Trey
That night, I could barely sleep. I kept thinking of Angel and wondering if she was turning and twisting in her bed the same way I was in mine. It was torture knowing she was only a few rooms away. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to act, knowing she was so close but so far? I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was my fault. But whenever I started feeling sorry for her, some of the anger came back. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe her now when she said things like she wanted to be with me forever, or that she loved me. It was that I was worried. She had said those same things, many times, and then she’d left. I hadn’t ever heard from her again. She didn’t even have the consideration to break up with me to my face.
It had all started the morning after Angel’s eighteenth birthday.
“Trey,” my mother barked from the kitchen. As usual, she was perched on a stool with a cigarette dangling from her hand, her fingers stained yellow with nicotine at the tips. “Where the hell have you been?”
I ran a hand through my hair and looked at the floor. I had a bad feeling, ever since I’d woken up. After I’d dropped Angel off at home, I’d driven around for hours. Even though we’d parted on terms like that before, there was something in the air that had felt final. I couldn’t believe the look her father had given me. It wasn’t quite one of conquest, but more like one of…pity. I hadn’t quite understood last night, but now an inkling of something darker was forming in my brain. Somehow, he must have felt for me. But why? What was going on?
“I’ve been home,” I said flatly. “Didn’t you hear me? I got in around five in the morning.” It was true. After I’d almost run out of gas, I ambled home and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I saw Angel’s face in every whorl of plaster, every chipped bit of surface in my room. The hold Angel had on me scared me. It was enough to make me change my life, change everything I’d ever done.
Mom looked at me with a blank expression on her pasty, doughy face. “Whatever you say, boy,” she said, blowing a plume of smoke at the ceiling.
I was a few feet away but I could smell the booze on her breath like she’d just finished drinking. I shuddered. Mom had tried when I’d been a little kid, but not anymore. She’d about given up. I wondered if things would be different if my dad had been around, but probably not. Mom wasn’t the kind of person who could stand up to various stressors. She just didn’t have it in her. She couldn’t hold down a job for more than a month at a time, and she buckled under the slightest pressure. I felt bad sometimes, like it was my fault. But looking into Mom’s dead eyes, I could barely see the person behind the muddy-colored irises. She was like a shell, a husk of the woman she’d once been.
“I’m going out,” I told her. Even if she tried to stop me, it wouldn’t work. Just as I expected, when I got to the door, I heard her weak cries of protest. “Mom, this is important,” I said, my hand on the knob as I turned around to face her. “I have to do something, just for me this time.”
“Everything you do is for you,” she replied, catching me off-guard. “You men are so selfish; you don’t even think about how much we suffer for you.”
When she was drinking, Mom was prone to these bouts of “wisdom.” But much like the look Angel’s father had given me last night, there was something different, something unsettling about her words this time.
“If you picked now to start lecturing me, this isn’t the best time,” I told her. “I’ll be back later.”
This time, Mom was silent. She stared at me with glassy eyes and kept her dry lips closed. The silence in the room was palpable, awkward. Finally, I shrugged it off and walked outside. The day was clear, chillier than I’d expected. The sunlight was harsh against my face. I’d gotten maybe three hours of sleep. I knew I had to get to Angel, had to hear her reassurance. I had to make sure things would be okay. Even if this summer was rough, I’d be with her in the fall. I was already planning to move to her college town and surprise her with a ring at Christmas. I even had one picked out — it was yellow gold, with a small round diamond. On the inside of the band I had a four-leaf clover stamped into the gold, to match the pendant I’d given her. She didn’t know yet, at least I didn’t think she suspected. I was dying to give it to her now, but I knew I had to wait until she was at least a little bit out of her parents’ clutches.
The drive to Angel’s house was torturous and long. Traffic was slow and I beat my fist against the steering wheel, more conscious than ever of my ripped shirt and grease-stained pants. It occurred to me too late that I should have changed, or even stopped to buy some new clothes on the way.
“Why are you so nervous?” My voice sounded hoarse, boyish, aloud in the car. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror — my eyes were wide, scared. There was perspiration on my forehead and I could see I was shaking. As I shifted in my seat, a gust of sweaty odor came up to meet me. I cracked a grin. At least I was still cocky as ever: going to win my high-class girlfriend when I looked like shit. Angel knew I didn’t care about impressing her, but sometimes I still felt like I should try. After all, I was the luckiest guy in the world. I had the hottest girl I’d ever seen. So what if we’d had a bad night? We still loved each other just as much as ever. Right?
My nerves were jangling as I pulled into Angel’s parents’ driveway. The gate was closed and I parked, hopping out of my car and pacing around. Her window was closed — unusual for Angel; I knew she loved the chill air as much as I did. I wondered if she’d be happy I’d shown up. Today was my first chance to make things right with her folks, and damned if I wasn’t going to give it a shot.
The property was eerily silent. I could see one of Angel’s father’s cars, an Aston Martin, parked carelessly in the driveway. There was a scuff on the driver’s side door and I shivered. Whoever had done that was definitely going to get his wrath. Suddenly, I laughed out loud. I realized no one had scratched his car; it had to have been him. And he didn’t care, because he was so rich he could just go out and buy another one. Things, possessions must not have mattered to him the way they mattered to others. I shook my head. These people were nuts, but I loved their daughter. I had to get in right with them.
“Hello?” I called out as I pressed the button on the gate. There was no answer. After a minute, I heard the crackle of static over the intercom.
“Who is it?” The voice that answered me was unfamiliar. “Can I help you?”
“Uh, yeah,” I said, clearing my throat. “Is Angel home? I was hoping I could talk to her.”
The crackling stopped and there was silence. No reply. I pressed the buzzer another couple of times. No reply. Finally, I mashed my thumb down on the button and held it. A little part of me, somewhere in the back of my brain, was insisting that this was a horrible idea. But now I was starting to get mad. Why wouldn’t they fucking acknowledge me? Why couldn’t they even give me a straight answer? It was like they didn’t even think I deserved one.
“Sir, I’ll be out in a moment,” the reply came.
I wasn’t expecting the harsh sound and I jumped. “Okay, fine,” I said, stepping back from the gate and lazily swinging my feet around in the air. “Fine. Come talk to me.”
The minutes that followed were some of the slowest I’d ever endured in my whole life. I kept craning my neck and looking up at Angel’s window. All of the nights she’d snuck out, all of the nights I’d called her by throwing change at the glass. There probably had to be ten dollars in nickels under her window by now. The majority of our courtship had been silent, quiet, furtive. Well, not anymore. I was determined to love my woman openly. I was determined to try to win over her parents. If they rejected me after all of this, fine. They could do that. But I at least wanted to try, to try to show I was the bigger person. After all, we couldn’t be so different. We both loved Angel. Even if that was the only thing I’d ever have in common with her parents, I didn’t mind.
Finally, I heard the front door open and close. I couldn’t see who was walking outside, but I heard heavy footsteps. They were booming too loudly to be Angel’s father — even though he was a tall man, he was on the slender side. His intimidation came from his wealth, not from his size. His sense of self-importance was very clearly derived from his ability to buy the world and his confidence in that. I couldn’t see him in a fight, no matter how rough things became.
My mouth went dry as the gate opened. There was an enormous man standing in front of me. He was wearing a dark grey suit and wraparound sunglasses.
“Hello,” the man said. “How may I assist you?”
“I’m here to see Angel,” I said, standing straight and tall. “We didn’t have plans, but she’ll want to see me.”
The man smiled and I felt a twinge of anger rush through me. Why wasn’t he talking? What the fuck was going on?
“I’m afraid that won’t be possible,” the man told me. I could see the faintest trace of a smirk on his fat lips. “Angel isn’t available right now.”
“I know she’s home,” I replied hotly. The man didn’t reply and I realized he hadn’t said she wasn’t home, just unavailable. I frowned. “I need to see her,” I said. “I need to apologize.”
The man stepped closer and I felt a wave of menace emanating from his gigantic frame. “That won’t be possible,” he said curtly. “And, besides, whatever could you have to apologize for? You don’t look like someone who associates with the Fosters.”
“Angel Carringer has been my girlfriend for almost a year,” I protested. “She loves me. Come on, dude, I know you don’t know me, but trust me! I love her! I just need to make sure she’s okay.”
The man looked at me over the tops of his sunglasses. “And why wouldn’t she be?” He smirked. “Did you do something to her?”
“No, god!” I yelped. My voice came out in a strangled cry. “No, I didn’t hurt her! I’d never hurt her! I love her!”
“I think it’s best if you leave,” the man said. He made a fist with one hand and tapped his other open palm with it. “You have no business here. I’ll be forced to call the police if you don’t leave the property immediately.”
I ran a hand through my hair. My heart was beating like a drum in my chest and my throat was getting tighter by the moment. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I’d never felt so scared in my life — it seemed like all of my paranoia and anxiety last night had come to fruition. Damn! Why hadn’t I snuck out and tried to phone her? I made up my mind that I was going to do that as soon as I had the chance. After all, Angel was eighteen. She was an adult now. Her parents didn’t have to dictate her life; she was a free woman, grown up and ready to make her own choices.
“Fine,” I snapped. “I’m going. Happy now?”
The man shook his head. Confusion rose in me as he stepped closer. When he reached inside of his jacket and slipped his hand into a pocket, I ducked, thinking that he was going to emerge with a gun. The asshole had the nerve to laugh at my reaction, but it wasn’t a gun that he brought out. It was an envelope.
“This is for you, sir,” the man said with a touch of irony. “Why don’t you take a look at it now?”
Thinking it might be a letter from Angel, I reached out and grabbed the envelope from his proffered hand. But it was too fat to contain a letter, and when I peeled back the flap I saw stacks and stacks of green inside.
“Money?” I said in disgust. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Mr. and Mrs. Carringer are very serious about this,” the man said. He smirked at me again.
I thrust the envelope back into his hands but he didn’t take it, and the paper fell to the ground. Various bills of different value fell out and scattered all over the fresh coat of asphalt on the driveway. I barely glanced down. The guy took another menacing step towards me and I balled my hands into fists at my sides, ready for the attack. He swung first and I ducked, landing a solid punch at his side. Even though he had looked bulky from a distance, I’d seriously misjudged his girth. There wasn’t an inch of fat on this man’s body, and his solid muscle prevented my punch from really hitting home. Pain reverberated through my body and I yanked my arm back just as he swung back and cracked me right on the jaw. Bright lights exploded in front of my eyes and I staggered backwards, blinking and rubbing the side of my face.
“I think you’d better leave now,” the man said. He wasn’t even panting or breathing hard. “Unless you want to get the authorities involved.”
“Angel!” I screamed as loudly as I could. It stung my throat and the man was rushing at me again just as I ducked around the side of my car. “Angel! It’s me! Trey! Come outside! What the fuck is going on?”
The front door opened and closed again and there was a rapid patter of footsteps. Thinking it was Angel, I perked up and looked around the side of the open gate. But it wasn’t Angel; it was her mother. She was striding towards me with her jaw set and her thin lips in a narrow line.
“Mr. Minter,” she said softly. “I had hoped the guard would work, but I see I’ll have to deal with you myself.”
“Where’s Angel?” I bristled in anger and reached out for her, completely forgetting that twenty minutes ago my goal had been to win over Angel’s parents once and for all. “Where is she?”
“She’s not available right now,” Angel’s mother said softly, in the same direct tone her bodyguard had used. “I don’t think she’ll be available for the near future, Trey. Angel’s going to be a very busy little girl. She’s going off to college soon, and she’ll have a whole new set of challenges away from home.”
I balled my hands into fists and shoved them in my pockets. “I just need to talk to her,” I said, trying to keep my voice as calm as I could. “Don’t you get that?”
Angel’s mother sighed. She straightened up and for the first time, I realized just how little resemblance there was between mother and daughter. “I’m sure the two of you don’t have anything to talk about,” she said in the same sweet but firm voice. “Now, if you won’t mind leaving, I’m just about to go out and run some errands.”
I shook my head. “I’m not leaving until I talk to Angel,” I said firmly. My jaw was already swelling and talking was painful. Sweat had broken out all over my body and in the chilly morning air, I felt goose bumps rise on my exposed skin. “I mean it,” I said softly. “I just want to talk to her. Ten minutes.”
Angel’s mother shook her head. “This conversation is over, Mr. Minter,” she replied. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
I protested loudly but she turned away, walking back towards the house with the click of her heels. The bodyguard was standing there, watching me.
He grinned and when I held up a fist, his face sobered. “Leave,” he said. “Leave or you’ll regret it.”
The blood was pounding hot in my ears as I walked around and climbed in the driver’s seat of my car. I didn’t know what had happened, but it must have been something bad. I knew I had to get someplace private and call Angel, lie and say it was her college admissions department or something. Anything. I knew I had to try. I couldn’t let Angel go away and disappear forever. After all, she was mine. Mine, and I had to take care of her, protect her from people like her parents.
Driving home, I felt the nervous feeling from that morning settle over me like a fog. By the time I pulled up in front of the shack where we lived, my heart was pounding again. I had a bad feeling, like everything had gone off the rails.
“Mom?” I called out when I let myself inside. “Are you home?”
There was no reply, only the sound of the door slamming behind me. Fear rose in my throat like bile as I raced into the kitchen. Mom was slumped over, still seated at the table. Her face was smashed up against her hand and I realized she wasn’t breathing by the time I got to her side. She had simply given up, gone to a better place.
I laughed bitterly. So far, today was the worst day of my life. It wasn’t even noon, but I had the greatest sense of loss I’d ever felt.
I shook my head slowly, trying to clear the memories from my murky mind. I hated thinking about that day. Every aspect made me sick, from the way Angel had refused to see me to the way my mom had died as soon as I’d left home. I felt like a complete failure, even now. Like all of this was my fault.
“That’s not true and you know it,” I said forcefully into the mirror. But despite the heavy sentiment behind my words, I didn’t feel very convinced.
Even though it was only the middle of the day, I found Ram in the kitchen and told him I wanted to go to the bar.
“I need to get out of here for a while,” I told him seriously. “I need to talk to you guys about something serious.”
Ram nodded. “Angel?”
I nodded without replying. “Call Andy and Wolf,” I said darkly. “I want all of y’all to hear this.”
Half an hour later, I was slipping into the Skullbreakers’ favorite haunt. I’d called one of the prospect members to watch over Angel and Chuckie. She’d had the nerve to ask me if she could go to work in the morning. It was ludicrous; every time she stepped out of the house, she was in danger. And yet it was like she didn’t care, or didn’t understand just how dire things were.
“What’s up?” I hadn’t seen Andy or Wolf in a couple of weeks, and they seemed bigger, scruffier to me. Andy’s voice boomed across the bar as he greeted me and I couldn’t help but grin. Being around my guys, no matter how bad things were, always made me feel a little better.
“I need to talk to you guys,” I said darkly. “Ram told you about that girl staying with me, and her son?”
Andy and Wolf nodded.
“She’s an ex of mine,” I said. “We dated when we were kids. It was serious; we were in love.”
Andy and Wolf burst out laughing. Even though I couldn’t blame them, I frowned. They were used to me being hot shit and fucking who I wanted. Neither one of them had ever seen me with a girlfriend. When they realized I wasn’t joking, they both sobered up.
“What happened?”
I shrugged. “She left me,” I said flatly. “The morning after her eighteenth birthday I showed up at her place and she wouldn’t see me. Her mother tried to pay me off but I didn’t take the money.”
“You should have,” Andy said. He swigged back most of his beer in one gulp. “Don’t you think things would have been better that way?”
“Fuck no,” I said, downing a shot of whiskey the cute waitress had placed in front of me. “Definitely not. I was trying to win her parents over, not buy into their schemes.”
“Fuckin’ parents,” Ram said darkly. He drank some of his beer and wiped his hand with the back of his mouth. “Always wantin’ to lock up their daughters away from us outlaws.”
Andy and Wolf sniggered into their drinks.
“I woulda done right by her,” I said. “But all that’s over now.”
“So why is she hangin’ around?”
“Remember Damien?” I hadn’t met my guys until after Damien and I were no longer friends, but he’d come up loads of times. After all, he was the chief outlaw in Centerville. The Skullbreakers had spent a lot of time trying to corral him and keep the rest of the town safe. It was something that was like a never-ending job; Damien always had a few tricks up his sleeve.
The guys nodded. Andy let out a low whistle. “Yeah, man. Is he fuckin’ with your girl?”
“She’s not my girl,” I said quickly, downing another shot. “But Damien is fucking with her, yeah. He sent some thugs to scare her at her job, and I just happened to show up. I heard them talking about attacking her at this bar and I followed them. I didn’t think they were gonna fuckin’ do it, but they were about ready to kidnap her and drag her off on one of their bikes.”
Andy’s jaw dropped. Ram nodded sagely; I had the feeling he knew just how serious this situation was. Even though we didn’t have a lot of heart-to-hearts, Ram was always good at reading the situation for severity.
“And then what?” Wolf raised his eyebrows. “You tellin’ me these guys just wanna fuck with her, to what, get to us? How is that gonna work?”
I sighed. “She’s staying with me right now because she needs protection,” I said. “I stuck one of the prospects with her.”
“She has a kid,” Ram added darkly. “An eight-year-old son. Y’all can’t tell me you disapprove of protecting a little kid.”
“Yeah,” I said, grateful at least one friend had my back. “I think it’ll all blow over sooner than later, but for right now, we need to be cautious.”
“So why does this matter?” Andy leaned back in his chair and eyed me levelly. “I mean, she’s an ex. Why does this matter now? Who cares, man? She fuckin’ left you!”
Anger boiled up in me and I had to consciously fight the urge to deck him. If it had been me in his shoes, I probably would have said the same thing. But that was no excuse for ignorance. And what happened to chivalry? Sure, the Angels weren’t the masters of civility, but we knew how to treat and protect women. After all, it was like part of the job.
“She’s vulnerable and alone,” I said sharply. “And I gotta look out for her.”
Andy nodded. “Fine,” he said. “What else?”
Ram and Wolf looked at me.
“Have you guys heard anything else about Damien? I want to find out exactly what his end-game is here,” I added.
“Well, y’all were friends when you were younger,” Ram said. “And he hated you for succeeding when he never did. Do you think he’s just trying to pull us down? Distract us with Angel and then sink his teeth into our Achilles’ heel?”
It was a black thought, but Ram was probably right. “Probably,” I admitted. “I’m sorry, you guys. I didn’t think it would blow up like this. After all, we were friends ten years ago.”
Andy frowned. “What happened?”
I shrugged. “He hated me for not being an outlaw,” I said. “He hated me for wanting to do right by Angel. We were friends when I was dating her, and he hated how important she was to me. It was like I couldn’t let a few hours go by without talking to her and making sure she was okay. Damien knew how important she was to me, and he exploited the fuck out of that. And when I didn’t drop her, he got fed up with me.”
“But she dropped you, man. Why didn’t you just go back to being friends with him?”
My stomach turned and I was reminded of the scene I’d thought over before meeting up with the guys. Angel leaving, Mom dying, all in the same day.
“A lot happened at once,” I said finally. “And I didn’t feel like I could deal with being friends with him again. He didn’t trust me, and if I was broken up over Angel, well, I didn’t want to admit he’d been right. He always told me that she was too good for me and that one day would come when she’d realize that. And I didn’t want the bastard to know the truth.”
The guys nodded. The silence between us was comfortable, but I still felt like I was over-sharing. Even with Ram, my best friend, it seemed like I was saying way too much.
“So, she’s been attacked twice,” I said cautiously. “We need to keep an eye on her until we’ve subdued Damien. He must have his guys watching my house, because the second time was right after she snuck out.” I glared at Ram, still not entirely having forgotten about the incident. “And she shouldn’t have been outside alone, but she barely got twenty feet alone before those thugs showed up and tried to snatch her.”
“This is more serious than I thought,” Andy said. “How you want to get him back?”
“I don’t know,” I said, frowning. I steepled my hands on the table and rested my forehead on the hot skin of my fingers. “I mean, I told him to leave her alone. I threatened that I’d hurt him. But that was before the second time she was attacked. So obviously he didn’t listen, and obviously he wants to keep fucking with me.”
“And what about the kid? Don’t you think that’s a liability, man?”
I blinked. Andy, Ram, and Wolf kept their eyes trained on me. “He’s mine,” I said finally. “She was pregnant when she left, and she never told me. She never thought to get in touch and tell me,” I said. The words were hard to get out; it felt like I was choking on the severity of the situation. “His name is Chuckie, and he’s my son. Well, mine and Angel’s. And he doesn’t know I’m his dad, yet.”
Ram nodded. I could tell he’d basically guessed as much from our conversation. I met his eyes, silently thanking him for not giving me up to the others.
“And you can’t tell a damn soul,” I said seriously. “If anyone finds out about this kid, or my past with her, that’s an easy way to exploit me. I’ll be in trouble, and so will they.”
The guys all promised not to say anything. After that, the air hung heavy between us. I didn’t want to keep talking about it, so I ordered a round of shots and watched Andy pull the cute waitress down on his lap.
The atmosphere felt like we were all waiting for a bomb to go off. We needed a plan, and fast. But first, we had to take care of Angel and Chuckie.