Chapter 25

“I have no idea what most of that means but I’ll take your word for it,” Lavender said then gripped Reginald’s arm. It was warm and human and Paul didn’t know what to make of him anymore. He was still unsettling and irritated the fuck out of him but Paul instinctively trusted him and he believed he could pull them out of this. “You’ve done enough for tonight. Get some sleep,” Lavender ordered and Reginald hesitated before he nodded then shut his laptop. Paul couldn’t get his mind around the fact that Lavender was the monster under the boogeyman’s bed. His was the name people were too scared to speak and he was never anything more than a name someone heard whispered. Paul shook his head to clear it. He was tired and drunk enough to make his brain sluggish and his eyes heavy. He went with Aiden and Lane to pack whatever they’d need for a few days and Reginald would barely look at him after they got back. Paul tried to get a moment alone with him but he kept saying he needed to finish one more thing.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay up with you? I might find the Red Death again,” Reginald offered and Lavender shook his head.

“I need you focused and ready when they move. You’re tired and you need to rest. Take Paul with you. He’s had a lot to drink and I don’t want him stumbling into the wrong room and setting something off,” he said and Reginald snorted. Most of the house was fitted with sensors and Lavender spent the evening setting traps and explosives around the exterior of the house. Paul shook his head. He was drunk but not that drunk. He still had enough self-preservation to resist opening mystery doors in the middle of the night.

“He might wander into the wrong room and get shot,” Reginald muttered under his breath as he tucked his computer under his arm and Paul frowned as he followed him. He had a feeling Reginald was talking about something else. They were sleeping in the downstairs bedroom and Reginald’s eyes darted around the short hallway evasively and he slid past Paul as he held the door open for him.

“What happened?” Paul asked and Reginald shook his head as he walked onto the bed then dropped onto it crosslegged. He’d changed into black cotton joggers and a sleeveless t-shirt while Paul was with Aiden and Lane. Paul was disappointed to see that he intended to keep them on. “Something happened while I was gone,” he insisted as he set his knee on the bed then crawled toward him and tried to find his eyes. Reginald’s lips pulled tight as he opened his laptop. He waited a second for the screen to wake up then began typing. He was quiet and still and it was freaking the hell out of Paul.

“Please talk to me,” he said as he pushed the screen shut and slid the laptop away. Reginald pulled his knees to his chest as he looked out the window.

“I know that the two proudest moments of your mother’s life were when she became an American citizen and the day you were accepted into the FBI Academy. I know that because I read the speech you gave when you graduated. I know you have to be cremated because you believe you’ll feel the bugs crawling on your corpse from hell and I know you believe you’re going to hell because you took a girl’s virginity. I know that because I read your therapist’s notes,” he said and Paul made himself count backwards from ten then pointed.

“You’re not allowed to do that anymore. You have to ask if you want to know something. I can’t do that to you and I wouldn’t, if I could,” he said and Reginald pulled in a deep breath then nodded.

“How could I know all of that about you but I missed that it was Aiden?” He asked. He was hurt and fragile and Paul could see it in his eyes and his lip trembled as he held his breath. Paul was afraid to move. He didn’t want to blink or breathe and lose Reginald. A wall had cracked and his defenses were down again. Paul could see inside, he could see him hiding beneath the bunker he’d built around himself.

“I’m sorry, I thought you knew,” Paul swore as he gathered Reginald’s face in his hands. His pupils bounced then blurred as tears filled his eyes and it was hard for Paul to breathe. “I would have mentioned it if I thought you’d care. I thought you knew and it wasn’t a big deal because none of the other men mattered,” he said and Reginald swallowed loudly.

“You loved him,” he rasped and Paul shushed him soothingly as he kissed him.

“I thought I was in love with him but that’s not the same as loving him. You can’t love someone you don’t know. I was in love with him for too long because I was too stupid to give up. I love you,” he said and his voice caught as he crushed Reginald’s lips and kissed him tenderly as he eased him back on the bed.

“I’m clearly a mess. This is why I don’t bother with names,” Reginald said then offered a brave smile as he pushed his hands into Paul’s hair.

“Don’t do that,” Paul said as he rested his forehead on Reginald’s and trapped his eyes. “Don’t hide again. Stay here,” he urged then pressed his lips to his. “Just stay with me, Reginald. Stop pretending to be brave and cold and stop running away from me. Stay and fall in love with me. Let me love you when you’re not strong and beautiful,” he begged and Reginald gasped as his eyes swung away. He clenched his jaw as he pulled a deep breath through his nose and his chest heaved as he held back a sob.

“What if you don’t love me? What if you see what I’m really like and you don’t love me because I’m not strong or beautiful? I’m not the kind of man men stay in love with and you were in love with Aiden for eleven years. How do I compete with that?” He asked shakily and Paul laughed.

“Compete? How do you compete with someone who was never there? Ask him anything you want about me. He can probably tell you my exact measurements within ounces and millimeters or how many times I bottomed or what words I use most during sex but he doesn’t know me. He never cared and you can’t love someone who doesn’t care no matter how hard you try,” he said and Reginald smiled mischievously.

“You say Jesus a lot,” he whispered and Paul hummed as he nibbled on the corner of his lips.

“You make me say it a lot more than he ever did,” he said and Reginald’s brow rose.

“You’re not always happy when I make you say it,” he argued and Paul shrugged.

“Does it matter? You love pissing me off just as much as you love getting me off,” he said and Reginald bit his lip.

“This is very true.” He became still as his eyes spilled into Paul’s and there wasn’t any space between them. Paul felt like whatever was inside of him was touching whatever was inside Reginald. He could hear Reginald’s heart beating and taste his breath. “I’ve never loved anyone before and it’s not great,” he said and Paul laughed as he kissed him.

“It’s not?”

“No. I think about you more than I think about myself and I want you to be happier than me. It’s fucking tedious,” he complained.

“You’re going to have to live with it,” Paul said. Reginald used his knees to part Paul’s legs and shifted as he gripped his thighs. He bucked beneath him, grinding their cocks against each other.

“We’ll see. I don’t think this is going to last very long,” he said and Paul groaned as he straddled his hips and sat up.

“Tonight? Probably not. I’ve had a lot to drink and we hustled all that stuff back from Lane’s then moved half an arsenal down a flight of stairs. I’m really turned on but I’m beat,” he admitted. “And you’re wrong about us. I told you I’ll always be here and I will always come when you need me. This is going to last,” he promised.

“Paul,” Reginald sighed as he sat up and captured his lips. His hands tore at the fly of Paul’s jeans as he kissed him wildly. “Can I fuck you?” He asked. Paul nodded as he rose on his knees but his lips clung to Reginald’s as he pushed, leaned and shifted until his legs were free then tossed his jeans and boxers on the floor. He pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it then reached for Reginald’s face.

“I want to ride you,” Paul said then attacked his lips. Reginald moaned in approval as he shoved the waist of his pants as low as he could. Paul hissed as rigid heat brushed against the inside of his thigh and his ass as Reginald teased him with his hard-on, rubbing it against his skin. His tongue glided along his jaw then curled around Paul’s ear.

“Check under my pillow,” he breathed and goosebumps spread down Paul’s neck and back as Reginald’s breath wafted against his cheek. Paul pushed his hand under the pillow then laughed as he pulled out a strip of condoms and a bottle of lube. Reginald waited patiently beneath him and Paul pressed a kiss to his lips before he dove for the other pillow and reached beneath it and removed two condoms and four packets of lube.

“Oh, my God,” Reginald said hoarsely. “This is going to last,” he realized and kissed Paul urgently. He reached around Paul and quickly rolled a condom down his shaft then coated it in lube. Paul bit his lip as he sat then hissed as the head of Reginald’s cock pushed into the tight ring of his ass. “Fuck, Paul…” Reginald moaned as his hands slid down Paul’s chest and abs. One tightened around Paul’s erection and the other locked around his hip as he bucked gently.

“Right there,” Paul urged as Reginald’s cock ground against his prostate. He was so thick and hard, right where Paul needed him as he undulated on the bed beneath him. Reginald was demanding and insatiable when Paul fucked him, he was indestructible and wild. When he fucked Paul he was commanding and achingly sensual, as if he sensed Paul’s insecurity and vulnerability when he bottomed. He wasn’t as confident and practiced at bottoming as Reginald but it was bliss and deeply shattering when Paul tried with him. And he was so deep. Paul couldn’t tell where Reginald’s body began and where his ended as they rocked and swayed against each other. The pleasure was intense and compelling as it spilled down Paul’s legs and up his spine. He could feel Reginald, locked tight against his ass as he lifted him off the bed with the slow, rolling buck of his hips as his hand slid and twisted around Paul’s shaft. It had to be magic, the way he summoned all the heat and need in Paul’s body and made it gather in his groin and in the tight ball of pressure in his ass. It was sorcery, the way he used his hands to stir pleasure and pressure and pull it from deep inside Paul until it was overwhelming and rushing into his sack and the base of his erection. Reginald gathered all the heat, pleasure and pressure until it swelled and surged and Paul screamed his name and cum pumped from his cock in bright, scorching flecks.

“Tell me he didn’t do this to you,” Reginald growled as he rolled Paul onto his back and drove deep. Paul arched as joy and ecstasy rushed through him. After being discarded and forgotten by Aiden, being claimed by a man who belonged to no one and only cared about himself was stunning and exhilarating. To be desired and adored by the man Paul craved and ached for in such a deeply spiritual and vulnerable way was precious and riveting.

“Only you could do this to me,” Paul confessed as he pulled Reginald into his body with his hands, legs, feet, heart, lips… “Only you!” He gasped as Reginald wrapped Paul’s legs around his waist then fell forward. He wrapped around Paul and became the world as he filled him with deep, hard, claiming strokes. All Paul could taste and smell was Reginald. His peppery, lemony taste was all over Paul’s lips and in the air when he pulled in a breath. His scent filled Paul’s sinuses and lungs as he drowned in the aftermath of his own climax. Reginald’s skin was slick and hot as it slid against Paul’s as they writhed, mindless and lost in each other. He couldn’t feel his own heart but he could feel Reginald’s as it beat faster and harder. He could feel Reginald’s nerves twisting tight and flickering as he ground harder and deeper and his body became hotter and more frantic. His breath thundered in Paul’s ear as his hands clawed and gripped until Reginald slammed into his core and shattered.

“Paul!” Reginald cried as his body jerked and his head snapped back. He was frozen and suspended above Paul as his eyes rolled and his jaw stretched. “Oh…fuck.” His eyelids fell as his face softened just before his body jumped and twisted and he convulsed in delirious pleasure. I did that to him, Paul thought with tremendous satisfaction as he reached for Reginald and pulled him on top of him.

“No more Fuck and Suck or triads or Columbians,” Paul declared as his hand cradled Reginald’s head and pulled his face into the corner of his neck.

“Who?” Reginald laughed as his arms tightened around Paul. He licked and sucked at Paul’s skin until another weak laugh slipped from him. “They didn’t feel like this. Nothing’s ever felt like this,” he added gently and Paul sighed as he held him close.

“Nothing,” Paul agreed and he knew he’d never feel happy or whole if he couldn’t hear Reginald’s voice or hold him in his arms.