The next morning, I’m preparing a picnic lunch while Greta entertains us with a wonderful rendition of a Katy Perry song. Okay, I’m totally lying. It’s so fucking terrible that I feel as though my ears are about to tear themselves from my head, grow legs, and run away any second now. But I’d never tell her that.
I glance over at Leo who’s sitting at the island, trying to check his email while he finishes his coffee. He smiles at Greta, who’s standing by the fridge, waving her arms around as she dances. But it’s definitely more of a wince. Sticking a finger in his ear, he plucks it out and tries to discreetly inspect it for what I’m guessing is blood. Charlie falls into Leo’s side with a loud belly laugh. Then finally, Greta finishes with a dramatic bow. My ears are still ringing as she looks around at us, and as usual, Leo claps. She smiles brightly as Leo gets up and brings his mug over to the sink, whispering into my ear from behind. “I’m still wishing that you didn’t pass on your awful singing skills to her.”
I spin around, slapping him with the dish towel as he chuckles and grabs it, using it to pull me into his body and place a kiss on my head. He releases the towel, turning back to the kids. “All right, ready?”
It’s an unusually warm day for October, but we know it’ll probably be one of the last, so we’ve decided to spend a couple of hours down at the bay and enjoy it.
Leo rounds the kids up, grabbing some towels as I put the last of the snacks into the cooler bag and then follow them out to the garage. He opens the trunk of my car, taking the bag from me and putting it in with the towels before heading to the driver’s side. I get in, tugging my seat belt on as Leo reverses out and closes the garage.
“Can we swim?” Charlie asks when we’re almost there. We could walk really. It’s only a few streets away.
“If the water isn’t freezing,” I tell him.
They both cheer and stare eagerly out the window as we drive into the gravel parking lot. Leo parks, jumping out and staring down at the water. The kids and I get out, and I move to the trunk to grab our stuff.
“Busy?” I ask Leo when he comes around to grab the bags from me.
“Nope. Doesn’t look like many other people are here.”
“Won’t take them long with a day like this.” I close the trunk, and Leo locks the car as the kids run down to the sand.
We sit down, watching the kids toe the water before leaping back with a shriek when they realize how cold it is.
“Come here,” Leo says, grabbing my hand and patting between his spread legs. Smiling, I take a seat between them and relish in the warmth of his arms as they wrap around me.
The breeze blows some hair into my face, and I push it back behind my ear. Leo’s lips land on the now bare skin of my neck not even a second later as we watch the kids, who start digging and building things in the sand. “I’ve missed this,” he says to my skin.
“Me too.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “I’m so sorry. I was such an asshole. You guys didn’t deserve it.”
“Leo—”
He cuts me off. “No, there’s no excusing it. No matter what was fucking with my head. There’s no excuse.”
Watching the kids smile and laugh, I find myself agreeing with him. Even if I can understand his reasons for distancing himself from us like that.
“Well, I love you.” I squeeze his forearms that are around my waist.
“And that makes me the luckiest asshole in the world.” His hand lifts to my chin, turning my head to meet his lips. Sighing into his mouth, I hold the side of his face, feeling those cracks of my heart slide back into place with every slow glide of his tongue against mine. I feel it happen with every touch, look, and smile he gifts me with. I’ve come to realize that this soul deep kind of love is an unstoppable force. And while I understand that some things can’t be repaired, they can always be remade into something better.
Something stronger and harder to break.
His hand slides into my hair, his teeth sinking into my bottom lip before he sucks it into his mouth. “Look, I’m a mermaid queen!” Greta sings.
Shit. I pull away, flushed and breathing heavily while Leo grins down at me.
Looking over at the kids, we discover that Greta has taken it upon herself to wrap herself in seaweed. Charlie sits back in the sand, squinting up at her. “You know there are probably sea bugs and all kinds of other gross things in there, right?”
Greta screams and starts dancing on the spot. “Get it off, get it off! Daddy!”
Charlie falls back into the sand, laughing and holding his stomach. Chuckling, Leo lets go of me and stands, brushing sand from his perfect ass that’s wrapped in denim and jogging down to where they’ve been playing near the water. He removes the seaweed, and Greta watches as he throws it out into the water.
“Are there any sea bugs on me?” Her bottom lip wobbles as she looks up at him. He makes a big show of checking her, declaring that she’s bug free then he joins them in the sand with their shovels.
They play together for a while, and I watch, feeling lighter and so thankful for the three people in front of me. After a little while, I grab the cooler bag and spread a picnic blanket out before setting the sandwiches, chips, and fruit down in the middle of it. Grabbing the water bottles out, I turn around and call them over in time to see Leo bend down to lift Greta into the air. He holds her above his head, spinning her around as she giggles like crazy. My eyes are drawn not only to the corded muscles of his arms, but also to the smile on his face. His strength, that aura surrounding him has always been one of his most attractive qualities. Just for a whole variety of different reasons now.
“Love you more,” I say to Greta, turning off her light and leaving the room to go see Charlie. He smiles up at me as I bend over to place a kiss on his forehead. “Love you,” I tell him, fixing his blankets over him.
“Love you, too.” He yawns.
I go to flick the light off and leave the room when he speaks again, “I’m glad you’re happy again, Mom.”
Looking back at him, my heart stutters as I search for what to say.
He just smiles. “Good night.”
I clear my throat. “Thanks, little man. Good night.” I close the door halfway after switching off the light and make my way to our room for a shower before I head back down stairs.
“Hey.” Leo pats his lap when I take a seat on the couch beside him. I lift my feet to his lap, and he starts rubbing them while staring at me.
“Greta said that she’s not letting her husband kiss her, ever.” I smile up at him. “That he’ll only be allowed to rub her feet.”
Leo huffs, shaking his head with a chuckle. He quickly sobers, though. “I hope she likes this house. She’s not moving out until she turns thirty.”
Giggling, I nudge his hard stomach with my toe. “She’s going to give you hell.”
His shoulders straighten, his fingers gripping my feet a little harder. “Bring it on.” He says it so seriously that I start laughing again.
He frowns down at me. “I don’t know what’s so funny about the idea of our girl …” He shakes his head. “Yeah, no. Let’s not discuss this ever again.”
Smirking, I look over at the news reporter that’s talking on the TV before deciding to change the subject when I remember Charlie’s comment.
“Charlie seems to be doing a lot better.” I chew on my fingernail, staring down at Leo’s strong hands on my feet.
He hums. “I’ve noticed.” He looks back over at me when I remain quiet. “What’s up?”
Damn, I don’t even know how to say it, but I try to sum it up as best I can. “Is it okay? For a child to be so deeply affected by his parent’s relationship?”
His hands pause and my eyes flick up from them to find him frowning at me. “Lia, he’s okay. We’re all okay.”
Nodding, I say, “I know. It’s just—”
“Stop.” He cuts in. “Stop searching for things that might go wrong. Shit.” His head falls back to the couch, and he blows out a breath. “I know I’ve done this to you. To us. But it’s okay to be happy, not to worry. We’re allowed to be happy again, Lia.”
He’s right. He’s absolutely right. But when you’ve lived with only half of your heart for so long—only to have the missing half given back—I guess it’s normal to have some moments of fear. It’s still fresh. The wounds are still healing. But looking at Leo, I can tell that he gets it, especially when he says with a gentle tone, “Breathe. We have a forever to finish living together. Just breathe.”
I stare into his eyes for a heartbeat then shift to move into his side. Resting my head on his chest, I close my eyes.
And just breathe.