Chapter 23
Before Clarke can protest, her top is being lifted over her head. Her mouth crashes against Eli’s once it’s free. The kiss is like six years of solitude coming to an end. From the farthest reaches of the earth these two people could somehow find one another. They're connected in body and mind, from the first moment they fell in love. This kiss proves what they've been denying. What they share is powerful. It's innocent and all-consuming. It's precious, but most importantly forever.
Clarke isn't thinking about her life, her relationship with Tim, or the ring she wears on her left hand. This isn't about cheating or belonging to someone else, because she was never Tim's to have. She's always belonged to Eli.
Like a tornado wreaking havoc on the land, this kiss is about to change their lives.
They pull away and peer into each other’s souls. Eli lifts his hand and strokes her cheek, brushing the hair away from her flushed skin. “Everything I’ve ever wanted is right here in front of me, and you’re the only person who can stop me from taking it.”
She replies in a whisper, while dragging her lips over his. “What if I don’t want you to stop? What if I never want this to end?”
The world stops spinning. It’s quiet. There’s nothing but the two of them, getting swept away in a romance that never should have ended.
Eli doesn’t take his time. He can’t. The fear of her changing her mind keeps him moving forward. He’s being selfish and he knows it. If he does this someone will get hurt, but he has to try. This is his last ditch effort to convince Clarke that they’ll never be over. No matter how long it takes, or who she thinks she should be with, Eli knows what Clarke is afraid to admit.
He picks her up and carries her to his bedroom; a place where they’ve made love many times. Clarke helps him undress, while Eli rips away the rest of what’s covering her delectable body. They crash together in a kiss so powerful she’s left breathless.
Eli shoves her onto the bed and hovers over her, reacquainting himself with a body that’s changed from what he remembers. There’s so much to explore, but no time to consider where to start. He has to keep going, distracting her thoughts with pure ecstasy.
With her hands dug into his hips, Clarke positions Eli over her. For someone with a lot to lose, she’s completely focused on what’s to come. Eager and hungry would be how she describes being with Eli again. His strong arms and large hands explore her tender skin. He teases her, licking, kissing and sucking every inch he can reach.
He slithers down between her legs and tastes her nectar, while causing her body to spasm. Kissing his way back up to her lips, he thinks about all the times he dreamed of this happening again.
Taking his time, Eli slides into her as he exhales, his breath catching in his throat when he hears her gasp under him. Clarke’s back arches towards him, her eyes closing in pleasure. He turns his head away; not wanting to look at her, because he fears she’ll attest to this act. He can’t risk her realizing he’s not the man she’s promised herself to. He wants her to remain caught in the moment, lustful and ravenous.
Eli sets a pace to his thrusts that are sickeningly slow, the tension of the encounter coils inside of him. He works a steady rhythm, his lips teasing hers as low groans escape him. This encounter is like nothing he’s ever experienced. His body shakes against hers. He feels emotional and out of control, almost as if it’s just a dream he’s going to eventually wake up from.
Clarke’s hands tug at him, pleading for it to be harder and faster, but he refuses. In all the things he's done wrong, he wouldn't screw up this time. If this is a mistake he wants it to last as long as possible. Eli needs to etch every single minute of this into his mind to remember. He needs to be able to smile and know they had another chance to feel the power and pull that only the two of them have for each other. He’s fully inside of her now, her wet channel allowing for extreme pleasure.
Trusting his judgment, Clarke begins to explore. She touches his arms, tracing the scars on his shoulders that she wonders are from Afghanistan, or the hard work he does on constructions jobs. He kisses her neck, once for each of the years he'd abandoned her. Then he kisses her shoulder for all the times he wished he could come back into her loving arms. He kisses along her collarbone for all the nights she'd had to stay up with a newborn baby without the help of his father. She gasps into his ear like she understands what he’s doing. Eli continues his slow, apologetic rhythm.
He touches her body in all the right places, teasing her center until she writhes, so appreciative, and thankful for him.
She shudders under him, desperately wanting the pace faster, but lets him do what he pleases. Clarke knows he needs this. Eli pushes in deep, his lips sliding along her neck. He wishes he could tell her he was sorry for the way he left, sorry for the pain he caused, sorry for the emptiness she felt, but mostly sorry for ever believing she’d give up on him. He feels guilty for putting her through it all, for walking away when all she wanted was to be with him. He didn't deserve her love, but it wouldn't stop him from trying to make amends. Giving up is no longer in Eli’s vocabulary.
His hands trail down her hips. She reaches up to touch him, to reciprocate, but he takes her hand and pushes it down, lacing all of his fingers with hers. He feels her engagement ring against his fingers and feels a rush of guilt. She’s betraying someone she loves. He’s making her choose without saying the words. Eli swallows the lump in his throat and kisses her again, grabbing at her thighs while thrusting a bit harder. His lips graze her ear, his forehead resting against hers. His voice is raspy as he speaks. “Please forgive me, Clarke. I’ll never forgive myself for what I put you through.”
She opens her mouth to speak, but he stops her with another hungry kiss.
"I'm so sorry," he whispers again while picking up his pace.
Clarke holds back all the things she wants to say and chooses to keep this moment. Her arms slide across his back, pulling him closer to her. She groans in his ear as he thrusts into her harder, feeling him quicken and shudder. He’s losing control and it feels so good.
She cries out as he kisses her hard, tongue against hers, hot and fast. His fingers curl in her hair as his breath quickens. Her legs slide up his body as he collapses against her, groaning into her neck, nipping her skin, sweat beading on his temples.
Her back arches as he grips her tightly. He bites her ear and as he slides into her over and over again. He fits perfectly, like he was made to fulfill her every desire.
Then it happens. Simultaneously, the two lost lovers come undone as one. They forge into a euphoric cloud of bliss, entangled and high on a combined orgasm.
His chest heaves as he holds her close and embraces the details in the moment. Even though he wants to continue, Eli knows not to push his luck. They’ve made love for the first time in six years. Neither of them anticipated this would happen. Emotions got in the way. One thing led to another. One compliment. Another I’m sorry. Lost feelings. Broken hearts. Tons of reasons why they shouldn’t, but a million more clouding their judgment. It’s happened. Now nothing will ever be the same.