It’s Friday, and I’m doing the one thing I’ve been dreading all week—getting ready for the charity gala. I had to call in Clare, our sitter, which I haven’t had to do in a while. Not since we last went out to Fiona and Dylan’s anniversary party.
My phone chirps in my clutch, and my eyes dart to the en suite behind me as I hear the shower still going behind the closed door. Thinking I have enough time, I dig it out and read the message.
Jared: What are you doing tonight, Blondie?
I bite my lip to hold back a smile. He’s toned it down a little with the texting. But I find myself looking forward to them now, even though I shouldn’t. Leo’s barely been home all week. When he does get home, I’m usually already in bed and pretending to be asleep.
Me: Not much. Might watch a movie with the kids. You?
For some reason, I don’t want to make the differences between our lives any more prominent by telling him what I’m really doing.
I glance at the time, noting that it’s almost seven. We need to leave soon to be in the city before eight when the event starts.
The shower shuts off, but his reply comes through right away.
Jared: Working. When can I see you again?
I knew the question might come, that I’d be a fool in thinking he’d be happy with only seeing me for a short time every Tuesday, but I can’t think about that right now. Not when Leo opens the bathroom door and comes striding into the bedroom in just a towel. I put my phone away, slip my silver hoops into my ears, and watch his broad back through the mirror as he heads into our walk-in closet to get dressed.
I blow out a heavy breath, missing the days when he’d walk around naked in our room, teasing and taunting me with a crooked grin. I finish pinning my hair back off my face and rise from the stool at my dressing table, smoothing down the gauzy skirt of my lavender gown as I do. Doing a quick scan in the full-length mirror, I quickly adjust one of the off-the-shoulder straps. I then take a second to admire the way the bodice wraps tightly around me, accentuating my curves before flowing to the floor in a beautiful mess. I slip my feet into my strappy cream heels and bend over to lace them up.
Straightening, I find Leo adjusting his tie as he watches me. I glance away and grab my clutch from my dressing table.
“Ready?” I head for the door, not waiting for a response. I walk downstairs to tell Clare that we should be back by eleven and make sure that she knows she can call me at any time.
“Mommy!” Greta gushes, running into the kitchen in her polka dot nightgown. “You look like a real-life princess.”
She moves in to touch the soft material of my gown as I smile down at her. It’s true, and it’s one of the only perks of going to these events. I get to feel beautiful and spoil myself a little with getting done up for them.
“Greta,” Leo admonishes gently. “Hands off, you were just eating dinner.”
She steps back, smiling up at him sheepishly. He walks over to her and bends down to kiss both her cheeks and then her lips when she closes her eyes and puckers them up for him.
Charlie comes in, and Leo kisses his head, smoothing his large hand over our son’s messy hair. “Be good and make sure you go to bed when Clare tells you to. All right?”
They both nod. Clare smiles at them, clapping her hands together. “Right. Let’s go pick a movie and a board game.” The kids run off, and she follows them, telling us to have fun over her shoulder as she leaves the kitchen.
Clearing my throat, I lift my gown and walk out into the garage, Leo following close behind and unlocking his car on the way. I climb in when he opens the door for me, a bit caught off guard by the act, then adjust my dress and clutch in my lap while he climbs in the other side.
I’ve always loved riding with Leo; the trust I have in him as he speeds around the curves and works the car to his every whim is implicit. Watching him drive, or do anything with his hands, makes my blood heat to a steady simmer in my veins. But tonight, I just stare out the window in the awkward silence and try not to inhale his familiar scent of expensive cologne and spearmint that’s filling every inch of his Aston Martin.
“How’s work at the shelter going?” he asks as we approach Rayleigh.
I’m startled by the question, by the interest, and I don’t try to hide it as I straighten in my seat. “Um, good. Busy, as usual.”
He nods and changes gears as we turn down the avenue that leads to the Hedgington Hotel, where the gala is being held.
“What about you? You’ve been gone a lot this week.” I look over at him and notice the way his jaw subtly clenches.
“Yeah, got a lot of shit going on.” He shrugs, but the visible tension in his shoulders doesn’t allow them to move much.
We pull into the hotel and join the line for the valet. Feeling a lot braver than usual tonight, I let my eyes skim over his gray fitted suit. He’s wearing a charcoal gray dress shirt underneath, but I notice that he ended up ditching the tie, opting to unbutton the first few buttons of his shirt instead. I bite my lip as heat gathers low in my stomach. But now isn’t the time. It’s never the time, I remind myself. Gone are the days when I could suffer through these events with a smile on my face. I’d mentally undress my husband all night, knowing that I’d be peeling his suit off him as soon as we got home. Looking at him now, though—well, it feels like a tease. A heart twistingly, unbearable tease.
He’s my husband, yet it doesn’t feel like I’m allowed to have him anymore.
I check my clutch and close it just as Leo gets out and rounds the car to open my door for me. His hand is held out for mine, and I hesitantly take it, absorbing every inch of warmth that I can from the simple touch as he closes the door. He releases me but then tucks my arm into the crook of his elbow, leading me around the car and up onto the sidewalk to hand the valet our keys. Right, appearances, I think darkly to myself.
I blow out a breath, my eyes flying over to the valet when he says, “Sweet ride, man.”
Leo merely nods, but my heart comes to a crashing halt in my chest as I take in Jared, dressed in a valet uniform, red vest and all. His green eyes are on me, and even though he winks, I’m not fooled. I see the way his corded throat swallows, the way his jaw clenches, the way his eyes dart back and forth between Leo and me before he stalks off to take Leo’s car.
If Leo noticed anything, he doesn’t make it known as we walk inside and join our friends and his colleagues for a few drinks before dinner begins. I’m both nervous and bored to tears but enjoying the delicious roast lamb, if nothing else, as Lydia Donald and her husband talk our ears off over dinner. When the auction begins, and everyone quiets, I’m petrified that the pounding of my heart is about to start echoing in the large room we’re sitting in as I wonder where Jared is right now. I glance up at Leo, only to find his eyes are already on me.
“You look beautiful,” he murmurs quietly. “Then again, you always do.”
My heart warms, and I stare at his lips, his slightly plump, delicious to kiss lips. I miss them. But then he glances away, and I suddenly feel cold again.
After the auction finishes, I drag myself to the bathroom for a reprieve and to text Clare to ask about the kids. I pause in the hallway on the way back out as her message comes through, saying they’re fine and have just fallen asleep.
“Blondie.” His voice is quiet but close.
Tucking my phone away, I turn around to find Jared at the end of the hall, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. I look around quickly and spying no one else nearby, walk over to him, stopping a few meters away as his green eyes devour every inch of me.
“You look like you need a good ravishing, princess.”
I smile, my cheeks flushing as my eyes fall on his mouth. His mouth that was between my legs just three days ago.
My teeth sink into my lip while I lean a shoulder against the wall next to me. “Shhh. You work here, too?”
“Sometimes they need the extra help for fancy events such as this, and the tips are nothing to sneeze at.” He smirks.
“They … they let you? After your history with cars?” I can’t help but ask.
His shoulder tilts into a half shrug. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”
I watch him for a moment, noticing the way his eyes seem almost sad.
“What’s—”
“Dahlia.” Leo’s deep voice cuts me off as it sounds from the opposite end of the hallway behind me. I turn and find his blue eyes like ice as they dart back and forth between Jared and me.
Looking back at Jared, I see him glaring at my husband.
Well, fuck.
“I’ll see you on Tuesday?” I offer timidly to Jared, who finally drags his eyes from Leo long enough to nod at me with furrowed brows. I turn and walk back down the hallway, Leo falling into step beside me as we head back to our table. He’s halted by Hugo, a work colleague, and I’m grateful for it. I excuse myself, needing a drink—or three—and head to the bar just as everyone starts milling around and the noise levels pick up again.
I sit alone for a while, enjoying the solitude and the champagne as my heart starts to finally slow to a normal rhythm. Matilda, one of the organizers’ wives, comes over and joins me, and I hope I hide my wince well enough behind my glass.
“You look lovely, darling,” she says, air kissing both of my cheeks. If the air kisses weren’t enough to make me gag, the amount of Chanel no.5 she’s smothered herself in definitely does the trick. But I manage to return the sentiment.
“Oh, don’t I?” she gushes, smoothing a hand down the bodice of her midnight blue gown that would be better suited as swimwear, due to how little it leaves to the imagination.
“How are those babies of yours?” She bats her lashes, looking around the room distractedly and waving to a few people.
She always thinks they’re still babies, and though I sometimes wish they were, it’s been years of her asking the same question now. But I can’t find it in me to correct her tonight.
“They’re great. With the sitter tonight.”
She hums. “And how’s our dear Taylor doing, hmmm?” She tilts her head a fraction. “It’s been a few years since she’s graced us with her presence at any of these events.”
Leo’s mom. I force a big smile. “She’s great, traveling and enjoying life as she should be.” My tone dares her to say otherwise. Some of these people can get on my last nerve with their self-righteous bullshit. Taylor’s donated and given enough of her money and life to them, so she deserves to do as she damn well pleases.
“Anyway”—I jerk my head to Leo who’s approaching—“better get back to the husband.”
She smiles thinly, saying goodbye and moving on to hassle someone else. I sink back into my seat, relieved that I don’t have to move just yet and request a refill.
“Who was that?” Leo asks, coming up to my side.
I pretend to play dumb, “Who? Matilda?”
He shakes his head, his eyes searching the crowd of partygoers. “No, him. The valet.”
“Oh, Jared?” I shrug, trying to act indifferent even as the alcohol and dinner threaten to travel back up my throat. “He works at the shelter.”
Leo’s gaze returns to me, studying and assessing, but I don’t flinch or look away. I keep my eyes glued to his, daring him to ask the questions I see burning there. But he doesn’t. My shoulders slump, and I tilt my glass back in a very unladylike manor, drinking down half of it and blowing out a gust of breath through my nose as Leo moves away to talk to yet another business associate.
We stay for another hour and a half before Leo finally says we’re calling it a night, and we say our goodbyes. I’m glad because I’m feeling a little drunk and my feet are starting to hurt. He wraps an arm around my waist, almost possessively, as we step outside and wait for his car. But I don’t see Jared. Not until Matilda sidles over to us, puffing on her cigarette and grinning like a devil as she gasps, “Is that a pair of panties in that valet’s pocket?”
My eyes drift over to where she’s staring, finding Jared who’s smoking with his back turned to us and talking to someone. Then they land on the pink lace hanging slightly out of his back pocket. My stomach nosedives onto the cement beneath my expensive shoes.
Oh, hell.
They’re my panties.
“Well, I hope whoever’s been lucky enough to play with him hasn’t done so in our car.” Matilda giggles.
I think I nod, but I’m not entirely sure because my pulse is screaming in my ears as I glance up to see Leo with his eyes narrowed to thin slits on Jared.
A different valet finally brings our car around while I call myself all the names under the sun in my head as I thank God that it’s not Jared this time and climb inside.
The drive home is silent as tension and anxiety fill the very air we breathe. But I can’t bring myself to say anything.
And he doesn’t ask.