.
“I didn’t want to come to this debacle! This is a bagel shop, Sage! It’s about as pathetic and pedestrian as a thing could get,” Jeremy cried as he flailed then pointed at Steve. “Any time you’re ready, you know where to find me,” he said. “Why would we want our son socializing with these… For the love of God! Diesel Cruz is eating a flip flop. I was looking forward to his professional wrestling career but I don’t think he’s going to make it to adulthood.” Jeremy looked at Diesel’s mother and shook his head. “What were you thinking? Diesel Cruz? Shame on you, Stacy.”
“I think they’re calling the police,” Sage said as he hunted in the diaper bag for the keys and Jeremy snorted then looked back over his shoulder.
“I hope they take Karen for littering and being a danger to society!” He shouted and Sage pulled him through the door as she held up her middle finger at them.
“New plan: instead of talking to the other parents and trying to fit in, just don’t talk to anyone ever again,” Sage said as he guided the stroller through the parking lot.
“That is an excellent plan,” Jeremy said to Robin as he sniffed his hair and Sage wasn’t irritated anymore. He loved when Jeremy couldn’t resist smelling the baby’s hair or rubbing his lips against his cheeks.
“They are a pretty terrible collection of human beings,” Sage said as he opened the trunk then folded the stroller. Jeremy hummed as he kissed Sage’s cheek then went to the back door to buckle the baby into his car seat. “I don’t think they really care about what their kids are doing in there. They just show up for the drama and the gossip,” Sage added.
“And it’s all so small. Can you imagine being that concerned about who had a haircut first or which mom Kyle’s hitting on this week?” Jeremy asked as Sage tossed the car keys at him. He opened the driver’s door and Sage laughed as he sat in the passenger’s seat.
“You’re going to miss watching Kyle,” he said and Jeremy grinned.
“Ah, Kyle, you messy whore…” He chuckled as he reversed out of the parking spot. “He was my favorite. I think he’s going to be the wrecking ball that brings that group down. I’ll have Reginald keep me posted.”